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User Topic: Long Term Affairs XI I
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 7:49 AM, July 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Get fucking real. I'm now Little Miss Wipe-Your-Own A**

You are a warrior, woman!


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 8:02 AM, July 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And I was doing all that even though he thought I “DIDN’T LOVE HIM”. WTF was I doing it for then?

UKG - This is the classic "cognitive distortion" line that I'll bet every one of us has heard from our H's. I have and I feel your rage, I really do. They told themselves so many lies during those years. How else could they have lived with themselves while they were fucking someone else? They knew, they had to know, how evil it was but if they could tell themselves these lies, then they could alleviate some of the guilt they were living with.
No doubt it is the most unfair, infuriating and insulting thing to hear from their lying mouths but I believe it IS what they convinced themselves of so they could continue their double lives.
One of the cognitive distortions that my H said to me in front of our MC was, "I didn't think you were carrying your load." I think my MC looked a little afraid of me when I blasted my H for that.
You see, UKG, I too am a SAHM and as I told my H in a screaming rage that day, I was not only carrying my load but I was carrying his as well. I said to him, "Do you think because you were bringing home a paycheck that you were carrying your load? I was carrying my load AND your load during those years."
I think that's what makes all of this so hurtful and infuriating. They were off doing "their thing" while we were doing everything to keep our families intact never knowing that while we were trying to preserve our families they were working to destroy them. This is what is so painful to come to terms with and I do think as SAHM's we feel doubly betrayed. If your H was like mine, he was never home during those years. He would go into the office at 7 a.m. and not get home until after 11 P.M. All the while I'm feeling sorry for him that he had such long hours. Little did I know that he was staying late so he could fuck this piece of shit.
And yes, we were doing everything on the homefront to keep our lives running smoothly. We were both mother and father to our children as they progressed from one stage of their lives into the next. We were confidants, college counsellors, homework supporters, proofreaders, entertainers, maid service, the whole nine yards. And all the while our H's diminished the value of our contributions. I understand your rage. I've been there.
My children are all successful and well-adjusted and happy and I feel very justified in assuming the credit for their development as I was the one who walked with them as they struggled into adulthood. I know this is true in your case as well. We need to acknowledge our contributions and take pride in all that we accomplished on this front. I feel pride every time I am with my children and I sometimes want to gloat knowing that my H cannot take credit for the way our children have turned out.
I did want to comment on the 5 star hotel. You mentioned that the OW's H was very successful and they led a privileged lifestyle. I hope this doesn't upset you but it comes as no surprise that your H felt he had to compete in this - why else did he book a 5 star hotel?
He was in competition and he knew it.
It's part of the game trying to show these OW how they can give them not just what they already have but so much more.
I'm glad for you that your H will be gone for the week. I think you need this break. I think it might also be a good idea to make an IC'ing appointment to work through some of your rage. This is not healthy for you. I also think it might be a good idea to make an appointment for a relaxing massage. Our bodies cannot take continued stress like this and you have been feeling this so intensely for a while now. Don't neglect yourself now. When I look at all the ways our H's indulged themselves over those years, believe me, I have no qualms whatsoever indulging myself in order to survive. Do whatever it takes to bring down your stress level. Your health depends on it and your peace of mind even more so.
Many, many hugs, UKG.


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 10:56 AM, July 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

UK:

For me, I would have to hear him admit that that was complete bullshit. He would literally have to say to me that he knew that he had made up the "she doesn't love me" crap to give himself permission to cheat. That it was a complete and utter lie, and that all evidence pointed to the fact that I did love him and always had.

Honestly, this is one piece of shit I am glad I did not have to deal with because that would have sent me off the freakin' deep end.

Just think about it. They are out fucking someone else, wining and dining them, spending family money to try to impress another woman and THEY WANT US TO BELIEVE THEY LOVED US DURING ALL THAT.

And yet, they can say with a straight face that they believed we didn't love them, when we were busting our butts to show exactly the opposite. Give me a God damn break.

Fucking infuriating.

BT


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 11:15 AM, July 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

God. It’s so good to know I am not alone. IRL, I feel very alone, even though I have a few confidants who listen. I have IC tomorrow. But my friend who would give me massage is going through her own marital crisis.

How else could they have lived with themselves while they were fucking someone else?

