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Newest Member: ReasonableDoubt (44577)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Understanding the 180
Rella
♀ Member
Member # 21136
Default  Posted: 4:52 PM, March 10th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


Happily Divorced- final in Oct. 2009, Engaged to my True Love in Dec. 2012

When his family jokingly tells you of how "spoiled" HE was as a child, RUN- It doesn't change when they get older!


Posts: 2206 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: New England
thisissogross
♀ Member
Member # 30294
Default  Posted: 2:59 AM, March 15th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


"A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love." -Friedrich Nietzsche

i edit frequently because i have to


Posts: 234 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: southern us
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 8:52 PM, March 20th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% - and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5000 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
isadora
♀ Member
Member # 29130
Default  Posted: 8:09 PM, March 22nd (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


Me: BW Him: WH
Married: 10 yrs
4 children: DDs 6&4; DSs 2& baby
2 Affairs - 2010 year long PA/EA, 2008 2 month online EA
Multiple D-Days

I can only control myself, no one else. I do not have that kind of power.


Posts: 4505 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Back home again in Indiana
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 1:46 PM, March 26th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren't paying attention to. - Robin Williams

Posts: 16774 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 10:07 PM, April 6th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% - and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5000 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
HardenMyHeart
♂ Member
Member # 15902
Default  Posted: 12:48 AM, April 11th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


Me: BH, Her: FWW - Long Term EA/PA
d-day: June 25, 2007
Married 30 years, Reconciled

Posts: 5630 | Registered: Aug 2007
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, April 16th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump

Posts: 6482 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 7:03 PM, April 20th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% - and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5000 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 4:45 PM, April 21st (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I like the posts about acceptance and forgiveness. My thought is that acceptence is a term for moving out of denial. For me as a BS, for a long time I boated down the Denial River, so to speak, and would not accept the possiblilites that STBXH became the person he did.

I think the term acceptance is just a tool for us all to begin moving on. If we can't accept, we can become very stuck.

Forgiveness is a different term and different concept for me and one that will take a very, very long time. It's a goal for later in life.

Besides the physical side of sharing bodies while married which goes against my core being, the other part about forgiveness for me is that STBXH was fully aware of my core values and went completly against them and showed me tremenous dishonor.

He also dishonored our daughter and continues to do so and lying and deceiving kids is something I simply cannot fathom or understand enough even to process enough to move towards forgiveness. He continues to lie to our daughter but says he's a good father.

So many concepts of A's make forgiveness nearly impossible, even when the anger and denial finally ebb and flow completely away.

This post was much food for thought, though, and I work constantly on the 180 and NC daily.

Thanks, SerJr.


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2187 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
AttemptStrength
♀ Member
Member # 27947
Default  Posted: 9:45 AM, April 22nd (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


BS me
WS him x2 A's
1 autistic DS

I'd never have spent the money on a wedding dress if I knew I was just going to a costume party.


Posts: 1992 | Registered: Mar 2010 | From: Wisconsin
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 5:29 PM, April 28th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% - and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5000 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 7:02 PM, May 8th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% - and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5000 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
Jpapageorge
♂ Member
Member # 31800
Default  Posted: 11:01 PM, May 11th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF

Posts: 1712 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: California
kernel
♀ Member
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 8:03 PM, May 16th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% - and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5000 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
1Faith
♀ Member
Member # 38975
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, May 28th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumping up


"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." - Maya Angelou

Posts: 1105 | Registered: Apr 2013
WakingFromADream
♂ Member
Member # 33934
Default  Posted: 12:35 PM, June 2nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


Me(35) XWW(36) DS(7) DD 11/16/11 EA(PA?) M 11y D 9/3/13

Don't make anyone a priority when you are only an option.


Posts: 1148 | Registered: Nov 2011
BlindSighted2013
♀ New Member
Member # 39423
Default  Posted: 7:55 PM, June 12th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump again


D-Day 5/7/13 discovered his 12 year affair
BS - Me 50
WS - Hubby 51
Married (do I still call it that after this?) 33 yrs

Posts: 22 | Registered: Jun 2013
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 6:30 AM, June 18th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Boomp.

Posts: 6482 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 11:43 AM, June 19th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1272 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
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