Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Depressed4ever (43230)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Long Term Affaris - X
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 11:20 AM, March 9th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

UKG & MIG - are you two ok? I am so concerned for you both. UKG - why couldn't he tell you right then and there? It's an awful thing to be told "we have to talk" and then be left with too much time to wonder what that means exactly. We'll be here if you need us.
MIG - sometimes those rages are so awful - I've certainly been there - but perhaps him seeing you like this has brought about his need to come clean and at least you'll know the worst of it. This sounds like a very bad weekend for you both and I can only hope that you know how much care and support you'll get here. I'll be out for a few hours but I'm hoping others will be stopping by to give support and hugs. I will check in with you when I get back home.
Welcome to SS & RC - you will find us to be a very chatty and supportive group but then you must know that since you've been reading a while. Hugs to you both as you begin your recovery.


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 11:50 AM, March 9th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

MIG and UK,

I just want to let you all know that you will not always feel this way. Hearing that from other people is what kept me going when it was really bad, so believe me when I tell you the same.

Before d-day, I could never understand how people could seriously consider suicide. But I did in one of those terrible moments after learning the truth. Actually in more than one. And, like you, I prayed often for death.

Three years later, I am happier than I remember being since college. It took a lot of work on both our parts, a lot of energy, but most important a fierce determination to make a better life, to not let all this suffering be in vain.

For me, it all started with learning the truth. No matter how hard it is to hear, I urge you all to do your best to listen quietly to whatever it is he is going to tell you. Bite your tongue if you have to -- I did -- but keep still long enough to hear the truth. The real healing starts from there.

And remember, nothing he can say will change anything essential about you. It may change what you believe about him, but you, the strong, essential women that you are, will survive no matter what. Once you learn that you can survive, then you can working on learning to thrive.

Sending strength and prayers to both of you.

BT

[This message edited by BorrowTrouble at 11:54 AM, March 9th (Sunday)]


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
hurtbuthappy
♀ Member
Member # 14539
Default  Posted: 1:10 PM, March 9th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Morning to everyone and especially the newbies!! Keep reading and posting, it helps to have people here who understand and we all have so much in common sometimes its eerie.

LostH - thanks for your posts. I have updated my profile to hopefully explain the NC issue.

I really don't know how long I can take this. I know he has to establish NC and I have to give the consequences if he doesn't. Thought we had that and he claims they are NC and of course I am hearing every excuse in the book. She is the one who keeps calling, etc. Even MC does not know what to think. MC tells me not to make any quick decisions and he can see that I have been doing alot of thinking/searching. I am not the person I was on DDay1 and I have found I am much stronger than I thought I was. But is this the end for me? I don't know yet. I guess I need to see how H responds.

For those of you who have had a H who had problems getting to 100% NC - how do you know when they are? So many say they KNOW WS is NC - How???? I don't think I will ever KNOW for sure and I don't know if I can live with the constant doubts.


M-25 years
2 kids

Posts: 131 | Registered: May 2007
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 3:20 PM, March 9th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I bet itís about the list.

Nothing yet. We were in the pub at lunch time. We know everyone there and it's not private enough. And they were asking about DS1&2 in australia. Wait and see, i guess.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 5:30 PM, March 9th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry I haven't been on but I am in a dark place and felt better not inflicting it on all of you who are struggling.

UKgirl - I am hoping and praying that whatever he has to tell you is at least the complete and final truth. I got another tidbit today (just a liplock fest w/ another W years and years ago.) Interesting it didn't bother me in the least as it fell completely in his pattern. Just another grope and go. What a fucktard.

MIG - I too have been raging. Maybe it is the moon cycle. Last night I told my H over and over all the reasons that I hate him. I never in our 27 years together ever used the word hate against him before. Never felt it before. Now it Hate and Disgust are my two predominant feelings towards him. I think it is just all the bad shit coming out.

LovinLife - sorry I missed all your posting. Great jog diving in.

SS - Welcome. Sorry you find yourself here but it is the best support group you can possibly imagine.

GTMI - congrats on becoming a grandmother. What a wonderful gift life is.


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 5:34 PM, March 9th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

just want to let you all know that you will not always feel this way. Hearing that from other people is what kept me going when it was really bad, so believe me when I tell you the same.

