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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: N.P.D. Thread part VI
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 9:34 PM, April 29th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG he is certifiable.

My youngest called him tonight and told the ex that if he didn't give me the phone number in 2 days he wants nothing to do with his dad again. Little guy is 12 so I am pretty sure he won't hold to it but still it was his way of standing up to his dad.

Of course the ex didn't answer the phone. When he called back hours later he tells son he was doing laundry so he was too busy to answer the phone. Then he went off on son screaming at him and having a total melt down. He was telling son I can't deny him access for not giving me the phone number. (yup I can and have with the support of the child protection order who will be contacting him in the next few days).

His freaking phone number is more important than his kids. How pathetic can you get?


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 9:59 PM, April 29th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((lied2)))

He is a fucking tool squared.

Curse time:

May fiberglass insulation have been mixed in with his laundry.

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
janedoe99
♀ Member
Member # 17083
Default  Posted: 10:05 PM, April 29th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lied2,

I read your D/S thread, and I truly feel that you nailed it completely when you labeled your ex "nutjob."

It's ludicrous to throw such a tantrum (with his son no less) over a stupid, frickin' phone number.

But hey, tantrums are what N's are good at, right?

Hugs,

JD

[This message edited by janedoe99 at 10:16 PM, April 29th (Tuesday)]


Me BW 36 Him WH/XH 32
DD - 4 y/o; DSS 11 y/o
M 4yrs/ Together 8
D-day#1/2 - Sept. 2007, Nov. 2007
Divorced 4/08

Posts: 156 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Florida
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 10:30 PM, April 29th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((lied2))) What a complete arsehole (I hope that arseholes are not offended by the comparison). It's never simple with an N, is it? Last night, I got yelled at because I gave mine 1 week's notice about a get-together and I had known about it for three days before I told him. Tonight, he just up and left for a meeting that he announced had been all over the newspapers, which means that he's known about it for quite some time, came home and told me that he was going to his co-worker's annual cook-off this weekend, which he has also known about for quite some time. Instead of just saying, "I already have plans," I have to be the bad guy, and he gets to have several tantrums and a meltdown. I can't imagine that just coming out with the truth is worth all of that drama, but N's love to keep feeding it, even when it comes at the expense of their children.

*npd -- the gift that keeps on giving *

[This message edited by veritas at 10:31 PM, April 29th (Tuesday)]


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 10:36 PM, April 29th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have to admit that I thank God every day that I am divorced from this man. He is insane and I can't understand how I lived with him for so long.

I just hope that all this fuss doesn't get her to cancel her wedding plans. I want him to get married so he leave us alone. She deserves whatever she gets.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 11:46 PM, April 29th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Tribe)))

I've been seeing "NPD Freak" sightings all over SI the last couple days.

What the hell is up with these idiots?

Did they get a memo?

Fucking Asshat*Fucktarding Tools.

I'm so sorry for all that have to deal with these people. It is so sad, so unresolvable. Crap with these folks never ends. I'm starting to understand what it is said about Ns when people ignore them/detach from them. They seem to just freak out ratchet up their freak game. I'm starting to understand what is meant by the Ns thinking they own/still own us. Understanding more and more how the whole "lightbulbs and toasters" thing manifests itself. They really don't care. Can't care and we really are objects, and very unfortunately, so are our kids.

What a challange it is dealing with these idiots. Ugh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BoB (Just a rambling/ranting).


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
Balancing Act
♀ Member
Member # 19047
Default  Posted: 12:13 AM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

lied 2

I hear you!! I am sooo thankful that I am not planning to waste one extra second of my life on this shithead...

This is one of the reasons I have not completely fucked his world over, because I want his OW to want him in the worst way!

Please, please take him off my hands!!

I am doing one slightly subtle thing tomorrow that I hope will just send him reeling wiht thoughts of what *could* happen.

