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User Topic: Long Term Affairs -IX
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 4:19 PM, February 29th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He asked me today whether I dont think we are both wasting our times, that he doesnt want to be listening to the same stories 5 year or 10 years from now. And that he cant believe that I am stillstruggling with more or less, the same issues.

HE said that at some point soon, I am going to have to make the decision to let it go (the A), trust him and move on. Cos he just cant live like this (no trust,me always paranoid, him not being able to tell me anything cos I get so upset, etc)much longer.

Been there, done that. I keep telling him that he better not say a thing until I've had as much time to recover as he's had to cheat. So I've got what 5 or so more years...

What am I doing wrong? WTF am I doing wrong?

Nothing except expecting him to behave in a certain way. And it frustrates you. I know I'm guilty of this too. My first IC kept saying I needed to lower my expectations and I got pissed. WHY? Why do I have to lower the bar for him? He needs to step up and exceed expectations!

This IC is giving me the same message in a different language. You know the fiasco I had on Vday. But she reminded me about how when I had the really bad day, how he stepped up and did the exact right thing. She said "That was your Valentines' Day." He can't do what I expect him to do. He can't. He never did talk, deal with negative emotions, handle critism. Why do I expect him to now? He hasn't changed THAT much yet.

So it's me who has to change. And it's been a slow process. And I'll fail now and again and he'll have to deal with it or leave.

LH, He's not going to leave. And he will take what you have to dish out for as long as you need to (if they are as alike as I think). He just has no clue about the depth of your emotional response because he has none.


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 4:37 PM, February 29th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He just has no clue about the depth of your emotional response because he has none.

How true Weepy.
You guys must be so frustrated with me, as it seems every few months (weeks?) I go through the same stuff.

I know I shouldnt have expectations, but the nerve of this man, to threaten me (yes, it did seem like a threat)after all the crap he pulled.

I dont know. Sometimes I wish we had just split up after dday2.


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 4:40 PM, February 29th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Before I log off, I just wanted to say to Weepy:

Congratulations on your DD's graduation. She came through! First grad in the family..yay!!!

So how are you 2 going to celebrate this weekend?

Goodnight all.Thank you for holding my hand.


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
runoverbytruck
♀ Member
Member # 11752
Default  Posted: 6:14 PM, February 29th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HE said that at some point soon, I am going to have to make the decision to let it go (the A), trust him and move on. Cos he just cant live like this (no trust,me always paranoid, him not being able to tell me anything cos I get so upset, etc)much longer.

I read here how some of your H tell you to take all the time you need to heal, that they would do anything and everything to help rebuild and do, how they will wait as long as it takes, how fortunate and blessed they are to have another chance...and I cant help comparing. What am I doing wrong? WTF am I doing wrong?

Lost, my H does tell me he knows it's going to take a long time. He tells me how grateful he is that I'm still here. (Am I really here??? Oh, another topic, I guess. )

But a couple of times, he did tell me that I was going to have to decide whether or not I was going to do this. I needed to commit to it one way or the other and move forward with that decision. He didn't actually say the word "SOON", but it was implied that sooner rather than later would be better.

I did hear him and I stopped talking about divorce or leaving the marriage (as often).

There is A LOT of baggage to unpack and sort through, and if your H is tired of hearing it and doesn't want to live this way, boo-fucking-hoo. You didn't choose this--you didn't choose to hurt like this. You do have to move--somewhat steady--even if it's one step forward, two steps back--and I think you ARE moving. He can't rush you though. Not only that, what is HE changing? How is HE sorting through the bags with you? He can't just fuck up and hand you the mess and say, "You better have this all cleaned up SOON." That's unrealistic. And if he thinks his comments are going to motivate you, he's sadly mistaken. It does nothing but make you trust him even less that he will be there for you when you need him.

(((((((((((((((Lost))))))))))))))

Shirley, try and enjoy your weekend.

fnf, good to "see" you.


LTA BS

If you think the grass is greener on the other side, it's because it's fertilized with bullshit.

The best protection a woman can have is courage.~Elizabeth Cady Stanton


Posts: 6814 | Registered: Aug 2006
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 8:46 PM, February 29th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HE said that at some point soon, I am going to have to make the decision to let it go (the A), trust him and move on. Cos he just cant live like this (no trust,me always paranoid, him not being able to tell me anything cos I get so upset, etc)much longer.

