My youngest called him tonight and told the ex that if he didn't give me the phone number in 2 days he wants nothing to do with his dad again. Little guy is 12 so I am pretty sure he won't hold to it but still it was his way of standing up to his dad.
Of course the ex didn't answer the phone. When he called back hours later he tells son he was doing laundry so he was too busy to answer the phone. Then he went off on son screaming at him and having a total melt down. He was telling son I can't deny him access for not giving me the phone number. (yup I can and have with the support of the child protection order who will be contacting him in the next few days).
His freaking phone number is more important than his kids. How pathetic can you get?
The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.
A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.
He is a fucking tool squared.
May fiberglass insulation have been mixed in with his laundry.
I read your D/S thread, and I truly feel that you nailed it completely when you labeled your ex "nutjob."
It's ludicrous to throw such a tantrum (with his son no less) over a stupid, frickin' phone number.
But hey, tantrums are what N's are good at, right?
[This message edited by janedoe99 at 10:16 PM, April 29th (Tuesday)]
*npd -- the gift that keeps on giving *
[This message edited by veritas at 10:31 PM, April 29th (Tuesday)]
I just hope that all this fuss doesn't get her to cancel her wedding plans. I want him to get married so he leave us alone. She deserves whatever she gets.
I've been seeing "NPD Freak" sightings all over SI the last couple days.
What the hell is up with these idiots?
Did they get a memo?
Fucking Asshat*Fucktarding Tools.
I'm so sorry for all that have to deal with these people. It is so sad, so unresolvable. Crap with these folks never ends. I'm starting to understand what it is said about Ns when people ignore them/detach from them. They seem to just freak out ratchet up their freak game. I'm starting to understand what is meant by the Ns thinking they own/still own us. Understanding more and more how the whole "lightbulbs and toasters" thing manifests itself. They really don't care. Can't care and we really are objects, and very unfortunately, so are our kids.
What a challange it is dealing with these idiots. Ugh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BoB (Just a rambling/ranting).
I hear you!! I am sooo thankful that I am not planning to waste one extra second of my life on this shithead...
This is one of the reasons I have not completely fucked his world over, because I want his OW to want him in the worst way!
Please, please take him off my hands!!
I am doing one slightly subtle thing tomorrow that I hope will just send him reeling wiht thoughts of what *could* happen.
When I found his old laptop with about 6 months of emails to the OW (from the very beginning of the affair), I saw names and email addresses of friends of hers who they had seen socially. One is the CEO of the hospital in OWs hometown (perhaps her boss) another is a high-powered lawyer, who i'm sure the Cap'n would be sucking up to, another is on staff to a state representative who holds some sway over WH's clients.
I have left out a piece of paper with all of their names, addresses and phone numbers. I don't know if WH will see it or examine it tomorrow while he is here, but if he does it will be priceless. I might not get to see a visual reacation to it, but I can just imagine the way his stomach might churn and it will be worth it. Just the thought that I might (or could) contact these people and out him to them is priceless.
Tulsa Area Coffee Buddy
D-day 12/06/07,day b4 b-day admitted 2 wk EA.
Success is failure turned inside out.
"Illusion never changed into something real." Torn - Natalie Imbrulia.
Divored n Feb 09
Wait up. He's angry with DS for not having a pencil? Or he's mad because he had to spend a freaking dollar on some pencils? Or he's mad at you because you so obviously sent DS without a pencil to intentionally cause him a hassle? What a freak. I have a similar story from last night - was it a full moon? I'm going to post it next. Be strong.
[This message edited by woundedby2 at 12:31 PM, April 30th (Wednesday)]
Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson
STBXH - Dad of the Year - drops the kids off 45 minutes early (another story). After he is gone, DD9 is crying because "Daddy is so mean to me." I find out that she asked him to buy her some school supplies to have at his apartment so she can do her homework without having to lug everything over there all the time. He refused saying that "she has all that stuff at home." What an ass.
They were at the mall, where there is a WalMart, for God's sake. She asked him to buy her pencils, a sharpener and markers - not a laptop computer! What a way to show your daughter that you care. Seriously, $5.00 worth of supplies for homework? So I am left to deal with the 45 minutes of crying and "It's just not fair to me", "Dad is always mean to me", "I don't want to go to his apartment", etc.
He is pissed off because I won't allow him to have visitation in MY HOME anymore because he chose to violate my trust by snooping and deleting things from the computer. So now he's taking it out on the kids to show them that it is my fault that they are inconvenienced. He is insistent on having his visitation every weekday from 4:00 to 6:00 and has agreed to supervise the homework. He "won't give up any of his time with the kids" even though they don't want to be there, and he really doesn't know what to do with them or how to treat them. I'm sure it's his attorney that is telling him that he won't give up any time with the kids. Once again - Dad of the Year.
