Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Lost1960 (43229)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: OC support thread BS Only
BMC0415
♀ Member
Member # 14038
Default  Posted: 2:38 PM, December 17th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lynne,

As you know I have full custody of OC and I provided you with some info on what the judge maybe looking at concerning custody. Joint custody is going to be a problem if your H has the mindset he has now, no boundaries that he is enforcing.

As I mentioned to you before this is only going to get worse because out of all the fathers involved, he is probably the only one giving her any attention. I have seen it before. I had a friend with 6 kids, 5 fathers involved, she told me herself that she tends to depend on the fathers that take care of her children.

So prepare yourself. It is going to be a hard road.

[This message edited by BMC0415 at 4:26 PM, December 17th (Wednesday)]


Me: 40+ Him: 40+
Married: 20+ years
D-Day: 3/7/07
Children: 24dd,23ds,21dd
10 yr. LTA 3OC w/OW 10,10,14 8/14/12-gave custody of twins to ex 8/16/12-DIVORCED!

Posts: 2910 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Maryland
beajus
♀ Member
Member # 21386
Default  Posted: 7:59 AM, December 18th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Providing we don't seperate We'll be asking for joint custody IF she doesn't give OC to my FWh which is still up in the air depending upon her mood.
It's my hope that even with joint custody there will be no need for a lot of communication except in the case of emergency. A third party will be doing drop offs/pick ups so unless the OC needs to go to the doctor or the ER or something no need for talking.


me BS 29 him WH 30
Together for 10 yrs
5 little boys 8,7,7,4,2
Dday 7-09-08
OC born 3-30-09
R- 8-1-08
Have OC 75% or more of the time
H works with OW
S. 7-30-09 NOT A related.
12-09 OW absconded with OC
1-2010 we filed for custody

Posts: 1396 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: NE iowa
lynne01
♀ Member
Member # 21856
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, December 18th (Thursday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for all information........ H change telephone # gave OW MIL # in case of emergency and yes you were right it's getting worse. OW call MIL told her it was an emergency! H called her. She is threaten to move 500 miles away. H expressed that he just so tired of her games he really don't care. OW was an ONC!


I am taking my life back!

Posts: 95 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: twilight zone
Want2help
♀ Member
Member # 20547
Default  Posted: 10:52 PM, December 20th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well, I am back. Haven't written for a while, haven't had any contact from OW- mostly because we have blocked all avenues of contact and got a lawyer to threaten harassment charges, and we were awaiting the results of the DNA. Well, we got it today, the baby is my fiance's. However, for the most part, I am handling it pretty well. I have emotionally prepared myself for this possibilty, and in the past couple months so much has changed for us.
We have continued MC, which has been great. My fiance got a new job, and with that he is no longer working with anyone who was involved in the affair (OW was a friend of a "friend" at our work). His new job is transferring him (us) to another city, 200+ miles away, where I lived growing up (and had planned to move before we reconciled). It's a great job, our good friend's husband works for the company, and makes good of $, all overtime and occasional prevailing wage, which in our state, CS cannot count. (In the paperwork we got today, it states OW will get around $250 a month, but my fiance is making less an hour at this job, so she will get a bit less than that even). So we will be far away from OW and OC (we are still NC, and fiance wants to keep it that way, and hopefully OW will move on with her life).
Although we postponed our August wedding (mostly to fueding family and drama), we found out shortly before our 7 year anniversary that we are expecting our first child. We are ecstatic. We plan to have a smaller, more private wedding once we move. I am so excited to move, I adore the city we are moving to, and have been taking my fiance there for weekends there since we got back together, acquainting him with the friends I have kept in touch with for all these years. We so look forward to our new start in life.
My wish for the Christmas season is that OW finds someone to love her and her daughter, and stops wishing us hurt.