LostHeart - I am so sorry your H is being such a callous ass. I am sitting here utterly shocked and furious at the same time. Again, I hate to keep singing the praises of our MC (can't help it though because he is so damn good)but once, when my H sounded like yours in a session, our MC looked directly at my H and said, Tell us now, do you want out because if you do, you shouldn't waste anymore of FNF's time. My H looked totally shocked to have this said to him so emphatically. He more or less recoiled and said that no, he didn't want out and that yes, he was willing to do whatever it took to heal our M and me. It made such a difference and helped my H make the commitment to work on the M.
I have also said to my H several times myself when he sounded like this, If you want out, then go, because you're not doing either of us any good by staying if it's not what you want. Now, you have to be ready to say this and mean it, but I was serious because I didn't want him thinking he was doing me a favor by staying.
I think they try to convince us and themselves that we are the ones who should be pleading with them to stay. I can only say in reply, FUCK THEM! Get on your F---ing knees and start begging and maybe then I'll be willing to make a few compromises on behalf of our M. I have always let my H know that he had better be the one to be making the efforts first.
Your H sounds like the bully who senses fear and takes advantage. Share your fears with us but try as best as you can to conceal your fears in front of him.
No doubt he's frustrated because he wishes you could just forgive and forget - like any of us could. Well too bad for him. WTF did he expect?
((((((((LH))))))))
ETA - sorry for the language but Lost you are such a great person and I am so damn furious with your H for making you feel this way. I wish I was back in London because I would love to give you a shoulder to cry on and a comforting hug IRL.

[This message edited by forgivenotforget at 8:50 PM, February 29th (Friday)]


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
clarabell
Member
Member # 14338
Default  Posted: 3:36 AM, March 1st (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Want to share something positive in our R. H and I are in the homebuilding business, and financially things have been very difficult with the housing turndown. We owe millions of dollars and have struggled to make the payments. During the A, H limited my involvement in the company. I functioned in the sales area, which conveniently during the affair kept me working on Sat and Sun. But he didn't want me involved with anything else.

Since D Day, he has opened up about the business, and in fact complained I wasn't doing enough to help him! (Like filing) Quite a shift from someone who didn't even want me to look at the books. Anyway we have been working together really well since D Day.

But our R didn't help with the finances of the company, and we were facing bankrupcy with the business.

I called a girlfriend of mine, who was with us when the Whore called me to tell me about the A on our anniversary. I was lamenting our eminient doom and how challenging recovery was while facing the loss of our assets. She asked me to send her the broad brush strokes of the company.

Anyway, she presented the deal to her family and they have decided to buy into our company as a partner. It essentially guarantees our survival as long as I can sell a house or two in the next two years. Like no one invests in real estate right now, and she is sending us millions of $$$.

When I initially told H about the prospect, he poo pooed it saying it would never happen, and be prepared to lose all the assets we have spent years building. Well, the legal work was finished yesterday, and the wire transfer is coming in on Monday.

My friends were concerned that H never thanked me for pulling this rabbit out of a hat. It is not too easy to find an investor in a residential real estate project now.

Last night, H told me how proud he was of me and how much I had done for us. And that he wanted me to know that "us" was everything to him in his life. I started crying with joy.

He ended saying he thought we should hire a part timer to do the filing, since I had better things to do with my time!


Posts: 69 | Registered: Apr 2007
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 3:50 AM, March 1st (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks you you guys. Again and again. You all keep me sane.

Fnf, about showing fear to H, my IC told me the exact same thing. She said dont share anything with him about my fears or worries. He doesnt know how to handle it and just uses it against me, brings me to my kness and then sits there furious because I am "so weak".

Run, I hear what you are saying too. Its not that I talk about D that annoys him. He expects me to be further along the process than I am. He says he can see that I havent moved much as it is the same issues that I bring up, re. trusting him, his behaviour with other women, etc.

HE is right. I dont trust him. I do worry how he behaves with other women. All I have is what he tells me, and he is a known proven liar.
I just dont have anyone IRL to talk to.I should go back to how I was before. Just shut up and not let him in. Put on my bland face and carry on like normal. I keep kicking myself for expecting different when I should know better by now.
What kind of a M this makes, I dont know.

****
Clarabell, thats wonderful news! You saved the family's future. Well done.

****
Have a good weekend everyone.


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 4:51 AM, March 1st (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi LostH. You still on a downer?

