Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: saveme25 (43179)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Long Term Affairs -IX
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 2:09 AM, February 6th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wake up you lot! Newbie in here needing some hugs and advice.

Shammarriage, I donít know where you are geographically, but itís pretty quiet in here until the girls over the pond log on. The morningís started here, but just so you know that someone has read your plea, Iím going to jump in and offer a hand to guide you into this LTA tribe. I can see youíre falling and weíre here to catch you.

Firstly, read the BS FAQ under the healing library. There isnít much you can do while your WH is being so self-centred and not being concerned about the damage he has caused. Itís called being in the fog. Itís a kind of defence mechanism in the hope that while he sticks his fingers in his ears, shuts he eyes and shouts lah,lah very loudly it will all either go away or sort itself out. Which it wonít.

Right now, you have to take care of YOU. Leave him out of the equation for now and try to function on an hour to hour, day to day basis. Doing the 180 will help (BS FAQ) during this period. Breathe.

I donít know what to say except that Iím so sorry to see you here and in such a desperate state. This is not your fault. Do not blame yourself (although we all do). He made a choice that didnít include you. His choice, his decision, his mess.

Iíll look in on you later.

Welcome (((((shammarriage)))))


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 2:35 AM, February 6th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LostH. For goodness sake, you with a weight problem? Donít make me snort with laughter Ė you are one petite and skinny bird!

Prop since DDay has been the comforting and numbing effects of alcohol. Red wine, white wine, spritzers, G&T, Southern Comfort, Budweiser, Becks. Not all in the same evening, but a random selection maybe. Itís a rare day to go without. Maybe we should open a LTA cocktail bar.

Iíve never had to diet in my life. My heaviest was full term with #3 son at 10st 10lb (150lb, 68kg). I get upset and my oesophagus shuts off. I find it easy to not eat, even though Iíve cooked for four growing sons and a rugby playing H. But since DDay and since two of them are in Oz and one works shifts, Iím not interested in cooking. No more big family meals. This, when I reflect, reminds me of the moments when WH was in his A and heíd come home, stand in the doorway watching us eat and say heíd eaten, or he didnít fancy what we were eating, or it was too late to eat. Itís a big rejection, someone turning their back on your meals. Although there was always one DS to polish off seconds!


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 4:09 AM, February 6th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((shammarriage)))

You are sounding quite panicked and anxious, which rightfully so, you should be.

BUT I am going to ask you to find that cold hard place inside you, and go there for a little while. This may be hard to do as your emotions are all over the place, and your H is being a class A Fucktard.

You need to do this for you.
You have been given excellent advice in JFO and Divorce forums from people who have been there and learnt the hard way.
Please pay heed.

Honestly, I dont think you should proceed with the D at this time. Its often been said that lifechanging decisions NOT be made in the immediate aftermath.
HOWEVER, you should put some steps into place to protect you, esp your financial well being, as it appears that he is up to something dodgy there.

The next step is to FOCUS ON YOU. Your H is still in his lalaland, so unfort you cant rely on him for support.
Is there a small group of close friends/family, that you can lean on?
Can you get into IC even for short time, just to tide you over this incredibly brutal time?

DO NOT accept the blame for WH's bad choices. It is not your fault.And he will go on saying some really horrible nasty stuff to you whilst he is in this fog, so please strengthen your heart. I wish I had done that...unfort I let myself believe the crap my H told me then, and that put me in a bad place.
So if he starts sprouting crap, dis-engage and leave. Protect yourself.

I know you want to know why, how, where etc. Those answers will come in time. Since he is not giving them to you now, all you have is what you know already, which is enough to deal with right now. You could start your own investigations if you are so inclined..going through the phonebills, pc, credit card statements etc.

This is not your fault, no matter what he says. Like Katherine said, he is one broken motherfucker.

Breathe, eat, sleep,go for walks, look after yourself. Please. We have all been where you are in some form or the other.

Welcome to our Tribe.

****
Ukgirl, I want to be your skinny. I may not weigh alot but its so effin dis-proportionate, I might as well. All I see are my thighs, stomach, fat ass. Dont even get me started on my face. I will always be the fat girl inside.

****
Reading..thats a vice?!!
BT, my IC also told me I used it as escapism.
I started reading when I was around 5 and never stopped. I would have books all around the house, so theres always one within reach (yes, even in the loo! )

I used to love writing stories and poetry when I was in school. My family always thought that I would go on to publish something, and still remind me about that. The thing is I dont have a story to tell.

Give me a good thriller and some good grub, and I am a happy camper!!

For those who stopped reading after dday, dont worry it will come back. Start off slowly and pick your books v carefully. I now read the blurb properly to make sure theres not triggers in there. You cant go wrong with a serial killer plot.

