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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: N.P.D. Thread part VI
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 11:16 AM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lied,
He is such a tool. Then, I guess, all of these PD types are. LOL.

I had a student recently D&D me. LOL. Cool !!! She is no longer my problem. She switched out of my class too.

It's funny seeing these types with new eyes. It helps to explain a lot of behavior I've seen in people over the years.

I hope the last days of this summer are more peaceful for all. May the disordered find someone else to torment and leave us all alone. Or better yet, may they hook up with other PDs and torment each other. LOL.

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 10:06 PM, August 2nd (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mines being nice again. Kinda makes me nervous. Not sure what the hell he is up to.

He's also trying to get out of paying the bills he's supposed to pay. Maybe he thinks that I will pay them.

What he doesn't know that for every bill I have to pay he is getting contempt charges filed on him.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4488 | Registered: Feb 2008
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 3:05 PM, August 4th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, I had a nice Saturday evening and Sunday with my kids. The peace was shattered an hour after I arrived at work with a phone call from the NPD STBXH. If everything does not go his way, then I am inflexible. It's my fault the kids don't want to spend any extra time with him. It's my fault that the attorney's bills are mounting.

ETA: possible lurker

[This message edited by woundedby2 at 1:57 AM, August 7th (Thursday)]


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7633 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 5:44 PM, August 4th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He can't charge you with kidnapping if you don't do what he wants. Let him try.

As the kids get older they will want less and less to do with him. Mine have gotten that way. They have other things they would rather do and they find being around him boring.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 6:30 PM, August 4th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


STBXH wants to take the kids during my custodial time this week. I'm not sure how to proceed. If I don't let him take the kids during my custodial time, it will be my fault that they didn't get to do the Disney Dad activities. If I do, well then, he's won this battle.

I don't really have to let him have the kids when it's my custodial time, do I?

eta: possible lurker

[This message edited by woundedby2 at 2:03 AM, August 7th (Thursday)]


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7633 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 6:38 PM, August 4th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No. You don't.
Stick with the letter of the law/previously documented order.
No changes.

You did what you are supposed to do.
NC with these bastards = no more emotional manipulation.

F'm.


Posts: 6012 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 10:16 PM, August 4th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wounded, I was planning on going somewhere with the kids one weekend this summer I asked my attorney about it because it fell on one of his weekend days with the kids. She told me that as long as I gave him enought notice that there was nothing he could do. I also offered him a few more hours during the week to make up for his lost time with the kids. You might ask your attorney if the same thing applies to you. My attorney told me that he would just have to get over it.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4488 | Registered: Feb 2008
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 1:14 AM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ughh, you guys, this NPD shit is just wearing me down. Had to call the N to discuss visitation tomorrow. Of course we launched into old hurts and blaming and accusations. He sees that he has nothing wrong and continues to do nothing wrong. Our marital history has been completely rewritten, as has the relationship that I had with OW. The problems in the marriage were mine, and I was not willing to do anything to change them. I was never there for him. I never supported him. I never respected him.

Maybe it was good to get some of it out, but it's so draining. I feel like shit. On the verge of tears. I want so badly to talk to someone, but the kids are up, and I don't want them to see my crying.

Oh, and he still says he wants 50% custody....

Sure could use some hugs tonight. ((((Tribe))))

[This message edited by woundedby2 at 2:07 AM, August 7th (Thursday)]


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7633 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 5:49 AM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

morning hugs (((((w2))))

Posts: 6012 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 10:18 AM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((WB2)))

May his tastebuds fail which puts him into a state of utter paranoia which puts him into the doctors office for the next two weeks as the run many tests to determine the cause of this ailment.

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((w2))) May I offer a suggestion? Quit allowing numbnuts to alter the separation agreement. From now on treat it like rock. No more pick-ups except what has already been agreed upon, and certainly, no more discussions about whether you've been reasonable. Haven't you put yourself through enough? Every time you do something nice for this asshole, he tries to push just that one more inch. Every time you agree to break your custody agreement, you weaken your own case for having custody and you let him know that he has the power to make you bend any time he thinks about it. It's time to let him go.