He’s bored with it b/c he doesn’t understand. He’s dealt with it and thinks you should. But there is no timetable for this, only a sense of time passing and phases of recovery being moved into, through and on. The longer the deceit, the longer the recovery and you have had a lifetime of it. He needs to be working harder on his issues and on you, imho. Please try to find someone IRL you can vent/moan/cry with. It might prevent some of your “on the floor” moments in front of your H. Walling it up inside is not a good idea, but I think you know that. I’ll be ringing 4xM friend this morning and I know she’ll ask for the latest and she always says to let her know if I need to get away for a few days. Having a couple of supportive friends IRL has been essential for me. Heck, a couple of days after DDay, I wanted to take a sheet, paint in big red letters “an adulterous b*stard lives here” and hang it out the window before getting in my car and driving off. I wanted THE WORLD to know what a sh*t he had been. But, of course, my common sense and rational came into play.

I have also been brought up not to whinge and whine on, so I have found all of this very difficult esp as I am a “just get on with it” person. I can cope during a crisis or emergency and have delayed reaction when it’s over. And if there’s a problem going on, I look to the end result I want to achieve and then I work out how I’m going to get there. Unfortunately, I can’t apply any of this to a LTA recovery programme.

And it looks like I’ll have to come down and take you shopping!

Clarabell – Not only was the whore left in the gutter, but you have managed to put together a rescue package for the business. Clever girl!

FSA, I wish I could offer some advice, I hope the sun is going to come out for you soon. I’m sending you some warm healing vibes. (((((FSA)))))

Weepy – congrats on your DD’s graduation. It’s a lovely feeling, isn’t it? Porn viewing. Just plain boring imo. No storyline, no true affection, bad acting (if you could call it that) the scenes are always the same and we know what’s going to happen in then end before the dvd’s in the driver. I’m pretty sure my H is not into that, likewise lapdancing clubs, prostitutes, corporate “entertainment”. Strange really. Somehow what he was doing with OW was acceptable, but going ahead to pay for the same thing was not. Warped sense of morals. Oh, I forgot, he was in love, wasn’t he. THAT made the difference.

Shirley – anger phase. Me, only just arrived there. Looks like your ahead of me already, I’ve got some work to do. Thumping the sh*t out of FWH should help.

Steelergal. Wedding anniversaries, what to do eh? (shaking head slowly) I booked to go away before H had even registered the date. The day I went, he said he thought I was “making a point”. No, just don’t want to be with you, thanks. That date is no longer marked on the calendar. That M is over. My parents have their diamond wedding bash in Sept. My Dad said he hoped I didn’t mind that they were hijacking our anniversary w/end. I said it was fine, 28yrs was nothing special anyhow. Since I don’t feel married, it really is okay.
*****
Yesterday I came home with “Why women talk and men walk” by Patricia Love (yes, really) and Steven Stosny. It’ll do while I’m waiting for The Case Against Divorce (or whatever it was called). I’ll let you know if I ever get to the end of it. Phew.

[This message edited by UKgirl at 5:14 AM, March 1st (Saturday)]


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 6:30 AM, March 1st (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Clarabelle -

LH, like fnf said - Your H is a bully too. It's their way of pushing everything negative away. I see it in my H the way he deals with our son too. I've always got after him about that and now he DOES realize that he's probably f'd up the only relationship that might have actually worked. The only one in our family that was his friend.

shirley, I remember one story of a BS who took all her glasses and broke them in the shower during her anger phase. They made a lovely noise and then she got to go shopping to replace them. Bonus!

I am going to have to make the decision to let it go (the A), trust him and move on.

All of us have to make that leap at some point. Whether it's with them or without them. Otherwise we'll be stuck in the past eating our hearts out over something that we couldn't control, something totally out of our responsibility. WE have to let go of our shame, our burden, FOR US. I'm not talking about forgiveness, I'm talking about not letting his actions define who we are -- an angry, sad, depressed, confused, lost, unhinged person. We aren't anything like that.

Yesteday I came home from the library with an autobiography by Alan Alda, his first one. With H gone I have the perfect opportunity to tear apart the house and dig for anything i might have missed. To dwell in the infidelitiy pool and read Steering Clear or The Dance of Anger. Fuck that. I'm on holiday too.