Because I was never supposed to know. That’s it, plain and simple. No one knew. And her reasoning to her BH was she thought he “wouldn’t mind”. She never told him though, so a bit of her must have thought he might “mind” a teensy bit that she was fucking another man in his bed while he was away. Even if she did change the sheets.

I did want to comment on the 5 star hotel. You mentioned that the OW's H was very successful and they led a privileged lifestyle. I hope this doesn't upset you but it comes as no surprise that your H felt he had to compete in this - why else did he book a 5 star hotel?
He was in competition and he knew it.

spending family money to try to impress another woman

No he didn’t. He never felt he had to compete. I asked him many times how he felt about her H and their lifestyle, esp the fancy holidays, and he would just shrug – not bothered. The hotel would have been paid on expenses. And I don’t know if it was 5* or not, it would have been the best in the location, so at least a 4*. That is one thing that makes me smirk. All her costs were paid through his expenses. Like a whore. Although she’s not. My H has been as successful as hers, in the same field too. My income is based on my H’s sideline business. Nothing’s coming in on that right now, but there’s enough to filter out for a year or more before I’d think of closing it. She has her own well paid career in education. Overall, there’s probably not enough of a difference to be outwardly noticeable. We have enough savings so when FWH is not working, we carry on as before. I run the accounts and I had enough to pay off the mortgage about 8yrs early. We have no debts. We paid for DS2’s uni without batting an eyelid. And gave both DS1 and DS2 a wedge to go travelling with. The money is there, I’m just not money orientated. She is money and status obsessed. Hence tickets to the Royal Shakespeare in Stratford. I’m happy with being able to buy what I want, when I want and not worry about the cost. We went to Egypt for Christmas. Cost? Irrelevant. I really don’t know. The Christmas it gave me? Priceless. As Mastercard would say. But the cost of his affair? I wrote this after Xmas 2006. It should be centralised (have I posted this before?) and look like a Christmas tree in a pot.

My
Trinkets

The wedding ring.
A statement made in gold,
An heirloom or a joint purchase.
A visual display of love and attachment
But, like a promise broken, it is easily devalued.

Trinkets, baubles and bangles.
Who cares about the monetary value?
The true value is in the honesty behind the gift.
And those which have been given with an edge of guilt
Could not have been given with sincere love and an open heart.

Costume, gold, diamonds.
Ten pounds, a hundred, a thousand.
What are the costs to put against this deceit?
The gifts were purchased to try and assuage your shame.
A kind of exchange for time and passions spent with another love.

A ring, a necklace, a pair of earrings.
To adorn a body whose owner has no value to you.
Those precious gifts came with an unknown price tag;
The true price of an affair bought on credit, for later repayment,
The crucifying interest rate for head-in-the-sand never-never moments.

Little boxes, etched and velvet lined,
Accepted with delight, but unaware of the true debt
Of love given to the another woman in this ménage a trios;
Her presence brought forth presents for the married man’s wife,
Yet through your shared affection, she acquired the most expensive gift of all.

you gave
yourself
to her.

I’d rather be loved, poor and happy than wealthy and live with a man with no conscience or morals for five years.

Fucking infuriating
.
Yes. The POS.

ETA - Well, maybe not poverty "poor".

[This message edited by UKgirl at 11:28 AM, July 21st (Monday)]


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 1:33 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My other thought about this, "I thought you didn't love me" stuff is that it is classic projection.

The accurate statement is more likely, "I didn't think I loved you." But to make that palatable to their own ego they project their own feelings onto you and I. That also gives them the added justification in their own minds to find someone who does "love" them.

You'll never get a FWS to admit to that, however, I don't think.

[This message edited by BorrowTrouble at 1:55 PM, July 21st (Monday)]


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The accurate statement is more likely, "I didn't think I loved you." But to make that palatable to their own ego they project their own feelings onto you and I. That also gives them the added justification in their own minds to find someone who does "love" them.

You'll never get a FWS to admit to that, however, I don't think.


Believe it or not I got my H to admit that he didn't "love" me during that period. Not as a wife, anyway. He said he only thought of me as the mother of his children and an obligation, but also that he knew he loved me but wasn't "in love" with me.

ILYBINILWY. Isn't that the reverse angle?

He never said I didn't love him, he knew I did, it only added to the guilt.


