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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: N.P.D. Thread Part V
StungAgain
♀ Member
Member # 13283
Default  Posted: 12:13 PM, January 20th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sweetie, you have no idea how much I can relate to what you are saying. You are most definitely NOT alone. I have been just recently described anti-anxiety meds because I too am extremely hard on myself, at times I get severe panic attacks and literally feel like something is holding down my chest and I feel this sense of "freezing up".

I go thru days where it is hard to believe how different things are for me, and times when I wish things never changed. But yet at the same time I am believe it or not glad that somethings have happened the way they have, because it has forced me to become the independent woman I used to be, but she got lost a long time ago, it is taking a lot of work, and definitely baby steps, but I just have to believe it will be worth it in the end.


BS 41 (me)
H 42
'GOOD FRIENDS ARE LIKE STARS...
YOU DON'T ALWAYS SEE THEM,
BUT YOU KNOW THEY ARE ALWAYS THERE.'

Posts: 822 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: British Columbia,Canada
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, January 20th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi (((Tribe))) !!!
ANother silly report:

STBXPDW texted me yesterday to say that she would be dropping of DD8 at 2PM. DD8 witnessed her text me and said, "Dad doesn't want you to text him". STBXPDW: "I don't care what your Dad says". Nothing like digging your own hole?

NPD Freaks, they are so silly !!! LOL.

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 10:08 AM, January 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi (((Tribe))),
It would appear that my compliant to Social Services concerning STBXPDW was the reason that the Sherriff's Dept Detective interviewed DDs on Friday.
I'm meeting with him this afternoon. Interesting.
DDs have two counseling sessions this week. Hopefully soon this can be put into STBXPDWs court and out of mine.
Dealing with an N and an N FOO is a PITA, huh? I feel the more that she can be held accountable for her action to an outside source the more it removes myself from having to "police" her. I hope so, at least.

The BoB Report. LOL.

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 11:48 AM, January 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is right, BoB. Keep us updated!

(((((huge hugs)))))


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 12:22 PM, January 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

[This message edited by jjct at 7:50 PM, February 19th (Tuesday)]


Posts: 6021 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 2:14 PM, January 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Tribe))),
Hmmmmm.... Sheriff Detective was just here. I asked if he wanted to see the house. He said it wasn't necessary so we hung out in the kitchenette/living room.
Apparently STBXPDW is working three jobs that sounded as if he had gleaned that from the kids. I guess the kids have some stuff they've yet to tell me?
He wanted to know how long the kids and I have lived here/moved out (July 31, 2007), why (not the affair BTW, it was the continued lying, gaslighting, etc.), how often the kids stay over at STBXPDWs, why I wouldn't let them stay overnight any longer (abuse), etc.
SO it was mostly about the Social Servicers angle.
I had my full gamut of docs with me and he looked at some including Police reports that he didn't have, etc. I asked if he wanted copies (as I have a boat load) he didn't need them.
I told him why I thought things were this way and I said I believe Character/Personality Disorders, including all the lying, raging, gaslighting, deciet, etc. etc.
So hopefully that was helpful.
Also talked about BIL, SIL, MIL and the rest of FOO and issues with them.
She is asking for 50/50 Custody/Placement and keeps telling the authorities that that's what the courts ordered. That is not true. That is what we requested on the divorce petition (which is a request, not an order) and I explained as to why it hasn't been 50/50 (STBXPDW behaviors).
So that's the latest installment of the "BoB Report".
Now back to your regularly scheduled programming... LOL.

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 2:40 PM, January 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Alcohol seems to also play a very big part...


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 3:22 PM, January 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Dream)))
Funny you should say that (as it is true and cocaine) cause I stumbled across a picture of her online at a bar raising her shotglass with a bunch of other folks. LOL. It never ends. I can only imagine what there is to find if I were actually looking. E-flippin-gads. LOL.

BoB

[This message edited by bobelina at 3:23 PM, January 21st (Monday)]


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
Cerise
♀ Member
Member # 16053
Default  Posted: 3:24 PM, January 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bob, does your stx have a diagnosis?

Posts: 1691 | Registered: Sep 2007
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 3:40 PM, January 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Cerise)))
No. But I'm starting to wonder if there was one in her youth.
When I had said to her awhile back that I would have her evaluated it seemed to scare her. Interesting.
Depending how things go with mediation I will request drug testing and psych testing.

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
Cerise
♀ Member
Member # 16053
Default  Posted: 3:54 PM, January 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Bob))))Please be careful giving your opinion to police, etc.

I would think psych. testing would be a good idea in your case.


Posts: 1691 | Registered: Sep 2007
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 4:32 PM, January 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Cerise))) and (((Tribe))),
I've been very careful what I say. I say that this appears to be PDs. If it walks like aduck, quacks like a duck, swims like a duck, it's most likely a duck.

Just like I try to post here.

I believe that if the shoe fits, so be it. I didn't break her and I can't fix her. I also didn't buy these shoes for her. LOL.

And to be careful as you don't want to sound vindictive, which funny, none of the tribe seems to be. I guess it's true about the NPD Freaks being drawn and attracted to our not like their's outlook on life, ie: everyone's out to get you, get them before they get you, "Paranoid Pete" syndrome, everyone lies, cheats, and steals, look out for #1, etc. etc. etc.

I've been slow to act, slow to draw my "sword". I'd hoped STBXPDW would cool her jets and behave. No such thing.

Like in the "Art of War", Buddhism, Taoism, Shaolin, Christianity, etc. Be slow to respond, give them the benifit of the doubt, give them opportunities to correct/adjust their course. "War" is a last resort and to be taken seriously and gravely. War sucks for everyone involved. There kinda are no winners. It is what it is. I didn't start the fight but I will END it. Hopefully. LOL.