When I found his old laptop with about 6 months of emails to the OW (from the very beginning of the affair), I saw names and email addresses of friends of hers who they had seen socially. One is the CEO of the hospital in OWs hometown (perhaps her boss) another is a high-powered lawyer, who i'm sure the Cap'n would be sucking up to, another is on staff to a state representative who holds some sway over WH's clients.

I have left out a piece of paper with all of their names, addresses and phone numbers. I don't know if WH will see it or examine it tomorrow while he is here, but if he does it will be priceless. I might not get to see a visual reacation to it, but I can just imagine the way his stomach might churn and it will be worth it. Just the thought that I might (or could) contact these people and out him to them is priceless.


Me - BS....living a wonderful new beginning and giving love another chance

Tulsa Area Coffee Buddy


Posts: 2443 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: in the middle, somewhat elevated
Cheerfull_1
Member
Member # 18219
Default  Posted: 1:49 AM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would like to add my 2 cents. Tonight, STBXNPD picks up son for "his night". Not 5 mins later, I get a text about DS not doing homework due to not having a pencil(which is true). I told him, "let me handle his homework. thank you." So he comes home tonight with pencils. According to Ds, dad is still mad at him. we usually do his homework in one day due to all the drama.


BS(me)-32
STBX(him)-32
DS- 9
1 Mo EA turned PA.

D-day 12/06/07,day b4 b-day admitted 2 wk EA.

Success is failure turned inside out.
"Illusion never changed into something real." Torn - Natalie Imbrulia.
Divored n Feb 09


Posts: 378 | Registered: Feb 2008
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 12:28 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Cheer --

Wait up. He's angry with DS for not having a pencil? Or he's mad because he had to spend a freaking dollar on some pencils? Or he's mad at you because you so obviously sent DS without a pencil to intentionally cause him a hassle? What a freak. I have a similar story from last night - was it a full moon? I'm going to post it next. Be strong.

[This message edited by woundedby2 at 12:31 PM, April 30th (Wednesday)]


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7635 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 1:04 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I came to post this latest episode in "As My Head Spins", and then I read Cheer's post which had me fuming, because the incidents are so similar. I swear - is there some sort of book out there? "Idiot's Guide to Acting Like a Complete Asshole" or something like that??

STBXH - Dad of the Year - drops the kids off 45 minutes early (another story). After he is gone, DD9 is crying because "Daddy is so mean to me." I find out that she asked him to buy her some school supplies to have at his apartment so she can do her homework without having to lug everything over there all the time. He refused saying that "she has all that stuff at home." What an ass.
They were at the mall, where there is a WalMart, for God's sake. She asked him to buy her pencils, a sharpener and markers - not a laptop computer! What a way to show your daughter that you care. Seriously, $5.00 worth of supplies for homework? So I am left to deal with the 45 minutes of crying and "It's just not fair to me", "Dad is always mean to me", "I don't want to go to his apartment", etc.

He is pissed off because I won't allow him to have visitation in MY HOME anymore because he chose to violate my trust by snooping and deleting things from the computer. So now he's taking it out on the kids to show them that it is my fault that they are inconvenienced. He is insistent on having his visitation every weekday from 4:00 to 6:00 and has agreed to supervise the homework. He "won't give up any of his time with the kids" even though they don't want to be there, and he really doesn't know what to do with them or how to treat them. I'm sure it's his attorney that is telling him that he won't give up any time with the kids. Once again - Dad of the Year.


