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Understanding the 180

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bufffalo posted 10/25/2010 22:09 PM

bumping to page one...

takilasunrise posted 10/26/2010 09:16 AM

Thanks for bumping this up so I could find it! I found the author's site (that came up with the technique) and she explains that it's for yourself first....it doesn't mean it will get your spouse back, but it will put you in a better place to handle whatever may come along.....yes, a "side affect" could be to get your WS's attention again, but it won't save your marriage per se. You BOTH have to want to "fix it". The list in the FAQ's is just specific things to do or not to do as it pertains to your WS. You have to be flexible to modify it as needed, too...such as the part that says do not say I love you. When my WH says he loves me first, I will still say it back, but I don't initiate it now. It is hard to apply the technique at times, especially when you're feeling pretty low or mad, but as explained, it's for you, NOT to get your WS back.

september7 posted 10/26/2010 13:50 PM

Thanks this is so well written !! Trying to implement the 180 myself and this really helps me understand!!

Thanks for taking the time to write this.

bufffalo posted 10/28/2010 09:35 AM

I did this 180....and am glad i did. Thanks SerJR.

bufffalo

WHATDOIDONEXT posted 10/31/2010 18:30 PM

bump for newbies

booger bear posted 11/2/2010 21:19 PM

newbie bump

Cee64D posted 11/7/2010 13:43 PM

Bumparooni

Llanden posted 11/7/2010 21:05 PM

"11) Remember what has worked for you in the past. Likely beneath all the doubts, fears, recriminations, and self-criticism that are swirling around your head, you hear a few faint and muffled words of your own good advice telling you what is good for you. This counsel may be barely audible, but listen carefully to it. You already have everything you need to be happy, including the wisdom you have developed over your life so far. "

This part rings so true to me. If I had listened to that little inner voice that was trying to scream at me but all I was hearing was a whisper .. I would be in such a better place. Thank you for clarifying the 180 ... it's hard to see through the "fog" when, especially being a BS, the pain hurts so much.

WHATDOIDONEXT posted 11/10/2010 11:50 AM

bump for notsohopeful

[This message edited by WHATDOIDONEXT at 11:50 AM, November 10th (Wednesday)]

hard_yards posted 11/11/2010 11:41 AM

bump

bigpicture3236 posted 11/14/2010 06:21 AM

bump

AttemptStrength posted 11/15/2010 12:18 PM

bump

lordhasaplan? posted 11/17/2010 14:12 PM

BUMP

bufffalo posted 11/23/2010 09:41 AM

bump

bufffalo posted 11/25/2010 23:09 PM

bump

socold posted 12/4/2010 10:32 AM

b

socold posted 12/7/2010 17:07 PM

u

socold posted 12/10/2010 17:50 PM

m

UKgirl posted 12/12/2010 11:16 AM

p

socold posted 12/21/2010 18:33 PM

bump

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