***
Thank you brave ones for fessing up. The rest of you, "cluck cluck cluuuuck cluck!"


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 5:48 AM, February 6th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shammarriage so sorry we had all gone to bed last night. Sorry to have to welcome you to this place but we are all here to try and give help to others as well as find some ourselves.
Right now you need to take care of yourself like UK said. With a marriage of 26 years, if you stay together or divorce, either way this is not going to be easy. So prepare yourself. But you can do it, whichever way it goes. Can you start with some IC? I think that would be great right now. I wish I had gotten IC from the very beginning. A 9 year LTA...My H's was probably about 8 years on and off. In the beginning I believed it to be 10 years, but after he finally started trying to come clean with me I now believe it to be about 8 years with another shorter one before that that lasted probably 6 months to a year. So we all know what you're feeling right now.

Gotta get ready for work. I'll try and check back in later.

FSA


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 5:54 AM, February 6th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe we should open a LTA cocktail bar

Or rehab center!

Sham, there's nothing you can do with him at this point. You can't make him decide. Everyone's right you need to take care of yourself. First thing is to get yourself to a dr. STD testing, although you might feel is embarrasing, it's necessary. If you want, tell him you're going thta might open an avenue for confession.

Its often been said that lifechanging decisions NOT be made in the immediate aftermath. HOWEVER, you should put some steps into place to protect you, esp your financial well being

absolutely. I know that I went from begging him to stay with me to wanting to kill him on a minute by minute basis for the first 6 months after Dday.

You could start your own investigations if you are so inclined..going through the phonebills, pc, credit card statements etc.

I went through every single piece of paper in the house, years old. Most of us did. Sometimes all they'll admit to is what you can prove, unfortunately.


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 6:52 AM, February 6th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry. I seem to be hogging this page. Can I have a pity party please? All these little itty bits that come out which donít seem all that significant at the time, grow and take up a disproportional amount of importance during the time he was ďgoneĒ in the A. There have been two things in the last couple of weeks. I think I posted a few weeks back about him going to London from certain railway stations? He mentioned the station in her city, slip of the tired tongue. Well, guess what. It actually turned out to be her town. Just a few miles down the road from her. Not really a point to pick on, but it all adds to this stupid, stupid minimising and denying and just fucking pointless lying. Him staying with her, her dropping him off and then collecting him to go back to some stinking shagging-bed for yet more intimacy. I just want to slap his stupid face good and hard right now. And I know he will have stayed with her for his Europe flights, tagging on extra days, so why doesnít he just say? And then, (last week? Monday night? yesterday? I dunno, scrambled head.) it turns out that she DID try to finish it by not seeing or contacting him Ė several times. Just like she told me. He actually had NC for 6-9mths. He had said that SHE was relentless in her pursuit of him and it turns out to be the other way around. She just couldnít resist and he fucking well knew she couldnít. What was he doing? Pulling her along on a piece of string and then dropping her when he felt like it?

Iíve changed over the last month or so. I feel like I just donít care anymore. Like if I can pull away from him enough, I wonít need him. He says he loves me, he says sheís gone forever, but I somehow donít think so. Oh, and did I say that waaaay back in 1989, when DS3 was just months old, he took a job at the same co where OWís F had worked, the town where they used to live, and he looked up her brotherís grave (died in childhood)? Never told me. No wonder I hated it living there, shitty little backwater full of inbreds.

Someone give me a 2x4 and tell me to pull myself up by my bootstraps and stop being so pathetic.

[This message edited by UKgirl at 6:55 AM, February 6th (Wednesday)]


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 7:22 AM, February 6th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

UK - I've just kind of accepted that with the LTA there's so much, way too many details and deceptions to even grasp.

When my H told me he NEVER called her and I found that he'd changed his pager # twice during their affair. I asked him how she managed to contact him if he NEVER called her and gave her the new number.

His response was that he thought he didn't have to explain that..... it should have been obvious he had to have given her the new number.

It took him a year to finally admit he'd locked his truck keys IN the truck before he went away the weekend before DDay suspecting I would tear it apart. He stuck with the lie that he'd left the spare set in the house all that time. And everyone knows I tore that house APART looking for them for 4 days.

Trust your head and your gut. You know what happened. Now can you R knowing it was probably -- no definately -- worse than you were told?


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 7:25 AM, February 6th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No 2x4's Uk.

((((Ukgirl))))

Once we get those huge blocks of info that blast us, its these little bits that drive that knife in deeper.
And its all so stupid, isnt it? If they could just freekin tell the truth from the word go, it would make it a little easier.

You know I told H that it was like amputating my limbs. I would rather he do it quickly and cleanly, but this slow hack here, hack there, move onto another limb, then poke here and rip there....

Sorry Uk. I know what its like.And piecing together your history with all this bits and bobs hurts like crazy.

I am also having a little pity party. So will join you. How about I do the alcohol and you do the food??


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 7:27 AM, February 6th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And now back to me.

