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Understanding the 180
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180 is for you to detach not to get back together , it gives prespective to your unique situation.In the mean time you doing 180 will be noticed by your spouse, yes it will ,you are doing something he/she doesn't expect, you are not begging , hounding etc, they wonder what's going on. Late you may want to stop 180 and make contact to see if they get it , if they don't keep it up it is for you to gain strength , and prespective.
Outstanding! Thanks for putting the 180 that way. I grasp the purpose more now. Thank you!
This has helped me save my sanity! It was one of the best things I could've read!
My D-Day is around 7 mos ago. I have been a total emotional mess and have acted completely opposite of the man I truly am. I'm tired of being the man I have been acting like lately. Is it too late to start my 180? Have I waited too long for it to be effective? I wonder if I start 180 now will it undo any progress we have made in our R? Our R has been slow and she has been unable to show true remorse until recently. She says its because the A happened 19 yrs ago and she has already dealt with it. She swears that there was only 1 physical encounter with him and that there have been no others and I'm supposed to just believe that and act like nothing happened. Inside I feel like starting the 180 because I'm really tired of being this pathetic man. My gut is telling me to move out for a while. I moved her out at first and ended up begging like an impotent ass. She rejected me at first but later came back although it seemed like charity. I hate that. She is now showing true remorse but I think I need to go back and give myself some measure of control over my life. Right now she is holding all the cards. I have never been in this position before and that's why I'm having doubts. I've always been very assertive and in control of myself. I want that back. What do you guys think?
[This message edited by played-a-fool at 11:04 AM, September 8th (Wednesday)]
Played, Don't think it's too late. As you probably know the 180 empowers you! It also shows your spouse you not co-dependant. Did you mention polygraph? I've read that most WSs cave when faced with that. Some even hold out until they hit the parking lot of the examiners office. I'm seriously considering it if my FWW keeps on with the "I don't know, I can't remember" bullshit!
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