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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Long Term Affairs XI I
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 5:10 PM, July 11th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh my. Shirley, I am so sorry you are having a bad time, but I can see why
the hardest thing for her would be to know that she had never been "treasured"

But I guess that's how we all feel. That is one of the problems we all face and that is why BT is so right (thanks again )
work on yourself. Strengthen yourself, value yourself, love yourself, and everything else will fall in line.

It has to be about you. It was their failing, their brokenness, not ours.
Meanwhile my fucktard H was extended business hours and trips so that he could get some on the side.

Yep and I can so relate to that. We trusted them and that made the lies fall easily from their lips. but they know that the implicit trust has gone. But that's their problem, not ours. Our lack of trust in them is justified and, for me, one of the saddest losses. And it has made me secretive because I do not want my H to have the insight into me anymore. I have a barrier that was not there before, but what is worse is the barrier I have erected within soul to protect myself from the emotional side of ME. A hardening of the edges. Does that make sense? Exposure to the pain has hardened my heart. And now I am a step removed. And I think he knows that.

But, after almost two years, I have gone a week (I think) without crying.

You'll get there, Shirley. Ride with the wave if you can, and let it take you to the shore. Sending healing thoughts, shirley, and big hugs (((((shirley))))).
*****

That should go in the book of the most stoopidest things that WSs have said.

Yeh, along with the reply to my question about why they went from the dinner table to his room at the hotel that fateful night when he fucked her -
"it was just down the corridor". Handy then. What a fuckwit.

Hugs and hopes for a peaceful weekend. (((((Tribe)))))

[This message edited by UKgirl at 5:12 PM, July 11th (Friday)]


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 5:17 PM, July 11th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a barrier that was not there before, but what is worse is the barrier I have erected within soul to protect myself from the emotional side of ME. A hardening of the edges. Does that make sense? Exposure to the pain has hardened my heart. And now I am a step removed.

UKGirl - me too...that is one of the reasons I question R. Do I want to go forward with someone who I know I will never truly trust again. He may be trustworthy but because of what he has done, I won't let him back in fully. There is a part of me that will always be kept back so why not just start over with someone new. I can take down the walls and, maybe, get hurt again or maybe have something special with someone who "treasures" me.

Lost H- I am okay. I fled to F&G to try to stop crying. I learned to post pics down there so you guys better be careful!


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 5:25 PM, July 11th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can take down the walls and, maybe, get hurt again or maybe have something special with someone who "treasures" me.

Its all your choice, Shirley.
Whatever you decide, when you are ready, know that you will us marching along side you.

Should you stay with your H, I highly doubt that he would EVER doubt what a "treasure" you would have given him.

***
HAve a peaceful weekend, Tribe.


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 5:31 PM, July 11th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You gals are posting what's on my mind! I want to be treasured... not taken for granted.

There's more but H is away and I'm also trying to escape the tears and sad thoughts in Fun & Games. Hopefully it will shorten the evening for me.

{{{LTA Tribe}}} I hate wkends!


Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 9:20 PM, July 11th (Friday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all again for your support today. I am now helping a friend in the middle of a crisis. Not an A but major disrespect, diminishing her issues, etc.

She left to go to a hotel because she is so upset. I am trying to get her home but, quite frankly, her H is being an asshat. God, why are some men such pricks?


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 10:01 AM, July 12th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((to everyone)))

I've just tried to catch up, but have tons to do today and can't respond until I return from at least getting one of my errands done.

BTW: I hate him today.

But I realize, I really do, that part of the problem is me. I can't seem to shake the "YOU did it, so why the big problem if I do it?" attitude.

He's right on one thing that if he has to be completely open with me, I have to with him, but we all know HE"S NOT. SO I think that gives me a "right" to not tell him everything too.

Really, it's no big deal. I got a parking ticket. The day I got it he was "pissy" so I didn't tell him. I know I just don't feel like getting the crap when he's like that, so I didn't tell him. I didn't hide the ticket. He found it today on the table where it's been for 3 days.

Big blow up about how there's "dual standards" and he can't hide anything, but I can.

