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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Long Term Affaris - X
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 5:11 PM, April 5th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you BT.
Yep, today is my bday.
36!!!

Where did the time go?

I remember my mum being 36. She remembered too, today. I was 18. She had had another dday and we left home, cos my dad refused to.She went through a worse time that year, then the year before when she had had the first dday. Not a good year for her.

I pray that although in many ways I seem to be repeating her pattern, that I WILL not follow her foot steps in regard to M. Maybe her going through such a hard time with my dad, was to show me what not to do in my M. Maybe I was to learn lessons from her life.

Anyway had a good day with H and kiddos. He was quite stressed about today but he did good.

Hope everyone else is having a good weekend!

ps. I got ((())) from BT (singsong tune )


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 5:55 PM, April 5th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

QUICK, QUICK

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOSTH!!

WOW! 36. WISH I WAS!!

okay, submit before midnight. Hope it was gooooood!!

P x

ETA. Oh my. did you notice the photo from hurts was of a bleeding heart shrub?? V appropriate. >sigh<

[This message edited by UKgirl at 6:03 PM, April 5th (Saturday)]


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3327 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
numb and scared
♀ Member
Member # 9908
Default  Posted: 10:44 PM, April 5th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Happy Birthday, Lost.

Made it just under the wire....well, by USA time anyway.

Hope you got to do something special...cuz you are.
Hugs


BS
LTA
"Lying is the strongest acknowledgement of the force of truth."
- William Hazlitt
"Let us move on, and step out boldly, though it be into the night, and we can scarcely see the way."
-Charles B. Newcomb



Posts: 3958 | Registered: Feb 2006 | From:
Feeling so alone
♀ Member
Member # 14492
Default  Posted: 11:33 PM, April 5th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I haven't poked my head in here in about a week. But I'm glad I did tonight.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOST HEART!!!!

Hope everybody is doing well.

Me, I chased dust bunnies today. I caught a few but most of them managed to survive. Alas, they always win.

Hello to the newbies. Glad you found your way here. LTA forum is a life saver. You have found the one group that "knows". The one group that can "understand".

Wish I could think of a good joke or something else that might bring a smile to someone, but can't come up with much. The only thing I can come up with is a new word that my DS came up with. When I told my 6 year old DS that my 3 year old grandson was coming over today, my DS said "oh no, he always tormises me".

Night night. Sleep tight!!!

FSA


Together we're working through an LTA

If a man says something in the woods and there's not a woman there to hear it, is he still wrong?


Posts: 1357 | Registered: May 2007
up2me
♀ Member
Member # 10681
Default  Posted: 1:16 AM, April 6th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lost Heart i hope you had a fabulous birthday!!! and i pray you have a terrific year with your wildest dreams coming true.
enjoy your lives tribe.
as always sending you all good thoughts

Posts: 690 | Registered: May 2006 | From: ny
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 8:08 AM, April 6th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lost - Happy Belated Birthday!!!

Sorry I missed your birthday. I did have to have another painful procedure. Then, to add insult to injury, the pain medication they gave me after made me sick. I was on the couch all day. As I said before, when is the swarm of locusts going to descend on my house.

I go back again Monday and hopefully everything is good. Meanwhile, I will be sort of out of commission for a few days. Guess I will have to lay on the couch and drive everyone here crazy!

I just HBs post in general. OMG, I cannot believe that. Is there a god and, if so, why would he do that?!


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 8:29 AM, April 6th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lost Heart, a happy, happy belated birthday. Didn't get on much yesterday, or I would have been on time,dammit, I hate being late!

Saying that, just realized I missed SIL's bday on March 30.

Hope it was as wonderful as you are.


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 9:18 AM, April 6th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for all your wishes.


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 9:39 AM, April 6th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Where is everyone?!!! I am bored and stuck on the couch with my laptop and no one to play with!!


