Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: SoCalBoy (43217)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Long Term Affaris - X
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 3:06 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow shirley, same years as my H.


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok, now I am just being a noseybuddy.
Why are you telling these people?

We have essentially told almost no one. I have two friends that know and a few more that suspect that there must have been something that happened as we have told them that we are in hard core MC, etc.

I feel like I am bearing the burden of all of his infidelity. Everyone thinks my H is the greatest guy in the world. A lot of people think I am too bitchy to him, too controlling, that I "rode" him too much. Well, guess what? I was just trying to get the fucktard to fucking own his shit. I want some of our closer friends to know at least some of the truth. At least the truth of who he is and what I have had to deal with. Our MC thinks it would be cathartic.

We are not going to tell the full extent (as they probably wouldn't believe it anyway - have you read my Hs profile? I know UKgirl couldn't believe it). But they will know about the two LTAs as they both happened at the same firm where this man worked. I am definitely getting her name out there as she lives in the same town, runs in the same social circles as this couple. I just want them to know and fuck her and fuck him.

That good enough?!!!!


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 3:20 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The thing that made me text OW was FWH “couldn’t remember” when he last saw or had sex with her. (No, really. He said he couldn’t remember, but thought it was a motorway service station. … now read on.) She said he should remember the last time b/c of DS3’s b’day. I said he was useless w b’days and only remembered mine – not our boys, his M, his D. She was miffed (I could tell!) and said the last time she saw him WAS the last time they had sex. Hmmmm. So, if it was a S/stn, then they shagged in the Costa Coffee lounge. Nice.

Her 50th was the day b/f DS3’s 18th. Even when confronted, he claimed not to remember the date or the day of the week. Duh! Turned out to be a rather pleasant 4* hotel on the M ……. 69!!!! It’s taken 20 months for that last tidbit of info. And I am NEVER, EVER going to let him forget it. AND. This afternoon, he brought me a cup of tea in a porcelain mug – with P******** Hotels on it. Now I know he got it from a golf charity trip, but, dickhead, IT’S THE SAME F*CKING CHAIN!!! Guess where it is now. (No, I didn’t smash it over his head, but I should have.)

So, Shirley. It was a long time ago. Does the specific date matter now? When I was digging for mine, FWH was denying, lying, lying by omission, trickle-truthing big time, as any of you know if you’ve read my profile.

I am betting he will find out anyway as we are getting ready to tell some people that know her (a couple that we are close to and the man used to work at the same firm as my H and two of the OW).

Why???

I have told my H that if we D, all parties involved getting notified letters

And I’d just keep that to myself, if I were you. You might feel differently.

On another note, how was your week, LostH? Over your cold?

[This message edited by UKgirl at 3:22 PM, March 14th (Friday)]


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 3:24 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shirley, Can I gently suggest revenge rather than cathartic?


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 3:26 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That good enough?!!!!

Yes Ma'am!

***
Ukg, some of these men just dont think, dont they? idiot!

My cold is over.Almost. I refuse to acknowledge it. Just day and night nursing it away.What cold??
Thanks for asking.

And what are you up to this weekend? Just saw the bbc weather forecast, and it sucks! Hopefully easter weekend will be better. I hope to take the kids on a day trip to some where really touristy and cheesy like Southend on Sea!

When do your boys get back from Au?


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 3:27 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gotta go. DS4 & friend want this room. And I should get dinner and not survive on breadsticks and rocket & parmesan dip. Check in later.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 3:30 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HE wants to go shopping for lightfittings (?????) and or new sofas (??????). He HATES shopping. Ah, not anymore, he tells me. Yeh, right. So when did he become Mr Retail Therapy?

And Sarf-end’s okay. Just stay up the posh end and away from the amusements!!


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 3:42 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LostH - sorry that sounded too ventish and I certainly was not venting in your direction! I just get a little riled thinking about all he has done and what a great guy everyone thinks he is.

Shirley, Can I gently suggest revenge rather than cathartic?

Nope, not revenge. Have the seal of approval from IC and MC. The main point is to bring a few of our close friends up to speed on why we have been absent, what the cause is and how we are working on it. The disclosure of names is intended to find out who else knew or suspected at the firm so we know where we stand on that front.

If she happened to get completely flattened by the karma bus in the process...well that's just icing on the cake!


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 4:11 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just get a little riled thinking about all he has done and what a great guy everyone thinks he is

I know that feeling, Shirley!
Sometimes I have this daydream where I send an email to everyone H ever knew, detailing what a guy he really is, as opposed to that standup family man focused on his career, that they all know.
And then I think how little dignity he has left, just knowing about the few that know, and I dont think that I have it in me to hurt him like that. I think he will drop so down, that he will never be able to lift himself up again. And what good will that do me or the kids.Still, that daydream sends me to sleep when the nights are stark.