Does that explain what I do and how I think and feel about it, where I'm coming from? I do appreciate all of the (((Tribe's))) concern and monitoring of my situation. All thoughts, feelings, advice, etc. have been much consideration. You have walked the path before me and I'm honored to draw from your experience.

Crazy Brain Dead BoB (He who still hasn't made the Gumbo !!! LOL.).


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
itsabattle
♀ Member
Member # 13036
Default  Posted: 5:16 PM, January 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bob - I think you are doing exactly the right thing - you are calm and factual which is what the authorities want to see. From their perspective there is no emotion involved, all they want to see is the evidence. I agree with cerise that you have to keep your opinions about what she has got to yourself, unless of course you have hard evidence.
Your case seems to be heading towards the day in court when it will all come out. I fear that this will be a horrible day but necessary. Unfortunatly mine was as well.
Just be on your guard, I think she is likely to try something - a full on character assassination perhaps?
I think she may go for the vindictive approach in court and portray herself as the victim. My ex accussed me of severe mental cruelty, frivolous spending, affairs etc etc. Be prepared for this. It is the cookie-crew's signature!!
This is very wearing for you so you also need to assess your own needs in all of this. You are doing just fine Bob! You have a steadfast belief in youself and deep love for your daughters - with those qualities how can you fail?

Posts: 1233 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: england
taybre
Member
Member # 14685
Default  Posted: 6:31 PM, January 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey BoB thanks for checking on me. I am doing well. Moving along. I am positive my ex is N and for a long time he has beat me at everything because I was intimidated by him. Well I am getting my balls back, the ones I had before he convinced me that I was things other than I really am. First things first, orginally in our divorce I opted out of the friend of the court, I was scared of him and did what he wanted. Well now, I have opted back in..next is to have a hearing to change basically everything in our divorce because every single thing he wanted was only to save money on child support but of course he we are a year later and he isn't keeping up his end of the deal at all. This jackass even takes my 7 year old daughter to school late the fricken one time a week he has to get her there.

But on a lighter note..why the hell is this guy (my ex) now such a great boyfriend to the OW. He cooks, cleans, grocery shops, she is pregnant and my daughter told me she doesn't get out of bed and EXN takes total care of her.

This kills me. I did everything in our marriage. He didn't even take out the trash or mow the lawn..how can he change for her when I was the one who invested twelve years to make him be a good husband


Posts: 147 | Registered: May 2007 | From: michigan
Dragonfly32
♀ Member
Member # 16362
Default  Posted: 6:57 PM, January 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Tribe)))

Checking in , I took a few days off for myself.. I have been on the computer for so long..

My squeaky wheel is getting some grease!!!

Got a letter from the Board Of Examiners today. Bitch PhD WILL BE investigated. HA!

Bitch PhD recieved her letter, called while I was at work, left message. I called back about an hour later, bitch PhD did not answer. Recorded phone call and documented

My boys were sick with a stomach bug Thur-Sat.. PER THE DECREE, I had to contact Asshole first to see if he could watch the boys cause I had to work. Of course he came to get them.. Which is good I suppose.. But even better.

The mini Karma bus paid a visit.. Asshole caught the virus too

Oh but I am the one making the boys sick Really? Then how did asshole get sick ???(snicker snicker snicker)

Of coure the boys didn't get their allergy meds while they were there (4 days), but I didn't get mad just wrote it down in my ever expanding BOOK OF CRAP

I will catch up on everyone's posts. Just wanted to let you all know that I am here and still fighting.


If life's not beautiful without the pain,
well I'd just rather never ever even see beauty again.
Well as life gets longer, awful feels softer.
And it feels pretty soft to me.
Modest Mouse


Posts: 149 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: Oklahoma
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 8:05 PM, January 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Dragonfly32)))
Good news, good for you !!! Keep up that good fight !!! May he drip nose gobblins the size of volkswagons in his soup !!! "THE BOOK OF CRAP", now that, is a good title for N-Documentation. LOL.

(((taybre))),
Glad to hear that you are doing well. Hmmmm... Getting the kido to school late on his only day? I think I've heard that one before too !!! LOL. He's being a N. He can be so good to her, as it's the way the N gets in. To be the "SoulMate", "The One". Remember him doing it to you? Patience Grasshopper. "Actions unmask what words disguise"~Veritas

A crazy day here at the BoB Ranch:
Pro Se
Sheriff's Detective
School Counselor
Kids Counselor
And life (which is good !!!).

I'm tired. Time to watch cartoons or something. LOL.

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
itsabattle
♀ Member
Member # 13036
Default  Posted: 12:55 AM, January 22nd (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What is it with the school run?
The freak texted last night to say he can't do anymore school runs. At all. There's nothing like being dropped in it from a great height is there?
I have to work to get money to look after the kids, to feed them etc etc. He needs money to be a freak! He has no sense of priorities. He then thanked me for my understanding of the matter -all I did was go "whatever".
He then asked if we could talk to the kids together to explain why he can't do the school run anymore. I think not!
The kids took it in their stride when I told them - I think they are used to being disappointed by him. Sad but true.
It is just one more responsibility they cannot deal with. If I was taking the kids to school it would be my priority of the week. There lies the difference! Freaks - the whole damn lot of them.

Posts: 1233 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: england
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 1:02 AM, January 22nd (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Itsa)))
Are you saying Mr. Wonderful (Secret SI code for Fucktard*Asshat Daddie) Can not (will not) take the kids to school?

Fuck him. I'll take the kids to school. LOL.

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 7:22 AM, January 22nd (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BoB, you truly *rock*!

Please ~ Can we clone you?


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 9:26 AM, January 22nd (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Dream)))
Hmmmmm..... Clone me?

Well that might come in handy while cleaning the house... Hmmmmmmm...

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
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