SO, the question... do I ask him when he was planning on telling me he called "them"? If he's not hiding anything, then why do I know only by checking phone records.

Maybe I'll just ask him if he's told me everything he's done that might incur MY wrath. If he doesn't own up to it, I can just walk away and say "ok, then I guess we are operating under your "affair" rules -- if you're not asked, you don't have to tell." Guess I could be really evil and say "oh and if you're asked about something like infidelity, you can also lie. Forgot that caveat."

Fucker today, really.

I can explain to him till I"m blue in the face about how his anger affects me, he doesn't care, that's MY problem. He doesn't have to change, only me.


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 11:57 AM, July 12th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Weepy, I don’t think making furtive and secretive phone calls to certain females compares to getting a parking ticket. A parking ticket is no big deal and will have no impact on your relationship – unless you are planning to offer a shag or a BJ to the warden as a form of alternative method of payment.

Does this mean you have to account for every move of every day? Every bill, every conversation, every stop at a traffic light? There’s openness and honesty and there’s plain dumb-ass behaviour. <<<Shaking my head here>>>

Shirley and lostsuol, saw you were down in F&G. It’s a good place for a pick me up. I scooted in for a bit, but I haven’t learned to do pics yet.

Someone put me in bubble wrap and post me somewhere til the end of the month. July can go hang.

[This message edited by UKgirl at 11:58 AM, July 12th (Saturday)]


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 3:12 PM, July 12th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Someone put me in bubble wrap and post me somewhere til the end of the month. July can go hang

Uh oh, Ukg. Looks like your June is here.

DiD I read somewhere that you were thinking to go to Au with DS and meet up with other DSs??
GO!!! Just go. You are so in need of a break, and maybe this would be it. The hols are almost here. Go, Ukg. A couple of weeks in the sun. I know this reeks of running away, but all the stuff will still be here, and maybe you need to be in a "different place" to tackle them head on, KWIM:?

Anyway, I know July sucks for you. Just know that you WILL get through it.Almost 2.5 weeks left to go. HAng in there, Ukg.

((((Ukg))))

****

Hi Weepy.

I can explain to him till I"m blue in the face about how his anger affects me, he doesn't care, that's MY problem. He doesn't have to change, only me
.

I so hate to agree with your H, but he is right in a way. It is YOUR problem. he has made it clear that he is not prepared to change, not in any meaningful way, at any rate. And you can only control and change you.
But you know that already.

I cant imagine how frustrating and tiring it must be to be married to your H.

((((Weepy))))

***

Hey Shirley.
hope you managed to sleep a bit.

This WILL get better, Shirley. This WILL get better.

***
Fnf, are you ok?

***
BT, thank you for being you.

***
I am reading a Dean Koontz book. I LOVE his books. I was reading a chickbook prior to this one, and I actually burst into tears towards the end. How dare that author make me cry with her cheap sentiments. I was so cross afterwards, that i am steering clear away from chick books.

Btw, BT, some of the heroine in this book (The Good Guy)reminds me of you.


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 7:48 PM, July 12th (Saturday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just a quick hello since it's been a very crazy weekend so far. Good crazy but I'm ready to crash. Weepy, sorry your H is at it again. I was hoping he'd be a little easier to get along with following your vacation. I don't know how you do it, I really don't.
I do know though, from my own experience, that I wouldn't play into his temper tantrums. Somebody has to stop this vicious cycle and Weepy I'm afraid it's got to be you.
When's your next break? I'd be packing up for another trip. It's just too tiring to keep those games going, IMHO.
(((Weepy)))
LH - I'm around but we had such a busy weekend with the highlight being a hot air balloon ride over acres of fields and forests. Pretty neat. I had some company for dinner when I got home and now I'm barely keeping my eyes open but wanted to check in to see how everyone was doing. Thanks for asking. I hope you're enjoying your weekend and some time with your beautiful children.
HS - hope you're feeling better today. Thinking of you and sending some hugs if you need a few.
UGK - hope you are feeling a little stronger too. I know you're having a rough time lately and I'm with LH on this, maybe a break away with your sons would be exactly what you need to do for yourself. Is this possible? I love spending time with each of my children without my H. It gives me time to have that one-on-one, relationship building quality time that it so so satisfying. I hope this is something you might consider.


