Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
Find a Local Couselor
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: SoCalBoy (43217)

I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: OC support thread BS Only
auntcis
♀ Member
Member # 15926
Default  Posted: 3:09 PM, December 26th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Godd for you 1234! You go girl!


Me;36FBS,Him;31FWH,married 14yrs
D14,S12,S8,OC13
OC was adopted 8/13/09
"Lucky I'm in love with my best friend."

Posts: 3519 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: New York
BMC0415
♀ Member
Member # 14038
Default  Posted: 3:34 PM, December 26th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

AuntCis,

Here is hoping that in February I can make up to your adoption celebration!

1234, I am so proud to hear you taking a stand, give it to him! Way to GO!!!


Me: 40+ Him: 40+
Married: 20+ years
D-Day: 3/7/07
Children: 24dd,23ds,21dd
10 yr. LTA 3OC w/OW 10,10,14 8/14/12-gave custody of twins to ex 8/16/12-DIVORCED!

Posts: 2910 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Maryland
dreamer1
♀ Member
Member # 13716
Default  Posted: 6:52 PM, December 26th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Huggs to all.

Aunics, wishing you the best, have been following your posts here for awhile, and I only know how far February feels, that is when CS & CC hearing is set.. So we can wait that time out together.

1234 You are so strong, you go girl. Wishing you and your children a great new year, you deserve that at least..

Still not hear anything on our DNA results yet. still waiting.

Karma train finally hit OW, She lost her apartment, moved in with dad & Stepmother, with her 4 children, Stepmother kicked them all out right before x-mas, including dear old Dad . Now she left for 2 weeks to another state far-far-far away, so at least 2 weeks of rest without worry Sad but I'm really hoping she moves there, I know that would be hard if DNA comes back that the twins are WH, but for the marriage sake I think it would be best..


S(he) Be(lie)ve(d)
Me-BS 48
Him-FWH 50
Friends 34 yrs-Married 26 yrs
D-Day 1/20/2007
LTA-To Many False R to count and D-days, Last D-day June 11,2010
4 stepchildren SS 28, SD 29, Twin SS 2yrs.
Twin OC, born 6/23/2008
Trying to see if R is pos

Posts: 558 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Arizona
lynne01
♀ Member
Member # 21856
Default  Posted: 2:21 PM, December 27th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello ladies I pray everybody had a wonderiful Christmas!!! Mines was wonderful had a great time with my kids and family. H and I pick up OC for about 20 min did not bring to our home. Took him to MIL house. When H knock on the door to pick up OC OW came to the door in underwear he did not go in but I was very upset about it. But for 2009 I am going to focus on me! Can't worry about him and OW anymore. I have to wonderful kids and this will not destroy us. H so stupit and do not understand so if he cheats with OW again I'll get a divorce. H walking around depressed like he did not cause all of this!!! OW called to complain about the present we got the baby and all I could do is laugh because she did not have a tree nor present for her other 4 kids. Plus she in the process of getting evicted but all she cares about is sleeping with a man that she had an ONC with. I just can't take the drama anymore. Time to live for me!!


I am taking my life back!

Posts: 95 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: twilight zone
auntcis
♀ Member
Member # 15926
Default  Posted: 2:38 PM, December 27th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks BMC and Dreamer,let the countdown to February begin!

Lynne,I am glad to hear you have decided to live for you

Wishing you all peace,strength and love in the coming year!


Me;36FBS,Him;31FWH,married 14yrs
D14,S12,S8,OC13
OC was adopted 8/13/09
"Lucky I'm in love with my best friend."

Posts: 3519 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: New York
lynne01
♀ Member
Member # 21856
Default  Posted: 2:43 PM, December 27th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you so much Auntcis. You are truely heaven sent! I pray everything goes your way you deserve it so much!


I am taking my life back!

Posts: 95 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: twilight zone
auntcis
♀ Member
Member # 15926
Default  Posted: 8:37 AM, December 28th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh, thank you Lynne, that was such a sweet thing to say. You really made me smile


Me;36FBS,Him;31FWH,married 14yrs
D14,S12,S8,OC13
OC was adopted 8/13/09
"Lucky I'm in love with my best friend."

