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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: OC support thread BS Only
dust to dust
♀ Member
Member # 12583
Default  Posted: 8:06 PM, August 6th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok, both she and my h work as security guards. Well she still works and he doesn't. Now as a security guard the top amount they made was 11 dollars an hour. But I think my h was averaging 9/hr. I am not sure how much she is averaging now. But she is supposedly only working part time. If they each only make/made 1500 a month, then that should lower the cs, right?
She also doesn't pay for daycare and she has full health coverage for the kid. I was also thinking about making it to where I show that he has been paying for half of daycare too, even though he isn't. My parents are covering that. But my daycare is 140/week. So if I make it look like he is paying 280 for daycare too, then that should lower her child support. Or at least I think it will.I just hope that they don't count her papers before mine even though she filed a long time ago and hers will go through before mine does. But yet, I am hoping that notarized paper will count as being my paperwork filed before hers.

[This message edited by dust to dust at 8:08 PM, August 6th (Wednesday)]


dday 1- september 06, he was having a three month affair.
dday2- april 1st 2008, six months after oc was born, h finally came clean about everything.
Present day- trying to R again.

Posts: 1532 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: florida
lonely&depressed
♀ Member
Member # 19779
Default  Posted: 12:19 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dust to dust.........my H claims he spoke to an attorney and the attorney told him any notorized support letter will not held up in court. I don't if I'm totally convinced though. I googled it and read that along with the letter you have to be able to proved proof of such support. I'm so pissed off. How can a order not treat what the children are entitled to equally. Why does one child get awarded more CS because they filed first. I think that BullS***. In my case OW's rent is dirt cheap,she recieves WIC and she doesn't have to pay a sitter. My expenses are 3 or 4 times what hers are. Why is her C entitled to more when her expenses are less. OC is 9 months and OW hasn't filed for CS yet. Who knows how long that will last.

Posts: 157 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: New York
auntcis
♀ Member
Member # 15926
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have always thought that the way CS is figured is unfair. Not only was OW on welfare when CS was set so it was higher for my H, but they asked for MY income as well to be figured into the equation,luckily I have always been a SAHM. And we had a COM when CS was set, then when our second COM was born the CS only went down $14 a month!! We didn't even bother to report when our 3rd COM was born cause it wouldn't have made any difference. Also when OW finally went to work they didn't ask her to report any new income so the CS could be adjusted. My H had to go so far as to get a second job working for a friend off the books so we could live!

I can't wait for my H to sign the papers for OC to be adopted and be done with all of the unfair bullshit!!!


Me;36FBS,Him;31FWH,married 14yrs
D14,S12,S8,OC13
OC was adopted 8/13/09
"Lucky I'm in love with my best friend."

Posts: 3519 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: New York
firstandthird
♀ Member
Member # 17022
Default  Posted: 2:28 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

it varies state to state. in ohio, they do not consider my income whatsoever. she has not even filed for paternity yet (even though shes said she would) and we aren't paying CS yet, but the Ohio charts indicate he would pay about $475 per month based on his income and that she was on welfare, just for the pregnancy. Since she was on welfare, he will be responsible for 1/2 of the labor costs as well. But so far, we haven't heard from her except when she notified us of his birth. OC is 11 weeks old today, but still, nothing...
In your public library, there should be reference volumes titled Florida Statutes or Florida Revised Code or something. Those are usually available online as well. There should be a statute that spells out exactly how all of that works. The Ohio Revised Code gives a table that estimates how much each parent would pay based on their income. There should be a public resource of that kind for your state. Bottom line, you won't know until the judge says so.
Just a side note: Take anything OW says with a grain of salt. Just because she SAYS that they have your H working 3 jobs, doesn't mean that's what it actually says. By law, all information has to be maintained by BOTH the paying and receiving parties, including any changes in governmetn assistance, increase/decrease in financial ability, and on and on. It's just a huge mess.

[This message edited by firstandthird at 2:29 PM, August 7th (Thursday)]


Me: BS 26
Him: WS(ONS) 27
Wedding Day: Mar 17, 2007
ONS: Sept 4, 2007
OC born: May 22, 2008
Nov 25, 2008: Found out the OC is not his!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posts: 108 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: ohio
auntcis
♀ Member
Member # 15926
Default  Posted: 2:37 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That was another thing! OW never even told my H she was pregnant, if she had he could have had her covered by his insurnace just for pregnancy related charges. But since she never told him and he couldn't do this we ended up having to repay the state of Idaho for the cost of the entire birth(she had a c-section on top of it)cause she was on welfare and we had to repay the cost of DNA test as well.


