SurvivingInfidelity.com® > Just Found Out
Understanding the 180
bumping to page one...
Thanks for bumping this up so I could find it! I found the author's site (that came up with the technique) and she explains that it's for yourself first....it doesn't mean it will get your spouse back, but it will put you in a better place to handle whatever may come along.....yes, a "side affect" could be to get your WS's attention again, but it won't save your marriage per se. You BOTH have to want to "fix it". The list in the FAQ's is just specific things to do or not to do as it pertains to your WS. You have to be flexible to modify it as needed, too...such as the part that says do not say I love you. When my WH says he loves me first, I will still say it back, but I don't initiate it now. It is hard to apply the technique at times, especially when you're feeling pretty low or mad, but as explained, it's for you, NOT to get your WS back.
Thanks this is so well written !! Trying to implement the 180 myself and this really helps me understand!!
Thanks for taking the time to write this.
I did this 180....and am glad i did. Thanks SerJR.
bump for newbies
"11) Remember what has worked for you in the past. Likely beneath all the doubts, fears, recriminations, and self-criticism that are swirling around your head, you hear a few faint and muffled words of your own good advice telling you what is good for you. This counsel may be barely audible, but listen carefully to it. You already have everything you need to be happy, including the wisdom you have developed over your life so far. "
This part rings so true to me. If I had listened to that little inner voice that was trying to scream at me but all I was hearing was a whisper .. I would be in such a better place. Thank you for clarifying the 180 ... it's hard to see through the "fog" when, especially being a BS, the pain hurts so much.
bump for notsohopeful
[This message edited by WHATDOIDONEXT at 11:50 AM, November 10th (Wednesday)]