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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Long Term Affairs -IX
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 4:14 PM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lost Suol shares her wine cooler with mumto3sat... careful, don't make those eggs tipsy!

Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
Steelergal
♀ Member
Member # 13113
Default  Posted: 4:17 PM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Cheers, ladies and gents! Try to have a good rest of the day for YOU or sweet dreams if you're on your way to bed.

Posts: 701 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: No Cal
mumto3sat
♀ Member
Member # 14336
Default  Posted: 4:17 PM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks BT. Hic!

Actually they are being fertilised tomorrow (now that seems a bit weird considering it's her H's eherm ) and then they will grow any embryos over the weekend and will be transferred to her on Monday. She's been on various injections like me to bring her into line with my cycle so that she is ready to receive them at the right time.

I went to IC today and talked about it for a few minutes and even had IC tearing up! It is truly amazing what science can do these days.


Me (BS): 38
Him (WS): 38
3 children, d 6 s 4 s 1yr
D day #1 03/16/07 8 mth ea
D day #2 07/13/07 turned into 7 year long term affair, pa/ea 08/18/07 Got final info - is that it?

Posts: 284 | Registered: Apr 2007 | From: UK
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 4:17 PM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LostS, the pendant is from the Metropolitan Museum of Art giftshop catalog. I've bought jewelry from them before and it's very nice.


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
mumto3sat
♀ Member
Member # 14336
Default  Posted: 4:19 PM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks lost suol - very generous, I've got some lovely (miracle no fat/no sugar but taste just like the real thing) brownies if you fancy one.......


Me (BS): 38
Him (WS): 38
3 children, d 6 s 4 s 1yr
D day #1 03/16/07 8 mth ea
D day #2 07/13/07 turned into 7 year long term affair, pa/ea 08/18/07 Got final info - is that it?

Posts: 284 | Registered: Apr 2007 | From: UK
numb and scared
♀ Member
Member # 9908
Default  Posted: 4:21 PM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh ((((mig)))) hon,

You've been given good prep advice, including the drink or xanax.

Zanny's advice is key....no matter WHAT..stay calm and quiet.
Let him say it...
We all know how easily their window of candor will slam down.

It has been a day of deep valleys for me.....very deep, but a coincidental (as if there is such a thing) call from a tribal sister lifted me just when I needed it.

I can't stay on to dine with you all at our tribal altar but I want all of you to know how very much I appreciate all of your support today. Each one of you had a part in being my wings.
My situation has required me to not disclose it to anyone close..so you all are it for me......thank you.

I have agreed to go to dinner with H....he wants to talk. We need to leave soon. I am completely neutral, for want of a more dramatic word, about going...kwim.

Buckets and Showers of light and love......

((((((((((no mor, run, cowgirl, zanny, BT, fsa, unable, whimsey, mum, HR, weepy, mig, Lost, so lost, shirley, lost soul, svs, hefty, Joe)))))))))
Oh God, I hope I didn't leave anyone out..if I did, know you are there too.

BT,

She is a friend of mind. She gather me, man. The pieces I am, she gather them and give them back to me in all the right order. It's good, you know, when you got a woman who is a friend of your mind.

This is our tribal mission statement...!!!!

Raise a glass for me....I will be.... to you all.

Hugs, Numb

[This message edited by numb and scared at 4:25 PM, February 14th (Thursday)]


BS
LTA
"Lying is the strongest acknowledgement of the force of truth."
- William Hazlitt
"Let us move on, and step out boldly, though it be into the night, and we can scarcely see the way."
-Charles B. Newcomb



Posts: 3958 | Registered: Feb 2006 | From:
mumto3sat
♀ Member
Member # 14336
Default  Posted: 4:29 PM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Got to go to bed as I need to be up so early. Quickly before I go;

OTC - fantastic news! The Waddleneck has finally left the building!

MIG - please know that I am thinking of you (as I know everyone here is) it is hell this trickle, I hope he has found the courage to really tell you everything, you may finally be able to release the infection that has been poisoning your M. The advice you have been given is so true. Especially that of trying to listen and let him get it out. I just listened and then just cried. There was nothing else to do, I couldn't even feel anger at that point. It broke him and that's when things started to improve. Here's hoping for you.

Sorry to all those who've had a bad day, Vday has never really meant anything to me and anyway I assume H spent it with her last year because he sure as hell wasn't with me. So doesn't really mean much does it?