Me;36FBS,Him;31FWH,married 14yrs
D14,S12,S8,OC13
OC was adopted 8/13/09
"Lucky I'm in love with my best friend."

Posts: 3519 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: New York
lonely&depressed
♀ Member
Member # 19779
Default  Posted: 3:41 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This sucks! In cases such as an OC concieved from affairs isn't it a further insult to ask that the wife pay for OC WTF! Absolutely the H should have to pay, but the W. Hell No! That bitch won't get any of my money What an expensive mistake. There's no telling what I might do if the home wrecker trys to make me pay for her kid.

[This message edited by lonely&depressed at 3:43 PM, August 7th (Thursday)]


Posts: 157 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: New York
BMC0415
♀ Member
Member # 14038
Default  Posted: 5:48 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dust,
It was very important for you to have seeked advice from a lawyer before the OW filed because that letter may not be worth anything unless you have money order or check receipts showing that your H is paying you this money.

Without telling your business you know that this situation is going to get worse. I am afraid that your son will be left with little to nothing in support from your H. You know that I am concerned for you and your child. You have been in limbo so long with this.

Why are you still talking to Erika? Are you running interference so she doesn't talk to your H? You know that you have caught her in lies before so it is best to contact the State and protect yourselves.

I will be thinking of you.

L&D, yes it is unfair and that is why some couples file legal separation to protect their children and assets. A's have so many long lasting consequences that effect everyone.

[This message edited by BMC0415 at 5:49 PM, August 7th (Thursday)]


Me: 40+ Him: 40+
Married: 20+ years
D-Day: 3/7/07
Children: 24dd,23ds,21dd
10 yr. LTA 3OC w/OW 10,10,14 8/14/12-gave custody of twins to ex 8/16/12-DIVORCED!

Posts: 2910 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Maryland
auntcis
♀ Member
Member # 15926
Default  Posted: 7:47 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wish none of us were in this mess


Me;36FBS,Him;31FWH,married 14yrs
D14,S12,S8,OC13
OC was adopted 8/13/09
"Lucky I'm in love with my best friend."

Posts: 3519 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: New York
lonely&depressed
♀ Member
Member # 19779
Default  Posted: 10:46 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm not going to bother with getting a legal seperation. Even if OW files for CS and i I have to do so later on I'm starting not to care as much. After all there isn't going to be a huge massive amount in comparison to what my C would get. End the end, my H loses because he's the one that has to pay for both. He'll have to live with the fact that because of his mistake, financially, OC will be better provided for than COM. I'll have no problem reminding him. Also in CS court they also look at how much the custodial parents makes. OW is not on welfare. Please pray for me. There are times when he is sleeping and I want to put a pillow over his face. I find it hard to not to resent him. I feel like I'm sinking into depression. I will never again a another man have this much control over me. I will never give my heart to another man 100%. I want to hurt him as much as he has hurt me. I deserve better and should not be settling for less.

[This message edited by lonely&depressed at 10:48 PM, August 7th (Thursday)]


Posts: 157 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: New York
Tearsoflove
♀ Member
Member # 8271
Default  Posted: 11:58 PM, August 7th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dust to Dust,

I saw your post about the OW asking for your husband's employer. I do payroll for my company. Whenever we hire a new employee, we are required to report it to the State of Florida. However, Florida does always seem to be a bit behind so if this is a relatively new job for your husband, they may not have it recorded yet.

That said, don't give her information you don't want her to have. Eventually, the State of Florida will send a letter to his employer requesting a garnishment if she has a child support order. If not, your husband has the option to contact the state and let them know where to send the garnishment papers. There is no reason to give that information to her directly.

Hope that helps you.


Me: BS
Him: FWS
3 kids

DD#1: 3/18/2003
DD#2: 9/28/2010 with a follow up on 1/28/2011 where he decided to come clean about the EA actually being a PA.

The OW could have been anybody and both turned out to be nobody special.


