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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Long Term Affairs V I I I
hearbroken
Member
Member # 8317
Default  Posted: 10:24 AM, January 29th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OTC, BT & the tribe, Thanks for the well wishes to get through the bumps.

NOW, I've got a little confession & it might be TMI... but here it goes. You guys are my tribe and I need some positive thoughts.

I have an IUD, and my aunt flo has lightened with that over the past couple years. BUT I've been having NO sign of Aunt Flo for a couple months AND now a sore chest, etc.

So, I think it's time for a pregnancy test.... Remember guys, I'm 38 and this would be the LAST thing that our family needs with me being the only breadwinner, having had difficult pregnancies & a significant loss, etc.

SOOOOO, wish me luck. FWH has been nagging me to go get the test, so tonight & shop and tomorrow I test.... I'll keep you posted. Maybe this is pre-menopause?!?!?

HB


Dday1 8/05 (LTA)
Dday2 4/09 (online EA 2 weeks then confessed)
Dday 3 8/10 ("full disclosure" of more infidelity prior to 2009)

Posts: 869 | Registered: Sep 2005
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 10:26 AM, January 29th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Feeling rather evil today, can you tell?

Me too, hbh. Is it a full moon or something. Anyway, it's a lot more fun than those days when we're down.
Let's just enjoy this.


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 10:32 AM, January 29th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Heartbroken - Is it possible that it's the stress? Stress can really wreak havoc on our bodies. I have heard of early menopause (a niece-in-law started around your age) but it's good that you are going to test for pregnancy.
We'll be here for you either way, on that you can be sure.
(((HB)))


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
OneToughCowgirl
♀ Member
Member # 14817
Default  Posted: 10:41 AM, January 29th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((HB)))) Will be sending you minus sign vibes but really sending you best possible outcome vibes. I know this is the last thing you need. But if it is positive it may be just what you need to bring new energy into your home and M. Who knows what the big guy has in store for any of us, but this may just be a blessing if you are PG. (((((HB))))) keep us posted.


M 20 years / together 25 yrs
6 yr LTA
Me 47
FWH 48
D-Day Jan. 2006
We're good and getting better every day!

Posts: 607 | Registered: May 2007 | From: Chicago
OneToughCowgirl
♀ Member
Member # 14817
Default  Posted: 10:45 AM, January 29th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My V-Day Card to the diseased whore:

Feeling lonely?
Feeling blue?
Feeling dumped and used up too?

You thought you could hijack my life
But truth be told I AM the wife
You were just an ego stroking piece of meat
An accomplice to a cowardly cheat

So be gone with ye pathetic whore
You're not wanted here any more
And get a good dry cleaner with a special knack
To get those tire tracks off your back!

Happy Valentines Day You Whore!

BT, why did you ever bring this up? I will be at it all day now and I have to work!!!


M 20 years / together 25 yrs
6 yr LTA
Me 47
FWH 48
D-Day Jan. 2006
We're good and getting better every day!

Posts: 607 | Registered: May 2007 | From: Chicago
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 10:47 AM, January 29th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((HB)))))

Whatever happens, you are going to be alright.
I agree stress plays complete havoc on our cycles. Mine has moved into the opposite direction, and I think I have become anaemic now.
It could be pre-menopause as well. Those pg kits are not completely reliable though.Can you not have a blood test done with GP as well? In fact, tell them to test everything, hormones, thyroid etc.

If its been a few months, that would mean that you are past the first trimester, and you WOULD know by now, wouldnt you?
Take care HB.

****
FNF, bring it on! I love it when you dignified smart lot get into the sandbox and play with us!!


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
So Lost
♀ Member
Member # 16801
Default  Posted: 10:52 AM, January 29th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have to say, I was pregnant about a month after dday. I miscarried pretty quickly and have to be honest in saying I do not want any more kids. But it was such a shocking thing to deal with. ((((hugs and prayers for whatever is meant to be))))


Me: BS
Wh: WS
Dday 10/28/07
LTA with coworker
Attempting Reconciliation
he is remorseful, I am willing, we'll see what happens

Posts: 671 | Registered: Oct 2007
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 10:53 AM, January 29th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG OTC - that was fantastic!
Screw getting anything done today - let's blast them into the hell hole where they belong!


