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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: N. P.D Thread - Part VI
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 8:03 PM, September 23rd (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((JJCT))))

That was awesome !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 8:08 PM, September 23rd (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, it's good to have SI back. I was going through withdrawl!

Bob, I'm sorry that things didn't go so well. But, it sounds like it could have been much worse. You did end up with 50/50. She could have gone for and got everything. Be thankful that didn't happen.

Hope everyone is okay and made it through the terrible storm.

[This message edited by sadtoo at 8:08 PM, September 23rd (Tuesday)]


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7925 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
itsabattle
♀ Member
Member # 13036
Default  Posted: 10:53 PM, September 23rd (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've missed you all! It is so good to be back.
HB - I am glad you are ok.

Bob - It's not ideal but i don't think it ever is when dealing with these freaks. Like Sad said at least she didn't get everything. She is the mistress of her own destruction and whatever the court has stated she will not abide by it and she will totally mess up her opportunity at motherhood. I know this to be true because my freak has!!

I missed you all!


Posts: 1233 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: england
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 11:01 PM, September 23rd (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((all))) so glad to see you all back here!

(((bob))) The judge, sadly, is only doing his job. As others have said, this is only the preliminaries. Your NPD freak will prove herself to be an unfit parent all on her own and in due time.

As for myself, I have had yet another shock. As of last week, my NPD was still carrying on with his harem of women at work. As of tonight, when he left his instant messages out in the open, all of them are gone.

It isn't possibly because of anything I said or did, so I can't help but wonder, what?


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 3:22 AM, September 24th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey, v -- maybe he gots a new super secret cell phone? Special for his special luuuvvvvs?

You know they're always up to something.

(((bob))) I know the sting of being fired from a job is not nice, but it sounds like you are ready for a fresh start. All the way around. A new Bob comin' up!!

((((tribe))))
Bob's post on D'ing the NPD is so far spot-on for me. There is much wisdom in his list.

update on my sitch:
NPD freak did indeed escalate his attempts to contact me to the point of the stalking level. I had my L contact his L to get this to stop. It's been better since then, but he's still at it. The same bullshit. Using the kids as pawns, putting them in the middle and then saying that I am the one doing that.

Threatening me with legal action again. Apparently I've done something (it's a secret - he won't tell me) that he feels is bad enough to warrant contempt charges. We'll see how that noise goes. Nevermind that he is actually the one who legitimately deserves contempt charges be filed - 'cause his C/S and his reimbursements for medical and daycare are sort of an optional payment thing. So, now my bank account is suffering. Got the order for wage assignment in the works.

And speaking of bank accounts suffering, is there no end to the attorney's fees??? The cost to be free from the NPD is huge! But I've got to protect my kids from this monster.

Fucktard told DS13 that he was acting like a stupid idiot. Then he got his panties all in a twist because DS was upset with him, and DS is evidently not supposed to call him out on the stupid idiot comment.

Fucktard said to me, "He's all mad and saying that I called him a stupid idiot." My response to that was... "It sounds like you DID."

Who's the stupid idiot? Asshat stupid pretend uberdad. Did I mention that I hate him? And that I really, really missed all of you and SI.


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7619 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
Heartless Bytchh
♀ Member
Member # 12347
Default  Posted: 7:23 AM, September 24th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nap, you have been gone awhile. I missed you and wondered if you were ok.


Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit

Posts: 6061 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 12:49 PM, September 24th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((all)))

glad that everyone is OK.

i know my "pet" is ancient history but i've been thinking about him a lot lately.

is it normal for them to bounce between women that support them? i don't think he's ever really held a job long term? we lived off my student loans while we were together and he only worked when the situation was absolutely desparate.

to those in the midst of D, my heart goes out to you. i only had a custody battle to deal with and fortunately, my attorney was clever enough that his weird image of himself would've imploded for him to have won anything in court. and clearly, its more important to protect that fragile self image than be a man.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8230 | Registered: Apr 2008
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 4:03 PM, September 24th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It never fucking ends, does it?......

The Freak has already changed the schedules twice. Twice !!!!

I will now bite the bullet some how and get a lawyer involved. I'm really frustrated that she can't follow shit. Always a fucking exception to the rules. Damn Ns !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL.

Again, Itsa, Lied, how the hell you've survived this is amazing.

May the Ns spontaneously combust or something.

BoB

ETA: Lame spelling.

[This message edited by bobelina at 4:04 PM, September 24th (Wednesday)]


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 4:49 PM, September 24th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've contacted a lawyer.

any words of wisdom appreciated.

Time to review some of ya'lls previous posts.

Thanks.
Very frustrated BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 9:33 PM, September 24th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi all!

Hiya nape!!! Missed ya!

[This message edited by dreamlife at 8:47 AM, September 28th (Sunday)]


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
Heartless Bytchh
♀ Member
Member # 12347
Default  Posted: 9:49 PM, September 24th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hexed, it probably is, as long as they can find someone to support them.

Bob, so sorry you're going through his.


Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit

Posts: 6061 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 10:08 PM, September 24th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Bob))))

There are no rules. They are completely above them all.

I'm so sorry that you have to hire and attorney now that the D is final....

