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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: N. P.D Thread - Part VI
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 6:50 PM, September 25th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bob Hold tight and go with the divorce as it stands for now. It won't be long before she finds it more convenient to not have the kids as often. The kids will start putting pressure on her to not go there as much etc. and soon (a year, 2 tops) you will be able to return to court and have the wishes of the girls be a real factor in the custody at that time. I say this partly from my own experience and from knowing a father who has been down that road and that is exactly what happened. He has now had temporary full custody of the girls and in time it will become permenant because the kids don't want to live with their mom and are old enough have their voices heard.

The kids know who is there for them and who is not.

Oh and don't forget, DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. That long laundry list of refusing to follow the agreements will make a difference eventually. When you have had enough you then take her back to court for contempt. Usually it only take them once or twice to get the point and weave closer to the line enough to not get knocked up side the head in court. Some it takes a bit of jail time but they do eventually value their freedom enough to either walk away or atleast try to make it look like they are complying.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, September 26th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

who'da thunk?

Facebook Profiles "Out" Narcissists

http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20080926/sc_livescience/facebookprofilesoutnarcissists


Posts: 6012 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 4:08 PM, September 28th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

hey, jj -- I saw that article on Yahoo too. hmmmm....

(((((Tribe)))))

So it get this text today from DD9 who is with her father and the skank OW for weekend visitation:

"Dad said I have not burned enough calories to have lunch."

WTF?!!! I guess he's the food patrol now.

Oh, and another classic NPD move --

DS13 is on restriction from computer and video games because he was truant from school one day last week. I called the Freak and told him what punishments I had set, and he agreed to follow. So guess what DS was doing when I called and talked to DD? Yes, playing Xbox Live!!

My head spins....
Will the lunacy ever end?

Bob -- I could use one of those great curses of yours about now....


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7633 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
Heartless Bytchh
♀ Member
Member # 12347
Default  Posted: 4:51 PM, September 28th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had to take DS to meet FOTY Friday evening for dinner.
I wasn't sure what to expect as to his behaviour since I sent him that email saying I was getting the D rolling again.

He did make an oblique reference the other day that he doesn't get all my emails.
I don't believe that.

Anyway, it went well, I was there but didn't really engage w/him like I would've in the past.
I was just boring and bland.

He acted on his best behaviour.
I had debated talking to him about the D but I didn't.
Maybe it would've started something in front of our son.

He acts like he has regrets but he still has contact w/the OW's.
So maybe it's just an act he puts on for me.

He didn't try to kiss or hug me goodbye when it was time to leave.
He did fill up the gas on my vehicle ($60) which I did appreciate.
I told him thank you and I appreciated him doing that.
He said he appreciated me bringing DS to see him and us having dinner w/him.

There at the last he said something about taking some time off in one or two weeks and coming home.
So now I have that to look forward to.

NOT


Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit

Posts: 6061 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 6:02 PM, September 28th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((WB2)))

May the hairs on his ass, turn into boils.

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 7:52 PM, September 28th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have been in such a struggle the last while. The kids are fighting much of the time over nothing and a few times it has come to real blows and me getting hurt when I try to intervene.

The little one was awa at Cadet training and the oldest and I had such a good weekend. Then the little one came home and they are back to hurting each other within 5 minutes of the little one walking back in. I can't do this. I can't handle them acting out all the time. I tried to break the 2 of them up and the little one starting throwing things at me and narrowly missed my head first with a shoe and then with the pieces of the water gun he was destroying (apparently to hurt his father who I assume he is also raging at in these episodes). I feel like a bad mother but I am seriously considering asking Children's services to find him a foster home placement for a while until the little one can gain some control with the special school placement that he is going into (next week if we can get everything worked out) and with the family counceling. I don't know what else to do, Someone is going to get seriously hurt one of these day if something doesn't give. They are so out of control and this is going to drive me to a nervious breakdown.

The prick called the other day and I told both kids that he called but neither of them have called him back. The kids can't go live with him because of the domestic violence that has occured there that the kids have seen so I will get no help there. It totally sucks that he gets to walk away and leave this all to me and then I end up being the bad parent for not being able to raise the 2 special needs kids. Some days I wish I had been the one to leave and left him with the kids. Every way this goes I am screwed. I just don't win for trying.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
Heartless Bytchh
♀ Member
Member # 12347
Default  Posted: 8:14 PM, September 28th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

L2, I'm sorry you're going through that.

The fallout from infidelity just never ends,does it?


Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit

Posts: 6061 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, September 28th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bob -- really big, deep, nasty boils, k? Love those curses!

HB -- Just continue to be strong and to be N/C as much as possible. 180 him when you do have to be around him. He made his choice(s) years ago. I'm glad you've gotten the D moving again. Godspeed on that one.

Lied -- I'm thinking that you and I have some freaky parallel existence. The similarities in fucktardedness are uncanny. The kids also act out similarly as well. Are your kids in IC? Might be time, if not... Just continue to be their rock.
(((((((TRIBE))))))))

[This message edited by woundedby2 at 8:50 PM, September 28th (Sunday)]


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7633 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
itsabattle
♀ Member
Member # 13036
Default  Posted: 1:15 AM, September 29th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lied - I understand as well.
I don't have any advice on this one because I know how much you need/deserve a break. Have you told the kids what is likely to happen if they don't stop this behaviour. You never know it might shock them.
You deserve a holiday my friend.
HB - good for you, keep those barriers up.
Wounded - Yeah he is a prick. Nothing else to add to that!!

Posts: 1233 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: england
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 1:33 PM, September 29th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Its I have been very clear with the kids about their actions and the possible consequences. They are not happy but don't seem to be able to really stop. We have been trying to work on these issues in counceling and it seems to be getting worse, not better. They need to be separated, at least for a time, because nothing else seems to be helping.

