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Understanding the 180

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gracelesslady posted 6/1/2009 10:06 AM

bumping for newbies

Militarycasualty posted 6/1/2009 16:07 PM

Thanks for the post. It made things more clear for me.

I have been doing the 180 for a few days and it doesn't seem to be going so well. It is just pissing him off. WH is with his parents for the next week then back to Korea. I probably wont see him again until next summer when he picks our daughter up for visitation. By then the D will be long over.

I am finding it hard to be nice and civil when he is pushing the D and wants to be w/ OW who is in a different country for the next 3 years. All through this, I still love him and want him to come home to us. He refuses to think about R because he is talking to her all the time and I know she is convincing him how awful I am and how he is better off without me.

It is also hard to take things slowly since as a recent grad, I need to apply for my license, work on my resume, get a job, sell our house, find a new place to live, enroll my daughter in Kindergarden, and find her before and after care so I can work.

I am just depressed and overwhelmed and not sure where to start. I make lists but end up not really accomplishing much. I found a counselor for my daughter finally because she is pretty messed up by all of this. One thing done off the list a million more to go!

gracelesslady posted 6/1/2009 16:56 PM

(((MC)))

I need to apply for my license, work on my resume, get a job, sell our house, find a new place to live, enroll my daughter in Kindergarden, and find her before and after care so I can work.

As much as you can, focus on these things and getting them done. I know it takes an enormous amount of effort, but getting these things checked off your list will go a long way toward making you feel better, and that will help you to heal. That said, there have been many days for me where I feel like I have been pushing a rock uphill, s I really do know how hard it can be, and sometimes, you just have to fake it 'til you make it.

It is great that you are making lists. Try to make a little more progress every day, and when you do make sure you celebrate that and pat yourself on the back.

Have you found an IC for you?

SerJR posted 7/23/2009 19:06 PM

taintedzodiac posted 7/23/2009 21:18 PM

I bookmarked and read this post every night. It's extremely inspirational and drilling it into my head has helped thus far. Thanks!

nooneeverthought posted 8/4/2009 09:25 AM

bump to page one

gracelesslady posted 8/9/2009 09:20 AM

bump

jewel123 posted 8/11/2009 09:16 AM

bump

HeavyE posted 9/1/2009 22:38 PM

Bump

Scanda posted 9/1/2009 23:11 PM

Bless you for the bump. This is food for my soul.

bufffalo posted 9/5/2009 07:17 AM

bump for the "rookies"!

Thanks SerJr.

bufffalo posted 9/6/2009 21:01 PM

gracelesslady posted 9/15/2009 12:28 PM

bumping for newbies

bufffalo posted 9/19/2009 18:06 PM

bump

ams02 posted 9/19/2009 18:51 PM

Thanks for this....I wish I had seen it right after D-Day as I was/have been doing it completely wrong.

Telling him I love him, still doing everything for him (I am just so used to it by now), even having sex.

And it's weird, because now that I have had some time to process everything, now I regret having sex with him again so soon because that is probably part of the reason why he thinks everything is OK again.

nooneeverthought posted 9/20/2009 17:04 PM

bump

SerJR posted 10/7/2009 13:51 PM

Seeing a few questions raised about the 180 by some newer members

quedagh posted 11/2/2009 23:51 PM

bump

JustKeepSwimmig posted 11/4/2009 13:56 PM

bump

Finesse026 posted 11/4/2009 15:24 PM

I agree with you Ams.....I was so blinded by trying to fix things that I was feeding him cake! H even told me that he knew that I wouldn't leave him!!! Ugh! I told him he better rethink that statement! I don't need H. Since then, 180 baby!!

I don't know if it's helping him, but I don't care. It's helping me an that's the point. I feel stronger each day. Sure I still ge down, but I know I am no out :)

thank you for bumpin this fir the newbies like me!!

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