DD and I had our last hurrah before dieting binge last night while watching a movie and just talking together. The only contact I had with H was to text him at 11 and say "goodnight". And because he's in a no cell zone, he won't even get that message until he ventures out into the town today -- about a 10 mile drive.

Strange really. Somehow what he was doing with OW was acceptable, but going ahead to pay for the same thing was not.

UK, it's part of the shame that my H gets to cart around. He felt doing is GF was more "acceptable" than the prostitutes, strippers, etc. It was one level of shame he no longer had to carry around (in his demented state). In one of his "stupid moments" (thanks BT I use this all the time now) he actually said to me "I never in my life had to pay for it before." Like I drove him to it. I've heard that from a bunch of male BS and WS here. That prostitution (not escorts, because they are even a "better" choice ) is a real low. Losers and perverts and desperate men. I think H falls into the last category.


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 10:08 AM, March 1st (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Quiet here today. Where is everyone?

In one of his "stupid moments"

Can a “stupid moment” last five years?

The other night, once again he said it was a “mistake”. I told him it wasn’t. It was NOT a mistake and stop calling it that. It. Was. Not. You don’t make a mistake that lasts for five years. You fucking don’t. And he did all the pursuing and seducing, he was the one who wouldn’t/couldn’t call a halt to it and kept rekindling the flame. It was the exact opp to a “mistake”. The mistake was me having to know.

Last night it was about me not wearing any jewellery he has bought me. Oh, for chrissake. Not that one again. He just doesn’t get it.

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day (Mothering Sunday). He has booked a table for 3 of us at lunchtime. DS#1 & DS#2 are in Australia still, they have a diff date for it over there, DS#3 will be working, so that leaves H, me and DS#4. I can’t do celebration days anymore. Days just merge one into the next, without significance, without colour, without vitality or vibrancy. I don’t mean to sound harsh or ungrateful, but those sorts of days just hurt and I can do without being more crushed and flattened.

edited for stupid grammar errors!

[This message edited by UKgirl at 10:12 AM, March 1st (Saturday)]


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 10:22 AM, March 1st (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ah, mother's day... hate it now.

For years my H would say "You're not my mother" for the reason he never bought me flowers or a card of appreciation. He never even took the kids out and had them shop for me. I got whatever the nursery or kindergarten was making for thier mothers. It bothered me, but because I "knew" he loved me and appreciated me, I let it go.

Fast forward to MD May 2006 -- I know now -- H does NOTHING even after telling me that for those years he "loved" me only as the mother of his children. Not even a "Happy Mothers Day". He can't even give me THAT? On top of it he makes SURE to tell every mother he sees that day "Happy Mothers Day" just to annoy me. DD has nothing for me... she has a damn excuse about no time, she "forgot" blah blah. DS makes me a card that is wonderful and he always for a combo MD and Bday gift does my flower beds, goes with me to the nursery and buys my mulch or flowers. He's done it every year since he was 15 and had his first income. I am furious that my H did the "you're not my mother" thing again that day. That he couldn't even make sure our kids had something for me. I made sure HIS mother had something. And to make matters worse, it's always the day we have to move our D off campus, empty her dorm room. And she's NEVER ready.

MD 2007 was a little better My DD managed to actually buy a gift. He wished me Happy Mothers Day. But the day was spent moving my DD off campus again.

I've decided I'm not even going to mention it this year. I'm not going to remind anyone of H's birthday, my birthday, anniversary or anything. Those days are just "loaded". Better to avoid them all together.


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 10:37 AM, March 1st (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

fnf, good to "see" you

Thanks Run. It's good to be back. It was a crazy week, good week but crazy and it was tough to check in. I just wish for those who are having a tough time that there was something more we could do to give them the hope and belief that they will survive this. I remember those days and they are awful, tragic and discouraging. But I am in a better place now after 2 years and Weepy sounds like she's in a better place too so if this can bring hope to others then I'm glad.
BTW, Weepy, congrats on your DD's graduation. That is one of the best moments as a parent watching your child accept her college diploma.
LostHeart - I hope you're feeling better today and getting yourself ready for your first day back to work. We will all miss you but I'm betting you'll be checking in on us. Good luck. You're going to be a huge success, I just know it!
UKgirl, maybe if you just think of tomorrow as another day where you don't have to prepare a meal and just enjoy this time with your DD you can have a nice afternoon with no triggers. Anytime I don't have to cook is a good day for me. Happy Mum's Day to all our British sisters!
Have a great weekend everyone.