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 3:42 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

UKG - This is the classic "cognitive distortion" line that I'll bet every one of us has heard from our H's. I have and I feel your rage, I really do. They told themselves so many lies during those years. How else could they have lived with themselves while they were fucking someone else? They knew, they had to know, how evil it was but if they could tell themselves these lies, then they could alleviate some of the guilt they were living with.

UK Girl - I agree with FNF wholeheartedly on this. HOWEVER, the trick is they MUST recognize this NOW and see it for what it was. If he is still saying that, he is still, at some level, still in the fog. He needs to come to terms with the fact that this had NOTHING to do with you. Do you think he really believes this still or he was just talking about how fucking stooopid he was then?


The accurate statement is more likely, "I didn't think I loved you." But to make that palatable to their own ego they project their own feelings onto you and I. That also gives them the added justification in their own minds to find someone who does "love" them.

You'll never get a FWS to admit to that, however, I don't think.

Oh my god - I can't believe it but BT - you are wrong!!

Empty One admitted exactly to this. His therapy is going very well and he came to a major realization from Friday and over the weekend. For most of his life, he didn't make active choices as much as just go along with what life threw at him (which happened to be a lot of women throwing themselves at him
)
Anyway, he finally realized that he had never really, truly "chosen" to be with me. He never made a deep active choice and committed himself to accepting the responsibilities that came with that choice.

We were in the middle of a major melt-down on Friday. I thought it was over. We were starting to discuss how to divide things up, how to tell the kids, etc. He was bawling crying and asking me why? Why now? I told him that I didn't think he wanted this bad enough. I didn't

feel
his deep burning desire to be in the marriage despite his work on himself and his actions over the last 11 months. I told him that I didn't want to be sitting here in another 25 years having the same discussion again because he wasn't sure. I asked him to take some time and really think about whether he wanted, deep down inside, to be with me or not. I just wanted an honest answer.

Yesterday, he told me that for the first time in his life, he is making a true and active choice and he wants to be with me. He said as soon as I asked him, he knew the answer was yes but he wanted to sit with it and make sure he knew. He spent all day Friday and Saturday going over and over it in his mind. So you know what it weird, when he came to me and said, yes, I want to commit to you, I could FEEL the difference. In my soul, I could feel it. He was there completely. Not just the part that he wanted to show.

I hope this feeling stays as it feels good. But, we had to pass through the painful knot-hole of him admitting to himself and to me that he didn't think he loved me. He was searching for love in the As. What he didn't know is that the love was inside him, not outside him.

Sorry for being so long-winded. This has been a long three days, but I think we may have taken a big step forward.


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 3:47 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((Ukg))))))

I am so so so sorry you are hurting.

So what did you think of his timeline? Have you both been through it together?

Re his asshatness during the A... ...do they all really read from the same book??

Vent away Ukg. Rather get some of the poison out here. I am with Fnf on getting an IC (not your MC).

Big big hugs, Ukg.
You ARE warrior. You will get through this, one way or the other.

****
When I woke up this am, H told me that his sister sms'd to say that she was coming over for the holidays. The same one who is/was a WS/OW. The same one who used me and betrayed me. The same one who despite all the support I had given her over the years (even when her own mother and brother didnt), told me that the reason H wanted a D (during the A), was because "nobody wants a frumpy dumpy housewife! Do something about yourself!", and after dday, "If you had kept him happy in bed, he wouldnt have needed to go elsewhere."

I am furious. I am scared. I know this will set us back years. She has done this many times in our M....turned up, stirred and poked, then left us foaming at the mouths at each other.

I told my IC today that I want to be left alone. Meaning I dont want any extra people in my life right now. I am trying to keep me safe, and for me, that means keeping away from dangerous people..and right now the whole world is dangerous...until proven otherwise.

I know this is not the way to live. I know its not healthy. I know its prob not even true. I just dont know how else to handle everything right now.

On Sat, my uncle sms'd me to say one of his good friends (a recent divorcee) was coming over to London, and as we were in the same field, can I advise her/moral support etc?

Previously, I would have been the epitome of helpfulness and graciousness.Now...one hour after the sms, I was crying. I dont know this woman, but I was so afraid of her. She could hurt me. I tried to explain it to H, but he doesnt understand.
Heck, I dont understand myself.

If anyone has any thoughts or BTDT stories, I would so appreciate it.
Thank you.


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 3:54 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am sitting here very happily being wrong.

