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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: N. P.D Thread - Part VI
woundedby2
♀ Member
Member # 18522
Default  Posted: 8:17 PM, December 11th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks, everyone. All DS's x rays are normal, so no fractures. Asshat was in full NPD mode this morning after hearing from DS that he had been to the doctor.

He called my phone at work about 6 times and my cell twice. 10 emails from him all before noon!! This crap is so exhausting.

Oh, yeah, I also had a call from the doctor's office letting me know that the asshat had called requesting DS's medical records from yesterday's visit. They were checking to be sure that he there were no custody issues preventing this. Sadly, there aren't.

He also accused me of trying to keep DS's medical issues from him. That he would've gone with him to the doctor's appoinment yesterday if he'd been informed. Right!! I'll just bet he would've loved to have been there to intimidate DS into not saying what really happened! Like I'm going to inform him of a doctor's visit to treat the injuries that he inflicted on our son.


Me: BS
2 kids: DD15 and DS18
Him: The Assclown NPD
OW: "friend" of 15 years
Divorced! Feb. 2010

Everybody, soon or late, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
~Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 7625 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: SoCal
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 8:02 AM, December 12th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wounded I would love to create a few "medical issues" for your NPD. Maybe something like hiding his head up his *&^%$. Opps I forgot, its already buried up there somewhere.

(((((WOUNDED and DS))))))

Hope he is feeling better today.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 8:07 AM, December 12th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((wounded))) I am glad that your son is okay -- but royally pissed off that now you get to deal with asshat dad and his issues! I've dealt with cops both good and bad, but the bottom line is paperwork. Once they've filed it, it's like hell to retract it. I was in a car accident a few years ago and the cop took the police report to the deposition and read it verbatim! They cannot, however, ignore evidence like a physical exam. Good luck to you!


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 10:33 AM, December 12th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((wounded))))

I'm glad your son is okay too. You're doing everything right. Document EVERYTHING. Get as many officials involved as you can, take photos, have reports taken, whatever you can do and whatever you need to do to create a legal and solid paper trail. This is the one thing that seems to STOP the NPD in their tracks. All they have is their BIG MOUTH and their lies. When they realize their intimidation doesn't work in the legal system with out backing up their big mouth with some sort of proof, they shrink. When you can argue with them in court with PROOF and without saying a word, it is a wonderful thing.

Document, document, document.

[This message edited by sadtoo at 10:35 AM, December 12th (Friday)]


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7926 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
itsabattle
♀ Member
Member # 13036
Default  Posted: 12:57 AM, December 16th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do the npd freaks ever leave you alone or will they ALWAYS find ways to criticise you and make you feel bad?
I had to have the day off work on Friday as my dd had an eye infection. She told her dad who replied with "I'm surprised she hasn't got the sack yet" (lose her job - not sure if this phrase is american!)
Why does he always feel the need to demean me and why, after all of this time, does he still have the power to piss me off??????
I have nearly killed myself keeping a ft job, sorting out the house, becoming solvent etc etc. He will never see this but why the need to constantly critise me?
This is not the first time he has done this recently but I wish he would just piss off with his comments. Face to face we are cordial but he is always criticising me to the kids.

Posts: 1233 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: england
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 4:48 PM, December 16th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine does the same thing its. I am apparently a lazy a$$ because I don't have a full-time job right now even though if I did I would have been fired because of all the time I would have had to take off. It's not like he would be there for the kids if they needed someone. I can only imagine what he says about me to the wifetress. I am sure he makes me out to be a real evil B-itch.

I figure they have to say something rotten because they are rotting inside from all the evil they have in them. It is not possible for good to come out with the hate and rot inside.

NC is the only way to go. Heck I figure if he is making comments then I am doing something right because otherwise he would not notice and be jealous enough of my to comment.

((((HUGS))))


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 5:00 PM, December 16th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Count me in on this one too.

During the last hearing for my most current protection order, his attorney asked me the standard questions, "What is your name? Where do you live?" But when he asked me my place of employment, I turned to my attorney and asked if I needed to answer that question. She asked the judge, he discussed it with XNPDH and his attorney and XNPDH's response was....

"I doubt if she even has a job..."
(in a very derogatory manner)

Instantly I get that furious feeling right up the back of my spine.

Why?? Why do I care what he says?