Shirley, just a word of warning though. These people may not react the way we would expect them to. So dont expect too much from them. But I know you just want them to know, so that should be alright.

***
Ukg, breadstick and parmesan?
Thats a nibble, not F O O D !
We are obviously on different planets when it comes to one of my fav topics. Maybe thats why you are so skinny, and I am...oooh lets not get that started again!


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 4:45 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shirley, just a word of warning though. These people may not react the way we would expect them to.

I am wary of that. This man was at the same company as my h for 5+ years. The more I hear about the company, the more I find that it was, at some level, a giant bedroom - lots of sleeping around. I kind of wonder if HE was involved.


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 6:18 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A lot of it may only be talk. Office gossip. I’d still be careful as to who you tell, whether friends, family or colleagues. As LostH said, you don’t know how they may react – some may have been affected by infidelity too.

Nite, nite. I’m bushed.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 7:18 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A lot of it may only be talk. Office gossip.

Precisely, I want to hear the old office gossip. I want him to hear it so he knows what a fucktard he was to think he was pulling the wool over everyone's eyes.

In my experience, the office gossip isn't too far off the mark. Sometimes it is a little harsh but about affairs it is usually spot on. I watched a former superior act like a complete idiot with his overly pierced girlfriend on the fucking trading desk in front of everybody. Meanwhile, his very sweet wife and mother of 4 was at home taking care of life. Knowing that I was at the other end of that makes me want to


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 7:25 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

shirley,

I would also warn you not to have too great expectations from those you tell. My husband sounds so much like yours. People just totally love him, and they think I was not as nice to him as I could have been.

even though his cheating started very early in our marriage -- the honeymoon period, actually -- my impression is that most of those I told believe his cheating was my fault. Once I figued that out, I stopped telling anyone.

Bt


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shit BT - really? that just sucks. Are people really that brutal? I used to like people and now I am starting to either suspect or hate them all. Can we start an LTA commune where we would all be safe?

I must look wounded as people are always being much nicer to me than before. Maybe I look like the roadkill that I am.


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 7:54 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't think people are that brutal, I think they are that uninformed. And, if truth be told, I think i was probably one of them at one time.

When we know better we do better, but unfortunately we often hurt a lot of people in our ignorant period.


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 7:55 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

also, I would just like to go on record as saying that root canal's really suck.


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
hearbroken
Member
Member # 8317
Default  Posted: 8:10 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HS,

I was one of those people that just blurted out the truth about H's A after dday. I have to say that I regretted it....... So, tread cautiously about who you tell and how many. Luckily, the ones I told have mostly been trustworthy, but there are a few I don't know about.

BT- yeah, root canals suck. And I'm getting a cold and colds suck, too.

Hang in there, tribe....

HB


Dday1 8/05 (LTA)
Dday2 4/09 (online EA 2 weeks then confessed)
Dday 3 8/10 ("full disclosure" of more infidelity prior to 2009)

Posts: 869 | Registered: Sep 2005
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 9:02 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OTC so sorry I missed your birthday!!!

But Happy Belated Birthday

Hi Everybody!!!!!
Still been missing in action. Our new offices will not be finished for probably about another month, so I'm still not able to get in SI during the work day. And I just haven't had time in the evenings at home. And I just can't keep up with so many posts.

I'm better. Went to IC and came clean with her about my depression and death thoughts. She looked at me kind of like....duh, like I didn't already know that. But I also told her that I understand that there is nothing wrong with me and that the wrong party from the FSA family was sitting in her office, she agreed. She said for Mr FSA to give her a call and we didn't even make another appt for me. I don't feel like I even need one right now. But I KNOW that he needs many many appts. But guess what, he hasn't called her to make one. He can talk the talk but when it comes to walking the walk.....But I'll sit back and watch to see what he plans on doing. I've decided that the only way that he is going to hold onto me is by winning me back. B/c quite frankly, he lost me during all the LTA crap over all the years. So as it stands right now, even though we are living under the same roof, he does not HAVE me. He will when and only when he wins me back. Hope that doesn't sound too harsh. It's just the truth.

FSA


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
runoverbytruck
♀ Member
Member # 11752
Default  Posted: 9:47 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((((((((((FSA)))))))))))))

I'm wishing you strength, sweets.

Hang in there.


LTA BS

If you think the grass is greener on the other side, it's because it's fertilized with bullshit.

The best protection a woman can have is courage.~Elizabeth Cady Stanton


Posts: 6814 | Registered: Aug 2006
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 9:54 PM, March 14th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Fsa. I'm glad you're feeling better and that your IC understood. It'll show an enormous amount of courage if your H is able to make an appointment.

I hope he does it.


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
Topic Posts: 1000
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40 · 41 · 42 · 43 · 44 · 45 · 46 · 47 · 48 · 49 · 50

Return to Forum: I Can Relate This Topic is Full
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.