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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: N. P.D Thread - Part VI
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 8:46 AM, October 18th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

my freak is up to something. He is trying to get me to agree to not make problems if he gives me the phone number and resumes visits. He seems to think that the phone number is some kind of carrot he can dangle in front of me to get what he wants. Clearing he is hiding something and wants me to agree before he springs it on me. He has even resorted to cursing at me in email. No dice.

Can't he just go away? You know have a serious brain injury and forget about us?

I need to be job hunting and I keep procrastinating. I always feel useless when I apply for jobs and hear nothing back. This whole economy has me freaked.

((((tribe))))

Hope everyone has a peaceful weekend.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 9:32 AM, October 18th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((lied2))))

He is an assclown. I wish mine would just go away too. Our two are brothers, I'm pretty sure of it. The AssClown Posse....

Good luck with the job hunting. Yes, the economy is a scary thing.


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7623 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
itsabattle
♀ Member
Member # 13036
Default  Posted: 10:54 AM, October 18th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The economy is freaking me out too on the other side of the pond! Having no money from the freak and having to pay for everything is a heavy burden to carry. I think I am going to work myself into an early grave.

Wounded - have a good time. sorry you had to endure the freak show but I hope you held your head up high.


Posts: 1233 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: england
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 8:59 PM, October 18th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Tribe)))

For your enjoyment:

------
http://www.ass-clown.net/
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ass clown (ás kloun) n.:

one, who, through the fault of his parents conception, is a skid mark in society's collective underwear.
------
http://everyonetellsme.blogspot.com/2008/07/deer-scat-in-my-backyard.html
------
MONDAY, JULY 28, 2008

Shit B Strange

Deer Scat In My Backyard, originally uploaded by the extra man.
I found this poop in my backyard this weekend. Nearly stepped in it. At first glance, i thought it might belong to that mythic man-beast, the "Georgia Ass Clown," the lesser known Ass Clown of the many Ass Clown sub-species which purportedly roam portions of the Southeastern United States (the Kentucky Ass Clown is probably the most well known). Further research revealed, however, that these droppings were probably just deer-related. Apparently, Ass Clown scat, although similar in shape (cluster formation), differs from deer scat in its many splendored hues, which produce a veritable rainbow of skittle-esque reds, oranges, yellows, greens, and purples...
------
------

BoB

[This message edited by bobelina at 9:02 PM, October 18th (Saturday)]


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 9:09 PM, October 18th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh he is definitally up to something. The ex called tonight and from what the kids said he is sitting there with the wifey acting all nice and saying he is giving us the phone number and chatting it up with the kids. I am sure if I had gotten on the phone he would have been all nice and not the cursing, swearing, and insults that he was do in the emails. NPD crap for sure.

It was funny to see the oldest when he was chatting. One of them was telling him about their house with green carpets and peach walls and how they want to paint it sand colour. My son was making all the faces. It was funny.

I guess they hav eto play games and hide their dark side so they can keep the supply. It is just so sick to watch.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 11:34 PM, October 18th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Veritas, it's a male judge.

Now he says my attorney is a lesbian. My best friend and I are both fat ass lesbian bitches.

The freak was calling the kids like clock work. Now this past week he hasn't called them at all. Though he still manages to call and try to bully me.

Now that I have the garnishment there isn't really any reason to speak to him other than him calling about the kids or to speak to them so the machine will be answering all phone calls from now on unless it's at his time to call them.

He isn't getting his visits with the kids right now because of his behavior during them so I let him talk to the kids on the phone. Don't want him accusing me of not letting him atleast talk to the kids.

[This message edited by peridot at 12:02 AM, October 19th (Sunday)]


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4488 | Registered: Feb 2008
betterdaysahead
♀ Member
Member # 12309
Default  Posted: 6:22 PM, October 19th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just joining this thread. I've been separated since June 2006. Stbxh has been living with OW since then.

My son is now 16 and my WS has made visits intolerable so my son doesn't want to see him anymore...but my WS says I am alienating my son from him.

I can't even mention his dad's name to my son...he gets upset.

This S agreement is costing me a fortune. He is making up things and then I have to fight back with documentation etc. I am broke.

I think my lawyer is starting to believe my WS now...I feel abused on both sides now.

It's getting to me. Just needing to vent.

I'm going to another lawyer at the end of the month...but as you know it just costs money for another referral and retainer...the money from the sale of our house is tied up because my WS is prolonging things....

Will this ever end? What did I do to deserve this?


The best thing about telling the truth is that you don't have to remember what you said. ☯

Posts: 13649 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Canada
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 7:26 PM, October 19th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Better, I've been going through my D since March and I am so ready for this to be over also. My kids also haven't really wanted much to do with him. They are much younger than your son though. I'm worried about mine using the alienating card on me also. I don't feel I should have to force them to talk to him if they don't want to. He hasn't called them in over a week anyway. This man used to call everyday like clock work.