Probably because I propped up that lazy ass for our entire life together. I made him LOOK GOOD, provided for him, took care of him, covered for him, paid off his old credit card debt, helped him reestablish himself after he was FIRED from his jobs, found him a job, called out favors to get him a job, supported him when he was down, paid his bills, paid for his attorney after he was FIRED from the police department and was trying to get his job back....ugh

Then he has the nerve to say something like that.

Then, I continuously get letters and telephone calls from bill collectors for his shit. Nobody's calling him or hunting him down trying to collect on my bad dept. It's just so crazy.

Itsa,
Your jackass is no different. You work hard have bent over backwards to make ends meet, have been a model employee, have been responsible and most likely deserve a metal or something. Then he says something so ass-wipish as that.

I know that we should just ignore it when it happens, but OMG, it's so infuriating.


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7926 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 6:11 PM, December 16th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I figure they have to say something rotten because they are rotting inside from all the evil they have in them. It is not possible for good to come out with the hate and rot inside.

WORD!

& btw, i know exactly why it still hurts:
"bless your uneasiness, it is a sign that there is still life within you"

(((Tribe)))


Posts: 6005 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 11:38 PM, December 16th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So has anyone had a NPD freak that didn't send the divorce to trial.

There is nothing left to fight over. The kids guardian has decided that he needs sup. visits and I can't see him getting any kind of custody.

The house is being foreclosed on so that is no longer an issue.

There's nothing left worth going to trial over but I am sure that however trivial it is, he will find something that he wants to fight over.

Right now I think that it's the shit left in the house. The shit he told me to trash if I didn't want because he got everything he wanted out of the house.

Of course when he has nothing left to fight me over he all the sudden wants everything in the house.

So what are my chances of us not going to trial? Him pulling his brain out of his ass?


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4488 | Registered: Feb 2008
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 10:18 AM, December 17th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's the weird thing about an NPD. They will spend $5000 to fight over $5. They refuse to listen to their own attorney, it's like they are fighting just for the sake of fighting. They don't care how much it cost, because they probably don't plan on paying their attorney anyway....or they plan on having their OW or their mommy pay for it.

I know for a fact that my XNPDH has not paid his attorney. AND he claims that he will not pay him until I pay him MY half of HIS bill. WHAT???? He really thinks that I am suppose to pay half of his legal bills. The decree states that we are to each pay our own legal bills. But XNPD chanted on and on throughout our divorce, "IT'S 50-50!!!!!"

I guess he's still clinging to that. What an idiot.

Peridot,
He may not actually bring it to trial, but he could bring it right up to trial. That's what mine did. In the end (with threats from the judge) he settled. I hope yours does too.

((((hugs))))


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7926 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 10:43 AM, December 17th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He has already said that he plans on filing bankruptcy. I am pretty sure that he isn't paying his attorney. My attorney plans on trying to get the judge to make him pay my fees but he will probably not pay her either. I expect he will include her fees in the bankruptcy.

I'm hoping that he doesn't take it all the way to trial but if he chooses to go that route then I am prepared. I just want this damn divorce over with already so that I can go on with my life.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4488 | Registered: Feb 2008
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 12:29 PM, December 17th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine threatened bankruptcy too and threatened to do it before the divorce was final so he "could take me down with him."

Don't beleive a word an NPD says.

Call your attorney and ask what else needs to be done to get your divorce final. Tell him you'd like it to be done as a nice Christas present.


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7926 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 1:10 PM, December 17th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We already have a trial date set for next month so I have to wait until then. The bastard won't agree to anything so I can't get it done any sooner. It's like he wants to go to trial. So I guess that's where we are headed.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4488 | Registered: Feb 2008
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 8:26 PM, December 17th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine settled 3 days before the trial and only knowing that trial would have buried him. They don't believe their attorneys either and think that somehow they will be the exception. Somehow the judge will order them not to pay child support or whatever even though 99.99999999% of the time they would. They feel special all the time and expect the world will cater to them even when it is totally delusional to think that. Being in the middle of the divorce won't change that thinking even a little.

Apparently my ex's lawyer spent a good 3 hrs with his client trying to get him to finally agree to the settlement because it was in his best interest to not go to trial. I laughed when I heard that. Without that lawyer being such a good lawyer we would have been before a judge.

It was harrowing because I had final exams for university the same week as the trial was set and I was a total mess. I have no idea how I passed my exams.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 8:39 PM, December 17th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Last court hearing my STBXH actually thought that I would drop the CS garnishment. He also thinks that he can get it reduced even though his income has increased.