BS- me.
FWS- him.
DDay 6/07 (immediately separated)
RDay 8/07
Surprise OC born 3/08 (NC)
6 years into successful R.
"That which can be destroyed by truth should be." -P. C. Hodgell

Posts: 1957 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: PNW
auntcis
♀ Member
Member # 15926
Default  Posted: 5:27 PM, December 21st (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Want2help))))

Sorry the test came back that way, but I am glad that you and your H are able to move on with your R. Congrats on your pregnancy

On our front, I think the OW really has lost her mind

If you remember a couple of months ago we got a letter from the IRS saying that OW had claimed OC on her taxes against court order. Well I contacted her via email asking her to speak with her CPA to see what was going on so there wouldn't be any issues when we file our taxes in January. She agreed to do so and I have emailed her several times over the past weeks asking if she had spoken to her CPA yet and I get no response. Well today I get a joke email from her! Has she gone so far off the deep end that she thinks it is acceptable to send me joke emails when she has given us no further information about the adoption and has made no effort to let us know what is going on as far as the taxes!

I wish she and her H would just hurry up and get the adoption over with already so I can be done with this madness.


Me;36FBS,Him;31FWH,married 14yrs
D14,S12,S8,OC13
OC was adopted 8/13/09
"Lucky I'm in love with my best friend."

Posts: 3519 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: New York
beajus
♀ Member
Member # 21386
Default  Posted: 10:39 AM, December 22nd (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The wench filed for prenatal support!!
FWH's attorney siad she will probably get it even without a paternity test and then if it turns out he's NOT the father.. we'll have to sue her in civil court to get the money we paid back.. how screwedup is that?????????????
In other words whether he's the father or not we'll never see the money ever again!!

I'm beyond mad, i'm seeing red!!!!!!!

How can she do this.. they work at the same place, make about the same amt of money.. and we can supposrt FIVE kids off his income!!!


me BS 29 him WH 30
Together for 10 yrs
5 little boys 8,7,7,4,2
Dday 7-09-08
OC born 3-30-09
R- 8-1-08
Have OC 75% or more of the time
H works with OW
S. 7-30-09 NOT A related.
12-09 OW absconded with OC
1-2010 we filed for custody

Posts: 1396 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: NE iowa
auntcis
♀ Member
Member # 15926
Default  Posted: 1:38 PM, December 22nd (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((beajus))))

I'm so sorry. I have never heard of anything like this before. How in the world can she get support for a child that isn't even born yet and who's paternity isn't proven?! Again so sorry


Me;36FBS,Him;31FWH,married 14yrs
D14,S12,S8,OC13
OC was adopted 8/13/09
"Lucky I'm in love with my best friend."

Posts: 3519 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: New York
BMC0415
♀ Member
Member # 14038
Default  Posted: 1:56 PM, December 22nd (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

AuntCis,

I am so sorry that this is still happening. OW knew what she was doing claiming the OC. I hope you get it straightened out and the IRS fry her, although I know a few people going thru this and it is a nightmare.

Beajus,

I have never heard of this. How could she do that? So you can just pick a man that you have met, get pregnant and claim prenatal support and he may not even be the father! What a BITCH!!!!

Don't you have a court order support for your kids already? Don't they have to take into account that he is supporting 5 kids already?

The system sucks!


Me: 40+ Him: 40+
Married: 20+ years
D-Day: 3/7/07
Children: 24dd,23ds,21dd
10 yr. LTA 3OC w/OW 10,10,14 8/14/12-gave custody of twins to ex 8/16/12-DIVORCED!

Posts: 2910 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Maryland
beajus
♀ Member
Member # 21386
Default  Posted: 4:10 PM, December 22nd (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She's claiming she has no money right now which is where the "we can support 5 kids on the money she's claiming she doens't have enough of"

She going after him for the cost of maternity clothing, prenatal classes (lamaze and also dr's co pays as well as half of any medical stuff related to the prenatal visits and birth, OTC meds shre might needs tums for heartburn and shit like that..
It's NUTS
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


me BS 29 him WH 30
Together for 10 yrs
5 little boys 8,7,7,4,2
Dday 7-09-08
OC born 3-30-09
R- 8-1-08
Have OC 75% or more of the time
H works with OW
S. 7-30-09 NOT A related.
12-09 OW absconded with OC
1-2010 we filed for custody

Posts: 1396 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: NE iowa
beajus
♀ Member
Member # 21386
Default  Posted: 4:12 PM, December 22nd (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep i have a support order for my 5 kids already, but in this state they can take 50% of your declared income.. i don't know all the ins and outs but attorney said that we could probably only end up paying $50/mo but guess what??? we're BARELY making it... $50/mo is my kids snack money for the month at school ya know... UGHHHHHHHHHHHH


me BS 29 him WH 30
Together for 10 yrs
5 little boys 8,7,7,4,2
Dday 7-09-08
OC born 3-30-09
R- 8-1-08
Have OC 75% or more of the time
H works with OW
S. 7-30-09 NOT A related.
12-09 OW absconded with OC
1-2010 we filed for custody

