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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: N.P.D. Thread Part V
Dragonfly32
♀ Member
Member # 16362
Default  Posted: 4:17 PM, January 10th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DD What an idear... hmm does anyone own a small island of the coast somewheres... I'll help draw first blood


If life's not beautiful without the pain,
well I'd just rather never ever even see beauty again.
Well as life gets longer, awful feels softer.
And it feels pretty soft to me.
Modest Mouse


Posts: 149 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: Oklahoma
Cerise
♀ Member
Member # 16053
Default  Posted: 4:29 PM, January 10th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DD

Posts: 1691 | Registered: Sep 2007
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 5:27 PM, January 10th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DD~ that was superbly fantastic!


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 5:57 PM, January 10th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In my fantacy they would all go to that place and be unable to leave but with one twist. They would have noone to deal with but other NPD. Maybe after a while of living with people as screwed up as they are they would either be perfectly happy or they would reform and see how freaking screwed up they are. Like I said it is a fantacy.

Bob My ex used to pull a similar stunt about getting up. He would always make it my responsibility to get him up for work. Of course when I would wake him up he would always go back to sleep so I would have to do it over and over until he would get us. Of course then I was accused of nagging. If I didn't it was my fault for not getting him. I was damned everyway there as. He even convinced the marriage councelors etc that this was my resposibility as his wife.

The kicked was when he moved out he still complained about it and wanted me to call him and get him up. He said his alarm was not doing a good enough job and he needed me to help. If I didn't he would not have the money for child support because he would lose his job. (poor baby). I told him it was not my job and he better figure it out. I suppose the fiance has taken over the job now.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 7:56 PM, January 10th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I found something for your wife:

http://www.uberreview.com/2006/03/top-ten-most-annoying-alarm-clocks.htm

Could be a late Christmas present!

This morning, my N got pissed off because my alarm went off at 5 am and I didn't get up (I like to wake up slowly, so I set 3 alarms). I reminded him that *his* alarm goes off at 4 am EVERY MORNING for the past few years, and he never gets up at 4. He bitched for 5 minutes -- then HIS alarm went off. I think I would have clocked him if he hadn't gotten up.

*all that noise for five minutes of sleep???*
*now I know to set my first alarm to 5:06*

ETA: And that's another thing, too: it used to be my job to wake him up and he was FOUL about it. Cussing, screaming, leave me alone.... but if I didn't wake him up there would still be hell to pay. And if I was still in bed and he wasn't, he didn't change the noise level nor keep the lights low; it was like I wasn't there. God forbid that I should get up and make any noise or turn on any lights around him, however. And should I manage to still be sleeping, he'd come wake me up to tell me he was leaving. This is the same mofo who rarely bothered to tell me when he was leaving the house in the middle of the night.

[This message edited by veritas at 8:58 PM, January 10th (Thursday)]


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
Longlost
♀ Member
Member # 16177
Default  Posted: 8:51 PM, January 10th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lied2, et al., in the early years of the marriage, Bizarro make me responsible for waking him up. He was extremely difficult to wake up. It was HORRIBLE. He always yelled and cussed, and on a few occasions, he even threw punches. It hurt my feelings terribly. He insisted that he was asleep when he said those things and struck at me, so it didn't count, and I was just too sensitive. I put up with that for a long time, and I got the same kinds of excuses. "You HAVE to wake me up, or I'll flunk out or I'll get fired and WHERE would we be then?" But I finally had enough and told him that it was NOT my responsibility to wake him up. His punishment? He started setting the clock about 45 minutes early, turning the volume as loud as it would go, and hitting the snooze alarm again and again and again until I thought I would go stark raving mad!

This brings back another memory of absolute torture. He was in his first year of college. I was trying to teach myself how to type. I wasn't very good at it, but he asked me to type up one of his papers for him, and I said "sure." He waited until the night before the paper was due and handed it to me without warning. I started typing and he stood behind me watching. He made me start over every time I made a mistake. He wouldn't let me use liquid paper. He was so nasty. I was sitting there trying so hard to type that damn paper without making any mistakes. I typed the same damned pages over and over and over. For hours. With him raging at me. I finally told him that I couldn't do it. I told him that if he wouldn't let me use the correction fluid, I had to give up. He finally gave in, and I got the thing typed. The next day, I told him that if he ever wanted me to type anything for him again, he had to give me advance notice, have the thing ready early, and stay away while I typed it. He never asked me again. What an ordeal! What a total asshole. Yet, I was the one who felt like I'd failed him. And here I am telling you about this more than 30 years later, and the stress of the memory has knit my brow so tight that I'm getting a headache. For decades, I've asked myself "Why would anyone DO that?" about so many of the things he did. At least now I know. Apparently complete escape from Bizarro World isn't possible, but THANK GOD I don't live there any more.