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
hearbroken
Member
Member # 8317
Default  Posted: 9:41 AM, April 6th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

LH,

Add my "Happy Belated Birthday" wishes to the rest of the groups and just pretend mine were on time

Seriously, I hope you had a very special day and pampered yourself as you deserve.

I don't pop in much nowadays because life just seems to be so crazy and hectic. I have had some triggers lately, mainly related to finding out some informaton about OW. I have to admit I am just PISSED that she is living happily, that her H stayed with her and that I hear she's off to exotic places, while I still am stuck every day battling against the LTA monster. Each day it gets easier to be happy. Each day time goes on and I tell myself that I need to live in the "now." But we all know that this is just something that sticks with us and that becomes part of us. So, it makes me RAGINGLY pissed off that in my case the OW suffered no consequences. Her H stayed M to her and is a very non-confrontational guy who just swept it all under the carpet. So, she gets to keep her wealthy lifestyle and easy life, while mine continues to be a struggle. I just keep telling myself that when I die I will reap my rewards in heaven........

So, hope the rest of the tribe is doing well. I lurk everyday but only pop in when I feel I have something to contribute (which is not much these days because the other wise ones already seem to cover it )

HB


Dday1 8/05 (LTA)
Dday2 4/09 (online EA 2 weeks then confessed)
Dday 3 8/10 ("full disclosure" of more infidelity prior to 2009)

Posts: 869 | Registered: Sep 2005
hearbroken
Member
Member # 8317
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, April 6th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HS,

I hope you feel better soon. It's really hard to have a positive attitude when the body is in pain. So I am impressed that you are keeping your sense of humor.

What are you going to do to keep yourself busy to pass the time (besides SI, of course!)?

HB


Dday1 8/05 (LTA)
Dday2 4/09 (online EA 2 weeks then confessed)
Dday 3 8/10 ("full disclosure" of more infidelity prior to 2009)

Posts: 869 | Registered: Sep 2005
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 10:08 AM, April 6th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hb - now that I am not barfing (as that pretty much keeps one occupied), I am keeping busy SIing, watching the Food Network and HGTV and shopping online. If I had to do this without a laptop I would go nuts.

Thanks for your thoughts. Maybe I can find something to keep me occupied in F&G?


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
hearbroken
Member
Member # 8317
Default  Posted: 10:16 AM, April 6th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HS,

Yeah, being online is a god-send, isn't it? My friend was on bedrest during almost her entire pregnancy and she was addicted

Food network is good & online shopping, well watch out!

I hope you have a good day, HS.....

Take care
HB


Dday1 8/05 (LTA)
Dday2 4/09 (online EA 2 weeks then confessed)
Dday 3 8/10 ("full disclosure" of more infidelity prior to 2009)

Posts: 869 | Registered: Sep 2005
lovinlife
♀ Member
Member # 17863
Default  Posted: 11:21 AM, April 6th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lost Heart,

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!

Sorry I'm late.... it seems like on here I always am!!

Hope it was wonderful.


Together more than half our lives.

I am woman, hear me ROAR!!
What you accept, you teach!

Me 53, WS 54
Reconciled for life!
DD 24, DS 27


Posts: 1159 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: Missouri
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 11:52 AM, April 6th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks again, you guys.

***
Shirley, what would we do w/o the net??
Glad you are finding it useful. Nothing worse than being sick, and the whole world is out having fun (or so it seems ). Then again, give me a pile of books and snacks...and I am a happy camper too.

Speedy recovery.

***
((((HB)))))

Yeah, it does suck when they get to carry on per usual, or as in the case of the OW in my case, have her H rediscover his passion and love, and so she gets away very nicely.

I sat with this injustice for weeks on end last year, HB. Finally, I realised that I just had to let them (OW) go, and know that somehow, someday, somewhere, they WILL pay. Unfort I will not witness it, but I just had to keep that faith.
Also, writing a very cathartic letter to them and their H's (which also made them aware of each others existence ), helped me let it go.I had to....for me.

