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Topic: N.P.D. Thread Part V
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jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484 |  Posted: 10:20 PM, March 29th (Saturday), 2008 |     |
I would try BoB's welcome to the land of broken toasters -thing, but he's better -
snarkalicious!
Welcome to the (((((TRIBE))))))- where we....
what the hell are we doing here, anyway?
Imagine. Your best move.
Now imagine it used against you.
Posts: 4474 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas |
Heartless Bytchh
♀ Member
Member # 12347 |  Posted: 10:31 PM, March 29th (Saturday), 2008 | |
Giving each other moral support.
Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit
Posts: 6055 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise |
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312 | | Posted: 10:50 PM, March 29th (Saturday), 2008 | |
(((Heartless Bytchh))) and others whom have recently wandered into our den of despair elimantion,
Welcome to the (((Tribe))) of Lightbulbs and Toasters, AKA: The N-Survivors Club, AKA: The Club of and From Hell, AKA: The Island of Misfit Toys.
Keep reading. As you do, all or at least more, will be revealed. Your not crazy. You've been in a crazy making situation, regardless if they fit all of the criteria of the Disordered.
------
Interesting Buddhist Stuff:
BoB edits in italicized bold
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11 SIGNS OF A SUBLIME PERSON
It is a sign of a sublime person...
1. to be less envious and conceited.
2. to have less craving and be content with just the basics of living.
3. not to be pompous, haughty, or arrogant.
4. to be without hypocrisy or double-dealing.
5. to examine precisely and conscientiously any course of action and then carry it out with mindfulness.
6. to be on guard concerning the karmic consequences of actions, as if he would protect his own eyes.
7. to be free from duplicity in keeping vows and samaya commitments.
8. not to be prejudiced or false-hearted towards sentient beings.
9. to be forgiving and non-aggressive toward those who do evil.
10. to offer all victories to others and accept all defeats for oneself.
11. to differ from worldly-minded people in all thoughts and deeds.
These are the eleven signs of a sublime personage (hmmmmm... That sounds like someone who is pretty on the ball, not disordered and pretty gnarly !!!).
Their opposites are the signs of not being a sublime personage (hmmmmm... That seems to scream...... DISORDERED !!!! LOL).
from Precious Garland
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BoB 
ETA: Cause I'm Lame with grammar and sentence structure and stuff.   [This message edited by bobelina at 10:56 PM, March 29th (Saturday)]
Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)
Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away... |
Heartless Bytchh
♀ Member
Member # 12347 | | Posted: 2:32 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2008 | |
8. not to be prejudiced or false-hearted towards sentient beings.
9. to be forgiving and non-aggressive toward those who do evil.
I kinda flunked thise two.
I'm very prejudiced towards people who know damn well they're hurting other people by their words, actions, or whatever and just don't care and continue to to the same.
I don't forgive them until they change their evil ways either.
Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit
Posts: 6055 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise |
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142 | | Posted: 5:33 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2008 | |
yeah, I flunked it, too.
I sent something to my N via e-mail yesterday.
It was a copy of something very damaging that he had written to a 3rd party (not A related) and was captured by my key logger.
I did not hear back after I lobbed the *bomb*.
Boy, am I glad I had IT, too!
Maybe he's finally gone out of my life for good.
Perhaps not.
It will be a most interesting week ahead.
But, whatever happens, I feel strangely FREE of the crazy evil POS.
~WH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~
Posts: 25122 | Registered: Sep 2005 |
Heartless Bytchh
♀ Member
Member # 12347 | | Posted: 6:34 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2008 | |
Why did you send it to him, then?
Wouldn't that be like waving a red flag in front of a bull?
Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit
Posts: 6055 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise |
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142 | | Posted: 6:38 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2008 | |
HB, *Lurker Alert*
I have my personal reasons and the time was-- right.
That is all I can say on the topic right now.
But, suffice it to say, I have additional back up "ammo"...
~WH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~
Posts: 25122 | Registered: Sep 2005 |
Heartless Bytchh
♀ Member
Member # 12347 | | Posted: 6:52 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2008 | |
Ok, I unnerstan'
Mum's the word.
Zip the lip.
Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit
Posts: 6055 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise |
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807 | | Posted: 10:43 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2008 | |
Strung did I read that right? You are living in a hotel with the N? God that sounds like pain. I wish you had other options.
I am sorry to hear about the jobs. Firing you in writing like that is just crappy. Perhaps it is for the best.
I am happy you have a lawyer helping you get this mess straightened out. Hopefullu you can get some of this deal with so you can move on with your new life.
Wiht you shoulders hurting you should try some omega 3 tablets. They can really make a difference.
The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.
The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.
A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.
Posts: 8195 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada |
StungAgain
♀ Member
Member # 13283 | | Posted: 11:32 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2008 | |
Evening Tribe
Bob I just smile everytime I see you post and write, I love reading your posts :).