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
lovinlife
♀ Member
Member # 17863
Cool  Posted: 9:13 AM, July 13th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just stopping in for a moment to say Good Morning.
Everyone has been in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope things start to go better for all!!


Together more than half our lives.

I am woman, hear me ROAR!!
What you accept, you teach!

Me 53, WS 54
Reconciled for life!
DD 24, DS 27


Posts: 1159 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: Missouri
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 10:56 AM, July 13th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Everyone has been in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope things start to go better for all!

That goes for me too.

FWH and I have been struggling with several issues for the last month so I've been mostly lurking (and I ventured into Fun & Games for a little diversion) but my prayers always include my LTA tribe. Our anniversary in June should have been ignored but I gave in to H's wanting to make it 'special'. And shouldn't have!
It seems that every time I think he gets it I am shown that this is not the case.

I am so thankful for the wisdom and support here. {{{LTA}}}

Time to get ready for a lunch date... Read you later.


Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
So Lost
♀ Member
Member # 16801
Default  Posted: 6:58 PM, July 13th (Sunday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know that I will ever be truly treasured. He didn't do that before the A. I was in a long term relationship (the only one other than who I married and I was truly treasured in that relationship and I think of it sometimes and miss it. I was adored and loved and taken care f. We were together when I was 16 until about 21, so we grew apart and it just wasn't the right timing. But I often wonder what it would have been like to be married to someone like that.

Instead, i have a A who is now trying hard, but treasuring me is just not in the picture. I think I still grieve for that,


Me: BS
Wh: WS
Dday 10/28/07
LTA with coworker
Attempting Reconciliation
he is remorseful, I am willing, we'll see what happens

Posts: 671 | Registered: Oct 2007
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 3:09 AM, July 14th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Morning all and hope the weekend was okay. Just catching up with you all.

LOSTH, thanks for the support. I’m not good about this month. Or certain dates last month, but they were just angry dates whereas these are emotional dates.

FNF. Wow! Neat – I bet it was, sounds like you’ve had a great time and I’m very jealous! And yes, I am considering visiting DS’s out it Australia. And taking DS4 with me.

LOVIN', it’s good to see someone who has taken the whole A and shoved it under the bus and then not looked back. You are one positive person. (applause!!)

Re wedding anniversaries: My answer to our anniversary is that we are not having one. I have made it clear that marriage is over and dumped. And I shall tell FWH in no uncertain terms how I feel about it in the run up to my parents’ diamond wedding bash, which happens to be the same weekend as our non-anniversary. I shall be very cool about any reference to it from anyone. I think the thing that makes me mad is that he told OW that i practically dragged him up the aisle when, in fact, I wasn't even bothered about getting married!!

I don't know that I will ever be truly treasured. He didn't do that before the A. I was in a long term relationship (the only one other than who I married and I was truly treasured in that relationship and I think of it sometimes and miss it. I was adored and loved and taken care f. We were together when I was 16 until about 21, so we grew apart and it just wasn't the right timing. But I often wonder what it would have been like to be married to someone like that.

Now I know you don’t mean for that wistful thought to be a trigger, SoLost, but ….. that is partly what FWH and MOW tried to recapture. It was a hopelessly romantic notion. That was then and all part of growing up, finding emotions and reacting to them in a very intense way. That is what being that age is all about. They were together from about 16 to about 20. But I do know what you mean. It's what they had and what I never had.

Now I have something else to say but I have stuff to do, so - back later!

Oh, and have a great week everyone!


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 4:10 AM, July 14th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Opinions or 2x4’s please, or a hug. I want to know if I am missing something or being unreasonable. This morning FWH got up to make tea and turn on the computer to collect his emails. Then he came up and said he was starting next week his new job a week today. Schools break up for summer this Friday. Was it unreasonable for me to assume he would be starting in the week of 1st August, or with the 1st being a Friday, to start on 4th? Or that it would occur to him, having been hanging around at home working on getting a job, it would be nice if the three of us could go away for a few days before starting? He told me he had said it would be an immediate start. What difference does a week make? So why do I feel guilty now – he did ask if there was a problem! And then he said I could book Australia for me and DS4 to go and see DS1&2. (I don’t know where DS2 will be, he’s going to be going up the coast to Cairns while DS1 stays in Brisbane a bit longer.) Am I coming across as whiny and needy? It’s a good job, but …. ?

