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Newest Member: westernlady1124 (45344)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Understanding the 180
DeadMumWalking
♀ Member
Member # 25341
Default  Posted: 3:57 PM, October 26th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


Me (BS), Him (WH): early 50's
3 DS: teens!!! :)
M: 25 (19 1/2 at Dday), Together 30
Dday: Dec 2008
Limbo-ish, again (after multiple S) -- weighing my options

Posts: 2606 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: EU
Take2
♀ Member
Member # 23890
Default  Posted: 7:09 AM, October 31st (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump!


"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

Posts: 4129 | Registered: May 2009 | From: New England
bufffalo
♂ Member
Member # 21854
Default  Posted: 2:09 AM, November 1st (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


DDay 9/25/2008
R started 11/10/08
BH-me

Posts: 5828 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Texas
lordhasaplan?
♂ Member
Member # 30079
Default  Posted: 8:36 AM, November 5th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
No life should be passively relinquished due to the toxicity of others and taking steps to protect yourself may very well be the most important steps you will ever take.

Posts: 1909 | Registered: Nov 2010
bufffalo
♂ Member
Member # 21854
Default  Posted: 9:48 AM, November 11th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


DDay 9/25/2008
R started 11/10/08
BH-me

Posts: 5828 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Texas
MrsConsistency
♀ Member
Member # 32065
Default  Posted: 6:50 PM, November 12th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't think the 180 is for everyone. It's for people who care more about themselves than their M, those willing to walk away at that point if they don't get "the result".

If you're the overinvested partner then you won't be willing to leave. If you have a "higher agenda" to stay and fight to keep OW out of the kids lives then you won't risk detachment being his "proof you're over".

Detatchment and moving on and not iniating are all self fulfilling if the timing is wrong.


Me - BW
Him - WH
HER - Married OW who will never go away
DDay #1 2/15/11
DDay #2 5/10/11
WH on the fence until 7/1/11
Trying to stay together bearably
I will never be the same (and that's a bad thing)

Posts: 349 | Registered: May 2011
little turtle
♀ Member
Member # 15584
Default  Posted: 8:39 AM, November 16th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you're not looking out for yourself, then who is?


Failure is success if we learn from it.

Posts: 4202 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: michigan
HardenMyHeart
♂ Member
Member # 15902
Default  Posted: 12:35 AM, November 22nd (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


Me: BH, Her: FWW - Long Term EA/PA
d-day: June 25, 2007
Married 30 years, Reconciled

Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.


Posts: 5695 | Registered: Aug 2007
unarmbears
♀ Member
Member # 7480
Default  Posted: 8:37 PM, November 24th (Thursday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bumping


FBS-Me, 61
FWH-Him, 55
2 Sons 26 and 31
2 Daughters 29, 25 And 4 darling grandchildren!
"Love is an impulsive act, it's free. It's the story we tell about it afterward that's our poverty." Byron Katie

Posts: 4891 | Registered: Jun 2005 | From: From where the trees lean east...
Lost and Betraye
Member
Member # 33988
Default  Posted: 10:48 AM, November 30th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

for us newbies


Me=BS 50; Him=WS 46; Dday 11/10/11
Married 13 years; together 20
Kids: DD11;(2) grown boys/men from my previous marriage to a WS
Status: Divorcing

"The past is a guidepost, not a hitching post" L Thomas Holdcroft


Posts: 317 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: CA
bufffalo
♂ Member
Member # 21854
Default  Posted: 1:01 AM, December 6th (Tuesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


DDay 9/25/2008
R started 11/10/08
BH-me

Posts: 5828 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Texas
emptyheart
♀ Member
Member # 18873
Default  Posted: 10:28 AM, December 11th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump for newbies


Me - BW, Him - WH
2 great kids that are my reason for living.
1st D-Day - March 28, 2008
False R for a year
2nd D-Day - April 11, 2009

Posts: 1131 | Registered: Mar 2008
sudra
♀ Member
Member # 30143
Default  Posted: 10:06 PM, December 11th (Sunday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


Me (BW) (55), Him(SAWH) (58)
Married 22 years, 1 son (19), 1 stepdaughter (27)
DDay #1 January 2004
DDay #2 7-27-2010 7 month EA/PA (became "engaged" to OW before he told me he wanted a divorce)
Working on R

Posts: 1497 | Registered: Nov 2010
bufffalo
♂ Member
Member # 21854
Default  Posted: 12:14 AM, December 16th (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


DDay 9/25/2008
R started 11/10/08
BH-me

Posts: 5828 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Texas
unarmbears
♀ Member
Member # 7480
Default  Posted: 10:04 PM, December 17th (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


FBS-Me, 61
FWH-Him, 55
2 Sons 26 and 31
2 Daughters 29, 25 And 4 darling grandchildren!
"Love is an impulsive act, it's free. It's the story we tell about it afterward that's our poverty." Byron Katie

Posts: 4891 | Registered: Jun 2005 | From: From where the trees lean east...
Lost and Betraye
Member
Member # 33988
Default  Posted: 10:43 PM, December 19th (Monday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


Me=BS 50; Him=WS 46; Dday 11/10/11
Married 13 years; together 20
Kids: DD11;(2) grown boys/men from my previous marriage to a WS
Status: Divorcing

"The past is a guidepost, not a hitching post" L Thomas Holdcroft


Posts: 317 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: CA
bufffalo
♂ Member
Member # 21854
Default  Posted: 1:03 AM, December 23rd (Friday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


DDay 9/25/2008
R started 11/10/08
BH-me

Posts: 5828 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Texas
cass
♀ Member
Member # 24261
Default  Posted: 12:19 PM, December 28th (Wednesday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump for newbies


DDay - April 2008
Me - 54 and doing great. Found myself again and loving life
Him - who??

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone (Johnny Nash)

Those who stir the shit soup get to lick the spoon!


Posts: 4965 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: UK
unarmbears
♀ Member
Member # 7480
Default  Posted: 7:04 PM, December 31st (Saturday), 2011View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump

Happy New Year


FBS-Me, 61
FWH-Him, 55
2 Sons 26 and 31
2 Daughters 29, 25 And 4 darling grandchildren!
"Love is an impulsive act, it's free. It's the story we tell about it afterward that's our poverty." Byron Katie

Posts: 4891 | Registered: Jun 2005 | From: From where the trees lean east...
Fighting2Survive
♀ Member
Member # 28410
Default  Posted: 11:12 PM, January 3rd (Tuesday), 2012View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well

"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces


Posts: 7279 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: NC
Topic Posts: 555
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