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User Topic: Long Term Affairs XI I
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 5:36 AM, August 20th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why can't he see that for 20 years while we were virtually broke after bill payments, that I was fine. I loved him then but that was b/c I was not aware of the true man that I was married to. Since Dday, I can now see this different man, one that I would never have married.

Whoa. I'm in the midst of a journal entry and I've just written something eerily similar. That one of the things I have to "let go" of is that I will never know who I married. And the problem is, if he was insincere then and this is the true him... then no, I do not want to be married to this guy.

I got the material things too.. why? because they are solid and visible and measurable. My H thinks it's appropriate because "he never spent a dime on OW." And he tried to give me in $ value what he spent on the hookers...at first. He doesn't realize that every dime he spends and every time he has comments about how others spend their money I'm reminded of what he literally gave away.

To move from this, my challenge is rethink my notion of love, and accept, not just intellectually, but with all my heart as well, that I can not truly love anyone UNTIL I love myself.

Funny, I did love myself. I really liked who I was. I felt smart and capable, now I wonder every day if I was more stupid THEN or now. I doubt myself where I never did before. I was confident and now not. I can take care of myself. I know what I want, what would make me happy, but I can't have it. Never will. And now I have to give up that hope and take care of myself. Love me because my partner can't.


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
mindisgone
♀ Member
Member # 17772
Default  Posted: 6:01 AM, August 20th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

But to be honest, totally honest, no I do not love him like I used to. He killed that. That's something else that I tried to make him understand this last weekend. He thinks all can be merry and beautiful for the rest of our lives. He can't seem to understand me when I tell him that we may make it through this and that we may be able to stay together, but that never ever will we have the happy M that we could have had. It can never be that now. KWIM. He can't agree to that.

Same here FSA , but do you ever wonder sometimes if he can't agree to that because it's simply too final a thought to contemplate or if it's more inline with the ignore reality kind of thinking that they used to cheat in the first place?

Hi LH,

My H can be brutally honest (when it suits him)and he told flat out that he never loved me. At all. He said he liked the way I made him feel, the way I loved him and cared for him. But love...not really.

Do you believe him ? I know whenever my H is "brutally honest" , it usually only means his shame is catching up with him and lashes out to hurt me instead. It usually has the desired effect too.I also think it sounds like he's describing how OW2 made him feel.



However, he did fall in love with OW#2, and when she had sex with him, he thought she loved him too.He even contemplated marrying her |(but I guess she being the more experienced WS, put an and to that thought).

Which then raises all sorts of ugly questions like what if she said yes; what if I had not insisted on coming to the UK; when did he fall OUT of love, etc.

I think what BT said answers this question.

I don't think my husband had the faintest idea of how to love anything or anyone. He never learned it as a child, and didn't learn it until well into middle age. But I do think he recognized it when he saw it in me. And that is why he stayed married. Not because of what he felt/was willing to do for me, but because of what I felt and was willing to do for him.

(((hugs)))
ETA. Reading this back i thought it may seem like i'm contradicting myself but my intention was to say , however HE felt, no doubt he DID recognize that what you felt was the real thing .


[This message edited by mindisgone at 6:13 AM, August 20th (Wednesday)]


too long a sacrifice can make a stone of the heart..

Posts: 678 | Registered: Jan 2008
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 7:07 AM, August 20th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Same here FSA , but do you ever wonder sometimes if he can't agree to that because it's simply too final a thought to contemplate or if it's more inline with the ignore reality kind of thinking that they used to cheat in the first place?

mig, absolutely I believe this. And all my reading and talks with C's has just cemented this knowledge in me. I do not believe they can face reality.

But hell, I spent 10 years of my life telling myself things weren't the way they seemed. Making excuses for behavior that was totally unacceptable. Reality was that I was in an abusive relationship and if I faced that, then my marriage would have had to end. And I could NOT let that happen. Whatever our problems, I would NEVER have my children living the life I did after my parents split. I was POSITIVE he would come around.

It took OW turning into serious trouble for that to happen. Everyone says that I am "lucky" that my H woke up and stopped his affairs on his own, enforced his own NC and every one ASSUMES it was because he came to his senses and realized what he had. WRONG. His reasons for stopping were about him, had nothing to do with me. It was painful for HIM, tiring for HIM, scary for HIM. He couldn't look at himself in the mirror because he was ashamed of THEM, not of what he was doing, but of what he was doing it with. I never entered into the equation.


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 9:22 AM, August 20th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow....just WOW!

I just caught up on the last few pages. Holeeee shit. It took me the better part of 2 hours to get through all that has been said and felt here. I see all the struggles and pain and I just again have to shake my head that one human being is capable of doing this to another without even a thougt.

But to BTs point:

Intellectually, I had always known that there were people in the world who simply did not think the way that I did. They held none of the same values or standards for behavior. Folks who didn't believe in the golden rule, or honor or integrity, who considered those concepts absurd. They might have looked like you or me, but they were not. It was shocking to me to talk to them and hear what they truly believed about the world and their place in it.

I never knew this. I am still stunned when I read the news about some particular horrific crime and I think to myself "how could anyone do that?". However, BT, your point is a timely one. My H and I had a rather lengthy discussion last night around this. He told me that I may never understand that he was never taught anything about the "right" way to live. He wasn't taught anything at all. Anything he learned, he learned through observation in a household full of violent drunks and sexual predators. He watched his parents fight and call each other the most horrible names but stay together. He watched women being subjected to all kinds of horrible treatment. He learned that sex was taken freely when wanted. These are the "life skills" he learned. For someone from my background, this type of personality development was unimaginable. And to Weepy's point, I gave most people the benefit of the doubt. So not only did I not know that NPD and sociapaths walked in my midst, I certainly would NEVER have believed that man I loved was one of them.