[This message edited by Longlost at 8:54 PM, January 10th (Thursday)]


Wisdom and pain are not mutually exclusive.
____________________________
Barn's burnt down--
Now I can see the moon.
--Mizuta Masahide

Posts: 288 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: West of Bizarro World
Dragonfly32
♀ Member
Member # 16362
Default  Posted: 10:45 PM, January 10th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


This is so freaky,,, Asshole was the same way.. I had to get him up too.. He works for his parents and if I didn't get him up in time XMIL would call and make me feel like a shitheal for not getting him to work on time because XFIL would "fire" him. It was a never-ending cycle of BS.. I would get mad and stop waking him up because I was taking care of the boys who are 17 month apart to the day, working from home 32 hours a week (at Night). Asshole WOULD get fired but XMIL would pay him anyway.. while he was "looking for another job" Then XFIL would take him back on, tell me to make sure to have him there on time blah blah blah...

5 years and it was like clock work, Every 6 months Asshole would get fired or quit... all because he can't get out of bed on time. WTF

Now it is OW's problem

BUT at the same time my youngest son reports that Asshole makes OW cry all the time . Am I supposed to feel bad for OW??? They were together while we were married.. HELLO, I don't think I should feel sorry for her. She is 22 years old, 1/2 my age... She has some time to figure it out on her own. That is awuful of me to say... IS IT NOT??????


If life's not beautiful without the pain,
well I'd just rather never ever even see beauty again.
Well as life gets longer, awful feels softer.
And it feels pretty soft to me.
Modest Mouse


Posts: 149 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: Oklahoma
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 12:52 AM, January 11th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((tamarack)))
Is posting in D&S and is having a lot more hell with her N. What a guy. And his friend.

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 12:56 AM, January 11th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it was Veritas who commented on how similar the Ns behaviors are. How similar our stories are.
I've had the waking up hell stuff too. Not so much her being disruptive as her not being able to wake up and when she did wake up she was generally pissy and or raging. I kid you not. Go to give her a kiss good morning and she would freak out and give every excuse as to why I couldn't hug or kiss her. These people (er, monsters? LOL.) are just so freaking whacked. Really. Really whacked.

Big (((HUGS))) for all. What a hell of a ride, eh?

BoB

ETA: (((Veritas))) I ordered all 10 of 'em !!! (Just kidding). I think though that the cops would make wonderful alarm clocks !!! LOL.

[This message edited by bobelina at 1:06 AM, January 11th (Friday)]


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
itsabattle
♀ Member
Member # 13036
Default  Posted: 1:04 AM, January 11th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The island full of npd freaks? As soon as they were all on it I'd just blow it up! Otherwise I would consider it a waste of resources.

I despise these people.

The new ones on here are doing so well. I would say not to put any pressure on yourselves to distance yourself from the ex as it really does take time. And it is an individual thing.
I have being separated from my freak for two years (divorce for two months). The first year of separation he was still in the house. So I have had quite a long time apart from him and I could only begin to recover when his physical presence was nowhere near me. However, he still invades my thoughts at least once a day for one reason or another. It is all about no contact and then time to tend to your wounds.

It is a massive thing to get your head round about what an npd freak is really like and then you spend time thinking about your own role in the mess. I think it takes a long time to recover. Some of you are in the early stages but you will get there.


Posts: 1233 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: england
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 1:10 AM, January 11th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The Island of NPD Freaks.

(((Itsa))) That's funny !!!

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 1:28 AM, January 11th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Tribe)))
Okey dokey. One more post and I gotta sleep.

I got a call from the mediation people today. They were asking about the CPS action. I told them about that and we talked about other things I filled in such as alcohol and drug abuse, mental illness and visitation with those that one should be weary of such as ILs. So they got the low down. They were wondering if the mediation was even necessary should STBXPDW been served with an order. Darn. Not yet.

When I arrived for the mediation orientation yesterday I did tell the mediator lady that the last time I saw STBXPDW, at the pre-trial, that as soon as the judge and his assistant left the room STBXPDW started laying into me. And that STBXPDW started laying into me as we were leaving the pre-trial.

We discussed my concerns for the children and the STBXPDW behaviors.

Still don't know what the motion is that her lawyer set a date for.

We'll see. Thoughts appreciated.

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 4:35 AM, January 11th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Another nitemare starring the "creature" (Thanks for the term LL. ).
Curious: When does it stop? LOL.

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
StungAgain
♀ Member
Member # 13283
Default  Posted: 7:03 AM, January 11th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Bob)) Good for you for being so proactive with the mediators and getting all the information out there to them in advance. It doesn't surprise me that your STBX does things without anyone seeing them, I swear she is related to my STBX because that is something he would do

I am curious as to what the motion is about also. When is it to be heard?