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
numb and scared
♀ Member
Member # 9908
Default  Posted: 10:56 AM, January 29th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((HB)))))

I echo everyone's thoughts and hugs.

Stress, especially the underlying unexpressed stress can do strange things...including bring on early peri-menopause.

But if not.....well, life can take some unplanned turns.....as we all know.
Thinking of you.....

Cowgirl, also thinking of you and your scheduled re-test.

Love the poems everyone...fnf, yours are great. Cowgirl...."tire tracks"...

Feeling evil? Yep, here too...not really a bad thing though....I see it as mental Pilates....

Hugs to all


BS
LTA
"Lying is the strongest acknowledgement of the force of truth."
- William Hazlitt
"Let us move on, and step out boldly, though it be into the night, and we can scarcely see the way."
-Charles B. Newcomb



Posts: 3958 | Registered: Feb 2006 | From:
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 11:31 AM, January 29th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
Your smile looks like
You've lost your teeth too

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
Surely you didn't think
He could ever love you

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
I'm so glad that
My wife found out about you

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
(dang I had a real good one in my head and the phone rang at work and I lost it)

Better go
FSA


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 11:47 AM, January 29th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It must be sad
To see how bad
Things have turned for you.

But take my word
It was absurd
To think he'd leave me for for a filthy turd.

Now let's face facts
Those tire tracks
Look oh so good on you.
They're well deserved
You know it's true
So wear them proudly as you stew.

You spread yours wide
Till tossed aside
It's your reality so true.
You were nothing but
A convenient slut
And hell's the place for you.

So slither away
To that lowly place
Where others like you
Go to hide their face.
Cause no one with pride
And an inkling of soul
Could have been so grateful to be just a HOLE.

I'll leave you with just one more thought
So you never forget what your deception has taught.
You never were
Nor ever could be
As charming and lovely as
Lil ole me.

ETA - I really do need to get a job!

[This message edited by forgivenotforget at 11:53 AM, January 29th (Tuesday)]


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 11:50 AM, January 29th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HB,

Wishing and hoping for whatever would be best for you. But a tribal baby would be too cool. Can't you just picture her in beret and warpaint?


BT


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 12:47 PM, January 29th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
Have you looked over your shoulder
'Cause the LTA Tribe is after you

I once knew a snaggletooth slut
And I tried to tell her to go away but

She kept coming around
She passed it all over town

Until one day I'd had enough
So I threw her butt under the bus

Now I have my wife back
She's not under attack

So go back under your rock
And just hope that my wife doesn't aim and cock

FSA


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 12:52 PM, January 29th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe this is pre-menopause?!?!?
That's what I thought when my last one was born. But he has been such a blessing. And he is what has held H and I together.

Good Luck to you!!! Which ever way you want it to go.

And a tribal baby would be sooo much fun.


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 1:05 PM, January 29th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FSA - Yea! Glad you joined me in the sandbox!
Here's another one for the skanky hoes:
Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
What could be nastier
Than being you?

And another:

There once was a nasty ole ho
Who had nowhere else to go
So she tempted a fool
Who was utterly cruel
And gave into his damaged ego.
Now many tears later
He knows no one's greater
Than the wife he so callously
hurt.
He has since comes to his senses
And has totally repented
For falling face down in your dirt.

[This message edited by forgivenotforget at 1:08 PM, January 29th (Tuesday)]


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 1:21 PM, January 29th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fnf, OTC and FSA...I bow down! You guys rock!
***
Speaking of rockin', heres my quick take!


Lady you're a slut and you make a big noise
Playin the field looking for a weak man all day
You got mud on yo face
You big disgrace
Spreadin your legs all over the place

We will we will out you
We will we will out you

Lady youre a skank slut ho' man
Shoutin in the street gonna slide under that rock some day
You got cum on yo face
You big disgrace
Wavin your ugly mug all over the place

We will we will out you
We will we will out you


Lady you wont get an old man or poor man
Pleadin with your eyes aint never gonna find you some peace some day

You got mud on your face
You big disgrace
Somebody better put you back in your place

We will we will out you
The tribe will we will out you

Apologies to the Great Freddie M.


