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hoping2heal (original poster member #16738) posted at 12:20 PM on Monday, December 31st, 2007
Why is this book shown on the SI shell? Is it a really good book that everyone should read?
BS (me) - 38
FWH - 38
4 kids
'98 - PA/EA resulted in us separating
'06 - discovered he'd joined 6 married dating websites
'07 - discovered EA
'09 - FWH admits he's a sex addict -- now working on recovery!
Lucky2HaveMe ( member #13333) posted at 1:52 PM on Monday, December 31st, 2007
I can't answer the "why it's there"... but it was a great book for ME.
My FWH "hates" Dr Phil 
so he refused to even pick it up.
The book helps you dive into who YOU are. The basis is that you cannot change the other person, so you have to start with looking at yourself.
It was very eye opening for me.
Love isn't what you say, it's what you do.
lost and lonely ( member #17205) posted at 3:09 AM on Tuesday, January 1st, 2008
I'm reading that book right now. I also got the workbook that goes along with it. It's a little bit tough to do all of the exercises. But, so far I think it's been worth reading. It helps you get in touch with yourself.
Me: 39
WxH: 39
Together 16yrs, married 12yrs (we were 16 and 17 when we met...high school sweethearts)
2 sons
Separated 6/09, Divorced 2/11
Cloudy and Clear ( member #25665) posted at 8:22 PM on Wednesday, December 2nd, 2009
Anyone else work through this book and workbook themselves (i'm a BS)? Just curious.
I listened to the audiobook and decided to get the workbook.
My iC keeps saying work on yourself, work on yourself, blah, blah... but I guess it makes sense b/c the only one you can control is yourself, right?
Any thoughts on this resource anyone?
C and C
myrriad ( member #6437) posted at 12:39 AM on Thursday, December 3rd, 2009
I thought it was nice to sit down late at night w/FWS and do the little quizzes. Even though we both knew lots of the answers, it was good to have a refresher.
Me and him: 40's
A: 9/03 - 12/04
D-Days: 4/8/04 & 6/14/04
Both: Rediscovered & Reconciled
looking forward ( member #25238) posted at 11:43 PM on Monday, December 7th, 2009
I tried his book, but it was too wordy and I lost focus.
Both H and I now have a library of more than 25 books, all current and bought at second-hand stores. As the WS, a book that really helped me was: Living the Truth by Keith Ablow, MD. It also has exercises that I am still completing as a journal on my laptop. There is valuable self-reflection to be found which has helped BH and I in our communication.
[This message edited by looking forward at 5:44 PM, December 7th (Monday)]
Together more than 58 years, Married 53 years. Sober since 2009. "You've always had the power, my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself." (The Wizard of Oz)
Sandela ( new member #26737) posted at 11:34 PM on Tuesday, December 15th, 2009
I agree with Dr. Phil's approach because everything I've learned about healing stresses that the most important aspect is focusing on becoming a stronger, healthier person. But WS & I have been working through the book together, so we can learn about ourselves as well as one another. We modify some tests and mostly skip the journaling sections. It has given us insight into our own thought processes as well as each other's. We have RR and the workbook and even though we're not very far in to them yet, so far, they've been very helpful & enlightening.
Sexual love is socially responsible; nurturing the fabric of the larger community to which the lovers belong. --James Nelson
hardtimes09 ( new member #26884) posted at 9:54 PM on Wednesday, December 23rd, 2009
My WH is deployed so i purchased the RR and the workbook in light to repairing the damage he has done to me emotionally and then when he gets home he can do them and then we can do them together.. i think it will be interesting to see where we stand on the t/f test of where our relationship is once we are all done with these two books.
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