Before d-day, I could never understand how people could seriously consider suicide. But I did in one of those terrible moments after learning the truth. Actually in more than one. And, like you, I prayed often for death.

BT- think I am hitting bottom (god please let this be bottom because I don't think I can handle anything lower). I hate him. I hate him. He disgusts me. I don't care if he is remorseful his violation was complete.

I am sensitive to all sounds. My youngest dropped something down a flight of stairs today (we have hardwood floors). I went running thinking it was her and collapsed in a pile of tears to see it was a laundry basket. I felt so bad as she started crying when she saw me crying.

I want to hang on to the life I have/had for myself (yes for me) and for the kids. But I can't stand to be around him. No HBing here - avoiding his touch is more like it.

Please, tell me this, too will pass...


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
hearbroken
Member
Member # 8317
Default  Posted: 8:01 PM, March 9th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HS,

Please, tell me this, too will pass...

Yes, my friend, it will... For me it took me hitting the 2 year mark before I even felt like true healing had started. I know everyone is different, but this is how it was for me. The sensitivity to sounds you describe... that was me, too. IMHO that is the anxiety that came with the aftermath of dday. Wishing God would just take me.... had that, too. And lastly, feeling disgusted by FWH. Oh yeah. Hear you loud and clear on that one. I could not even bring myself to respond to his ILYs for the first six months or more after dday. He'd say it and I was silent. OR if I was having a raging anger day, I'd retort with "If you loved you wouldn't have screwed around on me for 4 years!"...

SO, I tell you this not to be discouraged. But also, like BT said, to give you hope. Because honestly, at 2 1/2 years out I don't have that anxiety, I can tell my H that I love him and mean it, and most of the time I am happy to be alive. It WILL get better. But there is no magic potion to take it all away. Grief is a process and you have to face it head-on one day at a time.

HUGS,
HB


Dday1 8/05 (LTA)
Dday2 4/09 (online EA 2 weeks then confessed)
Dday 3 8/10 ("full disclosure" of more infidelity prior to 2009)

Posts: 869 | Registered: Sep 2005
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 8:14 PM, March 9th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Poked my head in and find that there is suffering. Darn!!!!

HS, yes it's gonna pass. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but sooner or later it has to. Just think about it. We can't stay like this forever.

I too have often longed for death. I have had way too many visuals of suicide. But I'm still plugging.

No thanks to my H. He still can't quite get it. I'm upset with him, but then what's new. Another one of the lie power struggles. But I'm beginning to understand that if he can let me suffer and be upset days at a time b/c of one of his lies, then he really doesn't care about me like he claims to. But I have had an awakening moment. HE IS THE ONE THAT NEEDS HELP, NOT ME. If it were not for his F'd up ways then I would be fine. HE NEEDS SERIOUS COUNCELING!!! But guess who has an appt Tues. ME. But I'm ready to stand back and watch to see if he has what it takes to hang on to the best woman he ever had in his life. My work is almost finished. And if this M is to survive, he needs to get busy working toward that. And ILY's everyday aint gonna get it.
O.K. stepping down off of my soap box.

LovinLife & SS Welcome Sorry to find you here though.

Better go. Thinking of All!!!!

FSA


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
heftysmurf
♂ Member
Member # 17080
Default  Posted: 8:20 PM, March 9th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HS - Big hugs. I think I am close to where you are.

I sometimes wonder how our WS could do this to us. The length and level has done something to me. It has caused a psychic break in which I question my entire marriage. I cannot tell real from lies. I struggle mightily with this.

I also feel pretty stupid in a lot of ways and way too trusting.

How can they do this and smile and lie and say they love us???

(((LTA Tribe))) The club no one want to join.


BH-Me- 34 WW-Her- 29
D-Day- 11-04-07
M 6 years Together 12 years
2 YR DD WOW I love her!
LTA 6 YEARS - stolen time
Limbo. Praying for DD and our M.
In ridiculous pain. Amazed I can stand.

Posts: 471 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: New York
runoverbytruck
♀ Member
Member # 11752
Default  Posted: 12:17 AM, March 10th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Welcome newbies.