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7635 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
itsabattle
♀ Member
Member # 13036
Default  Posted: 1:23 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is there something in the water with the npd parents this week. The freak showed his true colours to the kids this week. My ds was ill and he was meant to be staying over at the freaks. I was due to be tutoring to earn some extra money for food. My budget went to pot as I did not get all of my state benefit this month - another story!
The kids knew I had to go out to tutor this weekend to make ends meet. I had also been invited out by a friend for a few drinks, her treat. I was really looking forward to sat eve - a bit of work, out on the town, a lie in etc etc!
When ds became ill on sat afternoon I had to change plans. Not a problem. The freak turns up to collect dd and dd says to him "mom has no money till pay day so I am giving her my twenty pounds from my piggy bank". Ds says I will go to daddys because mom has to go and earn money so she can feed us.
None of this was put into their mouths and I would rather they did not pick up on my financial worries.
Anyway the freak says I would love to give you twenty pounds but I have just spent two hundered pounds on my teeth! Even the kids looked at him with amazement! He could not care if they starved to death! It is no surprise to me as when he lived with us he used to say it was my problem to find money for the kids food. After all he was paying for his viagra!!!Ha Ha!!
A disgusting father. My friend posted fifty pounds through my letter box to ensure I had money to feed the dudes! It was pay day today so should be ok now. The financial stress is another part of his legacy.

They are all bloody mad!


Posts: 1233 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: england
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 4:22 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It must be the moon. Mine keeps putting "how sad he is without you, brazil" in his away message on his IM's. I've told him GO, GO, GO -- his company has an office down there -- OOPS, my bad, the GM whom he thought was such a good friend recommended that he never go down there on company time again. Apparently, he spent all of his time either drunk, high, or whoring, and made several huge mistakes that cost the company a lot of money. And we all know how much an American without a company expense account and overnight bonuses can party in Brazil, particularly if he is dark-skinned (ie, not at all -- it's a very segregated country, particularly in socioeconomic matters).

[This message edited by veritas at 4:23 PM, April 30th (Wednesday)]


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
Balancing Act
♀ Member
Member # 19047
Default  Posted: 4:57 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

update to the Cap'n visit to the house to get his 'stuff'

I was at the house with my BFF, we were sitting in the living room surfing for fixtures for her bathroom remodel He showed up almost on time - a miracle! - I had the house unlocked so that he would not know that the locks have been changed. He came in, went into the bathroom (UGH!), then walked to the foyer and said hello, ladies. We said hello back. He asked if we planned to stay while he was there. I said, "yes." He asked, "when can I have unsupervised access?" I said, "You can't." He said, "ok"...I said, "ok"


and he left.

Now, he had driven an hour and a half to get to the house, and he turned around and drove another hour and a half to get back to his apartment and then sent me an e-mail about how sad he is, and about how he had an "honest" expectation that I would "respect" his request for unsupervised access (yes, he used "honest" and "respect" in the same sentence!) I had, in fact, told him previously that I would arrange for someone to be there that day. I never responded (total NC) to his assumption that there would be no one there. I did not go back on a promise I made to him to to give him access.

Anyway, the gist of the email is that he is pouting and says that he will just give up any hope of being able to get his "things" but acknowledges that they are just things and he will replace them. He ended his email with "Thanks."

and to that I say, "you're welcome."


Me - BS....living a wonderful new beginning and giving love another chance

Tulsa Area Coffee Buddy


Posts: 2443 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: in the middle, somewhat elevated
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 5:50 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So balancing Act when is the yard sale and bondfire? I bet you could use the money for sone new stuff for your place.

They are got spring fever which is making them nuts. I was looking back in the emails and my ex usually pulls stuff like this after not seeing the kids for months between January and April. This makes 5 years with the same pattern. Scary


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
Balancing Act
♀ Member
Member # 19047
Default  Posted: 5:58 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

lied2......

check E-Bay!

no, seriously. It will just stay status quo....it's his stuff...i'm not going to exert myself moving it or dealing with it. If we sell the house and his stuff is still there - so be it.

The next episode will be waiting to see if he ponies up the temporary support that was ordered earlier this month. He has until May 5 and if it doesn't show up, we'll go to court to enforce the temporary orders......

Until then.....