I dunno. I just let it go. I got errands to run today (tax office – ugh!) I want to give myself a “free” day tomorrow to I can just go off. It’s my birthday and I am dreading it. I feel slightly sick. I wish I’d booked myself in somewhere for a health spa day, but after last year I thought I’d just try and ignore the day this year With any luck it will just pass by.

Check in later.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 4:49 AM, July 14th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

{{{UKgirl}}} I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. I'd expect the same as you. Of course, I often find we think alike so maybe I too need a hug or a 2x4!

And I don't claim to be thinking straight just now. I just woke up from a nightmare (4 am on this side of the ocean). It's been an awful wkend and I feel like Dday all over again. I can't seem to do anything to 'escape' from the pain. If I start to feel better, FWH shows me AGAIN that he just doesn't get it.

I can't reconcile his words with his actions. The 2nd year has been worse in many ways than the 1st since Dday.

I've just re-read the wkend's posts. UKgirl, your post to Shirley on Friday really touched me.
HS, I feel like we are sharing the same experience except that my FWH has not done the work that yours has. I am sure that your friend is glad to have you there for her.

I'm going to go back to bed. Enough sleepless nights! Praying for a better tomorrow (later today?) for all of us.


Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 7:16 AM, July 14th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

UKG - no 2 x 4s just lots of hugs. I don't remember how long your H was out of work but I can tell you from our experience (my H decided to retire shortly after d-day and was out of work for 9 months)that the day he told me he was going back to work I was thrilled.

He drove me crazy, following me around like a damn puppy, always searching my face trying to see what kind of mood I was in, looking over my shoulder when I was on SI and spending every freakin' minute with me.
So I guess that's why I'm a little confused even though I do understand why you would want to have a mini vacation before he starts up.
Is it too late to book something for this week.
We have a beach resort about 2 hours from here and you can always find something, especially during the week. Weekends book up quickly though. You said school lets out this Friday so possibly there would be some openings since everyone schedules their vacations after the school year ends.
Even if you just take day trips and go out to dinner. How does that sound?
I hope you do go to visit your sons in Australia. What a wonderful break that would be for you.
Happy birthday to you. Please try to do something special for yourself, even if it is just to sit out in the sun and read a good book, sip on some fine wine and do absolutely nothing else. Let your H and son fend for themselves and if they want to serve you dinner that would be an extra bonus.
Lots and lots of hugs, UKG!
Lostsoul - sorry you're having such a rough time. I agree that the second year can be the hardest. I posted during the early part of my second year that I felt the pain was greater because we no longer had the shock and denial reaction that we have following d-day to protect us, KWIM???
Keep posting here and hopefully the pain will begin to ease for you.
Hugs to you LS.
SL - I think what UKG said is so true. We look back on our first loves with such "rose colored glasses" and we can never know how that would have turned out in the long haul. I was out yesterday with my mom and brother and passed by an old flames neighborhood and felt a bit meloncholy. The "if only" kind of feeling. He was the first and only other person I have been in love with other than my H and he was crazy about me. And stupidly I broke his heart.
I ended our relationship and months later realized that I made a mistake. But there was no going back.
But I do know what you are saying - that you did have the experience of being treasured and unfortunately we all know how painful it is to realize that we have not been treasured in our M's.
(((SL)))


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, July 14th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

UKGirl - I'm with FNF. If my H was around all the time it would drive me batshit and that was BEFORE Dday!!! These men seem helpless at home. There was a chance in Dec. that my H's company would be taken over and he would be "packaged out" - great $$ but he would have been "on the beach" for a while. This was only a few months after Dday and I was terrified of having him around.

Anyway, I think in this case it was just a matter of mis-communication.

He told me he had said it would be an immediate start.