JJCT!! Good to hear from you how have you been?
Welcome HB!! You are welcome here :)
Lied, unfortunately you are right, choices are very minimal at the moment. BUT he is on nights and I am on days so it isn't like I see him a whole bunch, which right now is for the best, otherwise my unsuspecting anger may get the best of me.
I am calling my lawyer tomorrow morning to see if he has done anything for me. I am also waiting to hear from my former lawyer who did my divorce, if she can take on this case, I will get her to do so, and remove the other one who seems to be too dam busy to even call me back. 
I agree I think the work thing is for the best. Oh I went to work (the janitorial one) and they have told me that if i want more work they will give me more and with more comes more $$. As for a place, I am waiting to hear from a realtor that I have been in contact with several times. The nice thing is the place that I am looking at, if WH and I don't work out, I can afford it by myself told ya this woman is thinking straight!
Just gotta play my cards right so that WH can back up my claims of being common law married with him at the time the transfer between him and OW were done so that my share of the property comes to me fair and square. With any luck OW will get her $40,000 that she is owed and WH gets nothing (just like he deserves) oops there comes that anger again  and I get what is rightfully mine.
Personally I want the title and deed to the property and house afterall my heart and soul have remained intact to the place. If OW wishes to continue doing renovations to the home fine let her, less money for me to put into it *kidding* she probably has really tacky tastes anyways 
BS 41 (me)
H 42
'GOOD FRIENDS ARE LIKE STARS...
YOU DON'T ALWAYS SEE THEM,
BUT YOU KNOW THEY ARE ALWAYS THERE.'
Posts: 822 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: British Columbia,Canada |
kacy
♀ Member
Member # 18792 | | Posted: 11:48 PM, March 31st (Monday), 2008 | |
sorry...double post[This message edited by kacy at 11:50 PM, March 31st (Monday)]
"I know everything's going to be ok...if you'll just stay gone."
Jimmy Wayne
~ Time wounds all heels.~
Posts: 94 | Registered: Mar 2008 |
kacy
♀ Member
Member # 18792 | | Posted: 11:49 PM, March 31st (Monday), 2008 | |
Hi everyone. I'm just joining this thread and am horrified to be here - but so glad to see that there might be a light at the end of my tunnel.
Mine's a long story that can be read over on "just found out" (The confrontation)
I have been looking into the 'controlling' aspects of my WH's personality and have come to the sad realization that he is some form of NPD...it is Dante's ninth circle of hell for sure...
Thanks for letting me hang out here. I hope I can learn how to get through this with you...
"I know everything's going to be ok...if you'll just stay gone."
Jimmy Wayne
~ Time wounds all heels.~
Posts: 94 | Registered: Mar 2008 |
Heartless Bytchh
♀ Member
Member # 12347 | | Posted: 8:29 AM, April 1st (Tuesday), 2008 | |
Thanks everyone.
I wish we didn't have to be here.
Kacy, I've been reading your confrontation thread JFO and it sounds like you're in for a helluva ride.
I'm learning about this NPD stuff too and the horror just keeps unfolding.
For years he'd give me little tasks to do like call someplace and get some info for him or set up a Dr. or dentist appt. and then he'd never go and I'd have to call them back and cancel.
And if I didn't do something fast enough for him, all hell would break loose and I was always to blame.
I told him many times I was tired of jumping through hoops for him.
Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit
Posts: 6055 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise |
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807 | | Posted: 9:39 AM, April 1st (Tuesday), 2008 | |
Welcome Kacy. I read your confrontation post. He sure does read like a NPD.
I get the ignore thing with the mundane "it never happened" thing from my ex. He used to go off, flip out, smash things and then storm away. When he would return it would be like nothing ever happened. No discussion, not work through it. It just didn't exist. He was totally incapable of remembering what had happened. It was like his mind would just delete the information he didn't want to deal with.
Mine also did the appointment thing. He used to tell me that he would fall apart if I ever left him. He didn't but he came close to losing him job etc. because he didn't have someone getting him up, making his meals, scheduling his appointment. He was worse than the children with things like that. I know that his fiance has to do it all now. It makes me wonder how they remember to breathe without someone telling them.
Make sure you gather and secure all the finacial papers and move assets into your name for safe keeping if the lawyer thinks you can. It will save you from having to fight to get them back later. Once the war hits you could find it very difficult to manage if he is going to try and "freeze" you out. My ex stopped paying all the bills on everything and it was almost a year before we got child support etc. ordered. Had I not taken assets we would have lost the house and who knows what else. I had no job or income of my own and it took me a while to get it all sorted out. He intended to make things as difficult as possible so that he could blame me when it failed. (now he rages at me because I succeeded )
Make sure you eat and sleep. I personally found that I had a few foods I could choke down and keep down for the most part. I ended up eating the same food (hot pockets ) for almost 6 weeks straight because nothing else was working.
Is the Son you talk about your stepson?