Shirley, we've been there. Just be good to yourself. The sounds were very tough for me too. They were really hard for me to handle--for a really loooong time. Seriously. I finally taped cotton balls to the inside door frame of my teenager's bedroom door because she opened and closed it all the time when she went in and out, and I nearly came out of my skin every.single.time. For what seemed like FOREVER. It does get better. (Note: It does come back from time to time at weak moments.)

Like HB, I also couldn't respond to the ILY's. I would just sit there--say nothing back. And I was also disgusted by him. Sadly, I told him so. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand how he looked or what he represented. I couldn't stand that he "caught" something from the disgusting pig whore, and now he was just like her. I looked him up and down like he was vile because he really did absolutely disgust me.

But it's not like that now. Yes, I do have "bouts" of disgust, but not like I did. You're just going to have to let yourself feel it, because the only way through it is through it. And time will be your friend, Shirley--however it turns out.

And those of you who are having thoughts of dying...you will not always feel this sad. Like BT, I never understood why people would want to kill themselves...until this. Time also helps with this, but so do ADs. If you need them--get them. If you are already ON them--get them changed. You will feel better. Make it important that you do feel better, because I know how easy it is to just continue on with how it is.

Also, as the wise ones continue to tell me, we need to focus on ourselves instead of our marriages. We must start looking at ourselves as our most important project--our priority. Not our marriages and not our Hs. We can't fix them, understand them OR understand what they did; we can't make them better, or make them faithful. The best we can do is take care of ourselves. And until we start doing that, I think we will continue to be where we are.

One of my favorite sayings is:

"Unless you move, the place where you are is the place you will always be."

Change where you are.


LTA BS

If you think the grass is greener on the other side, it's because it's fertilized with bullshit.

The best protection a woman can have is courage.~Elizabeth Cady Stanton


Posts: 6814 | Registered: Aug 2006
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 5:12 AM, March 10th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Morning all.

I've been off the boards since Saturday because we got company. She's staying the whole week (ugh!)

I'm sorry to see everyone seems to be in a bad place again.

I can understand the sudden noise thing. A car door slamming could send me into a fit of tears for a long time. Now it just seems I'm sensitive to noise of any kind. I keep turning down the tv, the radio, asking my family to "stop shouting".

H is still a large gaping asshole. Sadly, still no intimacy here. I'm refraining from destroying all the ads from this week's newspaper... hate that it's swimsuit season again. After Dday I found several bra and swimsuit ads stashed in the bedroom. I know you know, but he does not understand what this does to me. Certainly none of the models were Plus Size. I mean I get Lane Bryant catalogs and none of them have been stashed away. It's a lock that I don't excite him sexually. Proof is that I went to bed naked last night and all he said to me was "don't steal my blankets if you're cold." If I ask, it will be that we had "company" in the house for his lack of interest. Except that DS and the GF were out. Course the fact that one or the other is sleeping on the couch when he gets up in the am is probably putting a damper on any early morning MB he intends.

GF's mother threw her out of the house after a fight about her state subsidy. It seems the 'mom' was stealing from her for years and she confronted her. Rather than face what she'd done, she kicked the kid out. We had a long talk with her yesterday and played "therapist". Her mom is the classic, "keep everyone away and I won't get hurt" type. Like H.

Me, I'm fine. I've shut down completely and don't feel a thing.


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 6:25 AM, March 10th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh mig. What a horrid session. I donít do screaming and shouting, but sometimes I really wish I could. And throw things. And hit him. Donít dwell on what they might have said about you. I know FWH and OW talked about me. In fact I was a popular subject for a time. I was horrified at how much she knew. My pregnancies and deliveries, my weight, my hair, my pastimes, my gym workouts, where I went shopping and what I bought. And to think I knew nothing about her existence even! She tried to steal little bits of me and stick them onto herself. Thatís why she wanted to know so much. She wanted to take my place and live my life b/c it was more attractive than hers. Hmm. Did her head in a bit, I think.