The little one is very out of control and everyone finds him hard to manage. It is like he provkes people to rage because he is in such distress.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 2:07 PM, September 29th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Momma Lied)))

Your a good Mommy. It's hard. It's less about you. It's more about them.

I was raised without a Dad and it can be hard. I'd imagine it's harder when your dad is so close yet a million miles away.

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
itsabattle
♀ Member
Member # 13036
Default  Posted: 3:02 PM, September 29th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lied - I feel for you. Is there anyone who can step in for a while? Do you have parents he could stay with?
I guess he is wanting to lash out and maybe test you and all of that? What does your cousellor recommend? What about time in a boarding school for kids with special needs?
I am sure you have already thought about all of these things. I hope someone can suggest something else.
Some days you just wonder how on earth it ended up like this?????????

I am about to ask for a rise in pay as this will make a difference to our standard of living and security. Fingers crossed!!
As well as this minor miracle, I'd like Daniel Craig to knock on my door with a bunch of red roses...


Posts: 1233 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: england
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, September 29th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How your heart must be breaking... (((((Lied2)))))


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7633 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
Heartless Bytchh
♀ Member
Member # 12347
Helpless  Posted: 9:12 PM, September 29th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been really down for the last several days.I don't know why.
It's like I'm tired of everything and why bother anymore.
Nothing changes, it all just continues to suck.
I see no improvement in my life.
So what's the point?

I'm a good person,a good woman,a good mom.
And what has it gotten me?
I just can't see the good right now.


Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit

Posts: 6061 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise
ScribblingMum
♀ Member
Member # 20097
Default  Posted: 9:30 PM, September 29th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bawling Here tonight...I think I BELONG in this forum...I posted in Divorce/Separation & Sex addict Spouse forums...but i also belong HERE...
Am just learning about NPD...& not sure how it's diffferent than a sociopath...????? WS is a pathological liar...

L2: I also have a special needs kiddo AND i HOME SCHOOL! And my asshat WS got kicked out , so i'm stuck doing ALL of the parenting, etc...IT SUCKS...but I don't think he deserves the privilege of parenting right now...don't trust his thinking...

What a nightmare to discover sex. addiction after 20 YEARS of marriage!!!!!


L2: I


~ScribblingMum~
D-D 1: 12/23/06 - Porn (dd bust him on-line)
D-D 2: 4-25-08 - Massage P.'s(new act. in pretend recov.)
D-D 3:9-9-08 Caught call m. girl
D-Day 4: 6/30/09 -: free MP g.f./prost.
D-Day 5: 1-10-10: new mp prost's.
~DONE!


Posts: 1529 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: S .CALIF.
ScribblingMum
♀ Member
Member # 20097
Default  Posted: 9:30 PM, September 29th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bawling Here tonight...I think I BELONG in this forum...I posted in Divorce/Separation & Sex addict Spouse forums...but i also belong HERE...
Am just learning about NPD...& not sure how it's diffferent than a sociopath...????? WS is a pathological liar...

L2: I also have a special needs kiddo AND i HOME SCHOOL! And my asshat WS got kicked out , so i'm stuck doing ALL of the parenting, etc...IT SUCKS...but I don't think he deserves the privilege of parenting right now...don't trust his thinking...

What a nightmare to discover sex. addiction after 20 YEARS of marriage!!!!!


L2: I


~ScribblingMum~
D-D 1: 12/23/06 - Porn (dd bust him on-line)
D-D 2: 4-25-08 - Massage P.'s(new act. in pretend recov.)
D-D 3:9-9-08 Caught call m. girl
D-Day 4: 6/30/09 -: free MP g.f./prost.
D-Day 5: 1-10-10: new mp prost's.
~DONE!


Posts: 1529 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: S .CALIF.
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 9:51 PM, September 29th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((((((tribe)))))))))))))

Between BoB's cursing hairy blisters
on all who'd harm or twist our sisters,
i
stick a neck out
thrust senda prayer out

and last
for peace to reign
in quiet hearts
ascenda stair.

(((((hb)))))) (((((l2)))))
my irish boots are made from the chewed through restraints!~



Posts: 6012 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 12:57 AM, September 30th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ScribblingMum -- welcome to the NPD Thread. Throw it all out here. We're good listeners.

Bob and jj -- Thanks for always lookin' out for us ladies... We got yer backs too.

HB -- (((((biggest hugs))))) I enjoyed your post in the F&G thread about interesting things in our lives. Loved the stories about horses. I was a horsey-girl too. But stuck in the urban sprawl of Southern California. Horses are quite a luxury here. Why don't you see about taking a class through the local community college or through a ROP program? Time to do something for you.

Lied- ((((still more hugs))))

(((((TRIBE)))))


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7633 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
Heartless Bytchh
♀ Member
Member # 12347
Default  Posted: 5:54 PM, October 1st (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Got a letter from my L yesterday.The D has been scheduled for Nov 24th.

So today I get TM from FOTY asking why he's got a contempt charge on him again.
Told him IDK, maybe it's because of the D stuff.

Just now got another TM saying he's not playing games,he just wanted to know what this time.

Anyone know what that means?
I have no idea.

I'm not playing games either.It's all I can do these days to just get through the day every day.


Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit

Posts: 6061 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, October 1st (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HB -- If you must discuss this with him, just tell him he should maybe consult with his attorney. Then IGNORE, ignore, ignore...

This advice is from my IC: His urgency is not your urgency.

Not your worry. It is a problem, but it's not YOUR problem. See?

Time for him to put on his big boy pants and figure out how to deal with this mess on his own. After all, he's the one who made this mess....

((((((HB))))))


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7633 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
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