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Understanding the 180

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brkn_heartd posted 2/7/2015 22:31 PM

bump

devotedman posted 2/10/2015 15:46 PM

bump to keep with 20/20 hindsight post

Jpapageorge posted 2/21/2015 19:34 PM

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Jpapageorge posted 3/7/2015 18:28 PM

Bump.

oldtimer97 posted 3/20/2015 12:00 PM

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sisoon posted 4/1/2015 16:24 PM

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Ginny posted 4/2/2015 15:32 PM

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Edie posted 4/14/2015 04:03 AM

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Jpapageorge posted 4/19/2015 03:10 AM

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Jpapageorge posted 5/4/2015 02:19 AM

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yearsofpain25 posted 5/20/2015 14:25 PM

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Jpapageorge posted 6/6/2015 03:23 AM

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Jpapageorge posted 7/4/2015 04:22 AM

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jb3199 posted 7/14/2015 08:28 AM

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brkn_heartd posted 8/29/2015 22:52 PM

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mchercheur posted 9/6/2015 08:57 AM

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Jpapageorge posted 10/4/2015 02:15 AM

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Jrazz posted 10/18/2015 11:45 AM

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theDrifter posted 10/20/2015 17:43 PM

It's this part that is the most misunderstood:

The 180 isn't supposed to be a manipulation tactic magically designed to win your WS back - and when it's used that way it doesn't work. It's designed to help you become strong enough to detach and begin building a life without them. If you truly let go of your WS and move on - then (and probably only then) they might actually appreciate what they've lost. If you make empty threats, set boundaries you have no intention of defending, and only "pretend" to move on - your WS will continue to assume you aren't going anywhere. And they'll be right.

The 180 is for the BS - period. If it shakes up the WS enough that they come crawling back, begging for another chance the BS can make a decision at that time whether or not it's worth it to them. The BS must assume that this will not happen and that their WS killed the marriage and its time to detach and move on with life.

sisoon posted 10/28/2015 09:33 AM

bump

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