Posts: 3774 | Registered: Sep 2005
dust to dust
♀ Member
Member # 12583
Default  Posted: 12:31 AM, August 8th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Tears- My h hasn't worked since umm.... April of 06. So how they have three jobs written down for him I have no idea. Even when he was working it was just one job at a time. I think she was bluffing on that.
Honestly, I think in situations like this cs should be based on the first child born to the father. Then the oc would get half of that. Its not that I want the oc in my case to go without, its just that I don't want to see her get more than 300 a month. She just bought a brand new car and I know that the three hundred or whatever she gets in child support will go straight towards that car payment and not towards anything related to the child.


dday 1- september 06, he was having a three month affair.
dday2- april 1st 2008, six months after oc was born, h finally came clean about everything.
Present day- trying to R again.

Posts: 1532 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: florida
dust to dust
♀ Member
Member # 12583
Default  Posted: 12:32 AM, August 8th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Accidentally double posted!

[This message edited by dust to dust at 12:33 AM, August 8th (Friday)]


dday 1- september 06, he was having a three month affair.
dday2- april 1st 2008, six months after oc was born, h finally came clean about everything.
Present day- trying to R again.

Posts: 1532 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: florida
auntcis
♀ Member
Member # 15926
Default  Posted: 7:30 AM, August 8th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

O.K. so I have to actually speak to OW tonight to tell her that my H is agreeing to sign his rights to OC away so her new H can adopt OC. The reason behind this task makes me happy , but I hate having to talk to her. It has been 7 years since either of us have had to even hear her voice, I prefer that I talk to her rather than having my H talk to her. I just have to keep the ultimate goal in sight. Everyone please wish me luck and strength and I will let you all know how it goes.


Me;36FBS,Him;31FWH,married 14yrs
D14,S12,S8,OC13
OC was adopted 8/13/09
"Lucky I'm in love with my best friend."

Posts: 3519 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: New York
BMC0415
♀ Member
Member # 14038
Default  Posted: 9:26 AM, August 8th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Here's sending you strength AuntCis! You know I know how hard it is to deal with OW at all. But keep the ultimate goal in front of you. Treat it like a business deal and you will get thru it, that is what I did.

Good Luck!

[This message edited by BMC0415 at 9:26 AM, August 8th (Friday)]


Me: 40+ Him: 40+
Married: 20+ years
D-Day: 3/7/07
Children: 24dd,23ds,21dd
10 yr. LTA 3OC w/OW 10,10,14 8/14/12-gave custody of twins to ex 8/16/12-DIVORCED!

Posts: 2910 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Maryland
auntcis
♀ Member
Member # 15926
Default  Posted: 5:48 PM, August 8th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well I did it, I just got off the phone with OW and although I feel like my blood pressure is through the roof right now I think I did pretty well.

I told her that my H agrees to sign his parental rights away so her H can adopt OC. She said she wanted to send us the letter asking my H to sign rather than just having her lawyer send us papers and have us wondering what the hell it was all about, which honestly I must say I do appreciate. She said from what her lawyer has told her that as soon as they get the papers back with my H signature they can start the adoption process and as soon as the adoption is final my H legal obligation for CS ceases to exsist. They have an appointment with thier lawyer at the end of next week and they have been told the whole process can take a couple of months, but they are hoping to have everything done by years end. I think it was OC who originally answered the phone cause when I asked for OW, OC(I think) asked "who is this?" and when I told her my name she paused for a minute and said "oh, I'll get my mom". OW actually thanked me for making the process easier on her and her H, what she doesn't realize is I just made the process easier for ME. I will have to be in communication with her for the next few months, which I don't look forward to, but hopefully most of it will be via email. And as long as I keep the final goal, being rid of her forever , in my mind I should be O.K.


Me;36FBS,Him;31FWH,married 14yrs
D14,S12,S8,OC13
OC was adopted 8/13/09
"Lucky I'm in love with my best friend."

Posts: 3519 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: New York
auntcis
♀ Member
Member # 15926
Default  Posted: 5:51 PM, August 8th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wanted to add that I also told her that we will need copies of everything involving my H so that my H can take any paperwork to his CS case worker here cause we are 2500 miles away and I don't trust her to make sure her state is aware that my H is no longer obligated to pay CS.


Me;36FBS,Him;31FWH,married 14yrs
D14,S12,S8,OC13
OC was adopted 8/13/09
"Lucky I'm in love with my best friend."