Seriously, Shirley, I am happy for you and for Empty One. I think he had to get there and admit that, just as my husband did, before he could start living a true life. Before he could be convinced he really had to change everything.

When I said WSes wouldn't admit that, I guess I was referring to those WSes who insist that they loved their WS during the affairs. No matter how much I've read or seen here, I'll simply never believe that.

As for you, there is something about authentic truth, when you hear it, you know it. It's amazing the feeling it sparks in you.


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 4:08 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lost Heart - is there any way you can just say "no" she is not coming into my home? My Hs sister knew about his first LTA and didn't intervene (or tell me - obviously). I am NC with her and his whole family. They are not allowed to call the house. If they want to talk to him, they have to call his cell. I really hope you can find a way to keep her away because, from what you have said today and in the past, she is a very toxic person.

ETA: sorry, hit enter too soon...

Also, as far as helping people...I used to volunteer, help in the schools, etc, etc, etc. After dday, I quit every committee, un-volunteered myself from everything. I just HAD to focus on myself or I wasn't going to survive. I would politely decline and just say with your new job and the kids, etc. you simple do not have time right now. BUT, you will definitely keep it in mind for the future when your plate isn't so full. Give it a try...very liberating.

BT - thanks. I think he feels very good about it too. I hope this was the step that we needed. I know we have so much ahead of us, but I feel better facing it all knowing that he isn't here out of some distorted sense of obligation.

[This message edited by hurtshirley at 4:11 PM, July 21st (Monday)]


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 4:27 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shirley,
Sorry I missed your post.

So you know what it weird, when he came to me and said, yes, I want to commit to you, I could FEEL the difference. In my soul, I could feel it. He was there completely. Not just the part that he wanted to show

Oh yeah baby!!!
I am so happy for you and EO, Shirley. Sometimes it takes those meltdowns that seem to be an end of everything, to get us into the next stage.
Well done to you both.

***

I would politely decline and just say with your new job and the kids, etc. you simple do not have time right now

Shirley,I dont think I explained myself properly. Its not that my plate is full (though it is)...its because this woman (and very woman I meet) is a potential OW.

Before, I didnt trust men, but I enjoyed women company. I believed that we should support each other, that we should stick together etc. We were a nation of our own. Now after 2OW, and all the OW here and IRL, women (like men) scare me (in a diff way). Am I losing my mind or does that make sense?

Apart from the women here and the few who I know IRL, people now scare me.I want to be left alone (in my small world).

I am going to bed (to spend another night awake) and think this through.

Thanks though, Shirley.


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 4:32 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lost,

I did much the same as Shirley after d-day. I just quit everything. I stopped volunteering, stopped hanging out with friends, stopped having people over, stopped reading, stopped pretty much everything except focusing on myself.

I will say I think I took this a bit too far, although in my case it was followed close on the heels by a small natural disaster called katrina that ripped what was left of my security away. Between Katrina and d-day, I have become something of a hermit and it's been a struggle to pull myself out of that.

Still, if I had to put up with a pushy OW I might have committed murder. Is there no way you can tell this woman she can't come?

BT


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
SickInMySoul
♀ Member
Member # 19945
Default  Posted: 4:33 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can someone help me not to have to read through 4,000,000 posts on this topic and just tell me how long constitutes an LTA? I am not sure if I belong here or not. H's PA was just at 1 year, EA I am not sure how long of before that...could have been only weeks.

Thanks! I guess I am being lazy! But there are a TON of posts in this part!


BS (me) 44
WS 51
two amazing girls 22 & 23
one year PA with a 22 yr old "friend" of ours.
Dday 4-7-08
Looking forward to being one of the R success stories!

5-09**seriously wondering if I can get past this...
9-10**still struggling..


Posts: 216 | Registered: Jun 2008
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 4:51 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope...gotta read all 4,000,000 posts...

sorry, but we like to goof around in here too!!

I think the definition of LTA is over 2 years but don't quote me on that. If you feel like you need or want to be here, please stay. We have been through it all and are willing to help.


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 4:52 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sick,

As sad as it is, one year is not generally considered a long-term affair. Two or more years is kind of the bench-mark.

BT


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 5:54 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Is there no way you can tell this woman she can't come?

No BT. She is H's sister after all. You know the not-so-funny thing? Previously, they almost hated each other's guts. There was so much rivalry and contempt (motivated by their parents choosing one over the other)between them. After dday, they became v close, with her encouraging him to D me, as he was obviously so unhappy as to have done what he did.

