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Understanding the 180

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betterintime posted 2/7/2009 12:04 PM

Thanks SerJR! Great Post, especially for all the new members............

for everyone, have you found any specific 180 behaviors that have helped you?

thanks again everybody

betterdaysahead posted 2/19/2009 10:47 AM

bump

conflictedheart posted 2/19/2009 10:56 AM

Thanks for bumping this.

betterdaysahead posted 2/20/2009 09:43 AM

bumped for IKN

ETA sorry INK

[This message edited by betterdaysahead at 9:44 AM, February 20th (Friday)]

FastForward posted 2/24/2009 09:25 AM

sofresh posted 2/24/2009 10:32 AM

if WS has KISA syndrome, won't being so confident push them away?

sofresh posted 2/27/2009 11:09 AM

I hate the fact that the 180 acknowledges that the WS is till in your home...does it also assume they are still seeing the other person,...I mean how does one put up with this?!

TraumaMamma posted 2/27/2009 12:56 PM

I have been kind of doing some of this already.

My WS is so self centered he wants to know why when he doesn't tell me something it is not ok and I when I pull away it is ok.

I am having a hard time wrapping my brain around this whole 180 thing. We still live together, his mistress so to speak are his adoring bodybuilder friends and band groupies, both of which he has tainted for me to enjoy because of flirting and affairs. (and I never really got into either of those venues anyways).

He maintains his innocence and "only had a ONS" and did not see his pages and pages of comments to women and flirtations as hurtful to me.

And he actually accused me of being dishonest and not going in early last nite to work for training. I called on speaker phone so he could hear I did indeed have to go in early.

So my 180 when it takes me away from him, is met with distrust.

I guess since he has been dishonest, it is hard to believe the other person could actually be doing what they say they are, right?

I realize the 180 is about me, and it is pissing off the WS as he believes it is about HIM.

[This message edited by TraumaMamma at 12:57 PM, February 27th (Friday)]

SerJR posted 3/7/2009 19:21 PM

Self care tips added in

Rella posted 3/8/2009 18:42 PM

Continuing the Bump

sofresh posted 3/9/2009 10:02 AM

My WS is so self centered he wants to know why when he doesn't tell me something it is not ok and I when I pull away it is ok.

I have the same problem, and I agree with your sentiments...
They assume we are being dishonest because that's all they know right now.
My WH actually said something about me going to church...like sure that's where you were.

brohl5 posted 3/19/2009 13:53 PM

bumping for newbies

JoePike posted 3/27/2009 06:49 AM

Bumping for newcomers

JoePike posted 4/2/2009 06:53 AM

Bump for Allybam and other newcomers

gracelesslady posted 4/8/2009 13:48 PM

bump

Shared Taxi posted 4/8/2009 14:04 PM

I wish I had read this early on. I completely misunderstood the 180 and avoided it.

HardenMyHeart posted 5/1/2009 23:41 PM

Bumping for newbies.

kluelesskat posted 5/5/2009 01:44 AM

I think it is important to understand that this is for yourself first.

Charli posted 5/11/2009 12:01 PM

bump

itspjw posted 5/12/2009 11:11 AM

bump

gracelesslady posted 6/1/2009 10:06 AM

bumping for newbies

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