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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: N. P.D Thread - Part VI
dreamlife
♀ Member
Member # 8142
Default  Posted: 4:15 AM, February 6th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BoB~ its delicious!


~XWH told me what I wanted to hear but he always did whatever he wanted to do~

Posts: 25351 | Registered: Sep 2005
Cerise
♀ Member
Member # 16053
Default  Posted: 8:32 AM, February 6th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Has anyone heard of "Attachment Parenting" and the Sears & Sears method? I read a lot about this when I was pregnant and practiced this when my daughter was a baby. It is supposed to help children be more secure and to prevent personality disorders.

Here is a link:

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t130100.asp

Honestly, it did not work the way I hoped it would.


Posts: 1691 | Registered: Sep 2007
Cerise
♀ Member
Member # 16053
Default  Posted: 12:21 PM, February 6th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My XH has agreed to let my daughter go to counseling. For those who know our history, for years he would not agree to my letting her go.

DD is not a very trusting child, but she has been seeing a counselor off and on for 8 years (due to the fact this counselor moved away for a couple of years) and she has built a trusting relationship with her.

XH and his wife do not want DD to go to this counselor. They want her to go to a Chistian counselor....and I am against that.

I find myself once again struggling to get my DD the help she needs.

At least I am dealing with his wife though all this....though she still picks me apart in her emails.


Posts: 1691 | Registered: Sep 2007
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 7:58 PM, February 6th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Chocolate. yummmmmm. Share the recipe please?

Cake and ketchup?

Booze with mine please.

Cerise I think counceling would be good for her if she can connect with the councelor. Ignore the jabs from the wifetress. She is miserable because she got the monster and made her bed.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 8:38 PM, February 6th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As you wish...

------

Chocolate Depression Cake
A budget chocolate depression cake with cocoa, vanilla, oil, vinegar, and other ingredients.

Ingredients:

3 cups flour
2 cups sugar
pinch salt
2 teaspoons baking soda
10 level tablespoons unsweetened cocoa
2 teaspoons vanilla
3/4 cup salad oil
2 tablespoons vinegar
2 cups cold water
Preparation:

Sift dry ingredients into a large mixing bowl. Add remaining ingredients and mix with a large spoon until smooth. Spoon into a greased and floured 13x9x2-inch baking pan. Bake at 350 for 30 minutes. Frost with your favorite frosting.

http://southernfood.about.com/od/chocolatecakes/r/bl40212q.htm

------

BoB

[This message edited by bobelina at 8:39 PM, February 6th (Friday)]


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 10:33 PM, February 6th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Darn That is awesome Bob. It has no eggs. My oldest has a hard time with eggs.

You are a Gem!!!!!!


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 8:18 AM, February 7th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your welcome !!!

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
Cerise
♀ Member
Member # 16053
Default  Posted: 11:31 AM, February 7th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My DD made a plan for suicide and wrote notes and I called an emergency counselor for these situations and he came to the house last night.

He came very close to recommeding we hospitalize her. When it was time for her to leave with her father she knocked out the screen in her window and tried to run away.

She ended up staying with me.

Before the counselor came her father sat there and called her stupid.

I am on suicide watch this weekend. My boss is very sorry i am having problems, but i still have to work (I work from home.) The quality of my work is slacking off.

i just feel overwhelmed.


Posts: 1691 | Registered: Sep 2007
bobelina
♂ Member
Member # 15312
Default  Posted: 2:12 AM, February 8th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Cerise)))

BoB


Mean People Suck (Especially Narcissists)

Posts: 1817 | Registered: Jul 2007 | From: Over the Hills and Far Away...
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 6:30 PM, February 8th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope the councelor knows about the emotional abuse your DD is enduring from her father. I wonder if she would be better off having a hospital stay and then they can help her. Maybe if your DD was able to tell the counclor about the abuse they could step in a stop the visits or atleast limit them until she is strong enough to tell him off or cut him out of her life. I am sure the constant emotional abuse is part of the problem.

(((((HUGS)))))


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 10:39 PM, February 10th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Boohiss

He managed to pay the support and they have retracted the garnishment. It means he can still go on paying me whenever the hell he wants. I think they must have called him and threatened garnishment and he paid to avoid it so he can still mess with the support and pay at the last possible second. &*^(&%&*()(*&^%*&

They just will do anything to keep any control they can.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
itsabattle
♀ Member
Member # 13036
Default  Posted: 11:58 PM, February 11th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hate these people. My dd is having a very difficult time and so much of it is because of her father. I hate what these people do to their kids. When she hurts I hurt. It does not seem to matter what I do she is never satisfied. She is like a bottomless pit, you keep pouring what you can into her but it is never enough. This is what her father was like. I hope she is not like him. It's really hard sometimes.

Posts: 1233 | Registered: Dec 2006 | From: england
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 8:20 AM, February 12th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Its my councelor and I had this same discussion the other day about how my youngest just needs so much and how it is almost an impossible task, especially for one person.

My youngest last night was telling me that he things that I should go back to court and have the judge order him to have visits. I tried to explain to him that the courts could do that but it would be meaningless since they would not put him in jail for not having visits. Poor guy. All he wants is to spend time with his father and it is the one thing his father just refuses to do.

Its bad enough being a teen without this crap thrown in the mix.

(((((its)))))) I hear you, boy do I hear you.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 10:41 AM, February 13th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs to all. I am having a problem in the opposite direction that most of you are.

