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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: N. P.D Thread - Part VI
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 11:58 AM, August 24th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Who is this new jj posting here? With all of this "reveal"?

I'm glad you have found something in the Toxic Shame thread that speaks to you of your N. I totally understand the need to figure out what is wrong with them, why we didn't see it, and what the f*ck exactly did we just go through.

The sex stuff - I'll leave that to someone else to answer - maybe the mens. If you was one of the wimmens, I'd tell ya to go out and get you a BOB!

jj, you are rockin' awesome! I hope your birthday was a good one. Did you kick some serious tail at that chess match?

Edited for clarity. OMG, I read my post, and I almost choked.

[This message edited by woundedby2 at 12:05 PM, August 24th (Sunday)]


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7633 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 1:57 PM, August 24th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


dear w2,
you are a HOOT!
bestabesta wishes,
the new

Posts: 6012 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 2:10 PM, August 24th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

oh. PS.
i lost!
that's ok, cause i threw on; "it's my birthday" - and they treated me at the mexican restaurant afterwards -

lol! I'm bad.
still, i 'won' sumthin!
lol!


Posts: 6012 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 12:36 AM, August 25th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He called the boys today and every time I hear his voice I have a feel that combines and

Truely yuck.

I have one that need pushing off a tall cliff. Too bad I can still use the CS. :(


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 3:49 AM, August 25th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Brighter days are coming, lied2!


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 11:43 PM, August 25th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((lied2))) I know. It's that slimy feeling that never really goes away. Somehow, it's easier when they are being bad and totally evil, because then you have righteous anger on your side. Even when they are being good, it still feels awful because you have no defenses. You know that there is something bad lurking behind it; you just haven't figured out what yet.

*npd -- the gift that keeps on giving*
*mine watched 12 hours of temptation island this weekend where people agree to cheat on each other, bitched about how this was just horrible, then compared us to one of the cheatingest couples there, saying that we would always be in each other's lives*
*i hope to hell not*


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
itsabattle
♀ Member
Member # 13036
Default  Posted: 2:03 AM, August 26th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Toxic shame - I think the freak and his bitch have it. I went away this weekend to Paris and had a a fab time. The kids were on hol with their father and dd in particular had a horrible time. I cannot list their mean behaviour to you just yet as I am still processing it but it is nasty. Toxic behaviour - oh yes - that was evident on the south coast of the uk this weekend.

Posts: 1233 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: england
Heartless Bytchh
♀ Member
Member # 12347
Default  Posted: 3:29 AM, August 26th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

L2, I understand the "feeling".
Veritas put it exactly right.
"Slimy"
That's one of the big reasons I didn't want FOTY around me this wknd.

I have so much to tell y'all and it'll take awhile.

JJ, I think the celibacy thing is maybe your way of keeping yourself together while you heal a little bit and process some more stuff about what you're going through.
I was the same way for a long time.
Look out when you get your appetite back though.
It's a woollybooger!

Itsa, I'm glad you had a good time.
I'm jealous of you getting to go to Paris.
Ooo lala
Did you happen to take any pics to share w/us?
Did you get to see what the latest fashions are? Or ride the canal boats?
Share, gf.

I'm sorry the kids had a lousy time w/their dad.I'm sure you'll be doing damage control from that fiasco for weeks.

WB2, did you look at that thread?
It's spooky how much our DD's resemble each other.

I still haven't called or TM'd FOTY.

I know I'll have to eventually but, it'll be when I'm damned good and ready.


Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit

Posts: 6061 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 9:16 AM, August 26th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lied--I know what you mean as well. I get a feeling of panic when my N calls me. Although hearing his voice isn't as bad as seeing him. He always looks mean and angry when I see him. Serves him right, I hope he's miserable in that bed he made. Fucker.

Itsa -- You'll have to share with us some of your trip. I've never been overseas, but I'd sure love to get to your neck of the woods one day! Sorry about the kids and the fucktards. I hope it wasn't too terribly awful. The poor kids.

HB--I posted another pic of my DD. Was Niki a redhead? They both have beautiful eyes - and those sweet cheeks!

((((Tribe)))) Hope everyone is doin' okay!


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7633 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
Heartless Bytchh
♀ Member
Member # 12347
Default  Posted: 12:24 PM, August 26th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Those sweet cheeks on both of them really jumped out at me.
No, she wasn't a redhead.
SHe was a blonde but her hair was getting darker.It did have some red in it though.


Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit

Posts: 6061 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise
Heartless Bytchh
♀ Member
Member # 12347
Angry  Posted: 9:18 AM, August 27th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Guess what I found out today?

Remember last Thursday when I asked FOTY to not come here or call me because of what this past wknd was?
I have plans to go to a family reunion this wknd out of state.
I called my L's office today to see if that would cause problems or violate the TO.
I sure don't need to go to jail for crossing state lines for kidnapping my own son.

Come to find out, he contacted his L Thursday and she sent my L a letter saying they were ready to continue w/the D.

How chickenshit izzat?
He couldn't say it to me first?

I ask for one simple thing and he goes off the deep end.
I thought I was very decent about what I asked for and how I asked for it.
I was trying to not get him going and trying to take the high road.
This is the kind of stuff that has bit my ass everytime I've had dealings with him.


Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit

Posts: 6061 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise
Heartless Bytchh
♀ Member
Member # 12347
Default  Posted: 9:26 AM, August 27th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've composed an email telling him what's going on.
Whaddya think?

I wanted to let you know that I'm going to take DS to a family reunion in Kansas this weekend.
We should be back by Monday.


Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit

Posts: 6061 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 9:28 AM, August 27th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HB,

I always say that when they seem to be nice or to be doing something decent, they are up to something. The other shoe is about to drop.

I'm sure he's thinking that he's punishing you for what you did. Not letting him eat his cake and all.

Well, his call to his L at least saved you the expense of making the same request of your L.


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7633 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 9:28 AM, August 27th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((HB))) Honey -- where's the party? I got excited for you reading that! Hopefully, the rest if the divorce will go as smoothly.


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
janedoe99
♀ Member
Member # 17083
Default  Posted: 12:11 PM, August 27th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey ya'll,

It's been ages since I've posted here (I can't even remember the last time, really) -- I've been lurking in the D/S forum mostly, trying to make a transition to The New Beginning forum

I need to get some feedback on my current situation. It's been almost a year since I discovered the A, and nine months since I learned about exH's NPD-issues. I have to say that he is not as bad as some, but he is still NPD.

Here's my story:

1) ExN likes to give me more information than I need when it comes to his life and the kids. I have tried to put up boundaries – like asking him to stop giving me so many details, but he keeps tip-toeing over them. And it’s not like they are huge transgressions (he’s not giving me a moment by moment recap of his weekend with the kids and OW), but they just seem unnecessary. I certainly don’t give him details about my weekend.

2 If I make a big stink about the boundary issues above, that creates drama – and he likes drama. He’s a big attention seeker, so the more he gets of any kind (good or bad) is great. So do I sacrifice my boundaries for a drama-free existence?

3) I’ve told exN recently that I feel he is still hiding OW from me (according to him, she’s still just a “friend.”). He says that he doesn’t mention her out of respect for me. Some of that rings true – since I have asked in the past that I don’t want to hear about things. But I’m wondering if I should get to know OW better, since she is still in my exN's (and my kid’s life) after almost a year. How many here are on speaking terms with their Ex's partner?

Any thoughts about this? I don’t think I can say “Don’t give me details” and still say “I want to know more about OW.” I feel things have gotten too friendly between me and ExN – and that makes me a bit paranoid because I worry that I’m letting my guard down.

Finally, am I obsessing too much about all this?

And what bothers me the most about this is that it's not like my Ex is physically threatening me or anything major. If this was a huge crisis, I probably would know what to do. But it's trying to figure out what kind of permanent existence/ co-parenting experience I am going to have with my ExN that's so damn difficult.

Sorry for the length (if you are still reading! lol!)

Hugs,

JD


Me BW 36 Him WH/XH 32
DD - 4 y/o; DSS 11 y/o
M 4yrs/ Together 8
D-day#1/2 - Sept. 2007, Nov. 2007
Divorced 4/08

Posts: 156 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Florida
Heartless Bytchh
♀ Member
Member # 12347
Default  Posted: 12:50 PM, August 27th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't mind him telling his L to get the ball rolling.
I'm just angry that he felt he had to do it this way.
Behind my back and just because I asked for a simple boundary.

I told my L's right hand person what all was going on,what I found in the briefcase,the insurance situation, and how we got played back in March.
They said that won't happen again.


Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit

Posts: 6061 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise
Balancing Act
♀ Member
Member # 19047
Default  Posted: 6:56 PM, August 27th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((HB)))

It will be ok. Keep your eyes on the big picture and don't let the little things set you back. Let him create his NPD drama - it's not your concern...it only affects you as much as you let it affect you. At least that's how I am trying to handle it. I know it's much, much easier to say than to do - but I keep trying....

I know you are strong and I know that you will be fine the sooner you can move forward from him and is crazy-making...

Hang in there......


Me - BS....living a wonderful new beginning and giving love another chance

Tulsa Area Coffee Buddy


Posts: 2443 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: in the middle, somewhat elevated
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, August 27th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

JD it sounds like you are trying to process it all and are curious about this OW who has "replaced" you in his life. That counds pretty normal to me. I have done some of the same processing.

With these people there is no way to win. NC is the best option and firm boundaries. You have to slowly move yourself back from the relationship and fins a way to be the best parent to the children with or without his help. Eventually he will stop playing games with the information when it no longer accomplished whatever it is that he is trying to do. It may take some time but it will help create the kind of boundarues you want instead of letting him control you with his manipulation.

HB you are so strong. Keep up the good work.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
Heartless Bytchh
♀ Member
Member # 12347
Default  Posted: 10:11 PM, August 27th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know what y'all mean and i know y'all are right.
And I do want to get D's from this man and his craziness.
The sooner,the better.

I just wish he wouldn't keep pulling his shit.

Another for instance...
I had to call him this am about our Son.
Yes, I got a little emo and cried, dammit!
He said he'd call me back in awhile.
Haven't heard from him yet.
Just more P/A boolshyte.

I was crying when we got off the phone.Did that bother him?
FUCK NO!


Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit

Posts: 6061 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 10:36 PM, August 27th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((HB))))))

May a bird crap on his head the next time he steps outside. :)


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
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