Posts: 3519 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: New York
Want2help
♀ Member
Member # 20547
Default  Posted: 7:57 PM, August 8th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Forgive me in advance, as I am on "mobile web" and it gives me very little space per post. Okay. New here, am almost one year in to R with my Wfiance (former?) of 7 years. We hit a really rough patch at the end of '06. Looking at this page, I realize we were both having EAs. Him a coworker of ours, me a guy online/texts. We called off 5 year engagement to work on things. After a couple months things were going well with the exception of him spending a couple nights a week at a co/wkrs (male) & even taking my teenage stepDs over there. Long story short, I eventually got a call from an aquaintance. He was staying with a 20 wear old girl I had seen on his myspace (fucking myspace) who lived in a tiny camper on co/wkrs property. I went out to confront him, got into the trailer saw his overnite bag, etc. He came outside & denied it, saying he would NEVER, he loved me, I had gone crazy. Said she knew we were still together, etc. Then she came out. All of a sudden he changed his tune to (to be continued...)


BS- me.
FWS- him.
DDay 6/07 (immediately separated)
RDay 8/07
Surprise OC born 3/08 (NC)
6 years into successful R.
"That which can be destroyed by truth should be." -P. C. Hodgell

Posts: 1944 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: PNW
Want2help
♀ Member
Member # 20547
Default  Posted: 8:13 PM, August 8th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

... "I told you I don't love you, leave me alone, we are through!". I went home, packed his shit, got into counselling and put the house up for sale. Ffwd 2 months to R. He asks for another chance, dumps her, comes home. Things go GREAT. Get MC. Then she shows up @ work. I go to a friends after work and my oldest sD calls me to tell me "Congratulations"(WTF??). OW is preg (16wks). Wf's exW has been hanging out with her. My Sds who just days before were ecstatic that Wf & I were back together, now hate me and are calling OW "stepmom". SD & OW call me giggling. OW (Ogirl?) asks me repeatedly if I am jealous as she giggles away. Tells me she was on the pill "the whole time". Tells me "I never use condoms with anyone, I don't like the way they feel inside my body- don't tell me you guys use condoms". I get to drop this bomb- yes, we do. Wf has HPV. The giggling stops. Wf & I decide to work it out anyways. He told OW he wanted NC when she told him, she didn't care, she just kept laughing & telling him(continued)


BS- me.
FWS- him.
DDay 6/07 (immediately separated)
RDay 8/07
Surprise OC born 3/08 (NC)
6 years into successful R.
"That which can be destroyed by truth should be." -P. C. Hodgell

Posts: 1944 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: PNW
Want2help
♀ Member
Member # 20547
Default  Posted: 8:27 PM, August 8th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

...that she couldn't wait for him to tell me. So we work on us. She keeps emailing him to tdll him she loved him, was glad she was preg by him "out of all the guys she was with", hoped the baby looked just like him, etc. Emailing & calling me to say "I hope it eats you up inside", call me fat, ugly, whore, etc. All emails & #s are changed. Wf tells her to leave us the hell alone. So she puts around 100 pics of Wf up on her myspace & pretends they are not broken up. Well, baby was born in March. We are waiting to take DNA test (she tried to fight it). She currently lives with exW & my SDs. Wf & I are doing great most days... But the waiting is killing us. She showed up @ work the other day with SD15 (she was therd cuz she's mad she isn't invited to our wedding) but she stayed in the car. My ? is what is a NC letter? Do we need one or wait for DNA? Wf wants nothing to do with either of them... So sad. I am a stepmom so I know I could've been capable of loving this baby... Never ever ever happen now...


BS- me.
FWS- him.
DDay 6/07 (immediately separated)
RDay 8/07
Surprise OC born 3/08 (NC)
6 years into successful R.
"That which can be destroyed by truth should be." -P. C. Hodgell

Posts: 1944 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: PNW
1234
Member
Member # 20346
Default  Posted: 10:29 AM, August 9th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So we finally got an ultrasound picture from the OW. It has her name on it, the date (Aug 2) and the hospital where she had it done. What doesnt make sense now is EVERYTHING! Dday was July 16. On July 17 OW told me that she went to her dr and her dr told her she was 2 months along. That her last period was May 17. Well the ultrasound on Aug 2 said she was 7 weeks along. Even if lets say her periods were irregular, but by a month? And why would she feel the need to take a pg test when she did. Which was a week before I found everything out. Is it really cruel of me to think that this fetus isnt growing well and that it wont make it? God help me for thinking this way. Either that or she is really a dim bulb when it comes to knowing her own body. I would hate to think I will live the rest of my life having to tell her to twist the lid the other direction to open the peanut butter jar for this kid.


"I'm a rockstar!"

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