I posted about the bad night last night.

Well, I forgot to check the alarms last night before I finally went to bed at 2 AM and one of them was off. We both overslept and he had to rush out this morning, so we didn't get to talk.

I sent him this text a half hour ago

"About last night... I just wanted to be with you. I love you. Can't we figure out something that works for both of us?"
and

"It appears I shut off the second alarm instead of hitting the snooze yesterday, and I forgot to check them last night. I'm sorry. Hope you weren't late for work."

No response. And he always calls me before he heads to his first job of the day.

I'm off to the gym. Not going to obsess about him ALL morning anyway.

Talk to you ladies in a few.

ETA: The phone was ringing as I signed off. What was I thinking? Of course it was MY fault nothing happened, I waited until it was too late... Bastard. He knew I wanted to, I told him at 5 PM. He came in from work "starving" so we ate, then DD came home. HE wanted to watch some stupid show on mummies and then House came on. HE couldn't have said "Hey if you want to do this, let's go, otherwise it'll be to late?"

Fuck him... gym time.

[This message edited by weepy at 7:35 AM, February 6th (Wednesday)]


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 7:47 AM, February 6th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yikes weepy!
This dance you two do...


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 7:59 AM, February 6th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Weepy, you need to 180 this man for your own sanity. You keep trying the same stuff and wanting it to be different. It's not going to be.

Change your tactics. Not to get him to do anything, but because what you are doing makes you feel bad all the time. You have got to step out of your part of this dance.


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 8:06 AM, February 6th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sham - Welcome. I am sorry you find yourself here but this is a place of healing and support. I quickly read your post is JFO so have some idea of your story.

First, your H is still in what we here at SI call the "fog". He is not thinking clearly at all and trying to blame the affair on you and the marriage is called "blameshifting". The affair is not about you AT ALL, it about something that is very broken in HIM and needs to be addressed and fixed by him. However, he cannot fix it while he is still in contact with the other woman. NC is an absolute must for him to move forward.

Secondly, if you suspect at all that he will move assets (which you mentioned in JFO), you need to see a lawyer *yesterday* and do whatever you can to protect yourself and your children. Do not underestimate how critical this is. This does not mean D necessarily just defining all marital assets and assuring that none of them can be touched, etc.

Third, you must find the OW H and tell him about the affair. The quickest way to end an affair permanently is to expose it to the light of day. Everybody looks a little different when the veil of fantasy is removed. Call him at his work and tell him you need to meet him/talk to him. Take any proof you have of the affair. Write down what you want to say so you aren't too emotional. Present the facts.

Finally, please take the time to read what this very wise BS wrote last week. Here is the post in general....follow her advice as this is from someone who has lived through this and learned how *not* to do it.

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=161389

(((Sham)))

ETA: you are are experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder right now. Taking care of yourself is critical. You must try to eat something, try to sleep. Read in the healing library. Ask us what books will help. Lean on us.

[This message edited by hurtshirley at 8:09 AM, February 6th (Wednesday)]


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 8:12 AM, February 6th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am doing my story for the book and it hit me now.
He has always been like this.alwyas . why the fuck was I so blind?

everythime he screwed up righ from the very begining, I would get upset withdraw, he would give up something personal of himself, I would be delighted thinkiing he was changing, that this time it would be diff. Then we would get back toegther, and he would go back to who he was.

He DID show me. He DID.
I just didnt see. Over and over again.
I cant use that excuse anymore. He DID show me.


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 8:16 AM, February 6th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Weepy - please do not take this the wrong way. But as I read more and more about your H's behavior around sex what I am beginning to believe is that this has absolutely nothing to do with sex. This is a power play. This is his way of being in control over you.

How do I know? I now know that I was doing the same thing to my H. Even before I knew about the affairs, I resenting the way he treated me with disrespect. I resented him staying out and not calling. I resented carrying the burden of the family, the home and, for a large part of our marriage, the financial support of the family. The only area that I knew I could control is denying him sex. As you all know from his profile, he may be borderline SA, so this was both a physical and emotional slap in the face for him. It has been very hard for me to admit to myself that I was doing this. I know it was not all the time. There were a lot of times that I was just dog tired after working in a very stressful environment all day, coming home to a bitchy nanny, getting the kids to bed whom I hadn't seen all day, and no H around to even give me a hug. But other times, it was "no" just because I had the power to say "no". Guess that didn't work out so well for me.

Anyway, what I am trying to say is that I believe that he is slapping you in the face with this. He is trying to gain power, the upper hand, etc. Please don't get mad at me bringing this up but I really think you need to think about it this way.

(((weepy)))


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 8:21 AM, February 6th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Okay, I can tell we are gonna be busy today.

