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Newest Member: DisappointedDude (43160)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: N.P.D. Thread Part V
Balancing Act
♀ Member
Member # 19047
Default  Posted: 10:58 AM, April 13th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OFU and cj...

Yep...me too...I instituted the NC immediately (only 1 D-day and I was DONE). I had already begun to realize his N tendencies and so I had one foot out the door already, he just opened the door a little wider for me.

But I hear you...Not one word from him about remorse or sorrow for hurting me, but I'm ok with that, too...it just makes what I have to do that much easier on me...thanks buddy.


Me - BS....living a wonderful new beginning and giving love another chance

Tulsa Area Coffee Buddy


Posts: 2443 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: in the middle, somewhat elevated
OutFromUnder
♀ Member
Member # 19061
Default  Posted: 1:13 PM, April 13th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh I'm so glad I'm not alone! It is like we are totally of no consequence whatsoever--absolutely invisible. I have an NPD mother who is highly into berating. On the one hand, she does know you exist enough to berate. With the ex, I was no more than a dust ball. I'm not sure what was worse.

One thing I do know is that I, too, would rather not have to deal with a vindictive, stalking, vicious NPD. I'd take dust ball status over that.


Posts: 79 | Registered: Apr 2008
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 1:34 PM, April 13th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There are many exceptions and variations on the N "theme".

Look at The Big Picture.

Just because my N is neat, punctual, and clean...it does not make him any less of an N.

He still IS a creepy N/sociopath.

Ted Bundy worked on a rape crisis hot line...he was "clean cut", "compassionate", etc.
And, look what he DID!


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
Balancing Act
♀ Member
Member # 19047
Default  Posted: 1:46 PM, April 13th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

oh, absolutely - the N's run the gamut..

Mine is an intellectual N - I think I might actually be a teeny, tiny bit grateful for that, but it does not make it any better or worse for any of us who are having to deal with them. I count myself lucky though, to have been OVER him for quite a while...I'm just worried about what he will bring to the table through our divorce...trying to get a handle on how they all think...as if...


Me - BS....living a wonderful new beginning and giving love another chance

Tulsa Area Coffee Buddy


Posts: 2443 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: in the middle, somewhat elevated
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 2:56 PM, April 13th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Tribe)))
Check out this header:
------

Narcissists Suck
No life is ever a complete failure; it can always serve as a bad example.

http://narcissists-suck.blogspot.com/

------

Cool site. Interesting info.

BoB

[This message edited by bobelina at 2:58 PM, April 13th (Sunday)]


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 4:08 PM, April 13th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On my ongoing drama got a little interesting today. Ms HoHo replied to my son's message.

Hi Lied2-kidlin
Nice to hear from you. I know your dad really misses you, and has tried to make arrangements to see you.i am sorry there has been so much resistance. Please don't tell you mom my email addres or last name. I don't want to get invloved this is not my issue.

Hope to see you soon, and i know you dad will give you the address real soon. love you xoxox


"sorry there has been so much resisitance" Ya by who? NUTCASE

"Please don't tell you mom my email addres or last name." That would have worked if your exfiance of 6 years hadn't worked with me and was more than willing to share with me all about you, your kids, your ex. Oh and the email was easy since Nutcase sent it to me in an email he cc to you. No worries there

"I don't want to get invloved this is not my issue." Yup the soon-to-be step kids will never be your issue will they. God forbid that you would expect your fiance to be a responsible parent and actually see his kids now and again. We all know that would cut into HoHo time so why would you?

They both sent my son friend requests. I made it clear to my son that he can't have me on his facebook since he will have them on there. I want nothing to do with him seeing me and my friends because I know he won't be able to resist tracking me online.

Yup the ones they hook up with are definitally clueless.

Now I wonder how long it will take for me to have the address and phone number. Atleast she now knows that he is not being totally honest with her and is spining some kind of story. She is in for a rough ride but at this point it almost makes me giggle.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 6:10 PM, April 13th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Lied)))

------

Narrator:
"Is that your final answer?"
Ms HoHo:
"My answer is:"
"Nice to hear from you. I know your dad really misses you, and has tried to make arrangements to see you.i am sorry there has been so much resistance. Please don't tell you mom my email addres or last name. I don't want to get invloved this is not my issue.

Hope to see you soon, and i know you dad will give you the address real soon. love you xoxox"

Police. lawyers, CAS etc.:
"WRONG ANSWER !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

------

May Nutcase and Ms Hoho both be sent up the river where they can enjoy themselves making little rocks out of big rocks.

BoB

[This message edited by bobelina at 6:13 PM, April 13th (Sunday)]


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 6:12 PM, April 13th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

the popcorn's deee lish!
s'all I got to say...

Posts: 5996 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 6:32 PM, April 13th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yeah, jj, pass the *real* butter, yummm...CRUNCH!