Have a nice evening NAS.

Zanny you are sounding so strong.

Good night all.


Me (BS): 38
Him (WS): 38
3 children, d 6 s 4 s 1yr
D day #1 03/16/07 8 mth ea
D day #2 07/13/07 turned into 7 year long term affair, pa/ea 08/18/07 Got final info - is that it?

Posts: 284 | Registered: Apr 2007 | From: UK
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 4:29 PM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Good to hear from you, Numb.

Ladies, I am off to get dressed for dinner with the three most wonderful men on the planet. We are going to have us a good ole' New Orleans po' boy guaranteed to bust the diet. Can't beat it.

Much love to all. Mum, I'll be thinking of you.


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 4:31 PM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm a little late but I'm here to raise my glass of champagne to all of the wonderful people here. I'm with Lost - I couldn't have made it without each and every one of you.
May this be a day for creating stronger bonds and warmer friendships.
Love you all!
fnf
P.S. Weepy - your torte was amazing!


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 4:32 PM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

MIG, I'll check back in later just in case you need an ear. I hope both of you keep your courage up enough to get through this. You really do need the truth, even when it hurts like hell.


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

H called from work. We are having dinner out BUT with a colleague from work who goes home to the US tomorrow. Not quite what I had in mind. Oh well... at least I don't have to cook.

Numb... how are you doing?

MiG... are you still waiting for your H to return?

G'nite to those in the later time zones.

Anybody still here?


Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
lovegonewrong
♀ Member
Member # 17440
Default  Posted: 4:45 PM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi everyone, as you know things have been hellish of late for me. Triggers, triggers and more triggers, so we had a huge fight yet again on Tuesday night, lots of emotions and things we wanted to say but hadn't.

We had agreed that we would not do V day since it was a huge trigger for me because of his actions and abuse last year, but while fighting the other night I said to him that I regretted not doing V day that I think it could be a good start to letting some good in. So we agreed to celebrate it.

So I went out and got him a small box of chocolates, massage oil, candles, voucher for massage and one hell of a sexy nighty. I presented these gifts to him over the course of the day. (left them on the bed with instructions on when to open what.

I was delivered 20 long stem roses at work, I phoned to ask why only 20? He said 1 for every month of his A as a way to say sorry. Yeh me!! When I returned home I was presented with a big hug, kiss and lead into the bedroom where he presented me with the most wonderful card explaining how much he loved and appreciated me. I cried. I was then given a small box. Inside the box was a lovely diamond & ruby ring. BEAUTIFUL. I was then taken to dinner table where there were candles, 2 smiling children, flowers and a wonderful husband who could not do enough for me.

So we put children to bed and I presented him with his sexy nighty which he loved...... and we had a little evening delight.

What a wonderful day. and I only thought of his A three times the whole day (once because he mentioned about the number of roses). Another big step for me.

Just wanted to share some good news with all of you for a change.

Thanks to all you who have given advice to me lately. I truely appreciate it.

[This message edited by lovegonewrong at 4:48 PM, February 14th (Thursday)]


Monty Python, "It isn't the despair. I can handle the despair. It's the hope that's killing me."


DDay #1: 04 March 07
DDay #2: 10 May 2007 revealed all (I hope)

profile has all the sordid details...


Posts: 124 | Registered: Dec 2007
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 5:10 PM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LGW! that's wonderful. Thanks for sharing your day. Seems like you two made a good start with V-day.

Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
hearbroken
Member
Member # 8317
Default  Posted: 5:17 PM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Checking in to say hello & a late toast to all in this wonderful group. Valentine's Day may be about romantic love, but there are all kinds of love... and I think the love and respect and empathy we show each other here every single day is a special kind matched by no other. So thank you to each of you.. the veterans, the newbies, and all of those who supported me through antiversaries and being displaced with the fires. This bunch came together because of the aftermath of the LTA, but this group is so much more than that.

BT, thanks for thinking of us. A pendant as a symbol is just a fabulous idea. You continually inspire us.