(((Lost))) you were 19 for Christ's sake!! It is easy now to look back with the advantage of 20/20 hindsight and say "he was always like this why didn't I see it". You didn't see it because you were a KID when you met him and fell in love. You are now a much wiser, mature woman with the truth in her hands. Those are two very different perspectives from which to view your H and your relationship. Do not come down on yourself over this. THEY made the mistakes. THEY were broken. THEY lied to us. We loved them. I was 18 when I met my H so I know where from I speak.

(((Lost)))


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
OneToughCowgirl
♀ Member
Member # 14817
Default  Posted: 8:29 AM, February 6th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Shammarriage))))) So sorry to welcome you here to our little tribe. It sounds as if the magnitude of the LTA is settling in. We all remember those days and believe us when we say they will pass, even if you feel they won't they do. There are a few in here whose H's were in the fog for quite some time and are now in reconciliation. It is possible to rebuild your M. It's a long, hard road. I am well into R and we are doing very well. Of course my heart still hurts and I still struggle at times with some things, but after two years I am OK. I agree with LostH - please hold off on making final and legal decisions. You are in very early days and your H's reaction to all this is fitting to the LTA. Many of our H's have doled out the information bit by bit. They have spent so many years lying and compartmentalizing those lies that when it all gets mixed together (i.e. you finding out) they freak out. Then they don't know how much to say or what to say without making things worse or making everything explode. I'm not making excuses for him. He's acting like a shithead - but most likely he has completely lost touch with HOW to tell the truth. He has lied to everyone and mostly to himself for a very long time and lying has become a way of life. It takes time for them to find their way back. Most likely you will never know it all and the day will come that you will be thankful for this. At a certain point it becomes useless information. Hold on Sham and hang out here. There's lots of wisdom. Read our back posts and you'll see many things that will begin to inform you. ((((Shammarriage)))) We all understand.
*****************************

I used to love writing stories and poetry when I was in school. My family always thought that I would go on to publish something, and still remind me about that. The thing is I dont have a story to tell.
OK Lost - I have a proposal for you. How about writing stories where the OW gets it. You know, stories where the murder is no mystery. Stories where the audience is glad to see her go. You could take out each and every one of the OW's in our sitch's and write a story for each of them. Those are books I'd read!!! Anyone have any ideas about possible titles for Lost's books? Mine could be "Take THIS Turkey(neck)"

[This message edited by OneToughCowgirl at 8:34 AM, February 6th (Wednesday)]


M 20 years / together 25 yrs
6 yr LTA
Me 47
FWH 48
D-Day Jan. 2006
We're good and getting better every day!

Posts: 607 | Registered: May 2007 | From: Chicago
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 8:31 AM, February 6th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks Shirley. I feel like such a crybaby.
The thing is people did tell me that H was no good but noone could point out why. My BF told me from the onset that there is something weird about him, and over time, she kept saying that. His OWN friends told me that he didnt deserve me. I just thought that nobody knew the REAL him..only me. That they couldnt see what I could see..the caring, sensitive, tender loving side.
(of course I was comparing him to the only man in my life, my F, who would have made Jack the ripper appear caring and kind)

The ugly truth is that I was the one who didnt the real him. I was the one who got to see FAKE him in all his glory.

Yes I was 19, but dammit I was 23 when we married. I thought I was so darn smart and sensible and together.I still wasnt listening to anyone.

Same BF told me to end the M after dday1. Same one told me that I was off my rocker after dday#2.

Sometimes the truth just plain hurts.So bloody stupid and naive. Thought I could avoid my parents M, and ended making all their mistakes.

i am ok now. Just this blinding flashes get me on my knees sometimes. a very humbling sxperience.


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 8:32 AM, February 6th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Take THIS Turkey(neck)"


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 8:35 AM, February 6th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Thanks OTC. You made me laugh despite myself.

Titles...mmm
Sorry all I gt is
Reservoir Ho's.
Murder on the Cheating Express


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 8:37 AM, February 6th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You have got to step out of your part of this dance

Guess I look at it like we're just not doing the same dance and I'm trying to figure out the steps to his.

You're right, all of you are of course. The minute I back away, he's at me OR he's backing away himself because he thinks it's the end and he can't allow himself to get hurt.

So what am I supposed to do? Yeah, I went without for 10 years, but I hated it and resented him and was angry all the time. Why can't I get what I want some of the time? I'm not asking for always!

When we were in a pattern that seemed to suit us both, things were better. When we get off like this, it screws everything up.

LH, please. I was 20 when I met H and married him at 25. I knew he was like that all along too. But my love was gonna fix that! Idealism, optimism, confidence... all belong to the young. I see it every day when my kids thinkg "nothing bad is going to happen to them." like when I warn them about being in the city after dark...


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
Topic Posts: 1000
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40 · 41 · 42 · 43 · 44 · 45 · 46 · 47 · 48 · 49 · 50

Return to Forum: I Can Relate This Topic is Full
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.