As some background, my husband and I are living together as co-parenters, which is hard and horrible if you're dealing with an NPD. Basically what it means is that he is the paycheck and I do everything for the kids. He complains about it all, and offers up only the most pithy of input.

Until this week. He went to a transition meeting for our daughter on Friday (of course, his reaction was, "Do what you want to do because you're going to be taking care of her, anyway); he's going to her IEP on Monday. He's been coming home right after work, and has cooked dinner for the past 3 days. HELP! Any ideas on what he could be up to???

[This message edited by veritas at 10:42 AM, February 13th (Friday)]


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 10:39 PM, February 13th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

V I have no idea what he could be up to but it would make me nervous. Maybe he has filed something and is trying to look like a good dad/partner. Just keep your eyes open and wait and see.

((((hugs)))))


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
inknots
♀ Member
Member # 22132
Default  Posted: 7:28 PM, February 14th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The DSM thing isn't really helpful to me, so I want to ask people who have 'lived' it. Do NPD's have low self-esteem under it all?

STBEX is one of those who is very tight with the compliments. He is also very hard on his body issues. Yet he has also said to me that I am one of the few people he thinks is as smart as him. Yet he has low self-esteem because of not having his bachelor's yet. And he resented me going back to school for my Master's. As far as empathy, he has a lot for animals. And I have seen him tear up when others were in pain, like when my gramma died. He was not crying for my gramma, but for me. He is furious if someone tells him a story where an animal gets hurt. Yet he did not cry at any of his (5) family member's funerals I have been to or when he learned of their deaths. Granted he was not close to any of them.

I am just wondering what I am in for. I have not exposed his infidelity but he is playing hardball with the $$. My lawyer is pissed and is about to tell him, trial time, bitches! And subpoena his coworkers. He's going to get vicious, isn't he? Or will the fear of being outed make him be more reasonable? I have a feeling I do not want the answer.


Posts: 894 | Registered: Dec 2008
Chipmunkie
♀ Member
Member # 21653
Default  Posted: 7:46 PM, February 14th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He's going to get vicious, isn't he?

Yes. A true N will always see life on his/her own terms. No matter how much we wish differently, the truth is.. it's always about them.
Sorry, I know you wanted a different answer.
I wish I had to one to offer you.


Me: BW
Him: Irrelevant Bastard

About ~C.? I hear she even keeps a bottle in her desk at work. Not in an alcoholic way but in a kick ass Humphrey Bogart kinda way.


Posts: 494 | Registered: Nov 2008
inknots
♀ Member
Member # 22132
Default  Posted: 7:59 PM, February 14th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I guess what I would like to know, if he is a true narcissist or not. He can be so sweet and so affectionate. He stops on a highway to get a turtle out of the road. We could not give away a cat who peed EVERYWHERE because he called me in tears about it. Yet he also has a quick temper & can be vindictive. I have never turned against him before. He did think I was leaving him a few years ago and his response was to ask me, tearfully, if I wanted to go and said please just to be honest, that I could continue to live there until I was done with school if that was the case.
Of course there wasn't an OW in the picture then.
A few months ago, a casual friend made a casually suicidal remark about killing himself if STBEX wasn't his friend. STBEX said to me that he was worried he was a bad person because he really did not think he would be that upset if he did but he would hate it if the guy said something in his suicide note & everyone hated STBEX. And that sounds 100% NPD but how could we have gone 17 years if so?

Posts: 894 | Registered: Dec 2008
Chipmunkie
♀ Member
Member # 21653
Default  Posted: 8:21 PM, February 14th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sorry In..
I had the explanation of NPD handed to me by his psychiatrist.
I had never even heard of it before that.
I know you need something to grasp onto. God knows, I did.

But, in many ways I wish I had never heard it. Being officially diagnosed only gave me one more reason to excuse his actions.
No one has the right to make you suffer. NPD or not. You deserve respect.
The time will come when you know what you must do.
I will tell you this. No one is worth losing your self respect for.
It's ok to have pity for them
It's ok to wish for better.
It's a long hard road with a NPD personality. I tried for 20 years.
It took me gaining distance to see just how badly I had lost myself.
If I can help? I will do so gladly.
It's a mind fuck that most can't understand.
Figure out what you want.
Figure out what you expect.
Figure out just what he is capable of giving.
See if those are even close to matching.

I really do wish I had an answer for you.
Trust your heart. The answer is there.


Me: BW
Him: Irrelevant Bastard

About ~C.? I hear she even keeps a bottle in her desk at work. Not in an alcoholic way but in a kick ass Humphrey Bogart kinda way.


Posts: 494 | Registered: Nov 2008
inknots
♀ Member
Member # 22132
Default  Posted: 9:03 PM, February 14th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you, Chipmunkie. We are getting a divorce. He has a 22-year old girlfriend--his coworker, and he won't even admit that is why we separated or why he is not in love with me anymore. He is still with her. So far he has tried a few baiting emails but I did not give him much to work with--I did not get mad like he had reason to expect I would from the content. Since we sat down with the lawyer for the first settlement talk, he has left me completely alone.
I know he told his parents he just did not love me anymore, but did not (as yet) try to run me down. He just said he was tired of taking care of me & needed to make himself happy.
Of course, that may be because I have not been slamming him to his family either.
So we'll see--I guess his actions when my lawyer laughs at his counter-proposal will be a good guide to telling how N he is.

Posts: 894 | Registered: Dec 2008
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