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Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Understanding the 180
jb3199
♂ Member
Member # 27673
Default  Posted: 1:10 PM, July 10th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


BH-46
WW-44
2 boys-17 & 20(special needs)
Married 21yrs.(together 27yrs.)

All work and no play has just cost me my wife--Gary Puckett
D-Day: 9/18/09 D-Day#2: 2/19/10 The Marriage Killer: 6/6/11
Heading for D


Posts: 1991 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: northeast
bufffalo
♂ Member
Member # 21854
Default  Posted: 8:17 PM, July 11th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


DDay 9/25/2008
R started 11/10/08
BH-me

Posts: 5810 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Texas
bumbed
♀ Member
Member # 31024
Default  Posted: 12:58 AM, July 17th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump as well all need to really do this for us


I rather suspect like all the worst things in life, making sense of it will not happen.


25 year relationship D day 1/28/11
The we door is closed but the ME doors are opening


Posts: 471 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: a better place in Michiagn
Fighting2Survive
♀ Member
Member # 28410
Default  Posted: 10:31 PM, July 18th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces


Posts: 7279 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: NC
this_sucks
♂ New Member
Member # 32842
Default  Posted: 3:41 PM, July 20th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WTF is bump?

Posts: 10 | Registered: Jul 2011
socold
♂ Member
Member # 17400
Default  Posted: 3:53 PM, July 20th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We are bumping the thread to the top of the listing by putting a response on it. These are threads that have "stood the test of time" and have been deemed worthy of getting bumped back up to the top so that new people have a better chance of seeing them.


(me)fBH 35
D-Day Dec 9, 2007
D final Oct 19th 2010

Posts: 2584 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: in a van down by the river
Rise_Above
♀ Member
Member # 23674
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, July 21st (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


You can live the way you believe this is your opportunity to let your life be one that lights the way~F.Battistelli

*****
God's hand was an avocado branch


Posts: 14226 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: Chrys a lis
Fighting2Survive
♀ Member
Member # 28410
Default  Posted: 8:24 PM, July 23rd (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces


Posts: 7279 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: NC
bufffalo
♂ Member
Member # 21854
Default  Posted: 5:14 PM, July 27th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


DDay 9/25/2008
R started 11/10/08
BH-me

Posts: 5810 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Texas
bumbed
♀ Member
Member # 31024
Default  Posted: 5:33 PM, July 29th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


I rather suspect like all the worst things in life, making sense of it will not happen.


25 year relationship D day 1/28/11
The we door is closed but the ME doors are opening


Posts: 471 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: a better place in Michiagn
Cee64D
♂ Member
Member # 21836
Default  Posted: 5:44 AM, July 30th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


The hardest part of forgiveness is accepting it from others...
Me BH 44
Clarrissa FWW 44
D-Day 04 Oct, 2008

Posts: 2740 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Ohio
UnsettledOne
♂ Member
Member # 32952
Default  Posted: 2:32 PM, August 4th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


BH 60

Posts: 176 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: Walking toward the light
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 7:50 AM, August 5th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10)

Posts: 1861 | Registered: Nov 2010
bufffalo
♂ Member
Member # 21854
Default  Posted: 6:35 PM, August 9th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


DDay 9/25/2008
R started 11/10/08
BH-me

Posts: 5810 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Texas
pbej3
♀ New Member
Member # 32400
Default  Posted: 7:05 PM, August 9th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am not sure I am really understanding this. I thought I was doing the 180 but now I don't think I was. I haven't really been focusing on myself. I have been focusing on ignoring my WH. I ignore him unless there is something I can't ignore like talking about a home repair or something. I feel guilty when I plan something fun for myself. I desperately want to take a vacation and think I haven't made plans because I don't want to hurt his feelings and am not sure I will enjoy going by myself. I don't want to go with my WH but all my friends are married and wouldn't consider doing something without their spouse.
I have been feeling frustrated because it is clear he doesn't get it. He does absolutely nothing to reach out to me. He isn't mean, just acts uninterested. I think he is waiting for me to reach out to him - like I usually do. So- am I right to ignore? I can look more at myself, be more introspective but is there anything else? I think I need a new IC, mine isn't very helpful.


Me- BW 52
Him - WH 56
Married 28+ yrs
DD 5/17/11
2 kids- 24 & 26
Undecided about R

Posts: 11 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Indiana
annb
♀ Member
Member # 22386
Default  Posted: 8:50 AM, August 12th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump.

Posts: 7389 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: Northeast
Cee64D
♂ Member
Member # 21836
Default  Posted: 8:25 PM, August 13th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


The hardest part of forgiveness is accepting it from others...
Me BH 44
Clarrissa FWW 44
D-Day 04 Oct, 2008

Posts: 2740 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Ohio
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 9:03 AM, August 14th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10)

Posts: 1861 | Registered: Nov 2010
fragilehwc
♀ Member
Member # 32783
Default  Posted: 10:57 AM, August 15th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


dday 7/10/2011
ME = BW 44yo
HER = WW 55YO
3 spoiled rotten dogs
I am a strong woman
if difficulties make you stronger this shit is going to make me unapproachable in a dark alley.

Posts: 178 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: carolina
Llanden
♀ Member
Member # 10402
Default  Posted: 7:20 PM, August 15th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best."
“Who makes everything we experience happen? You. You have all the weapons you need. Now fight!” Sweat Pea from Sucker Punch
BS 35
DD's 14, 7 and 5

Posts: 567 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: New York
Topic Posts: 542
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