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 10:43 AM, March 1st (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For years my H would say "You're not my mother

That is exactly what my H said to me during his A. How strange! I remember being hurt and one of my friends asked what he had given me. When I told my H about my friend's conversation, that was his reply. You know, when you think of all the issues our H's have with their mothers, it's almost as if they project their anger at their mom's onto us and what better day to do that than Mother's Day.
Did you do anything on Father's Day for him then? I used to plan a picnic every year for him. This year we'll be at the shore. Can't think of a place I'd rather be.

[This message edited by forgivenotforget at 10:45 AM, March 1st (Saturday)]


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 11:03 AM, March 1st (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

H bought me a “thank you for everything on mother’s day” Hallmark-type card a couple of years ago. He chose it carefully and had read all the words before giving it to me. It included something about “you mean everything to me and I don’t thank you enough for all the little things you do blah, blah, blah” At the end he wrote ILY. He never used to buy me MDay cards b/c I said they were supposed to come from the children. It was an odd experience and I should have gone RED FLAG, ah, the benefit of hindsight.

I didn’t buy a card for his mum this year, although I always have before. And I always wrote both our names in both mums’ cards. I noticed his card was just from him. Shows how often he writes cards. It’s his mum’s b’day later this month. Down to him for that one too. I’m done with being Mrs Remembereverything.

FNF, I don’t cook anymore anyway! I’m so done with that too!


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 11:05 AM, March 1st (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Last night, H told me how proud he was of me and how much I had done for us. And that he wanted me to know that "us" was everything to him in his life.
Thanks Clarabell for sharing your good news. We surely do need this encouragement.

Weepy – Belated Congrats on your DD’s graduation.


Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 11:15 AM, March 1st (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Did you do anything on Father's Day for him then?

Of course I did. Always made sure there were gifts from "the kids", a card from me. Special dinner. He got to lay around and boss us around all day.

I was so pissed after MD that I didn't want to get him a FD card, figured I'd just ignore it like he'd ignored MD. But then I bought a card with two little kids on the front. Inside it said... because you're my dad. I changed it to "because you're THEIR dad" and just signed it.

His Bday is coming up and about a month ago I saw a jacket I knew he'd like so I bought it and gave it to him as an early Bday present. He said "well, that won't be any fun if I can't open a gift." So I told him I'd wrap it back up.

Seriously I have no idea what to get him.


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 11:22 AM, March 1st (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Seriously I have no idea what to get him.

- Collar and leash.
- Tracking device in his new jacket.
- Chastity belt.
- Identity chip in his neck
- Tattoo “no trespassing”

I could come up with some more …


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 12:07 PM, March 1st (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah I was thinking of a homemade tattoo "you know where" that when fully extended says

"Property of Weepy. Step away from the 'privates' "

They're wonderful suggestions UK, but I know he's not doing anything... he was the one who suggested activating the GPS devices in our phones.


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
marigold
♀ Member
Member # 6707
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, March 1st (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi all. Stopping by to chat in front the of the fire, sip tea and watch the tide go out. I guess I must be far from my midwestern home. Sure sounds nice. I guess I do get to feeling really isolated sometimes. Something about that image of watching the tide go out is very nice. Thanks for the support.

I think the three year anniversary is getting to me because I think that if I still hurt after this much time, I may always hurt.

Well the bad days are much further apart than they used to be, but when they come, yikes, they seem almost as bad as right after d-day. Is this normal?

Have to go drive DS around town now. I'll stop by later to enjoy the ocean view some more. :)


Posts: 960 | Registered: Mar 2005
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 12:24 PM, March 1st (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Forgot in the previous msg: Happy Mothering Day to our UK gals!

I've caught up on our posts. Trying to stay 'up' while FWH is away for the next 10 days. I need to: get out of the house... Go to gym for a weigh-in (gained 1/2 lb last time ARRGH)... Make a new friend IRL (not sure how?)... get back some self-esteem... and on and on.

I don't even want to think of upcoming 'celebration' days except that I'll be spending Easter with my sister and her family. Haven't done this for several yrs with her on W.coast & me on the prairies. M Day, F Day, Anniversary, BDays, etc. are all tainted now. 2007 was heart-rending. I can only hope '08 will bring less pain... for me and the LTA tribe.


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