But you assumed that meant after the 1st. Unfortunately, neither of you stated specifically what it meant. Also, maybe he really didn't have a choice if that is the job he wanted. Please try not to get too upset.

I agree with FNF (again ) that you should try to at least do a mini-spa day (how about just a mani and a pedi) or something special for yourself tomorrow. Also, I made it VERY clear in May that there was NO anniversary to celebrate, remember, mourn, etc. If he had even mentioned it I probably would have kicked him in the b@lls!!!

And, if you can get away to Australia, you should go. First, it is lovely there. Second, you get to see your DS(s) and thirdly, it is a break for you.


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
So Lost
♀ Member
Member # 16801
Default  Posted: 9:32 AM, July 14th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((UKgirl))) I'm sorry to haev triggered you like that. I don't think I was even really thinking. It's true though, we have rose-colored glasses about that ite of life. It woudl haev never lasted.


Me: BS
Wh: WS
Dday 10/28/07
LTA with coworker
Attempting Reconciliation
he is remorseful, I am willing, we'll see what happens

Posts: 671 | Registered: Oct 2007
lovinlife
♀ Member
Member # 17863
Content  Posted: 10:08 AM, July 14th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

it’s good to see someone who has taken the whole A and shoved it under the bus and then not looked back.

UKGirl,

Hey.... thanks, it's just that I really don't want to waste anymore time than necessary!! I haven't forgotten and never will, but like fnf said about a lost love, there is NO going back. FWH nor I can change what happened. He made a horrific choice but it is water under the bridge...

So I have decided to move full-speed ahead, hoping to have a better today and tomorrow. Constantly dwelling on what happened gets you nowhere, and it can follow you for the rest of our lives. IF we let it!!

If I had one piece of advice for anyone dealing with this it would be to get help, talk about it, decide how to handle future questions, and then move forward, or let go. Hard, but not really as hard as it sounds. If we decide to R, then we need to do it!

And it has been worth it.

I just turned 51 and am loving it... so enjoy your Birthday.


Together more than half our lives.

I am woman, hear me ROAR!!
What you accept, you teach!

Me 53, WS 54
Reconciled for life!
DD 24, DS 27


Posts: 1159 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: Missouri
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 1:08 PM, July 14th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SoL. No worries, honey. It just makes my eyes roll when I read/hear about school sweethearts, whether reunited or not. It comes back to The Butterfly Effect and Sliding Doors. If only’s. If wishes were horses, beggars would ride, if ifs and ands were pots and pans, there’d be no need for tinkers”

Shirley and FNF. He’s a company director. Usually it is the beginning of the month, or the company want to get certain things in place first, all the paperwork and suchlike. Or at least two or three weeks between accepting the job and starting. This time it was immediate as in “immediate”. Generally speaking, when he’s “between jobs”, it’s around three to six months if he’s not been directly approached. This time it’s been six weeks, which is nothing. He works a lot from home as he travels a fair bit doing the handshaking, networking, opening doors, getting the right team together, high level meetings and such. Most positions last a few years, by which time he’s got the thing turned around and profitable and ready to move on to the next post. He’s easily bored. Which should have spoken volumes over the years. Oh well, wise after the event and all that. This morning, he went up to play a few holes of golf on his own and got a call from another headhunter who thought he’d secured him in another job, long story, but FWH gave them three weeks to sort a contract, they didn’t, so took the other role. They offered more in every way. He said it was too late and his credibility would be in question. And then he said he was decisive in his business decision making. He had made a conscious choice and would not be led by emotional decisions. WTF? And then he was so angry, he broke his 8 iron. To go with his broken 5 iron and broken something else. So I laughed.

So he saved his emotional choices for his fucking affair then. For his personal life. Comes down to compartmentalising I suppose. “Work” and “Affair” and “Her indoors” and “golf”.

As for doing something special over the next few days, the weather is due to be crap. And he wants to take me to lunch tomorrow – because it’s my birthday. I didn’t say anything, I just had that sinking feeling. I might see if I can book somewhere in at short notice for a mani/pedi treatment.

Getting DS3 to help me with cooking dinner tonight. I really don’t feel like eating.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
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