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 1:33 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks, everyone for the hugs and support.

Veritas, I know this is what I need to do. He pushes and pushes and twists. Then he gets me bent over backward and then I've lost the battle.

And I am the one who suffers. My day yesterday was half-shot and it's still continuing on today. I need to go back to NC with him. Asshat.

[This message edited by woundedby2 at 2:10 AM, August 7th (Thursday)]


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7633 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 2:12 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wounded, at the very least, if you do break the agreement to favor him, let him know he has exactly one shot at getting a yes out of you: either he agrees to the terms you dictate or they don't go. No more discussion. The next time he talks about you to the kids, talk to your lawyer or the parental coordinator/GAL. He's not reaonable and he ain't right. You don't have to discuss or justify jack dookey.


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 5:03 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I also get Very Worried when my Freak is "too nice".

Saw IC. She said I have made really great process in not obsessing about N & in Moving On.
She remembers how *shattered* I was back in 06...and how he dominated each & every session.

It takes TIME.Baby steps...

And: Thank God we never ever had children!


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
Longlost
♀ Member
Member # 16177
Default  Posted: 8:54 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Tribe)))
Wish I could make it all better!

LL


Wisdom and pain are not mutually exclusive.
____________________________
Barn's burnt down--
Now I can see the moon.
--Mizuta Masahide

Posts: 288 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: West of Bizarro World
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 11:32 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

W2 every time you compromise with him in any way he takes it as a cue that he can get you to change something else. He will push until he can't push you any more. You have to draw the line in the sand and not let him step over it. The agreement is already put in place. It is not up to you to change that agreement. It just gives him a foothold to manipulate the situation further.

Mine played that game and I now refuse to play. He needs a reason to blame me for something so I would rather have it be him refusing to comply with the agreement (in my case it is the legally required phone number). It leves him no recourse in the courts or anywhere else. Any time you allow him to manipluate you like this it will take that much longer for him to stay behind the line. It is not worht the fight it causes over and over. I refused to spend my life getting him to do what he was supposed to do. If the kids spend less time with their father because he doesn't like the law and the agreement, oh well.


(((((HUGS)))))


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
Heartless Bytchh
♀ Member
Member # 12347
Default  Posted: 11:55 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I got a TM today that FOTY is going to put in for time off later this month for the few days surrounding Niki's and my Bday.
I've been having a hed time dealing with that day coming up and I don't know what I'm going to do that day.

I don't want him here around me.
I do better when he's not around me.
I need y'alls advice.
WHat do I do?

DO I tell him to stay at his bro's house?
And just send DS down there to be w/him?


Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit

Posts: 6061 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 12:35 AM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Tribe))))

I want to thank each of you for your hugs, support, advice, and even the gentle 2x4s that you have given me. I talked to my lawyer today, and she said the same things to me. And I don't even have to pay you guys!!


Lied -- You still don't have that phone number? He's really a tool.

HB -- I think you should ask him to stay at his brother's place with DS. Unless you think you need to have DS with you. Can you spend your birthday with a friend or other family members? I hate for you to be all alone, but he's just going to mess with you I think.

[This message edited by woundedby2 at 2:09 AM, August 7th (Thursday)]


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7633 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
Heartless Bytchh
♀ Member
Member # 12347
Default  Posted: 1:13 AM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm thinking about sending him an email to tell him I don't want him here and he needs to stay at Bro's house.

That way I can organize my thought s and say it the way I want.
He's a 'Tard, he's always been a "Tard, he'll always be a "Tard.
Hey! that would be a good siggy line!

Dang, I crack myself up.

I called the Dr. today and had him increas my meds because I don't think they were helping me enough.
I don't plan on being on them forever.
Just til I can deal with everything on my own and get my inner strength and self back to where I need to be.


Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit

Posts: 6061 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 4:49 AM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HB,I think you should send him that e-mail. Make it crystal clear to him that you don't want him around at such an emotionally-charged time!
All the "firsts" of that year are very painful...its like I had to re-learn everything in my life all over again.

Huge hugs, sweetie!


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
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