Me - BS....living a wonderful new beginning and giving love another chance

Tulsa Area Coffee Buddy


Posts: 2443 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: in the middle, somewhat elevated
OutFromUnder
♀ Member
Member # 19061
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just curious. Did anyone else have experience with the NPD having an expensive hobby obsession? One that the NPD spent all their time on?

My theory is that this is just another way to avoid giving to the spouse in a relationship.


Posts: 79 | Registered: Apr 2008
Cheerfull_1
Member
Member # 18219
Default  Posted: 9:03 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG, yes! He went through a Harley phase(2 years), Goth(1 year), Star Wars (yes, in daylight 7 days a week), and now he thinks he's in the Army (1yr). I can only imagine how much $ could have saved for a new place. However, he did try to include me in his little fantasy world. I only bought things that appealed to MY taste.


BS(me)-32
STBX(him)-32
DS- 9
1 Mo EA turned PA.

D-day 12/06/07,day b4 b-day admitted 2 wk EA.

Success is failure turned inside out.
"Illusion never changed into something real." Torn - Natalie Imbrulia.
Divored n Feb 09


Posts: 378 | Registered: Feb 2008
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 9:15 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Out, my N was a "professional student" collecting master's degrees.
So he always had to go to night class, write a paper, research, give a lecture, go on a trip, buy a book, etc.

[This message edited by dreamlife at 9:16 PM, April 30th (Wednesday)]


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 9:16 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BalancingAct,
During my divorce with my XNPDH it was a nightmare dividing our marital property. He REFUSED to come into the house as long as I was here and or anyone on "my side" was here. He wanted free range to take whatever he wanted.

He would fax (yes fax, who does that anymore?) list after list of his demands of what he considered HIS property. It was all of his premarital property and all of my premarital property and every nice marital thing we owned. It was insane. This went on for over a year. He REFUSED to settle and continued to tell the judge that I won't give him his stuff.

I ended up going through everything and sorting our out premarital property and dividing (fairly) our marital property. Then I video taped each thing and marked it with a number. Then I put each number on a list and wrote down what it was. Then I hauled it all out to the curb.

This worked out quite well as my XNPDH was a stalking freak and watched the house and every move I made. It wasn't long before he had called the police to tell them that I was putting "all of HIS things out for trash."

When the police came to the door, they asked what I was doing and I said that I was cleaning my garage. They asked me if the stuff at the curb was his, and I said, "I didn't think he wanted it, but he's more than welcome to it. Please stay while he loads it up."

XNPDH and OW loaded his shit in the rain.

The police came back to tell me that he was finished. I gave my itimized list to the police officer and asked him to have XNPDH sign it acknowledging that he had recieved his things.

XNPDH jumped up and down, threw a fit, was refusing to sign until the police threatened to take him to jail. He signed.

I took the list to court and showed it to the judge along with the video of all the things I gave him. Even though XNPDH cried and fought for more, the judge said he had enough and forced him to sign off on our divorce.

This is not how I would recommend doing property exchange, but when you're dealing with a lunatic who is all about control and only has the vocabulary of "Mine, Mine, Mine..." it might be a last resort alternative.

[This message edited by sadtoo at 9:18 PM, April 30th (Wednesday)]


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7927 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
Balancing Act
♀ Member
Member # 19047
Default  Posted: 10:02 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sadtoo

dear god........i hope it will not come to that!! What a nightmare for you.

I can, however, see myself having to do the video tape inventory, and placing all of his stuff in storage somewhere. I'm quite sure he will accuse me of having gotten rid of "his things" otherwise.

I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop on this one. His email to me after his appearance today "sounds" like he has washed his hands of it all, but I'm quite sure that will not be the case.

I'm back to limbo, waiting for the next big 'thing'....

Thanks everyone for being here, and my prayers are with you all and everything we are each dealing with with these nutjobs....


Me - BS....living a wonderful new beginning and giving love another chance

Tulsa Area Coffee Buddy


Posts: 2443 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: in the middle, somewhat elevated
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