I'm sorry you find yourself here, but glad that you found us. This is a really good place for advice and to just blow off steam or share your fears, we all know where you are coming from. We didn't get much of a break for our COM either, the state cut the CS payment by a whopping $14 a month when our 1st son was born so we didn't even bother when our 2nd son was born(our daughter was born before OC). Is there some sort of free counseling offered in your state? Lots of states offer it, you just may need to do a little digging to find out where. Suggest to your H that he could get a second job, and if he bitches about having to work too much tell him it's his mistake now he has to find out how to pay for it. Also, has he had a DNA test done or did he just take OW word for it that he was the father? If he hasn't had a test done he should. Keep coming back here, it may be a little while before someone responds to your post but one of us comes around eventually. Good luck
I missed you all very much
Is there any way to have your caseworker contact their attorney/caseworker for a status update? They should provide a way for you or your H to check where the case is?
I just get really frustrated cause I feel like this is just another thing that she can keep hanging over me. For the past 11 years I have been worrying about a CS increase or a huge medical bill or something. Now I have to sit and wonder and wait on her to tell me anything about the adoption. I just get tired of feeling like she has and has had for a while, the upper hand. I wish this was over!
As hard as the silence is and believe me I know because I am going thru it, the end result is either they will be out of your lives fro good, or worse case scenerio things stay the way they are.
I am hoping for the first one. Keep your head up!
DDAY 01/06 - "BitchSlapMe"
I am so sorry you are hurting. This is such a difficult situation to deal with. Not only do we know that our H cheated, but with the OC we have a daily reminder of the A which makes it all the more difficult to get past it. Have you thought about possibly going to IC? It really can help
Sending you strength and prayers.
I am sorry that you are hurting and I definately know how you feel. The pain is still fresh for me as well, I wonder how my H could have so little regard fro me and our children to do this. Everytime that I have to look at the OC, it is a constant reminder of what he has done.
Keep your head up and I think alot of what you are going thru is not knowing the truth and what is going on. I hope you get that soon.
My XH had 2 OC with 2 different women. We are now divorced because of it. My XH pays me child support for our DD and the 2nd OW has now filed for CS as well.
he is currently living with the 1st OW and helping to raise her children.
Im hanging in there. I have been dating someone for a year now and am moving on and finding peace. G-d knows that living with an affair is hard enough but when theres an OC in the mix its pretty close to insanity.
I hope we all find peace somehow with this situation.
I'm sorry you are both having to deal with H that still seem to think the world revolves around them and they don't have to be accountable for what they have done and that you should just deal with it
Well H and I got the paternity papers done, sent them certified mail to OW she got them on the 29th. Now she is pissed, OH WELL !!! But I think the babies are now starting to not look my H at all. Hope this all goes well.. She posted on my space today the "I'm done plying your games, You need to let go of what you dont want" WTF. I know she is doing this get my goat. Not working, my gut is not telling me anything, and hasen't in awhile. Got court papers that the CS hearing is set for end of Nov. right before my B-day. Why does everyhting with this have to effect something personal for me. But it's just life the way the cookie crumbles I guess.
I just can't figure why she would be so pissed off about paternity testing, If you have nothing to hide than you hide nothing, unless my suspecions are right and she was a real total whore. Not just with my H.