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
OneToughCowgirl
♀ Member
Member # 14817
Default  Posted: 1:28 PM, January 29th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Freddy would have been PROUD Lost! FNF and FSA - you have me cracking up while I'm overseas teleconferences!!! You're a bad influence!


M 20 years / together 25 yrs
6 yr LTA
Me 47
FWH 48
D-Day Jan. 2006
We're good and getting better every day!

Posts: 607 | Registered: May 2007 | From: Chicago
hearbroken
Member
Member # 8317
Default  Posted: 1:40 PM, January 29th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FSA,

That's what I thought when my last one was born.

Well, one step at a time, I suppose.

Thanks for all the support. It's so nice to have the tribal support here. I'm going to do a test, but maybe take the advice and see my GP.

Hugs to you all.... I'm loving those songs & poems. We could just have our own band, and SVS could sing our "unique" songs while we play.

HB


Dday1 8/05 (LTA)
Dday2 4/09 (online EA 2 weeks then confessed)
Dday 3 8/10 ("full disclosure" of more infidelity prior to 2009)

Posts: 869 | Registered: Sep 2005
zanny
♀ Member
Member # 13183
Default  Posted: 2:11 PM, January 29th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi All:
I thought I would pop in for a bit. I really can't keep up with all of the posts. It just overwhelms me, especially since my marriage has taken a huge backward step.

H had an EA starting 5 months before our first d-day. An old college flame had contacted him, and the relationship was emotionally very well connected by the time my first d-day came. My first d-day was the 5 year LTA that H had with a very special skank.

Anyway, when d-day hit. It rocked both our worlds, but he had this little love doodle to lean on during the troubled times. It seems like this very special skank repeatedly told him how our marriage was doomed and we would never recover. They met four months after d-day, it was a long distance EA, and had one physical encounter.

The rest of the relationship was a lot of bad quality phone time with her panting after him and inquiring about how I was doing. Her concern just genuinely touches me....hmmm

So, we get better and better. Our relationship improves, but he can't shake her. Why? Because he is weak and wants to be the good guy all around. She, also can't take a hint, numerous ones.

So, here I sit. Three weeks after d-day #2 with a second OW that lasted close to two years of hovering around my M trying to peer in and get a grip to hijack my life. Of course, these men just give them so much, the rest is never theirs for the taking, but they don't realize that. And, of course men don't realize the damage they wreak in trying to be the all around KISA.

So, when this broke, I basically resigned myself to I am done working on my M. It's up to him. I poured all of my energy into this recovery, and 16 months later, this is what I have. I don't have the steam to push this R back up the mountain. I know the mountain, I know the trails, and I know the back roads, but I am too tired to take the journey. It's his job to trail the mountain and write the map.

So far, he's all over it. Started IC, reading Shirley Glass, reading on SI, etc.. He initiates the conversations, he talks, he does the analyses....not me.

It's different. I am detached and watchful. I don't jump in to fill gaps. I told him that I will just wait and watch to see if he is making the journey. I know the lay of the land, and I'll be able to tell by his remarks if he is doing his work.

So, that's all for now. Don't be upset for me. It actually has been one of the most liberating experiences for me. You see, I really know now, that it was not me. I am free. I paid the penance, and now I am free to do what I will. No guilt here. I have done the journey free and clear with a pure heart.

Hugs & Buckets of White Light


BS-Me
WS-Him
D-day #1 LTA
False Reconciliation then
D-day #2
In reconciliation


"Just when the caterpillar thought it was over, she became a butterfly."


Posts: 573 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: The Middle of Somewhere
mumto3sat
♀ Member
Member # 14336
Default  Posted: 2:22 PM, January 29th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ah Zanny, just read your tag line.

You have finally become a butterfly.

(((((Zanny))))))

Thinking of you.

Mumto3.



Me (BS): 38
Him (WS): 38
3 children, d 6 s 4 s 1yr
D day #1 03/16/07 8 mth ea
D day #2 07/13/07 turned into 7 year long term affair, pa/ea 08/18/07 Got final info - is that it?

Posts: 284 | Registered: Apr 2007 | From: UK
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