Sometimes I wished that they didnt throw H under the bus so quick, that they put up some semblance of a fight, so at least I get to whip their asses. But these pathetic women, the ones that MY H sacrificed me and the kids for, just squealed, said goodbye, and poof!were gone.
Then again, I see how difficult some of sisters have it here with these parasites still leeching on, and I think I am "fortunate".

Try to banish those thoughts of OW from your head, HB. They are not worth the dirt from under the dirt from under the dirt from under your shoe.

Force yourself to think of better things, of a better time either in the past or future (daydreaming is so vastly underrated IMHO ).

***
Tribe, why is it that some of us are ok on actual special days, but then go on a trigger marathon the following day??

I am fighting this battle in myself today..the A-related me and the R-related me.
I dont want the ugly side to take over, but it seems like almost everything is triggering me today, and I am trying hard to keep from falling.

Esp since H is deep in his depression and will NOT react positively to me, which will then compound the problem and that will send the whole family down the drain for the next few days.

Arrrghhhhh.


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 11:53 AM, April 6th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shirley, I have been sitting on ebay for most of today, trying to keep myself distracted.

DD's bday is coming up and I am looking for craft activities to keep these girls busy.


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, April 6th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tribe, why is it that some of us are ok on actual special days, but then go on a trigger marathon the following day??


Lost - I am guessing here but....it is probably because we will ourselves to "enjoy" the special days and to not allow anything or anyone to ruin them. We are trying to make some happy memories for us and our families. Then, the next day, reality sets back in and the fairytale is gone again. Nothing to look forward to. The excitement is over.

Other than that, I have been trying to keep my particularly dark days marked on the calendar so I figure out if it related to cycles (moon, menstrual, whatever). I will let you know if I make a breakthrough discovery on this front.

(((lost)))

ETA: we crossed....do you have "Michaels" or "AC Moore" there. They are craft stores that are loaded with stuff that my kids love. I will google to see if they have a website.

http://www.michaels.com/art/online/home

(told ya I was bored! )

[This message edited by hurtshirley at 12:03 PM, April 6th (Sunday)]


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 12:13 PM, April 6th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shirley, your explanation makes sense.
I guess. Seems like a delayed reaction sometimes, though.

Re. PMS and moods...definite link!! I alternate between extreme anger and extreme sadness. However, I will say that that has gotten better in recent months.

Re crafts for girls.Decide (I think) on getting this papermache empty treasure chests, and let them decorate them at will. Easy, min involvement from me, and cheap too.

Cake is sorted. Loot bags as well (got my youngest sis from HK to buy me loads of cheap trinkets).So now party games and food.And her pressies.

Then we have DS's bday the week after.

Its aahh...challenging financially having 3 bdays in one month.

Now I just have to draw up my party schedule with allocated dutied and timelines and then I am sorted!


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 12:25 PM, April 6th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lost - you aarrrreee getting H to help with this aren't you?

You are a working girl now. Everybody has to help with everything. Don't try to work and do it all too. I tried that - no fun and didn't help anyway. Just gave H more time to plot his As.


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
Steelergal
♀ Member
Member # 13113
Default  Posted: 12:26 PM, April 6th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Tribe! I'm trying to catch up. I've been out of town and helping H with MIL, who is starting in the very early stages of dementia. Watching the dynamics of this situation with MIL, BIL and H makes me see H's FOO issues especially with MIL. This may very well apply to my sitch:

I kept coming back to the thought that the A had in some way been a way to test whether he actually had the unconditional love from me he'd never had from his mother.

Happy belated Birthday, LH! There does always seem to be a let down after special times now. I guess like Shirley said you enjoy the moment then it's back to reality.

Shirley, I hope you're feeling better soon.

UK, that was an incredible poem. I wish I could outlet like that. I think your H should stuff his critique up his bottom.

[This message edited by Steelergal at 12:27 PM, April 6th (Sunday)]


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