Do you have contact with the exwife? She might have some interesting things to say since she has already dealt with him in court. She might be valuable to get an idea of the road ahead. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I always assume my ex is going to act out so then when he does I am not surprised.
You might find it helpful to go back and read some of the other threads on NPD. It can give you some insight into how these people act. Often it seems unreal until you see it in action.
Take care
The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.
The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.
A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.
Posts: 8195 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada |
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142 | | Posted: 11:14 AM, April 1st (Tuesday), 2008 | |
Welcome, Kacy!
How are you doing?
((((hugs))))
Not a peep from my N...not sure if this is good or bad, yet. 
But the FREE Feeling is great!
Screw him!
~WH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~
Posts: 25122 | Registered: Sep 2005 |
kacy
♀ Member
Member # 18792 | | Posted: 12:54 PM, April 1st (Tuesday), 2008 | |
The child still in the home, is my youngest son, who will be heading to college this fall. My older son is in college in a neighboring state, and NPD's son is - not surprisingly - not in contact with his dad for about the past 2 years....NPDs son will turn 18 this year....
"I know everything's going to be ok...if you'll just stay gone."
Jimmy Wayne
~ Time wounds all heels.~
Posts: 94 | Registered: Mar 2008 |
Heartless Bytchh
♀ Member
Member # 12347 | | Posted: 7:08 PM, April 1st (Tuesday), 2008 | |
Heard a song on the radio coming home tonight.
I used to like this song.
Now after learning about N's it fits them so well.
Cult of Personality - Living Colour
Look into my eyes, what do you see?
Cult of Personality
I know your anger, I know your dreams
I've been everything you want to be
I'm the Cult of Personality
Like Mussolini and Kennedy
I'm the Cult of Personality
Cult of Personality
Cult of Personality
Neon lights, A Nobel Price
The mirror speaks, the reflection lies
You don't have to follow me
Only you can set me free
I sell the things you need to be
I'm the smiling face on your T.V.
I'm the Cult of Personality
I exploit you still you love me
I tell you one and one makes three
I'm the Cult of Personality
Like Joseph Stalin and Gandhi
I'm the Cult of Personality
Cult of Personality
Cult of Personality
Neon lights a Nobel Prize
A leader speaks, that leader dies
You don't have to follow me
Only you can set you free
You gave me fortune
You gave me fame
You me power in your God's name
I'm every person you need to be
I'm the Cult of Personality
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So much of this rings for me.
Like the line 'I exploit you yet you still love me'.
Ain't dat da troof?
And the line 'only you can set me free' to me translates for me to 'only you can feed my need'.
Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit
Posts: 6055 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise |
itsabattle
♀ Member
Member # 13036 | | Posted: 12:11 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday), 2008 | |
I see getting over a relationship with someone with npd as a rediscovery of oneself. I have found again so many things I enjoyed before I met the freak - things like music, art etc. I feel like I stopped living for the ten years I was with him.
I know I had two children as well but it seemed like I did not exist anymore. We never ate the food I liked, watched tv programs that I liked etc etc. I did not change or develop in those ten years.
What a scary realisation! Part of me is looking back to find the things I liked and part of me looks into the exciting future. I do know that whatever direction I am looking in it is amazingly better than being the person I was whilst in an unhealthy relationship. I am thankful it was only ten years of my life - I cannot imagine what it must be like to give twenty or thirty years to someone like the freak.
Does anyone else have a similar perspective?
I hope you are all well - I read here every day even though I don't post. It is as if I have run out of things to say! I hope you are all moving forward.
Posts: 1233 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: england |
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142 | | Posted: 1:06 PM, April 2nd (Wednesday), 2008 | |
Yes, itsa, I am going through this, too.
I avoid colors, songs, and things N "liked"...and am being TRUE to myself, un-hindered!
Feels wonderful.
Not a peep from him -- yet...I ripped his Mask Off just like the shrink did...I can't help but wonder what he's up to.
Great song, HB.
You know, I always used to get this cut & run feeling from my N. Like if he got caught, he wanted to be ready at all times to split.
I thought it was just my "imagination"...that I was having a Melt Down...but, its really true.
Unsure if its due to NPD or ???
Anyone else here get that "escape" feeling about their N?
~WH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~
Posts: 25122 | Registered: Sep 2005 |
Threnody
♀ Member
Member # 1558 | | Posted: 9:21 PM, April 4th (Friday), 2008 | |
Y'all, please visit the General forum to offer up your love and support for one of the tribe. Heartless Bytchh's young daughter passed away today. 
“If you don't like my opinion of you, you can always improve.” ~ Ashleigh Brilliant
"Great love requires determination." ~ tryingtwo
"Don't try to win over the haters, you're not the jackass whisperer." ~ Brene Brown
Posts: 13780 | Registered: Jun 2003 | From: Middle-of-Diddly, TX |
| Topic Posts: 1000 | |