Posts: 1396 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: NE iowa
beajus
♀ Member
Member # 21386
Default  Posted: 4:16 PM, December 22nd (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ohh and i found out she has profiles all over the internet just put up in the last couple weeks, ALL of them say she doesn't already have kids and never wants kids and is looking for ONS's!!

PLUS... found out she was arrested 4 months ago for drunk and disorderly conduct and vandalizing public/city property.....

She's 7 months pregnant right now... Do the math..
And she didn't know shw as pregnant doesn't fly because at 5 weeks i have a copy of a text message she sent saying i'm pregnant.

Ruin YOUR life skank but leave the poor kid out of it!


She lives ina flippen flop house right now too...

Who wants to take bets on who eventually ends up with this child?


me BS 29 him WH 30
Together for 10 yrs
5 little boys 8,7,7,4,2
Dday 7-09-08
OC born 3-30-09
R- 8-1-08
Have OC 75% or more of the time
H works with OW
S. 7-30-09 NOT A related.
12-09 OW absconded with OC
1-2010 we filed for custody

Posts: 1396 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: NE iowa
lonely&depressed
♀ Member
Member # 19779
Default  Posted: 8:36 AM, December 23rd (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's been almoat a year since D-Day. I still haven't been able to forgive my H. Could anyone please share if they have been able to forgive WH and how long it took them before forgiveness came. I'm beginning to feel like to much damage has been done and I may never forgive him.

Posts: 157 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: New York
BMC0415
♀ Member
Member # 14038
Default  Posted: 9:01 AM, December 23rd (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

L&D, I have forgiven my H as much as you can in this situation. There are still days that the anger rears its ugly head, but day to day, I have forgiven him.

Everyone is different and it also depends on what your H is doing to deserve the forgiveness. what happens is as times passes by, they sometimes don't feel that they have to try harder to make the relationship work. You may never forgive him, it depends on your situation.

Sorry that you are feeling this way.


Me: 40+ Him: 40+
Married: 20+ years
D-Day: 3/7/07
Children: 24dd,23ds,21dd
10 yr. LTA 3OC w/OW 10,10,14 8/14/12-gave custody of twins to ex 8/16/12-DIVORCED!

Posts: 2910 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Maryland
lonely&depressed
♀ Member
Member # 19779
Default  Posted: 9:42 AM, December 23rd (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks........I'm so confused. I feel like I'm waiting for something BIG to happen for me to forgive him. He believes that he has tried so hard but to me his attempts have been minimal. True, he his home more often and when he's not he makes sure to check in. He respects how I feel about OC and has never asked me to be involved. However, he won't give me passwords to his cellphone. He says all I have to do is ask him if I want to see his phone and he will unlock it LOL! He did give my his password to myspace but changed it shortly after. He claims that although he has betrayed me I can't make him feel like a prisoner. (Pure Bullshit). I confused about my feelings. Financially, I can't afford to leave right now. I've been basically leaving my options OPEN even though were still married. I have not cheated on him and don't leave home with the intention on doing that. But again my options are OPEN.I'm not happy and don't want to be miserable for the rest of my life just to be with him. I still love him but not like IO used to. Maybe my happiness won't be with him. He was a much better boyfriend than he is a H. I don't want to go to counseling. I feel like I'm becoming depressed. I been cheated out of a decade of my life. I do realize that I need to move forward but don't seem to be able to make any progress. I need help and don't no where to turn.

[This message edited by lonely&depressed at 9:45 AM, December 23rd (Tuesday)]


Posts: 157 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: New York
1234
Member
Member # 20346
Default  Posted: 5:28 PM, December 23rd (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well the divorce hasnt happened yet. WH stopped working overtime and is barely making enough to pay bills now. He moved into his parents basement and I have been doing EVERYTHING! He has the nerve to say I took his kids away from him. He moved out 3 months ago and hasnt done crap to help out here or to get the divorce he demanded. OW registered and is calling the baby by our last name already. Its sick. He doesnt see how hurtful all this is. he just keeps saying he cant live with his head in shame anymore and has to face the consequences. None of those are faced here though. He just wants it because its a boy. Meanwhile, my girls suffer. My baby turns 1 tomorrow. I decided that since I have asked for a week now what he wants to do, and he hasnt answered, Im spending the days with my girls. He can rot!