So ridiculous. I hope she will lose interest in the kids real soon.


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7619 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 10:28 PM, September 24th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Tribe)))
As ya'll be a knowing, I study Buddhism. I've been wrestling with how to deal with the Creature (Thanks for the name LL) from a Buddhist perspective.

I found this and wanted to share:
------
http://www.diamondway-buddhism.org/default.asp?col=01&t=faq_d.htm
------
How to deal with difficult people?

Everybody has the Buddha nature and Buddha qualities from which you can learn. So try to find something interesting in everybody you meet. If this is difficult, think of something you like about them. If this does not work, be grateful to them for teaching you patience. If this is not possible, think that you have to spend only a couple of minutes or hours with them, while they have to be with themselves for 24 hours each day. If you still have difficulties dealing with them, try to avoid them and wish them all the best of luck very far away from you.
------


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 10:52 PM, September 24th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bob I found that I could not deviate from the "rules" at all because if I did I was opening myself up for more pain later because as soon as I showed him that the rules could be changed he would push all the limits.

That is why we are playing the stupid game with the phone number. I can't move the boundary because to do that and make a compromise would just open me up to him playing another game. I have to say that I truely question my sanity regularly when I deal with the freak because his sense of right and wrong is so off kilter.

I have had a bad week. My kids have both been volitile and the youngest one got so upset that he called and asked him father if he could go live there. His father refuses to give him a straigh answer. I know that child protection would never allow it, I asked just to know where they stand. Son is pretty upset that his father won't answer him and he can't see him. Apparently the freak told son that I "have" to have care for kids (of course he doesn't have any obligation, just me)

I just don't know how I get through some days. doing this all alone is just so hard some times that I don't want to do it. I am so very tired of it all.


((((((TRIBE))))))

I missed you all so much. I am so glad everyone is ok.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
itsabattle
♀ Member
Member # 13036
Default  Posted: 1:04 AM, September 25th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lied - sorry to hear about this latest episode. I am sure your son does not really want to go and live with the freak - he is just kicking off about the rules you lay down for his benefit. Kids do this all of the time. Obviously the freak will not want full time care or responsibility, hence his reluctance to make any positive, meaningful comment at all. This will pass Lied. The joys of single parenthood eh?

Bob - Will you get legal aid if you are not working? Dealing with the freaks has to be done through the law. To the letter! There is no negotiotiating with them. Nothing is reasonable and logical. It is just bollocks! Seeing a solicitor was the best thing for me as it took away the freaks power and manipulation.

My freak is being nice. When it was my sons birthday a couple of friends noticed that he was always looking at me. In what way I don't know but I suspect he is looking at what he will never have again!!! After all I look so hot these days since shedding a ten tonne loser!!


Posts: 1233 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: england
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 7:22 AM, September 25th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Itsa,
You're sounding really good! Sounds like you are in a good place right now..Good for you.

Lied,
You and I struggle with many of the same games. My kids are continually hurt by his lies and manipulations. His pseudo-caring. Dickweed called DS13 a stupid idiot the other night. Then was all pissy because DS called him on it. fucktard.

Bob,
Continued strength to you!

((((((Tribe))))))


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7619 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 10:51 AM, September 25th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

bob-- it sounds like its a bad time for you to try and hire an attorney but i can't tell you how worth it hiring one was for me.

my little "pet" had always loved to have attorneys and manipulate the law for his own benefit. when my very sharp attorney set things up so he'd have to reveal some truths about himself to satisfy the GAL, he showed up in court unprepared to do so. he didn't win one thing. he could've but the judge set things up so he would've had to provide certain facts in order to get anything more than supervised visitation. it would've ruined his mask to reveal those facts. so he stormed out, filed an appeal he never followed through on, and claimed supervise visitation was an insult. at the next hearing the judge issued a permanent RO. his own NPD sank him in the end. good riddance. he can keep his damn child support.


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8230 | Registered: Apr 2008
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 12:43 PM, September 25th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bob, I think hexed is right. Since the divorce is already final, it may be a little late to get an attorney involved. Plus if you go back now and file an appeal, you will likely give the judge the wrong impression.

Try and think positive about your situation. You did get 50/50 custody. Mothers (even BAD mothers) tend to be awarded custody in most cases. And you are divorced from her. At least that part is over. Try and settle in to some sort of visitation with her and the kids the best you can. Even in the best divorces, this can be difficult. I'm sure it won't be easy, but give it some time before you go back to court.

Good luck.


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7925 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 1:25 PM, September 25th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Tribe))),
Thanks all.

I was thinking of an attorney for things like not following the agreement (Twice so far) and for when the girls may not want to be with XPDW.

I've seen that many, like Catwoman, have to constantly get a lawyer involved when the NPD Freak keeps changing the visitation, etc.

Hope that makes since. I can be pretty lame with articulating myself. LOL.

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
hexed
♀ Member
Member # 19258
Default  Posted: 5:48 PM, September 25th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bob-

i would consult with one for sure. but in your position i might just hold on to your money until you absolutely need to part with it. do the best you can right now. document her indiscretions with the agreement until such time as you or the kids simply can't deal with it at all then whip out the attorney


But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler


Posts: 8230 | Registered: Apr 2008
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