HB


Dday1 8/05 (LTA)
Dday2 4/09 (online EA 2 weeks then confessed)
Dday 3 8/10 ("full disclosure" of more infidelity prior to 2009)

Posts: 869 | Registered: Sep 2005
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 5:48 PM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Little look round the corner and the room is looking empty! Who drank all the Champagne and ate all the chocolates?? Well, Iíll have this last sip of S.comfort and say goodnite and hope itís been okay for you all. We had a lovely meal out, but H is now asleep on the sofa. Why am I not surprised Ė and me in stockings and all, bet he lasted longer for OW Ö.. oh well. VDay just doesnít do it for me anymore. Yet another item tossed out into the past. Still, I donít have to think about it for another whole year! Moving on.

Mig Ė take care hon, I hope what he has to say is not as bad as you feared. Let us know, won't you?

LostH Ė I like the sound of the smoothie, might do one for breakfast. Mmmmm.

Mum, thinking of you, what a wonderful person you are. Good vibes for good eggs and big hopes for your sister. Take it easy for a while.

LGW. So pleased for you. Boy done well award. Big smiley!

Nite nite. xx

[This message edited by UKgirl at 5:50 PM, February 14th (Thursday)]


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 6:52 PM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Going up to get ready for dinner. Read you in the a.m.

Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 7:56 PM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just came in from MC and dinner.

BT - thanks for ordering the Cristal and the necklaces are lovely; I might order one IRL! Interesting MC on V-day, I actually recommend it as some of my deepest sadness came out and he was there to see. She looked at him and said "do you see this, what do you think?" she asked him if this is what he wanted out of his life. Then she told him that I was the only one left with a choice; he had already made all the other choices, he may have lost it all. I was sobbing but it felt good. It is so sad as he brought 24 red roses with a wonderful card but it is seems as if it doesn't matter anymore.

After we went and had a nice dinner. I think he may be beginning to understand the hurt he has caused us all.

Sorry to be glad and gloomy at the same time. And, sorry I missed out tribal toast.

mum - good luck. You are a saint do you know that?

LGW - I am happy for you. Thank you for sharing your good news with us.

MIG - if you are there, I will be up for a couple of hours. Please check in and let us know that you are okay.


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
numb and scared
♀ Member
Member # 9908
Default  Posted: 8:47 PM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

lovegonewrong, UK girl and steelergal..damn, I knew I forgot someone. Hugs to you all too.

Dinner was nice....roses, card, jewelry...but beyond that....a direct admission at dinner of "I abused you...you have definitely been abused by me, before and during and after, and I need to find out why and how I could have done that to you."
It was probably the one thing I didn't expect, yet soooo needed to hear.

But I need to see that admission become a true journey for him...and told him so. It needs to have a long and very real shelf-life...

But I have to credit this coming from him to the fact that he has been reading "Steering Clear" by Earl Wilson..the book that no mor recommended a few weeks ago.
It is written by a pastoral counselor, who himself trekked the slippery slope. His insights about the precise path and subsequent actions of cheating and denial behavior are stunning.

I even ventured into WW forum to suggest it to a WS who was asking for book recommendations. Never heard whether or if it was accepted, but, hey, I didn't expect any feedback.

I can't praise this book enough.
If any therapists are lurking here,
PLEASE read this before you start any future session with an infidelity couple....especially a LTA one.

Mum, I will be visualizing those eggs very busy becoming fertile. Hugs to you and your soon-to- be sister/mom.

To tomorrows for us all. >>>>

BT, I have bought things from the Met Museum store in the past too. Will be looking for that piece....thx for finding the perfect tailsman.

[This message edited by numb and scared at 8:51 PM, February 14th (Thursday)]


BS
LTA
"Lying is the strongest acknowledgement of the force of truth."
- William Hazlitt
"Let us move on, and step out boldly, though it be into the night, and we can scarcely see the way."
-Charles B. Newcomb



Posts: 3958 | Registered: Feb 2006 | From:
up2me
♀ Member
Member # 10681
Default  Posted: 8:48 PM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hey shirl made your pasta/tomato/mozzerella dish
for valentine's day...great reviews
thanks for sharing
hugs all around

Posts: 690 | Registered: May 2006 | From: ny
numb and scared
♀ Member
Member # 9908
Default  Posted: 8:54 PM, February 14th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((up2me))))

You too, sister...!!!!

We need to make a list of all the tribe...


BS
LTA
"Lying is the strongest acknowledgement of the force of truth."
- William Hazlitt
"Let us move on, and step out boldly, though it be into the night, and we can scarcely see the way."
-Charles B. Newcomb



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