"I'm a rockstar!"

Posts: 496 | Registered: Jul 2008
BMC0415
♀ Member
Member # 14038
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, December 23rd (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(1234), I am so sorry. What a ass.


Me: 40+ Him: 40+
Married: 20+ years
D-Day: 3/7/07
Children: 24dd,23ds,21dd
10 yr. LTA 3OC w/OW 10,10,14 8/14/12-gave custody of twins to ex 8/16/12-DIVORCED!

Posts: 2910 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Maryland
auntcis
♀ Member
Member # 15926
Default  Posted: 6:09 AM, December 24th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((1234))))

So sorry he is acting like such a jerk!

To heck with him, you enjoy your daughter's birthday just you and the girls


Me;36FBS,Him;31FWH,married 14yrs
D14,S12,S8,OC13
OC was adopted 8/13/09
"Lucky I'm in love with my best friend."

Posts: 3519 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: New York
auntcis
♀ Member
Member # 15926
Default  Posted: 1:44 PM, December 24th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Got an email today from OW. She now says they had some unexpected medical stuff come up and are now shooting for February for the adoption. COME ON FEBRUARY!!!


Me;36FBS,Him;31FWH,married 14yrs
D14,S12,S8,OC13
OC was adopted 8/13/09
"Lucky I'm in love with my best friend."

Posts: 3519 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: New York
lynne01
♀ Member
Member # 21856
Default  Posted: 2:06 PM, December 24th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well lady this is our first Christmas with the OC. Was upset because MIL brought the OC an present! But I got over it when we pick up OC his mother have no tree no present for the kids. COM have to much and blessed so I can't feel sorry for OW she made her choices in life. Told H OC is only a month old so he will not remember this Christmas so we are not going to get him! This is the last Christmas with just our kids. You brought this mess home let our kids have one last Christmas without confusing! MC said it was a good ideal to bring COM to conseling since they are 16 and 10 because they are old enough to understand. Well I pray that each and everyone you have a blessed Christmas!!!


I am taking my life back!

Posts: 95 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: twilight zone
1234
Member
Member # 20346
Default  Posted: 2:07 PM, December 26th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well he begged to see our daughter on xmas eve because its her bday and his as well. I was having a brunch for her and he offered to come early to help. Yep, never happened. He got there 45 minutes late. He also said that he would leave as soon as everyone else did. He didnt. The girls gave him a bday present and an xmas present. He didnt say thank you, he said to return them. I put the girls down for a nap and then went off on him! Needless to say he didnt set foot in the house xmas day. he did call the girls at 8 pm. Nice they were going to bed after an all day toyfest. My 3 yro didnt even want to talk to him she was soooo tired. He then text me at night saying he had to go to a friend for xmas because I didnt want him here. Damn straight. Told him how does it feel to have something taken from you and told live with it? Well honey "live with it" He's going to have plenty of lonely holidays. For xmas my present to myself was to go to the bank and open my own account. I paid all the bills that I could and then handed him a bill for his half of what is due by end of next week. Ha! He hung his head down and said he doesnt have that kind of money that I knew that I always made more. I told him to go to hell, that bill doesnt include groceries that I pay for to feed his kids so stop bitching. Let his whore know that when she text me her sob story that her baby was going to be a welfare baby, she was dead on! Oh and when I asked how he could just throw 17 yrs away having sex with the company whore in a parking lot, he said "shit happens". Well 2009 is my yr to show him that if he thought she was a good lay, wait till I screw him over!

[This message edited by 1234 at 2:11 PM, December 26th (Friday)]


"I'm a rockstar!"

Posts: 496 | Registered: Jul 2008
Topic Posts: 1000
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40 · 41 · 42 · 43 · 44 · 45 · 46 · 47 · 48 · 49 · 50

Return to Forum: I Can Relate This Topic is Full
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.