He's also going to take me to small claims court and sue me for the mortgage, the car and the credit cards that aren't getting paid because he refused to pay bills and then CS until it got garnished.

I'm not supposed to throw out anything in the house but he can sell a vehicle and buy a new car. Oh, and I wasn't supposed to use the child support to get a car after mine got repoed.

His attorney will tell him to do something and he does the complete opposite.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4488 | Registered: Feb 2008
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Flame  Posted: 9:24 PM, December 17th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm beginning to think this man was dropped on his head at birth.

Tomorrow is our wedding anniversary. I do not want it acknowledged in any way, shape, form or fashion.

I ESPECIALLY would not want him to acknowledge it by buying something for me from the shop where he tried to fuck one of the owners -- which is apparently where he went this afternoon!

I need to just chill out and go to a happy place, a nice happy place where I am not tempted to grab any sharp pointy objects and slice off any of his body parts if he even TRIES to give this to me tomorrow.

*i have a red haze in front of my eyes -- this can't be good*

ETA: Did I mention that this is a sex shop that he went to? And that I just saw the lovely wrapped gifts in his truck?

I feel like I am about to throw up... and I can count on the fingers of one hand how many times I have thrown up...

[This message edited by veritas at 9:30 PM, December 17th (Wednesday)]


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Flame  Posted: 10:20 PM, December 17th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And just when I thought it could not get any better, I just had to open it up and see what was in it. Apparently, I get the Doc Johnson Love Stick.

And in a separate bag is a Humdinger ring which is so obviously not for me


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 11:49 PM, December 17th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Vile. I am so sorry. I would be tempted to tell him to stick it all where the sun don't shine but I would be afraid he would like that.

NC and ignore is all you can do I'm afraid.

Mine has not made any plans to see the kids over christmas. The usually on time CS is late. Good think I don't count on the $$ to pay bills right now.

This crap is hard for the kids. My oldest is failing 3 out of 4 of his classes on school. The little one seems to be on a huge roller coaster ride with his behaviour. I asked them if they want to get their father anything for his B-day (Dec 23rd) or christmas and they don't want to. (not that I blame them since they may not see him at all anyways).

These freaks piss me off.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
peridot
♀ Member
Member # 18334
Default  Posted: 2:01 AM, December 18th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My son is 7 yrs old and I was worried about his grades and him slipping in school. He is very smart and I was so worried that all this shit would screw him up in school but it hasn't. The only problem is that all the sudden he is forgetful. If I don't remind him in the mornings right before school to turn in his homework then he forgets. His teacher knows what is going on and doesn't hold it against him.

He goes to a really great school and I hate that we have to move and he has to start a new school. I may try to do an in district transfer so that he can remain in that school. I know most of the teachers there. Between the teachers, the counselor and the prinicipal - they are all trying to help me make sure that he is okay both in his education and emotionally.

I hate that sorry bastard for what he has done to my kids. For that, I will never forgive him and I hope that he rots in hell with his whore.

I told that bastard a long time ago not to fuck with me or my kids, he would be sorry if he did. So now he is gonna feel my wrath.


I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.


Posts: 4488 | Registered: Feb 2008
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 9:04 AM, December 18th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Vile. I am so sorry. I would be tempted to tell him to stick it all where the sun don't shine but I would be afraid he would like that.

He might, but he'd never admit it. He's very homophobic.

Mine has not made any plans to see the kids over christmas. The usually on time CS is late. Good think I don't count on the $$ to pay bills right now.

This crap is hard for the kids. My oldest is failing 3 out of 4 of his classes on school. The little one seems to be on a huge roller coaster ride with his behaviour. I asked them if they want to get their father anything for his B-day (Dec 23rd) or christmas and they don't want to. (not that I blame them since they may not see him at all anyways).

These freaks piss me off.

Ah, NPD, the gift that keeps on giving. My oldest is FINALLY rising up out of mediocrity. He's intelligent and artistic, but has seemed so apathetic the past few years, and I know he's afraid to count on anything that his father could take away. Last year, his father took the iRivr that he gave him for Christmas, and he took his brother's PSP! Why? Because they shouldn't have anything that expensive. No expensive toys for them! He claims to be getting them an iTouch this year, but he knows I can't afford it and I have yet to see any money.

I wish I had a magic wand that would take away your (and my) kids' hurt. I know your son's anger is probably at the root of many of his academic problems.
(((hugs))) to us all.

[This message edited by veritas at 10:19 AM, December 18th (Thursday)]


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
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