They are all bloody mad!
It must be the moon. Mine keeps putting "how sad he is without you, brazil" in his away message on his IM's. I've told him GO, GO, GO -- his company has an office down there -- OOPS, my bad, the GM whom he thought was such a good friend recommended that he never go down there on company time again. Apparently, he spent all of his time either drunk, high, or whoring, and made several huge mistakes that cost the company a lot of money. And we all know how much an American without a company expense account and overnight bonuses can party in Brazil, particularly if he is dark-skinned (ie, not at all -- it's a very segregated country, particularly in socioeconomic matters).
[This message edited by veritas at 4:23 PM, April 30th (Wednesday)]
I was at the house with my BFF, we were sitting in the living room surfing for fixtures for her bathroom remodel He showed up almost on time - a miracle! - I had the house unlocked so that he would not know that the locks have been changed. He came in, went into the bathroom (UGH!), then walked to the foyer and said hello, ladies. We said hello back. He asked if we planned to stay while he was there. I said, "yes." He asked, "when can I have unsupervised access?" I said, "You can't." He said, "ok"...I said, "ok"
and he left.
Now, he had driven an hour and a half to get to the house, and he turned around and drove another hour and a half to get back to his apartment and then sent me an e-mail about how sad he is, and about how he had an "honest" expectation that I would "respect" his request for unsupervised access (yes, he used "honest" and "respect" in the same sentence!) I had, in fact, told him previously that I would arrange for someone to be there that day. I never responded (total NC) to his assumption that there would be no one there. I did not go back on a promise I made to him to to give him access.
Anyway, the gist of the email is that he is pouting and says that he will just give up any hope of being able to get his "things" but acknowledges that they are just things and he will replace them. He ended his email with "Thanks."
and to that I say, "you're welcome."
They are got spring fever which is making them nuts. I was looking back in the emails and my ex usually pulls stuff like this after not seeing the kids for months between January and April. This makes 5 years with the same pattern. Scary
no, seriously. It will just stay status quo....it's his stuff...i'm not going to exert myself moving it or dealing with it. If we sell the house and his stuff is still there - so be it.
The next episode will be waiting to see if he ponies up the temporary support that was ordered earlier this month. He has until May 5 and if it doesn't show up, we'll go to court to enforce the temporary orders......
My theory is that this is just another way to avoid giving to the spouse in a relationship.
[This message edited by dreamlife at 9:16 PM, April 30th (Wednesday)]
He would fax (yes fax, who does that anymore?) list after list of his demands of what he considered HIS property. It was all of his premarital property and all of my premarital property and every nice marital thing we owned. It was insane. This went on for over a year. He REFUSED to settle and continued to tell the judge that I won't give him his stuff.
I ended up going through everything and sorting our out premarital property and dividing (fairly) our marital property. Then I video taped each thing and marked it with a number. Then I put each number on a list and wrote down what it was. Then I hauled it all out to the curb.
This worked out quite well as my XNPDH was a stalking freak and watched the house and every move I made. It wasn't long before he had called the police to tell them that I was putting "all of HIS things out for trash."
When the police came to the door, they asked what I was doing and I said that I was cleaning my garage. They asked me if the stuff at the curb was his, and I said, "I didn't think he wanted it, but he's more than welcome to it. Please stay while he loads it up."
XNPDH and OW loaded his shit in the rain.
The police came back to tell me that he was finished. I gave my itimized list to the police officer and asked him to have XNPDH sign it acknowledging that he had recieved his things.
XNPDH jumped up and down, threw a fit, was refusing to sign until the police threatened to take him to jail. He signed.
I took the list to court and showed it to the judge along with the video of all the things I gave him. Even though XNPDH cried and fought for more, the judge said he had enough and forced him to sign off on our divorce.
This is not how I would recommend doing property exchange, but when you're dealing with a lunatic who is all about control and only has the vocabulary of "Mine, Mine, Mine..." it might be a last resort alternative.
[This message edited by sadtoo at 9:18 PM, April 30th (Wednesday)]
When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
OC born 2001 (I didn't know)
Remarried 2008 (Happy!)
dear god........i hope it will not come to that!! What a nightmare for you.
I can, however, see myself having to do the video tape inventory, and placing all of his stuff in storage somewhere. I'm quite sure he will accuse me of having gotten rid of "his things" otherwise.
I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop on this one. His email to me after his appearance today "sounds" like he has washed his hands of it all, but I'm quite sure that will not be the case.
I'm back to limbo, waiting for the next big 'thing'....
Thanks everyone for being here, and my prayers are with you all and everything we are each dealing with with these nutjobs....