Posts: 3519 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: New York
lynne01
♀ Member
Member # 21856
Cool  Posted: 2:12 PM, December 28th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well ladies remember I said I was going to start living for me! Last night decided to have girls night out with my friends. H calls me and asked if I just called OW and playing on her phone. Got mad at H we been together 12 years. H should know I am not into playing games. Plus never would want OW to think we on the same level! H called OW with me on the phone she deserve an oscar she swore I called her. Got into a shouting match with OW. OW said when she see me she going to beat me up! Told her she needs to worry about paying her bills and taken care of her kids and stop making me her focus in life. OW so dump she did not understand. Well was pissed off at H What if I did call her so what! but I did'nt. Told H we need to seperate for a while until he can decided who's more important wife or OW. I thank God because I am not to upset still had a great time with my friends


I am taking my life back!

Posts: 95 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: twilight zone
lonely&depressed
♀ Member
Member # 19779
Default  Posted: 8:33 AM, December 29th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Happy Holidays...........I hope everyone had a better xmas than me. All was great until OW's sister called my H on xmas.I answered his phone. She is only supposed to call if there is an emergency. Suppposedly, OW's sister was calling because my H hadn't called to say merry xmas to OC. BIG DEAL OC is only 1. She can't have a friggin conversation. OW's sister was surprised that I answered and gave the phone to OW. I asked her why she was calling and SHE had the nerve to get pissed and say THIS IS HIS DAUGHTER's MOTHER. Like i give a shit. I'M THE WIFE. I didn't bother throwing titles around. FOR WHAT! Anyway, she hung and I DEMANDED H call her back to find out why she was calling. She had the nerve to ask him what he wanted when he called back and that WE should grow up.lol.( I think she's crazy) She started yelling a screaming and then called me a bitch. Can you believe that. H then hung up on her. I got pissed and it turned into a big argument that didn't end until last night. I felt that it was cowardly for him to just hang up. I felt as though he should had put her in her place in front of me and tell her If there is important reason that she has to call she needs to have some respect for me or NOT CALL AT ALL. PERIOD! Was I right or am I making a big deal out of nothing. I feel like if he had been firm with OW's family as to when they can call him they wouldn't have called period. He is a married man and they DON'T have access to him 24/7. WTF! I think he's trying to ride the fence that why his phone rung in the first place. If you tell someone not to call why would they insist on calling, especially when OC financial obligations are being met. Thats why should don't children with married men.I swear I don't know if I can believe and word out of his moutn anymore. I broke down yesterday and finally told my closest relative what I've been going through.

Posts: 157 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: New York
1234
Member
Member # 20346
Default  Posted: 11:08 AM, December 29th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lonely sorry to hear you are going through this. Unfortunately thats why I can't be with H anymore. A few days after Dday ow text my phone to say she NEEDED to talk to H. I replied "to talk or cant you just text it?". She said she needed to talk. Well ALL she said was what we already knew "Im keeping it" then she said "I spoke to a lawyer and he said not to talk to you" Uh then why did you call bitch? Thats when I really knew what I was dealing with!


"I'm a rockstar!"

Posts: 496 | Registered: Jul 2008
lonely&depressed
♀ Member
Member # 19779
Default  Posted: 11:30 AM, December 29th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know if I should continue to fight to save my marriage or just give up. I've given my H PURE HELL for almost an entire year. Most men would have been gone by now. Do I stand by his side and work this out together where its semi tolerable for both of us or just call it quits.

Posts: 157 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: New York
auntcis
♀ Member
Member # 15926
Default  Posted: 4:25 PM, December 29th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

loney&depressed, sorry you had to deal with that.

For us, we made it perfectly clear to OW that ANY dealings were to go through me cause she was to have zero contact with my H, even concerning the OC. She didn't like it and made a fuss at first until I put it to her plainly that if she wanted happily ever after with a man and a child she shouldn't have fooled around with a MM, cause she got me in the package.


Me;36FBS,Him;31FWH,married 14yrs
D14,S12,S8,OC13
OC was adopted 8/13/09
"Lucky I'm in love with my best friend."

Posts: 3519 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: New York
BMC0415
♀ Member
Member # 14038
Default  Posted: 8:18 AM, December 30th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

L&D, Ditto to what Aunt Cis said.

This is not going to change until you BOTH put down clear boundaries. I am going thru some crap with my H now, but not concerning OW, because he knows and she knows, that there is NC ever!!! She is to talk to me if she wants to see or talk to her kids, which of course she hasn't.

If your H does not help and present a united front, this is going to get progressively worse. If you can tolerate having the contact go thru you, and some can't (and that is ok) you can pick another 3rd party of your and H choosing to handle the contact.

I read you post last night and it really bothered me that your H did not stand up for you. This is not a 1 person situation and as such he needs to do his part.

