Sadmommie, I think that if he does this without you, he is making it very clear what he chooses
I agree, and if he can't see that even after the MC told him so then it is only cause he chooses not to see it. Like BMC said, plenty of parents who aren't together for whatever reason have seperate parties for thier kids, and also the OC is only going to be 1, not like he/she will be devestated for the rest of thier life if your H isn't there. And if it is that important to your H that he be there then you should be able to go too JMHO.
I am spent and I need to move on from this disaster one way or another.
[This message edited by SadMommie at 8:08 AM, November 12th (Wednesday)]
"I am where I am because of the bridges that I crossed." - Oprah Winfrey
"Excuse me, what level of Hell is this?" - Bu
[This message edited by beajus at 4:23 PM, November 13th (Thursday)]
I can't BEEEATHE
Now, if it was me? Oh, I get told if I even so much as had a revenge affair, then the marriage "would be over, because you didnt' really mean it when you said you wanted to work it out." Yeah, but somehow he excludes his own actions, doesn't he? (sorry, feeling a bit bitchy today).
XWH died Dec. 2010
Sometimes men say the stupidest thing's
After several days of not really getting along with my H we started to have two better days. Then, on Saturday, he lets me know that the OW's mother will be going out of town the week of Thanksgiving and is asking if my H can take care of him. Never mind that the OW will be at home the week of Thanksgiving. I became very upset. I asked if this is what evey Holiday was going to be like. Us having to deal with the OC to accomodate them????? He said that this was a special request - yada, yada, yada. Whatever!!!! What is wrong with the OW taking care of her own child?????
Well, things went from bad to worst. I just see the writing on the wall. Every holiday and event will have some drama b/c of the OC and his family. I told my H that I need to be alone for a little bit. I am emotionally and physically spent on this disaster. I just want to be a mom to my kids.
Then my H said that he would give up the OC IF I could commit to living on or very near our farm even if my townhouse doesn't sell and promise to never get mad at him for the affair again. I can't make those promises. I don't want to be near that farm and I will probably have bad days now and again. Plus, I believe that he will not give up the OC - I think it is an empty promise.
Then this morning he became upset with me b/c I am upset with him for speaking to the OW and going to her place of work to purchase farm medications. He told me that I needed help, that I had something wrong with me.
Plus he keeps telling me that I am the one pushing him away (from me) and that I am pushing him toward her!!!!!! WHAT!!!!!!!??????
I am so frustrated. Who does he think he is??????
[This message edited by SadMommie at 8:23 AM, November 17th (Monday)]
Boy am I mad!!!!!
I think it is pretty clear that your H is a fence sitter. The good part of this is that you are already living on your own, which is probably one of the biggest hurdles to overcome.
R requires compromise, but it is not one sided like your H is demanding. Obviously he wants to be like my H was, having 2 families, one of here and one over there. It doesn't work and it is not fair. So it is time to make a move and only you know what that is. Time to knock him off his cloud.
You are in my thoughts.
[This message edited by BMC0415 at 6:30 AM, November 19th (Wednesday)]
We got a letter from the IRS today saying that someone other than us claimed OC on thier 2007 tax returns(I'll give you 3 guesses who it was ). The bitch OW pulled this shit on us 2 years ago too! We pay her extra in CS every month so that we can claim OC on our return every year. Does she really think that if she claims OC too, that it isn't going to show up on some IRS desk sometime and get back to us?
So I called my tax preparer and he said she should be getting a copy of the same letter that we got from the IRS and since we are the ones who have the legal right to claim OC,OW has to ammend her tax return. But he also said that if OW doesn't ammend her return from 2007, we may have issues with our 2008 return!
I can't wait until the adoption is over so I don't have to deal with this crazy bullshit with her anymore.
I sure could use some of that good ol' SI mojo to get the whole adoption process going faster so it can be done.
Though it's a tough season for us all, I hope we can each find something to be thankful for. I, for one, is thankful I found all of you. No matter what crazy feeling I may have, I can find someone here who feels/felt the same way. So thank you, all my SI friends, for being here when I need you.