They are very good at lying. Some of his lies I have even had to second guess myself, he is so good. It's no wonder a stranger would believe them. I never even realized just how convincing the lies were until I seperated from him and realized what a normal life is like.

Since we have been seperated I have felt totally at peace for the first time in many years. The kids also seem happier now that they are starting to adjust.

I have decided that once this divorce is over I am going to move from this house just so that we can get a real fresh start and away from alot of the bad memories that this house holds. I wanted to stay here at first but now I am rethinking that.

He hasn't been paying CS so my car is getting repoed soon. He's barely managed to keep up with the house payment. He's always late. Threatening not to pay something. I finally got the CS garnished from his check so he is loosing control over me financially. That felt like a huge relief.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4488 | Registered: Feb 2008
betterdaysahead
♀ Member
Member # 12309
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, October 19th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Interesting you say you started questioning yourself. I started to wonder whether or not I was the one that was lying...he sounded so convincing.

I stayed in my home for 2 years because I didn't want to disrupt my son. That was the biggest mistake I made. It was too expensive for me to maintain and I went through a lot of my savings to do so. I eventually made the decision to sell the house. I readied the house to sell...did it all by myself. Did the sale myself. Sold in May and the money is sitting in trust.

I am renting a house now but I am much happier in a place that has no memories of our M. It is mine and mine alone.

He pays cs and sp support reluctantly...but does so only because he would be too ashamed to have his wages garnished. He has a high profile job.

He has tried everything to get out of sp support. I'm on disability...he's tried to get me back to work, says I'm not sick, done all kinds of horrible things.

My son hasn't seen him in a year and a half.

The ex says he had to leave us because we are all passive aggressive, we were making him sick.


The best thing about telling the truth is that you don't have to remember what you said. ☯

Posts: 13649 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Canada
Heartless Bytchh
♀ Member
Member # 12347
Default  Posted: 8:25 PM, October 19th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BDA, notice how it's always you and the kids' fault?
Notice how he's such a saint?
Uhhhh, yeah...
NOT
I think a big part of that is he's too chickenshit to admit he screwed up.
That's why we call them Fucktards of the year.

Don't question yourself.That's what he wants you to do.
He will do everything he can to undermine your self confidence and common sense.


Woodchipper pretty much trumps everything.-Rufus Turner
Sometimes I feel like SI is that person who says... "if you can't say anything nice... come sit by me!"-rumorhasit

Posts: 6061 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Another day in Paradise
betterdaysahead
♀ Member
Member # 12309
Default  Posted: 8:33 PM, October 19th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When we started this process in June 2006 he warned me that if I went to a lawyer he would make sure I spent all of my savings on legal fees....

Here we are...still fighting in October 2008 over nothing.

He has fired one lawyer, hired a real shark. When we signed our first agreement he had a tantrum in the office and was hitting the walls and cursing and yelling. My lawyer asked me if I was going to be okay to go home alone. I said I would because I was already on a list with the police. If I called I was a "high risk call".

I went home and locked the doors.

The lawyer called me the next day to see if I was okay.

My WS is not a nice person.


The best thing about telling the truth is that you don't have to remember what you said. ☯

Posts: 13649 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Canada
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 9:39 PM, October 19th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your STBX is a serious freak. It scares me to no end that he actually works in the school system. I can't wait until you finally get your divorce because he is on par with a few others on here like Sadtoos and Catwoman's ex.

I am proud of your son for not wanting to be around him. Mine are not crazy about being around their father but they still go for short periods of time. Mostly the visits are their father playing disney dad just to keep them coming back. I am sure they will eventually write him off as well.

I don't really have any advice for you other than Hang in there. I wish I could send my lawyer up there for you because she was awesome. I think it seems to pivot on having a good lawyer than want to get the divorce done so everyone can move on with their lives.

It is funny how everything is our fault. I half wish I was that powerful.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
betterdaysahead
♀ Member
Member # 12309
Default  Posted: 9:50 PM, October 19th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What I don't understand is he has what he wants...to live with OW...

I never bothered him when he left. I just let him go.

Now he is doing everything he can to make it difficult to get a separation agreement signed. He's punishing me. Now I did call the police when he left because he physically assaulted me. But I felt I had to do it.

Is it possible he has forgotten he did that? Is it possible that he has convinced himself that he hasn't done anything wrong and really believes it?

It seems to me that is the only way that he could be thinking in order to carry on this vendetta against me.


The best thing about telling the truth is that you don't have to remember what you said. ☯

Posts: 13649 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Canada
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 10:31 PM, October 19th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My ex has been gone over 5 years. He is remarried, has a new house and a decent job. But still after all this time he comes up with stupid crap as if I am the one making problems for him in his life, that I am the one who can't be trusted as if I am harrassing him etc. He rages at me in email and on the phone if I let him (probably when the wifey is not around)

Why is he still angry at me? I didn't do anything to him. I have been working madly picking up the pieces of my life and the boys' lives. I have sole custody and get a meager amount of support. (what most people get for one kids and I have 2)I struggle to make ends meet.

