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Newest Member: formerlyjoyful (44597)

Just Found Out Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Tactical Primer
shopper13
♀ Member
Member # 19695
Default  Posted: 3:44 PM, August 5th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a great resource this is. Thanks!

Posts: 57 | Registered: May 2008
wonderingbull
♂ Member
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 12:44 PM, August 9th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump for newbies


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor


Posts: 5969 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
oldtimer97
♀ Member
Member # 2365
Default  Posted: 3:36 AM, August 13th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


FWIW, because of brain damage, I write in storyteller form, so hardly any short posts from me & bad eyesight gives me a 50% edit rate..Apologies in advance!

Posts: 3237 | Registered: Oct 2003 | From: Sunny Arizona
AFguy
♂ Member
Member # 19822
Default  Posted: 1:40 PM, August 15th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


BS Me 36
WS Her 35 Now XW!
Together 16yrs Married 8
No kids thank God, just great dogs.
D-Day 6/25/08 8:06pm.D 7/18/08
I'm way too damn good for her. She will really, really regret this one day.
People should come with warning lables.

Posts: 212 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Alabama
wonderingbull
♂ Member
Member # 14833
Default  Posted: 1:05 PM, August 16th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump


The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...

James Taylor


Posts: 5969 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: A better place
burnt_toast
♀ Member
Member # 16891
Default  Posted: 9:34 PM, August 22nd (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bumpsey bump


It is what it is.

Posts: 4699 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Quelque part
cards96
♂ Member
Member # 14962
Default  Posted: 12:12 AM, August 23rd (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

GREAT post SerJr, wish it would have been around when I was new to this rollercoaster. Only thing I would add is don't make any snap decisions, think before you act. Your actions will have an impact, positive, negative or neutral, and be prepared to deal with that.

Posts: 512 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: ky
Balancing Act
♀ Member
Member # 19047
Default  Posted: 7:41 AM, August 26th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bumping for the newbies....this is good stuff!!


Me - BS....living a wonderful new beginning and giving love another chance

Tulsa Area Coffee Buddy


Posts: 2443 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: in the middle, somewhat elevated
Balancing Act
♀ Member
Member # 19047
Default  Posted: 5:52 AM, August 29th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


Me - BS....living a wonderful new beginning and giving love another chance

Tulsa Area Coffee Buddy


Posts: 2443 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: in the middle, somewhat elevated
futureshock
♂ New Member
Member # 20835
Default  Posted: 1:30 PM, August 29th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you SerJR, one of the best posts I have read so far. My only disconnect was with your advice on reconciliation when you said

- Avoid spending too much time together to try and force recovery.

We are in day six and it has been non-stop talking. This increased communication makes us feel we are getting closer. After reading your advice I am now conflicted as to whether we should continue this intense or maybe obsessive communication.


Me-Male BS 55 yrs old
Spouse-Female WS 48 yrs old
Happily married 16 yrs
D day-Aug 23 2008
Current status-working on R - broke NC Sept 8 2008, back on shaky ground
one male child 15 yrs old

Posts: 42 | Registered: Aug 2008
SerJR
♂ Member
Member # 14993
Default  Posted: 2:08 PM, August 29th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey futureshock - the key point to that statement is the word 'force'. If the communication is coming naturally and you are not uncomfortable spending that much time together then that is great and I encourage you both to keep it up!

The key is that is that you don't want to smother each other or force things to happen at an unnatural pace and be respectful of each other's need for space and other emotional needs.

As for the primer, it presents the general action plan - adapt the tactics as necessary to fit your own situation.


Me: BH - Happily remarried.
Hope is never lost. It exists within you - it is real. It is not a force in and of itself - it is something that you create with every thought, action, and choice you make. It is a gift that you create for yourself.

Posts: 17093 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Further North than South
futureshock
♂ New Member
Member # 20835
Default  Posted: 2:18 PM, August 29th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That clears it up very well for me. Thank you again SerJR


Me-Male BS 55 yrs old
Spouse-Female WS 48 yrs old
Happily married 16 yrs
D day-Aug 23 2008
Current status-working on R - broke NC Sept 8 2008, back on shaky ground
one male child 15 yrs old

Posts: 42 | Registered: Aug 2008
Balancing Act
♀ Member
Member # 19047
Default  Posted: 4:31 PM, August 31st (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


Me - BS....living a wonderful new beginning and giving love another chance

Tulsa Area Coffee Buddy


Posts: 2443 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: in the middle, somewhat elevated
SophieKnows
♀ Member
Member # 20839
Default  Posted: 2:53 PM, September 1st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What a great post.. I am only in phase 1, collecting all my evidence. This is a very painful process, but I know I need to do this.


Me: BS - 33
WH - 33 SA, Multiple D-Days, Multiple OWs, Multiple Profiles on Dating Sites

False R - Was Separated - Now in Limbo while he's going through IC.

Mother to a wonderful 4 year old daughter.


Posts: 108 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Canada
Balancing Act
♀ Member
Member # 19047
Default  Posted: 8:41 AM, September 5th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


Me - BS....living a wonderful new beginning and giving love another chance

Tulsa Area Coffee Buddy


Posts: 2443 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: in the middle, somewhat elevated
pitiful
♀ Member
Member # 8137
Default  Posted: 8:42 PM, September 7th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bump for humiliated again.


luv u bye


Posts: 1711 | Registered: Sep 2005 | From: il
bbee
♀ Member
Member # 17840
Default  Posted: 11:48 PM, September 10th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bump


This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Hamlet, Act I, Scene 3

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.

All's Well That Ends Well, Act I, Scene 1


Posts: 6648 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: SE US
SerJR
♂ Member
Member # 14993
Default  Posted: 5:34 PM, September 25th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Me: BH - Happily remarried.
Hope is never lost. It exists within you - it is real. It is not a force in and of itself - it is something that you create with every thought, action, and choice you make. It is a gift that you create for yourself.

Posts: 17093 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Further North than South
IKnowNow
♀ Member
Member # 12188
Default  Posted: 3:45 AM, September 26th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great SerJR!
*just bumping*


Me - BW.

A MLC is not a reason, it's an excuse! - Me.


Posts: 729 | Registered: Sep 2006
HelpMeUnderstand
♀ New Member
Member # 19947
Default  Posted: 6:03 AM, September 26th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wish I had this at the beginning of my journey. THANK YOU so much for your insight. I've been on this site before, but didn't really know where I fit in. Now I know. It's hard to start healing when you don't know where to begin. You made my day!

Posts: 3 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Midwest
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