But in no way increminated myself or my husband, but did let her know that I had evidence in regards to her daughters intentions have been for the last 2 years. And that if I seen fit that I could drag her throught the courts on what I have. And about her taking fertility pills. They think bashing in my H is ok. well bashing the OW should be just as ok. But IT FELT GOOD.
My FWH and I had a long conversation on Saturday, A related and he finally gave me a real conversation in regards to it. Boy what I had in my mind was soooo much worse, it really helped me to see it in a different way, but there is still some issues he needs to work on, there are things he has blacked out, and he can't figure out whay and what he actually has blocked from his memory. mostly on how it kept starting back up. And what he was seeking out in all this. What wasn't enough of me for him, to quit.
But either way OW is trying to prove me unmotionally stable, and crazy to keep me from having a relationship with OC, along my H side. I think it really is all her just not wanting to face my H & I together. We still have not had our face 2 face.
I have nothing to be ashamed of, unlike her..
[This message edited by beajus at 4:49 PM, November 3rd (Monday)]
This now gona make things a little smoother for getting the paternity done.
On another note, out of curiousity I asked FWH if he would agree to take a lie detector test now, and he said sure when do you have it scheduled for, I told him that I didn't was just curiouse if I wanted one would he do it. I think it was great the way he answered the ?. I think that was proof enough for me, without going through the hassel, see I was waiting for court in the middle of this month to see for myself, how they interacted with each other, cause @ the first of the yr. I told myself I would give us a yr. & court, but now court isn't till feb. and I know things can drag out for awhile, and I didn't want to put my life on hold any longer, haping what I feel is true, cause he is being sooo much more open, about visits and everything about OW now, that I think it's OW still wanting to tear us apart, by all the stuff she is still trying to pull, about him lieing to me. And him seeing her, but come on, 3 to 5 min. here and there to visit the kids, is him wanting her, Please. If she really thinks that is a relationship she is sadder than I thought.
I'm sorry thing's have turned out this way, but glad that you seem to be at peace with your decision.
That is great that the courts are asking for a test, it does make the whole process so much easier when it is court ordered I'm glad to hear that you and your H seemed to have turned a corner. It is so much better when you can attack the issue at hand as a united front
So here is my question - my H thinks he should get the child set up on his health care plan right away. He doesn't see the point in waiting to do this as he will surely be ordered to by the court and his thinking is that by doing it now it might gain him some nice guy points in the decision about how much child support he has to pay. He is military and he has good benefits for dependents. Also, he thinks it's just the right thing to do. I think he should wait until the court orders him to do it, as with everything else. His lawyer said it would be fine to do it in advance if H wants to.
FWIW H has decided to have NC with the mom or the child at this point and likely for good.
Can setting up the health care now actually help him in the support determination? Can you see any reason why he shouldn't wait for the hearing to decide this?
Thanks in advance for any advice you can offer.
Don't forget he may be ordered to pay back child support (even though he was unaware of the childs existence), so he could be paying out the rear for a long time to come. Sorry your family has found themselves in this position. it sucks!
I logge donto to FWh laptop last night in order to do some stuff to his myspace page (he knows nothing about how it works LOL) and he said you better log in on yahoo IM invisible or else SHE will try to talk to you. So i logged in but not invisible and seriously within 2 seconds she was messaging saying why won't you talk to me, you're an asshole you're ignoring me and your baby... etc etc.. so i pretended to be him and told her if she had anything to say, say it to my attorney and gave her the name of his attorney and stuff and she REALLY FREAKED and just kept saying i NEED to know this and that and then she really flipped when i said the baby will be added to my insurance as soon as a DNA test confirms the baby is mine.
UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH he's been good about NC and he's been firm with her about not talking to him at work too unless it's life or death about the baby, but still She persists... and claimes it IS about the baby when clearly it's not..
I hate HER!!!
I don't know what is worse, dealing with this crazy OW while they are pregnant or raising their children when they can't. I think it is a toss up.
She has always loved the name Isaac and says if it's a boy she's naming him isaac.. problem being.. WE ALREADY HAVE AN ISAAC! That is one of my 6 yr old twins' names. Bitch is crazy i'm telling you. Ohhhh and if it's a girl it's Lyric.. *GAG*
The child will be given a nickname and that is what will be used when they are over here if she sticks to those names!
OW in our situation didn't name her daughter(OC) the same name as ours, but she got as close as she could without actually using the same name
Well, my H and I started MC again (with a new person). This is my last ditch effort. I am over all this drama but want to say that I did everything that I could. So here we go....
During the session, we bickered and fought - nothing that unusual. The counselor decided that we needed a starting point. I would stop yelling and name calling and he would reduce the communication with the OW to twice a week via phone with me present. I can keep my end of the bargain - can he???? When the counselor asked him how many times he speaks to the OW, he responded by saying 4 or 5 times a week!!! I couldn't believe my ears. He has been telling me - 2 or 3 times a week. A lie - yet another lie.
Then we went on the touchy subject of the OC birthday which is coming up in December. I feel that he should not go without me, he feels that I should not be present b/c it is too soon and will make everyone uncomfortable. I can be an adult. Can the OW????? Why shouldn't I be there - he is my H, not her happy little family. I began to sob in the office. The counselor told him to lok at me and that this is black and white. If he choses to go without me, he will be chosing the OW over me.
I left the office very upset. He tried to put his arm around me and I walked away.
How can someone be hateful????
[This message edited by SadMommie at 7:55 AM, November 11th (Tuesday)]
"I am where I am because of the bridges that I crossed." - Oprah Winfrey
"Excuse me, what level of Hell is this?" - Bu
Sadmommie, I think that if he does this without you, he is making it very clear what he chooses. The same thing happened to me when we thought the twins were my H's. The OW had a birthday party for them at her home and I was invited, but there was no way in hell I was going and I told my H if it went without me, then he might as well pack a bag and stay there.
Needless to say, he did not go, we sent presents and we had a birthday party for them ourselves the next week. This is the OC 1st birthday right? I see no reason for him to be there, unless he goes with you and you feel comfortable or he has something else. Divorced parents do it all the time, they have seperate arrangements sometimes.
I am glad that you seem to have a good MC who can look at this objectively and offer some good support. This is the test, can he commit to the reduction of contact (which if OW mother is raising child, I don't understand why he needs to speak to her at all), will he compromise on the birthday party issue.
Things to really think about, as always you are in my thoughts. HUGS