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Newest Member: Highlanderlady (45437)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Tactical Primer
punky
♀ Member
Member # 12233
Default  Posted: 1:57 PM, May 27th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great. I always feel so bad that I can't touch base with with all the new people all the time--there are just too many (sad, huh??)--but this is a fantastic first read for anyone in this situation


Be a lion, not a mowess...
The Cowardly Lion

Posts: 11295 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: A whole 'nother country
SerJR
♂ Member
Member # 14993
Default  Posted: 12:38 PM, June 4th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Me: BH - Happily remarried.
Hope is never lost. It exists within you - it is real. It is not a force in and of itself - it is something that you create with every thought, action, and choice you make. It is a gift that you create for yourself.

Posts: 17109 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Further North than South
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 9:03 PM, June 4th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great post.


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
heartbroken30
♀ Member
Member # 18437
Default  Posted: 10:11 PM, June 4th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great job!


Me - BS 42
Kids 12 and 9
Divorced

Posts: 1846 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: NY
EyesOpened
Member
Member # 19777
Default  Posted: 2:47 PM, June 5th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanx... very helpful. A must read.


An angel is someone you feel like you've known forever
even though you've just met.

Posts: 67 | Registered: Jun 2008
Piper317
♀ Member
Member # 15330
Default  Posted: 9:25 PM, June 5th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So well written! Nice job. I vote for this to go into the Healing library....just sayin.....


Married 8 years, together 11
BS(me)-34 FWH-37 d-day 7/3/07
♥R!R!R!♥
Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
Let your clarity define you.
"Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable." ~The Wizard

Posts: 1476 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: New York
buster
♀ Member
Member # 16571
Content  Posted: 1:46 PM, June 6th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WOW. what a great, great post.


In R

Las cosas no son como las vemos sino como las recordamos


Posts: 113 | Registered: Oct 2007 | From: Mexico
notworthless
♀ Member
Member # 18943
Default  Posted: 7:49 PM, June 6th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Terrific post


I will survive....

Posts: 1154 | Registered: Apr 2008
aesir
♂ Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 5:27 PM, June 7th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bumping for newbies as it slips off the front page.


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
burnt_toast
♀ Member
Member # 16891
Default  Posted: 6:17 PM, June 7th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just caught this. I'll be a proud bumper for it.


I may have not gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams

Posts: 4712 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Quelque part
s.squirrel
♀ Member
Member # 14742
Default  Posted: 7:35 AM, June 8th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bumping up another great post.


Me BS 44
Him WS 45
sons :17, 16
daughter: 13
dday1: 6/1996..separated 1.5yr, then reconciled 1/1998
dday2: 5/7/2007
Separated at last!~10/31/2008
heading -->divorce
But he lost his job in April..so pending, pending, pending.

Posts: 280 | Registered: May 2007 | From: ohio
Clangirl
♀ Member
Member # 19433
Default  Posted: 2:56 PM, June 8th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for much for this. I`m one year on from exposing WS`s affair but he still works with the OW and living with him has been an emotional rollercoaster for the past year.

Learning a lot from SI though. Was pointed in the direction of this thread just today and am so glad!

Thank you!

Clangirl


Posts: 66 | Registered: May 2008
cjonesjag
♀ Member
Member # 10617
Default  Posted: 9:35 PM, June 8th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

< bump > for new friends


Me (BS):50
Him(WTFH):51 Married: 05/26/2002
DD#1: 09/2005 (EA) DD#2: 09/2006
Mini-DDays: Many. Mostly online
DIVORCED 10/20/10
It's not what you've got, it's what you give.
It ain't the life you choose, it's the life you live

Posts: 6400 | Registered: May 2006 | From: Michigan
Dagny07
♀ Member
Member # 16928
Default  Posted: 11:13 PM, June 9th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump !


Me:BW Him: FWH E/A
M: 29 years, together 36 : both guilty of PAs 20+ years ago
CDay#1 Oct 06 (false); DDay#2 Oct 07 (truth from OW's BH)
R: Tenaciously optimistic

Posts: 835 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Midwest
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 8:11 AM, June 10th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Yet another one from SerJR.
Yet again, I wish I had found this place earlier.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 57 y/o Him, WS, 58 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 19 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3470 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
Crushed1
♀ Member
Member # 6449
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, June 10th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fabulous post SerJR!!! I just wish I'd have had this when I first started down this road, completely lost and shattered. You're WORD!!!!


~~"You can't run away from yourself"!!! Me to my H when he descended into adultery insanity.
~~Prov.15:13 "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken"
~~"The day breaks-your mind aches"
~STRENGTH~PEACE~HOPE~FAITH

Posts: 9765 | Registered: Feb 2005 | From: Texas
pandorasbox
♀ New Member
Member # 19648
Default  Posted: 12:41 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks so much for steering me here! What great words or advice & wisdom!


BS (Me) - 38
WS (Him) - 43
2 DD ages 10 & 5
Married 2 1/2 yrs., Together 10
11/19/07 - "I just don't love you anymore. I want a divorce."
12/21/07 - DDay confirming OW
Working on R

Posts: 8 | Registered: May 2008
ImGonnaMakeIt
♀ Member
Member # 18277
Default  Posted: 9:10 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is perfect, and just the reminder I needed to remain focused.

I use to think my self-respect was being prideful. This reminds me, it isn't, it is a necessity!

Thanks SerJR


BSO - 35

Together 5 yrs.
D-Day 1/6/12
Reconciling.
OC Born 11/2012
DD born 01/2014
I still love him but what I miss the most is the peace I felt loving him without the fear.


Posts: 2201 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: AZ
toonice
♂ Member
Member # 19862
Default  Posted: 11:50 PM, June 12th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Had I known all this, 9 years ago, hell, 13 years ago, things would have been very different.


There is so much anger and resentment built up now - I don't know if there will be a reconciliation.


Stronger than reason, stronger than lies, the only truth I know, is the look in your eyes.
BH(42) FWW(41; 8+ OM/OW, 5 year LTA)
M: 16yrs, 2 kids DS16, DD13. d-day 6/17/2008 (after 9 months of MC+gaslighting).

Posts: 4898 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: CA
socold
♂ Member
Member # 17400
Default  Posted: 1:03 PM, June 13th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Needs to be on pg1.


(me)fBH 35
D-Day Dec 9, 2007
D final Oct 19th 2010

Posts: 2584 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: in a van down by the river
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