FNF and BT, thanks for your words. But sometimes I just want to throw the towel in. Which I know is normal, but sometimes I look at him and think ďI donít know you at all. Who ARE you?Ē and I canít be bothered. He didnít open up last night. But then DS4 was with us most of the time and he didnít go to bed until after 10pm. I felt it was a bit late for a ďseriousĒ talk. So I texted him this morning (he left early) asking him if he wanted to fix a ďdateĒ so he could say whatever it was that caused the comment in the pub. He said the moment had gone, but weíd talk tonight in the study. I donít think it well be about the list. Iím expecting some emphatic, reiterating, more of the same ILYís, Iím not leaving, it was a huge mistake, I didnít love her, etc, etc. Iím not sure what my response should be. Esp if he ignores the Qís he asked for. In one ear, out the other? Believe him? Take it with a sack of salt? He spent so much of married life lying. How am I supposed to know when he is telling the truth? B/c he says so??

I donít hate him. Not really. I hate what he has done and what this has done to me. Selfish? Maybe. And Iím not suicidal, just feel disappointed that itís another day and Iíve woken up. The Robbie Williams lyrics come to mind every now and then ďI donít wanna die, but I ainít keen on liviní eitherĒ and ďI have too much love running through my veins, going to wasteĒ Ė on that stupid, selfish bastard H.

Like HB, I also couldn't respond to the ILY's

I did. In the early days. I wept and cried and begged and pleaded. How can you do this, I love you, Iíve always loved you, donít leave me, etc. Now, Iím flat. I might say thank you. I might return his embrace. Or I might just look at him as if to say ďoh, yeh?Ē

Weepy, canít you just ask him for a hug, a cuddle, some sort of physical affection w/o it becoming sexual? All the help books seem to say thatís how it should start cos then itís not threatening. I just wish sometimes I could say no. But the things he says and does just makes me melt and I canít say no. And, of course, thatís exactly how he was with her. YUCK.

My smile moment yesterday. DS1&2 phoned from one of the few places they get a signal. 10ft up on a haystack on a farm some way south of Perth and watching the sun go down. ďLove you, Mother GooseĒ. >>>SIGH<<< God, I miss them.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
numb and scared
♀ Member
Member # 9908
Default  Posted: 7:02 AM, March 10th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

run said
We must start looking at ourselves as our most important project--our priority. Not our marriages and not our Hs. We can't fix them, understand them OR understand what they did; we can't make them better, or make them faithful

There are no truer words than this in the aftermath of the LTA for the BS. What you are left with amidst the rubble of what you thought was your life, is unfailingly "YOU."

BT wrote

And remember, nothing he can say will change anything essential about you. It may change what you believe about him, but you, the strong, essential women that you are, will survive no matter what.
Once you learn that you can survive, then you can working on learning to thrive.

Also undeniably true words and advice.

Survival can and will feel like you are only just marking time, day after day....some days better or worse than others.....if you are fixated on "specifics."
By specifics, I don't mean truthful answers to your questions, LTA BS are sure as hell entitled to know the how, why and when's of their double life...since it included such a large piece of your life too.
I mean not letting each day's events, or non-events, become your barometer.

The challenge is to see the big picture, YOUR big picture, not his.

This process requires approaching it as if somehow you have been relocated and now have to get your bearings in the new neighborhood.

My first few posts here two years ago included saying often "Who is this man?" because I didn't know him anymore.
What I came to realize is that the only really important result of that question was asking and finding out who "I" was now.

You are all stronger than you know...believe that !!!!

Welcome newbies. We all know your pain and confusion. Be good to yourself, first and foremost.
Think of yourself as a best friend who needs unconditional support and caring.

[This message edited by numb and scared at 7:21 AM, March 10th (Monday)]


BS
LTA
"Lying is the strongest acknowledgement of the force of truth."
- William Hazlitt
"Let us move on, and step out boldly, though it be into the night, and we can scarcely see the way."
-Charles B. Newcomb



Posts: 3958 | Registered: Feb 2006 | From:
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 7:16 AM, March 10th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