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:40 PM, April 13th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hey dream? could you pass the salt?
makin little rocks out of big ones...!
LOL!!!!!!!
@BoB

[This message edited by jjct at 7:41 PM, April 13th (Sunday)]


Posts: 5996 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 8:13 PM, April 13th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

They definitally need lots of little rocks to fill their empty heads. God knows there is nothing else in there.

Have you ever seen a pair better suited to be together?


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 8:35 PM, April 13th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 9:15 PM, April 13th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wheeee, BoB!


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
nascentstarr
♂ Member
Member # 18615
Default  Posted: 9:19 PM, April 13th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

N are stingy.
N make constant power plays.
N are super critical.
N have strange ideas about luck- namely, that they have back luck and everyone else has good luck.
N don't learn from their mistakes, and in fact they are dumbfounded when trouble that they started follows them.
N are petty.
N are unreliable.
N don't dream much.



Posts: 100 | Registered: Mar 2008
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 9:29 PM, April 13th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Have you ever seen a pair better suited to be together?"

the good news: sick concoction, yet - "notyos"

the bad news; seen alot here!

BoB!! You ROCK!


Posts: 5996 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Catsbrains
♀ Member
Member # 18868
Default  Posted: 5:59 AM, April 14th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Im wondering if my ex was an NPD.
He could not admit when he was wrong.
He was very intelligent with facts but not smart.
He was conceited.
He excelled at his job.
He did nothing around the house.
He thought about things to himself for a while, and then gave me his conclusions as if we had been talking about this topic for months. Strange. Explains why he left so abruptly. He had been planning it for awhile.
He was vain. He worked on his physique constantly.
He played video games such as WOW for hours on end.
He was very competitive.
He never wanted to have sex. Ive read that this is a sign of the NPDs who use intelligence to promote themselves.

So, is he an NPD?


BS 37
WS 42
Married 6/6/04
Dday 3/6/08
Divorce Final 4/17/08

Posts: 237 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Las Vegas
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 6:10 AM, April 14th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Catsbrains)))
Welcome to the (((Tribe))) of Lightbulbs and Toasters, AKA: The N-Survivors Club, AKA: The Club of and From Hell, AKA: The Island of Misfit Toys, AKA: The Clan of the Phoenixes Who Will Rise Again,

Although some of us do play Psychologists on TV (just kidding) we are not qualified to diagnois.

We can help you to make a well informed analysis of your own, by helping you through your N-aftermath.

The best place to start is the first NPD Thread here:
http://survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=158555

Through out these NPD Threads, there are many references and discussions concerning the Disordered.

It is hard to get an apparent disordered person properly diagnosed as they do not believe that they are a problem.

I have seen your post describing His Dishonor's email. If nothing else he is an Asshat*Fucktard (SI lingo for less than nice person).

Keep posting and learning and reading. With knowledge comes insight and discenment. We are here for you.

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 7:05 AM, April 14th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And Cat, if while you're reading up on it, you start getting creepy "OH NO!" moments -
well, I'll just say to you that I hope you don't -
and that i HOPE you're dealing with just a 'garden-variety fucktARD' (BoB will translate that if'n ya need him to!)

((((HUGS))))) whatever the case may be-


Posts: 5996 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
cjonesjag
♀ Member
Member # 10617
Default  Posted: 7:44 AM, April 14th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He never wanted to have sex. Ive read that this is a sign of the NPDs who use intelligence to promote themselves.

This is the *cerebral* narcissist. That would be my WTFH as well. Someone else here (recently) stated that their WS is a cerebral narcissist.

cj


Me (BS):50
Him(WTFH):51 Married: 05/26/2002
DD#1: 09/2005 (EA) DD#2: 09/2006
Mini-DDays: Many. Mostly online
DIVORCED 10/20/10
It's not what you've got, it's what you give.
It ain't the life you choose, it's the life you live

Posts: 6400 | Registered: May 2006 | From: Michigan
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 10:15 AM, April 14th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome Catsbrains

Mine only wanted sex when it was easy to gratify himself. If it was easire to use porn and his hand then that is what he did (usually that was his choice of gratification).

People like this tend to be ultimately selfish and self absorbed. The whole world exists to serve them and their needs. They will tend to focus on things that give them an ego stroke. They want a nice house but don't want to clean and repair, they want the promotion but will only work if they get the ongoing ego stroke as they work, they spend time with their kids only when they can get admiration and attention from the kids and when the kids become difficult they find any excuse to not have anything to do with them while making your fault (mine won't give me his address and phone number so he has a reason to claim I am a vendictive bitch for keeping his kids from him but saying how much he misses his kids and would do anything to have more time with them )

Even if they are only on the low end of the scale living with someone like that for any length of time can drive a sane person nuts because it is done with such cunning and slight of hand that you wonder if you are only imagining them acting this way. They tell you over and over that YOU are the problem while doing everything in their power to gain and maintain control of you to feed them attention. It is total crazymaking at its finest.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
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