At this point the only thing he can control is his phone number and if he visits the kids. So he is refusing to give me the phone number. he goes months not seeing the kids. Of course he blames me for preventing him from seeing the kids but it is his choice not to see them by refusing to give me the inof. If it was not this it would be something else.

They are seriously sick in the head. The seem to need to be angry and vengeful. I swear they get a high off of the rage. I can't explain it any other way since he seems to pick fights over stupid crap just to get a high. I don't engage, it is not worth it.

I would guess that once the agreement is done he will have nothing else on you since your son has written him off.

I know my lawyer would keep pushing through issues for each of the case conferences and once they were done it was back to court for a trial unless things got settled. My ex finally settled 3 days before trial because otherwise we would have had the judge decide the rest. Is that even a possibility? That way there is not options for him other than agree or the judge will decide.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 2:18 AM, October 20th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, BDA, your freak is certainly right up there with all of ours! I've got the same issue with lawyer's fees. He makes an issue out of every. little. thing. So that I have to get attorney involvement. Then he blames me for running up the lawyer's bills!

And, yes, I am also turning the kids against him. Yup. He is rage-aholic, abusive ass, and my DS 13 wants very little to do with him. It kills me that the courts think it's beneficial for DS to have this time with his dad...so healthy.

Like Lied2's freak, mine also is playing games with addresses and phone numbers. Mine tends to get stalker-ish from time to time also. Right now it's a quiet time. But the other shoe will drop....

[This message edited by woundedby2 at 2:20 AM, October 20th (Monday)]


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7623 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
betterdaysahead
♀ Member
Member # 12309
Default  Posted: 5:40 AM, October 20th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He's tried to get some of MY property and upset my whole family incl my mother.

My legal bill is climbing and I'm worried.

I think he lurks here...he did on Facebook...created a profile just to look at mine...we were on the same network and then used all my info against me.

I said I went to curves...he said I was healthy enough to work.

I said I went to visit my mom....travelling.

and the list went on...I then changed all my privacy settings and blocked him but he took down his profile...had no friends anyway.

Just venting I suppose but I never thought he'd be like this.

It's a nightmare I can't get out of.


The best thing about telling the truth is that you don't have to remember what you said. ☯

Posts: 13649 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Canada
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 12:02 PM, October 20th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I never thought he'd be like this.

It's a nightmare I can't get out of.

Yes. I feel this way exactly.

((((Tribe))))

Hey, I had a fantastic time at the meet up in San Diego this weekend. If you ever get the chance to go to a meet-up, go for it. It was so much fun! Lots of pictures on here:
http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=258334&HL=18522


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7623 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
itsabattle
♀ Member
Member # 13036
Default  Posted: 12:04 PM, October 20th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sad to see you on this thread BDA...but we all have grotty tales to tell and nothing is taboo.
I always follow your posts as you were the first one to respond to my first ever post here on SI! All that time ago, one difficult christmas eve in 2006!
This thread is a great comfort to me as it goes some way to explaining why my ex-husband is such a lunatic. One thing is obvious is that these sufferers of npd will do whatever they can to make your life difficult. Take the normal rules of life and twist it to the oppostite and you might have some idea how an npd mind works!
Good to see you BDA but sad you ended up here.

Posts: 1233 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: england
betterdaysahead
♀ Member
Member # 12309
Default  Posted: 12:37 PM, October 20th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was referred to this forum when I mentioned some of my D problems. Never thought my WS was NPD but now that I have read about him...OMG!!!

I have lived with such hell for over 28 years...affairs, drug use, emotional abuse and in the end physical abuse.

So I figured let him go without any reisistance and now I will have a life.

But no....he is fighting me over every word in the agreement and over every thing.

And the lies...I think he believes them. He must...that is my only explanation.


The best thing about telling the truth is that you don't have to remember what you said. ☯

Posts: 13649 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: Canada
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 12:56 PM, October 20th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

peridot: I was being sarcastic anyway; I don't think anyone's sexual orientation has to do with anything; it just gives your freak something to gnaw his teeth on.

The other thing about NPD's and lying is that it's almost compulsive. If they aren't telling convincing lies, they are going in the OPPOSITE direction: the-this-lie-is-so-out-there-that-I-have-to-be-telling-the-truth lie. Just this past week, mine comes in the house and tells me that his $600 iPhone is randomly calling local telephone numbers and that he just got a phone call from some strange woman who insisted that he called her. He just volunteered this information out of the blue. So I looked up this phone number, and lo and behold, it's one of the skanks he used to have calling him about a year ago. She coincidentally is calling when he's supposed to be "moving a friend" (the friend was supposed to have been totally moved out last week or he would lose his deposit -- this is the friend that introduced him to the skank). Sure enough, the next night, he doesn't come home until after 7 (he gets off at 4), doesn't call -- he's still moving the friend! Plus he stayed on the phone with a wrong number for 5 minutes.

[This message edited by veritas at 1:27 PM, October 20th (Monday)]


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

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