UKGirl, you sound better this morning. I wish for your sake that he would have given you some time and an idea of what it was he wanted to say but, if it's just "more of the same" then waiting shouldn't be too difficult.
As for talk about suicide or wanting to die, I know for at least the first year, I wished I would find out I had a terminal disease. The only thing that kept thoughts like those out of my head was the knowledge that I'd leave my beautiful children behind. When I was in my teens I was dating someone whose mom had a nervous breakdown. I remember going to visit her. She was in this beautiful facility and we sat outside on the lawn - it was such a peaceful day, sunny, warm and relaxing. I often fantasized about going to a place like that myself during the worst of my recovery. I often wondered if that would have been the best thing for me to do. But then life was so hectic with weddings and graduations and the birth of my grandson and now I don't need that anymore. I do think though if I had been able to that that would have been an option worth considering, even if just for a few weeks.
So many say they KNOW WS is NC. How ??? I don't think I will ever KNOW for sure and I don't know if I can live with the constant doubts.

HBH - In the beginning, I was haunted by this. And of course, since she made several attempts to contact him, I was always on edge. He told me each time (or so he says) but how could I ever be sure. Now as time has passed, I fear this less and less but I seriously doubt that I will ever feel 100% confident that NC is being maintained. To this day, if I see his cell sitting on his desk, I will check received and dialed calls. Maybe others have the confidence but I feel it is a self-protective necessity to remain watchful and somewhat suspicious.
Whether or not one can live like this is something each of us has to answer for themselves. I know for me, completely trusting my H ever again is not an option.


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
numb and scared
♀ Member
Member # 9908
Default  Posted: 7:26 AM, March 10th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know for me, completely trusting my H ever again is not an option.

fnf,

Yes.....Another lasting effect of the LTA....I only "completely" trust "me" now.


BS
LTA
"Lying is the strongest acknowledgement of the force of truth."
- William Hazlitt
"Let us move on, and step out boldly, though it be into the night, and we can scarcely see the way."
-Charles B. Newcomb



Posts: 3958 | Registered: Feb 2006 | From:
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 7:30 AM, March 10th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Weepy, canít you just ask him for a hug, a cuddle, some sort of physical affection w/o it becoming sexual? All the help books seem to say thatís how it should start cos then itís not threatening.

He doesn't have a problem with this at all. I really think he's waiting for me to start something. Not happening.


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 7:52 AM, March 10th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok girls, I have another song for you. This is by Jewel, called Stronger Woman. I think this can be "our song."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TP3JyHZc3QQ


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 8:06 AM, March 10th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I want to apologize to all of you who have posted songs. I haven't listened to any of them as ALL music seems to be a trigger to me still. I am hoping I get past this but even songs during adds make my cry, sob, rant, etc. I have found it is better for me just to isolate myself from music. Hope everyone is enjoying them!!


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 8:24 AM, March 10th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HS - please don't apologize. Each of us has specific triggers which need to be avoided at all costs. Music for me has been an emotional outlet and I have used it to help me through the worst of times. You need to find what works best for you.
If there's anything I can do or share with you to help you through this dark place, let me know and I'll try my best. (((HS)))

[This message edited by forgivenotforget at 8:25 AM, March 10th (Monday)]


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 8:49 AM, March 10th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There are songs I guess I never really listened to until this happened.

I've always found music to express feelings for myself. There are now artists I cannot listen to and I never did ask what she liked or if he'd shared any of his/our music with her. If he'd "turned her onto" any of our artists.

Just the other day, I was looking for a song to post with fnf and thought of the "you're no good" by Linda Rondstat. Surprise, surprise, it's written from an OW POV.

H and I LOVE James Taylor. We went to his concert about a month after Dday. Both of us were in tears the whole concert. When he sang a particular song that was my H's favorite, tears really started pouring out. I walked out because what I heard was him missing her, never getting to say a proper goodbye.

He corrected me afterwards and that was the first time I'd heard him say anything disparaging about her, but I still can't listen to that song. And he's coming back in concert to the Mann Center and I'm not even going to look for tickets although I just love him. We've been to almost every concert (except during the A years) together.

But I cry alot and try not to listen to music around him any more. I had to be very careful about what I put on my iPod for the gym too. After a few times of actually breaking down and having to leave, I learned that.


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
Topic Posts: 1000
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40 · 41 · 42 · 43 · 44 · 45 · 46 · 47 · 48 · 49 · 50

Return to Forum: I Can Relate This Topic is Full
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.