She is no friend of this M.
H as much said I dont have a choice. So I guess he will have to deal with the consequences of what she brings.

I have been saying here how great things have been at home...and they have.
So I am really confused why I am battling so much. H and I hardly fight anymore. We are getting along so well. It feels like we are on the same team.

Which is why I am so confused why I am struggling so much. You would think I would be just floating.

Its 23.52 and I cant sleep.I have dosed myself. I have tapped. I have cleared my head...kinda. Almost every night, its like this...and I am so tired. I wont even drink coffee past 2 pm.
H is, of course, snoring.

IC says that even though things are going well in my day to day life, I still have alot of anger/hurt/resentment inside caused by H and FOO, and thats prob whats flowing just beneath my surface all the time.

It kinda makes me feel despondent, because I thought I was moving forward. She says its going to take a long time to deal with that stuff. I am tired and bored with that stuff. I dont want to think of that anymore..enough time has been wasted. I want to live and stay in the now.

Jeez, this is hard.


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 6:51 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Still up, Lost?


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
So Lost
♀ Member
Member # 16801
Default  Posted: 6:59 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Weepy)))) I am so sorry for it all. The least he could have done was make a point to remember the day.

BT, LostHeart, forgivenotforget...thank you for commenting on my post. You know, I suddenly realize how important it is for me to do that for others. I was just so upset and simply beside myself when I posted and I took a bath and thought, I'm going back to Si, they'll have something wonderful and helpful to say and no one had posted to me. Silly, I know. I was just feeling so irrational despondent. Anyway, appreciate the support so much.

Oh UKGirl (((((Hugs))))) I am so sorry. It hurts so bad, i truly know that. And sometimes we are just at our limit.

Hurtshirley, sounds like some amazing progress. Wonderful! I hope that feeling lasts as well! You deserve it!

Oh (((LostHeart)))) That would have me a mess as well. Do you have to be around her when she visits? How long will she stay for? Is there any way to avoid it? It just sound s like no good to me and I would think hard of a way to get around it. A special holiday trip or something...sorry, we won't be home. I don't know, but it is not worth it to have her around. She sounds toxic.

OK, writing as I read.I see you can't not have her there. Seriously, make up some excuse, some way to get out of it. She just sounds vile.

I have stoppe volunteering and socializing quite a bit. It is just hard. Even work part time is hard. I am amazed how many times people talk about divorce and affairs. I find it soooo upsetting. And I just don't have the energy to be 'on' anymore no one IRL knows, so I just avoid. I need to stop. I need to get back in to life.


H signed the entire family up for a 5K for the AHA in the fall. His work will havea team--the entire hospital we both work at will have 54 times. It is very, very possible that she could be here. I know that she walks as he once told me she kn ew so and so b/c the occassional walked together.

So I am a mess about this 5K. I have not told H. I am not in shape and have jst had bck surgery. I want to be thinner adn in better shape by then. The thought of eeing her for thefirst time when I look all frumpy dumpy mkes me sick. I don't even know if I woudl see her or not or if he oudl tell m. Anyway, i started today withexercise and diet. We'll see how it goes. I hate her.


Me: BS
Wh: WS
Dday 10/28/07
LTA with coworker
Attempting Reconciliation
he is remorseful, I am willing, we'll see what happens

Posts: 671 | Registered: Oct 2007
So Lost
♀ Member
Member # 16801
Default  Posted: 7:00 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

d it helps a ton that our computers screwy and online dating and meeting women sites keep popping up. Ugh.


Me: BS
Wh: WS
Dday 10/28/07
LTA with coworker
Attempting Reconciliation
he is remorseful, I am willing, we'll see what happens

Posts: 671 | Registered: Oct 2007
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 7:15 PM, July 21st (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I am a mess about this 5K. I have not told H. I am not in shape and have jst had bck surgery.

SoLost - has your dr. signed off on this? I have had some back issues (nothing as serious as yours) and running (at least for me) is a major no-no. All the pounding is terrible on the vertibrae.

d it helps a ton that our computers screwy and online dating and meeting women sites keep popping up. Ugh.

okay, do you have a geek squad near you? If you don't know how to do it yourself, you need someone to install some major pop-up blockers right now. Also, have you checked your history to make sure they aren't popping up because "someone" has been to those sites?


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

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