As for me day 2 and no contact from him, but I just have this feeling... anyone know what I mean, after a huge blow up you words no nothing for a few days, then BAM there it is ??

I have a long day today, I may not make it back on, but I will try.


BS 41 (me)
H 42
'GOOD FRIENDS ARE LIKE STARS...
YOU DON'T ALWAYS SEE THEM,
BUT YOU KNOW THEY ARE ALWAYS THERE.'

Posts: 822 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: British Columbia,Canada
janedoe99
♀ Member
Member # 17083
Default  Posted: 7:17 AM, January 11th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I probably should post this in General or Just Found Out -- but does anyone here know of a device that attaches to a phone and records conversations? Maybe this question has been posted on SI before?

Any direction (even if it's how to search the SI posts) would be great -- I'm doing some Google searches myself, but someone around here may know the best device for cell phones (because that's the phone STBXN uses).

Thanks!

JD


Me BW 36 Him WH/XH 32
DD - 4 y/o; DSS 11 y/o
M 4yrs/ Together 8
D-day#1/2 - Sept. 2007, Nov. 2007
Divorced 4/08

Posts: 156 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Florida
janedoe99
♀ Member
Member # 17083
Default  Posted: 7:31 AM, January 11th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I may have answered my own question...

I found some telephone recorders online, and most are posted on those "spy" stores. There's a store like that about 5 minutes away from my work, so I'm going to check it out at lunch today.

But I'm open to recommendations still

JD


Me BW 36 Him WH/XH 32
DD - 4 y/o; DSS 11 y/o
M 4yrs/ Together 8
D-day#1/2 - Sept. 2007, Nov. 2007
Divorced 4/08

Posts: 156 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Florida
Threnody
♀ Member
Member # 1558
Default  Posted: 8:12 AM, January 11th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hilarious, DD. I especially like the part about each having his/her own newspaper and grabbing the headlines.

(((DD123))) I know you can't post a whole lot of detail here right now. But are things at least moving forward, or are you stalled? Any indication of when this will all be over?


“If you don't like my opinion of you, you can always improve.” ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
"Great love requires determination." ~ tryingtwo
"Don't try to win over the haters, you're not the jackass whisperer." ~ Brene Brown

Posts: 14039 | Registered: Jun 2003 | From: Middle-of-Diddly, TX
taybre
Member
Member # 14685
Default  Posted: 8:49 AM, January 11th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dragonfly32- I feel the same way you do.."Oh he's making her cry poor girl...walked in on a marriage and a familiy and sucked a big (or should I say little one LOL) for that job..She thought she got a prize or something..she can have him and all his bad behavior. I used to be a strong believer that noone deserves that kind of abuse...however I have changed my mind..these whores get whatever they receive.

Posts: 147 | Registered: May 2007 | From: michigan
NoControl
♀ Member
Member # 14961
Default  Posted: 9:45 AM, January 11th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I used to be a strong believer that noone deserves that kind of abuse...however I have changed my mind..these whores get whatever they receive

Hell yes (((taybre))) I couldn't agree more. Maybe they'll learn. But then a fresh crop of skeezers will pop up in their places and steal their (our old, worn out) men and let the cycle continue. Nasty ass skanky homewreckers! I feel as angry about my XH's cum dumpster (thanks veritas ) as I do about HIS actions. If those women KNOW these men are married and cross that line anyway; and agree to pick up where they drop us off- then ENJOY! I think alot of these cheating N spouses have even *less* respect for them because they don't have the morals that we did. And you know that how things *appear* (moral vs. immoral) is everything to these twisted fuckers. They can *do* it, as long as they don't *appear* to be doing it. RRRRRR! Sorry all for the vent.


"I Became Insane With Long Intervals of Horrible Sanity" -E.A. Poe

Posts: 483 | Registered: Jun 2007
itsabattle
♀ Member
Member # 13036
Default  Posted: 10:39 AM, January 11th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Goodness Bob - you really are in the thick of it at the moment! I can't give you much advice as your system isn't the same as over here but you keep doing what you are doing and that is putting the dds first. Anyone with a brain cell can see who is doing the first-class parenting. I know how tough it is to be in the thick of it but this state of turmoil doesn't last forever. If it did we would have all exploded by now!

In response to the idea of these other women getting what they deserve - I am sure they will be! After all who on earth would want to end up with someone with a personality disorder!! My ex's ow entered into her relationship with her eyes fully open - she knew he was married. Therefore, she deserves what she gets: a fat middle-aged, balding, boring, thick, foul-breathed, man-boobed, small-willied mental-home reject! And the sex will be crap! And she will never have any money! Ha Ha! That made me feel better!


Posts: 1233 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: england
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