It is never too late, you are never too sick and you are never too old to start from scratch once again.
There were so many nights of that... We've been separated since August. I went over a few times, and we'd already made a decision to D. But while watching some TV while I was over there (having lunch, she needed someone to drive her around) she was still texting... all those old feeling I hadn't felt since June were coming back. I was suddenly very excited to have it all done. It sucks I have to actually contact her to get it done. Dragging my feet sooo bad.
I was at a mutual friends party too last weekend. And there she was again texting who knows who. Not like it matters... but same old feelings of unease and discomfort. I still logon to some of her accounts to see if I can see what she's doing... i really have to stop that :(
Remarried to a supremely wonderful person!
It sucks that some people are so selfish, and stuck in the fog, that they have no idea of the amount of hurt, they are causing....
And it sucks that we are the ones that feel that hurt....
Fully in R! (and successful Retrouvaille "grads"!)
Don't get me wrong, I am definitely glad to be free from the worries of him exposing me to STDs and unwanted pregnancies from a PA. I think the only reason the EA never got that far is she lives in another city and he never had the confidence to make the move. I think if she had attempted to initiate sexual contact, he would have done it in a heartbeat and it kills me!
I left and stayed elsewhere last night, adn he called me this mornign. I came home to get kids ready and off to school, and he tried to smooth everything over. I told him it wouldn't work, he had to recongnize his part in this f'd up mess, continue IC. He ahs had ONE appt, and he doesn't realize HE is at fault here. He blames everything he ever does wrong (drinking, hanging with women...) on our lack of communication--which he sees as my fault.
I am steps from being out the door for good.
Now, to know he gave his heart to another.... it just plain kills me.
ps. I think the barfing smiley is my favorite one.
Best post EVER ---> http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=324250&AP=1&HL=
Somehow, this EA thing is so much more painful, difficult to process, than if he'd just slept with her.
He has admitted everything. No TT. He is NC since the day after DDay, when he told her I knew about the EA. According to him, their only physical contact was hugging. I'm still suspicious and skeptical. Normal, I guess. But he's been good as gold.
Some days, I believe him and feel good about our chances. Others, I want to pack a bag and never look back.
We'll be starting counseling through his EAP soon. I'm scared. What if stuff comes up that I can't handle? What if there really was more? Or others? And what if he learns things about me that are dealbreakers (no, not an A, but maybe some flaw he can't abide)? Can you tell my self-image - already fragile - has taken a hit? Sigh.
Was served divorce papers on 10/30/12
D final 4/30/13
I have a good buddy who's wife started an EA back in early summer. It got pretty heated but she swore she never did anything outside of kissing him. She told my buddy that she wanted to marry this other guy, blend the families (there are kids on both sides) b/c she loves the guy. She'd sneak off for hours at a time and eventually come back to my buddy. They did MC, tried NC and it's kind of going okay, but I can tell from her that she is not into it, at all. She's almost depressed that she lost something which was so exciting to her.
My question to you all is, do you think it's more than a EA? Regardless of what she tells my buddy, I think she's FOS and that there's no way she hasn't slept with the OM, but she's sticking to her "kissing only" guns.
What say you?
The main exceptions to the general rule seem to be long-distance EAs (little or no opportunity) or heavily fantasy-based ones in which actual sex would burst the soap bubble. Neither sounds like it really applies here.
ETA: Corrected some year-old typos. Yes, I'm anal-retentive that way.
[This message edited by survivorman at 12:34 AM, August 28th (Sunday)]
After what you did I can't stay on
And I'll probably feel a whole lot better
When you're gone
To all who have just found out, to all who are being Trickle Truthed, to all who are lost, to all who are here, I am so sorry we all share this boat. Feel free to PM me anytime. I have faith that we can all get through this.
forgiven and in R :)
"To err is human.
Last June I discovered my wife having an emotional affair after having reconnected with an ex-boyfriend on facebook. After investigating, it was incredibly hurtful with how much they were secretly communicating. Thousands and thousands of minutes of talking, chatting, and text. Hundreds of dollars in additional phone bills.
After further investigation, I'm pretty certain that it was strictly an EA, with him in Canada, and us in Nebraska. But I did find out that she was inquiring on how to renew her passport and researching information on immigration and working in Canada. I even intercepted an IM from the OM telling her that all she has to do is "send the application to the company", which tells me she was at least planning on abandoning me, escape to Canada to be with him, and work in the same company as him.
I confronted her too soon without gathering more evidence, so she's using the excuse that they're just friends, which she maintains to this day.
In R at this time