((hugs))


Me: 40+ Him: 40+
Married: 20+ years
D-Day: 3/7/07
Children: 24dd,23ds,21dd
10 yr. LTA 3OC w/OW 10,10,14 8/14/12-gave custody of twins to ex 8/16/12-DIVORCED!

Posts: 2910 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Maryland
lonely&depressed
♀ Member
Member # 19779
Default  Posted: 8:31 AM, December 30th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the advice everyone.........I din't know If I was making a big deal for nothing. The example I gave H was that if he and I were walking down the street he wouldn't let someone approach me and call me a bitch. He would beat the hell out of them for disrespecting me. Why is OW different? She should have put her in her place period! He's just trying to piss her off so she won't take him to CS court. O WELL! He should have thought of that before he knocked her up. If he can't do then the next time she calls and gets out of line I'll do it myself. This is starting to be too much! Honestly, he should have become a brand spanking new H.That shouls have been my reward for trying to make it work.
Not the same the same crappy one with a few adjustments.

Posts: 157 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: New York
hellokitty
♀ Member
Member # 12566
Default  Posted: 4:20 PM, December 30th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Still reading everyones posts. Happy Holidays to all of you. This time of year is hard especially dealing with OC and COMs. I had all the kids at my house for the holidays. It was hard at first, but when my son started having fun. It seemed worth it. I hope to be able to allow them to have a relationship as brohters and sisters without having to deal with the drama. Still 180 and strong! Hoping to move as soon as my school money rolls around in a month. Take care everyone.


I feel empty of love.
WH has 2 OC by the same woman. Sees her everyday to see his kids. We have one son who is 2, he has a 17 yo, 1 yo, and 4 mo old.
Trying to R, not much luck even with MC.

Posts: 108 | Registered: Nov 2006 | From: kansas
25wimsey
♀ Member
Member # 7816
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, December 30th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wanted to wish everyone a happy new year.

Life goes on here--visiting OC every 4 months (they're miles away), H phoning OC weekly, and OW still being difficult as she can long-distance.

Working on life together, and it's okay most of the time. But my bottom line sure has shifted--not the woman I was. And that's so sad to me. I kind of liked her!!

Infidelity is not for sissies, to coin a phrase. And having a OC in the mix makes it even more challenging.


Posts: 695 | Registered: Aug 2005
auntcis
♀ Member
Member # 15926
Default  Posted: 12:45 PM, December 31st (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Here is to all of us finding peace in the new year and getting what we need!

Have a Happy New Years ladies!


Me;36FBS,Him;31FWH,married 14yrs
D14,S12,S8,OC13
OC was adopted 8/13/09
"Lucky I'm in love with my best friend."

Posts: 3519 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: New York
shockdbyndbelief
♀ Member
Member # 21286
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, December 31st (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Happy New Year, everyone. I wish you all strength and happiness!

Posts: 145 | Registered: Oct 2008
lonely&depressed
♀ Member
Member # 19779
Default  Posted: 12:57 PM, December 31st (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'll drink to that auntcis! I have 100% decided to fight for my marriage. I'm not going to beat down my H anymore. I did it for almost an entire year and he's still here. While I will always remain NC with OC I have to make progress. H will have his limited through circumstance relationship with OC and I will redirect my focus to rebuilding myself. H can't help me with that. It has to come from within. My scars wil always remain. I'm sure I will have good and and bads days. But I'm going to hold my head high. I've found my strength. I KNOW I will be fine. I'm starting the new year off with a positive outlook, I will pray that god heals my marriage, gives me strength when I feel weak and eventually allow my heart to forgive.

[This message edited by lonely&depressed at 12:59 PM, December 31st (Wednesday)]


Posts: 157 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: New York
auntcis
♀ Member
Member # 15926
Default  Posted: 1:40 PM, December 31st (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Glad to hear it loney&depressed! Much strength to you!


Me;36FBS,Him;31FWH,married 14yrs
D14,S12,S8,OC13
OC was adopted 8/13/09
"Lucky I'm in love with my best friend."

Posts: 3519 | Registered: Aug 2007 | From: New York
Topic Posts: 1000
Pages: 1 · 2 · 3 · 4 · 5 · 6 · 7 · 8 · 9 · 10 · 11 · 12 · 13 · 14 · 15 · 16 · 17 · 18 · 19 · 20 · 21 · 22 · 23 · 24 · 25 · 26 · 27 · 28 · 29 · 30 · 31 · 32 · 33 · 34 · 35 · 36 · 37 · 38 · 39 · 40 · 41 · 42 · 43 · 44 · 45 · 46 · 47 · 48 · 49 · 50

Return to Forum: I Can Relate This Topic is Full
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.