That's a rough one. We never had that problem, cause although OW was a psycho when it came to my H and I, the OC always seemed well taken care of. I would definately find a way to keep an eye on the situation, cause it seems that she is taking OC on outing's not appropriate for an infant.
So I went to the courts to pick up the forms.
But I thought it was OW persuing the CS, but its the agency. He has to go for an appt. on the 3rd. I will be going with him.
He says he is has not seen the OC because of me, but its truely because she won't let me see them, andI won't let him go without me. This is not wrong of me, I do love children just not the way this has come about thats all. I would go anytime he is ready, he is frightened she will call the cops if I show up.. Not that I would be doing anything thing wrong, he is just worried about the whole scene..
Just updating and venting..
When my H was served with papers it was from the state not the OW as she had gone for public assistance also. I found that it was easier and quicker to get a DNA test done this way, all we had to do was have our lawyer send in a paper to the state saying that my H was denying paternity and wanted the test done.
I CANT ACCEPT THIS, I WANT TO IGNORE THEIR EXISTANCE, i DONT WANT HIM TO SEE THE oc's
How do you accept something like this in your life, what did you do to come to terms on this. And the fact that this isnt the OC's fault is not working for me, I have the same feelings I have for their mother the slut! towards them.
DDAY 01/06 - "BitchSlapMe"
I feel the same way you do about OC and OW. It doesn't matter to me that OC is innocent, I actually realized recently that I resent OC for just being born. As horrible as it may seem for me to say that, I have to be honest about my feelings. I have decided to have no cantact with OC. I have never and would never tell my H he may not have C. After all OC is he C. We have agreed that he would visit OC once a week and it can't be when OW is home. Thank god their is a third party that can be utilized. I don't feel guilty about my feelings regarding OC. My H understands this. I have no idea how things will eventually work out. All I can do is hope for the best and prepare for the worst. This is his burden to carry.I'm have no intention of making it mine.
I was a faithful wife and never deserved to treated and disregarded the way I have. So what if my H is a part time Father to OC. He was never with OW fulltime so OC won't be treated any differently. OC can thank both her parents for that.
[This message edited by lonely&depressed at 7:33 PM, August 28th (Thursday)]
I have been wondering how your are doing. I am sadden to see that you are going thru the same things.
Has he had a DNA test on these OC yet? I hope that you protect yourself. You seem to still be on the fence. You have received very good advice about this before. You don't deserve this!
Why is he sstill demanding that you accept these OC? I bet he still hasn't had the test and he still is taking money away from your child.
I am afraid that nothing is going to change for you and I am concerned for you.
PLEASE, PLEASE PROTECT YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILD
I am so glad that the tests were done. And I know 6-8 weeks is tough, but I am glad to see that something is getting done here. Because I was concerned that he still was doing this to you without any proof concerning if these OC were his.
I know that you were concerned about the OC because they were sick, as a decent caring person you would, but that does not mean that you have to accept them. And you cant have a good marriage if that is what is expected and if you don't he will leave you.
Just something to think about. We care about you and are thinking about you.
P;ease be strong, you know this might take up until the end of the year to be all finalized, and yes once again the ball is not in your court. But you have been through so much, and stayed so strong. She is probably thinking this is the one last thing she can pussy foot around with.
You have been there for all of us, and I want to return that generosity to you. So post away girl..
I have been waiting patiently for the child support meeting on the 3rd. were FWH will request the paternity test, then there is another waiting game.
I understand these are not easy, when we don't have the power over our own destinations, its in someone elses hands. Sucks !!!!!
Good luck on the 3rd, I hope thing's go smoothly. You are right, someone else having control does suck and so does the waiting. But honestly even if your H does end up being the father, knowing one way or the other really does lift a huge weight off your shoulders. It gives you definate answers to work with and helps you to deterimine where you want to go from there.
I mean WH and I are D-ing!! For sure!! My kids have a brother. That's all I know. WH doesn't feel like anymore is any of my business. I'd like to know for closure. I'd like to know his name for my kids sake. They're really too young right now to understand, but eventually talks are going to arise.
Last time WH even saw our kids was to take them to see the new OC. My dd came home telling me about her "baby brother", she just turned 3. She had things so jumbled. Told me that my son was NOT her baby brother. That was a battle when I told her he was. Then told me my son was OW's son. OVER MY DEAD BODY, yeah that one slipped out.
Birth date and a name would equal closure for me. It's eventually gonna come out in court, but to tell me now would be more healing. Right now, I feel as if there's a hole in my healing. The record just keeps skipping.
My son was the only heir, the man to carry on the family name...the baby. That has ALL been swiped from him. Not that it's a worthy family anymore.
Am I silly to still wonder or care?
This was not my choice, but it will not be my undoing either. ~~yewtree
We have a bottle of champagne waiting for you and diet coke with lime waiting for me when this is over.
I know it is hard, but they may be in the process and not have any new updates. Keep your head up! Keep in mind your situation is in a better place than mine.
30, I can see why you would want to know. If your stxh had not introduced your COM to the OC and the situation then maybe it would not bother you so much. But he did and even as little as your kids are, this is confusing for them and no matter was is going on between you and him, he should help with his kids feelings. Hope it goes better.
Look at my situation. Child Protective Services removed the OC from OW, so they know the situation and they are considering giving them back to her and she is a crackhead!
So they may need more proof before they would consider that.