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Newest Member: TorontoGuy (44195)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Understanding the 180
Ms.Martha
♀ Member
Member # 23951
Default  Posted: 12:37 AM, November 5th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just reminding myself. I feel pretty low now. I say I want him to be gone, but deep down I want him. And so, I just curl up into a ball. Tomorrow I am starting the 180 all over again. I need to take care of me.

Bump for newer persons in this pain.


Posts: 172 | Registered: May 2009
namvari
♂ New Member
Member # 26047
Sad  Posted: 12:38 PM, November 5th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for bumping this. I am particularly depressed tonight .. she's still feeding him stuff that's she's pulling off my computer (I had to lock the comp again). I can't bear to stand the thought that while she's being all open and truthful to him, she insists on living a lie with me!

And to find out yesterday that my grandmother who brought me up is now warded in the hospital just made it too much to handle.

Bumping!


BH
D-day: 29 October 2009, 11.48pm

BS (35) / WS (36)
Married: 9 years, together for 12
2 children (2 & 5)

Still afraid and struggling with guilt ...


Posts: 19 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Southeast Asia
Will Not Be Brok
♀ Member
Member # 21553
Default  Posted: 8:19 AM, November 6th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((namvari)) The 180 is a great way to help yourself out of the pit we have all found ourselves in from time to time. It WILL get better. Believe that!


Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings while the dawn is still dark.

Posts: 539 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Catskills, New York
lyndee
♀ Member
Member # 22802
Default  Posted: 10:51 AM, November 15th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumping for JustL.


Me (BS)
Him (WS)
Reconciling

Posts: 226 | Registered: Feb 2009
SerJR
♂ Member
Member # 14993
Default  Posted: 12:45 PM, November 24th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Me: BH - Happily remarried.
Hope is never lost. It exists within you - it is real. It is not a force in and of itself - it is something that you create with every thought, action, and choice you make. It is a gift that you create for yourself.

Posts: 17093 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Further North than South
lookslikeaduck
♀ Member
Member # 12103
Default  Posted: 7:51 AM, November 26th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


BS oct 2009 ..... never make someone your priority if they only make you a option

Posts: 374 | Registered: Sep 2006
Illinoisgirl
♀ Member
Member # 25686
Default  Posted: 6:22 AM, November 29th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I totally misunderstood the 180. It seemed like playing mind games to me. A few other replies to this post mention how they didn't "get" the 180 either and now (with this explanation) wish they had tried it sooner. Me too.

This post really explains it well. IMHO, it should be part of The Healing Library.


Married 12 years, together 18
WH - Recovering alcoholic
Me - Recovering wife
Reconciling?
D-Day 9-27-09
3 great kids - 12, 10 & 8

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. Eleanor Roosevelt


Posts: 339 | Registered: Sep 2009
seeking peace
♀ Member
Member # 6693
Default  Posted: 1:49 AM, November 30th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ditto that about putting this in the Healing Library. The piece that is currently there is a good start, but needs further explanation that the 180 is for the BS, NOT to manipulate the WS.

Thanks!


Me - BW 49 Him - SA 49
DS 15, DD 13
FIRST Dday: 10/27/04 4 LTAs & more...
Tried to reconcile for six years until...
LAST Dday: 6/10/10
Filed for D: 8/24/10 Divorce final: 6/2013

Posts: 419 | Registered: Mar 2005 | From: California
KInUSA
♀ Member
Member # 19503
Default  Posted: 10:36 AM, December 1st (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

this makes so much more sense to me and I agree - this should be in the Healing Library......


DDay 4 November 2009
DDay #2 14 December 2010


Posts: 499 | Registered: May 2008 | From: far far from home
lookslikeaduck
♀ Member
Member # 12103
Default  Posted: 2:16 AM, December 3rd (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bumping


BS oct 2009 ..... never make someone your priority if they only make you a option

Posts: 374 | Registered: Sep 2006
tearsofjade
♀ Member
Member # 25778
Default  Posted: 7:39 AM, December 5th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


FBW(me)48
Divorced and really happy!
The best revenge is a life lived well!

Posts: 653 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: michigan
StrongHandle
♂ Member
Member # 26477
Default  Posted: 6:48 PM, December 13th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was having one of those off days that many of us are familiar with. This post reminded me what I am planning to get out of this situation. I am going to use this experience to find out more about myself, make some of the changes I have been waiting too long to make, and take care of myself again.

Oh, and I am also going to get in the best shape of my life durin the next six months and buy a kickass electric guitar I have been missing the last few years.

Why? Because I fucking want to. :)


Posts: 112 | Registered: Dec 2009
Mobilejoe
♂ Member
Member # 26438
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, December 14th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am finding that I am doing most of the 180 but not all of it. I have adapted it to how I am as a person and my situation.

Posts: 65 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Maryland
lost_in_toronto
♀ Member
Member # 25395
Default  Posted: 8:00 PM, December 14th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump.


Me: BS/39
Him: WS/37
DDay: August 23, 2009
Together 14 years.
Reconciled.

Posts: 1650 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: not toronto anymore
slowlymending
♀ Member
Member # 26454
Default  Posted: 8:36 PM, December 14th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump for newbies


BW-me

Slowlymending....

Live your questions now, and perhaps without even knowing it, you will live along some distant day into your answers. Rilke


Posts: 791 | Registered: Dec 2009
gma56
♀ Member
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 9:27 PM, December 14th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This has saved many member's sanity. gma


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. I lost my family but gained a second chance to be happy.

Posts: 20322 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Half way to where I want to be.
gracelesslady
♀ Member
Member # 21550
Default  Posted: 7:22 PM, December 15th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumping again ...


BW (me) 54
WH (him) 50
MOW (her) 32
Married 13 years
D-Day 10/30/2008
Trying to R

I've seen this happen in other people's lives
And now it's happening in mine
-"That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore", The Smiths


Posts: 229 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Washington, DC
JVS3
♀ Member
Member # 20124
Default  Posted: 12:35 AM, December 16th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


Peace is not something you wish for; It's something you make, Something you do, Something you are, And something you give away. - Robert Fulghum

As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction.


Posts: 409 | Registered: Jul 2008
nooneeverthought
♀ Member
Member # 20157
Default  Posted: 6:48 AM, December 16th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


it doesn't matter where you go in life ,it's who you have the beside you

Posts: 8493 | Registered: Jul 2008
wolfxsol
♂ Member
Member # 26295
Default  Posted: 9:34 AM, December 16th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


BS...staying that way.

Posts: 183 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: Tulsa
Topic Posts: 541
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