That's why they can mistake a certain fondess that they had for us for love.

I don't think my husband had the faintest idea of how to love anything or anyone. He never learned it as a child, and didn't learn it until well into middle age. But I do think he recognized it when he saw it in me. And that is why he stayed married. Not because of what he felt/was willing to do for me, but because of what I felt and was willing to do for him.

OMG - that is it! I have to show this to EO. I think he will confirm this exactly. And, I, like others here, was guilty of giving and giving and giving and never taking care of myself.

FSA - I don't say ILY to my H. I haven't since dday1. I have told him that he completely killed whatever love I had for him. I am waiting to see if I will allow myself to love again. Right now, I don't feel anything for him. I can see continuing to maintain our life for our kids and, frankly, because I have it pretty good. But will I ever love him again? Just don't know yet. And, in a tragic turn, I think he really loves me for the first time.

[This message edited by hurtshirley at 9:24 AM, August 20th (Wednesday)]


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
mindisgone
♀ Member
Member # 17772
Default  Posted: 9:56 AM, August 20th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

But hell, I spent 10 years of my life telling myself things weren't the way they seemed. Making excuses for behavior that was totally unacceptable. Reality was that I was in an abusive relationship and if I faced that, then my marriage would have had to end. And I could NOT let that happen

WOW, Weepy, change the 10 to 25 and it's my life.

And, in a tragic turn, I think he really loves me for the first time

HS


too long a sacrifice can make a stone of the heart..

Posts: 678 | Registered: Jan 2008
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 9:59 AM, August 20th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My H can be brutally honest (when it suits him)and he told flat out that he never loved me. At all.

((((LH))))) you know what? I think he is talking about himself. When I think back to some of the things my H said before, I realize he was talking about himself. He used to be vitriolic in his criticism of certain attributes in people - both me and other people. What I see now is that he didn't like what he saw in himself. Something about that person or me sparked a self-hatred that made him angry. I hope your Hs IC gets back soon 'cuz it sounds like he needs it desperately!


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 10:02 AM, August 20th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FSA and Shirley and Lost others whose husbands are working to become the men they should be.

I hated and despised my husband for a long time after d-day, and I frankly hated and despised myself also for having loved him so long and so stupidly.

After that intense hate wore off, there was just nothing there. No feelings at all.

I stayed through that out of inertia and fear, and because he was so determined and steadfast in his promises to be a better man and in his faith that we could have a wonderful marriage.

When I could finally get past my own pain and anger at myself and him, I could see how hard he was working and how much he had to overcome, and I gained a new respect and a new love for his successes and for his willingness to try. It took compassion and empathy to see that in him, and to be willing to value it, but compassionate is what I wanted to be and so that is what I eventually strived for. It took a while to get there, but I also had to make decisions about the kind of person I wanted to be, and compassionate was high on that list. If I couldnt offer that compassion to this man, who the hell could I offer it to?

And I think he deserved it. Lots of people wouldn't even bother trying to change themselves in the very organic way he did. They wouldn't go to church or IC or Retrouvaille, wouldn't read a book or have a discussion. They would just say that this is the way I am and I can't change. To work hard and devotedly to be a better person is an achievement in itself even if there are screwups along the way.

It is my own personal opinion however that most people will never undertake change of this magnitude unless they admit -- at least to themselves -- that they have done such terrible deeds that it indicates serious holes in their character and their psyche. If they can continue to say to themselves "I always loved my spouse, I just temporarily lost my way", that is a defense mechanism that works to prevent or prolong real, deep level change. And it pisses me off, because an affair is incompatible with love for your spouse. A WS may still have a certain fondness for their spouse while betraying them completely, but not love, at least not by my definition.

BT


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 11:12 AM, August 20th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It is my own personal opinion however that most people will never undertake change of this magnitude unless they admit -- at least to themselves -- that they have done such terrible deeds that it indicates serious holes in their character and their psyche.

I just read HTs post in general about "speaking your truth" immediately before coming here and reading this. BT, what I am starting to realize (and what you and the other wise ones have been trying to say all along) is that HE isn't the only one that needs to change. I am starting to realize how broken I was to allow myself to be treated with disrespect by the person who supposedly loved me. Was I so desperate to be married, to have "this wonderful man" be my spouse that I was willing to put up with that? How sad and how shallow that I would sacrifice ME to have the charade of what looked like a fabulous marriage to this fabulous guy. I know in my heart I let it happen to me. Not the affairs but the behavior. I put up with it to stay married. I need to speak that truth to myself. To understand WHY I did this to myself. To learn and protect myself from me so I don't repeat that mistake. That is the beginning of speaking my truth.

Here is the link:

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=250520


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 11:29 AM, August 20th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Weepy,

Making excuses for behavior that was totally unacceptable. Reality was that I was in an abusive relationship and if I faced that, then my marriage would have had to end. And I could NOT let that happen

Me too, Weepy.
But if I had loved and respected myself, I would not have endured this,would I? At the first instances of disrespect, I would have drawn a firm line. I cant use my youth against me. I have to accept the responsibility for my part in this.And this in no means takes away ANYTHING from him being the perpetrator.
KWIM?

***
(((MIG)))
I got you.
My H also uses "brutal honesty" to hurt me. However I dont think he was lying about this.


Shirley:

you know what? I think he is talking about himself

Yes, that is true, But I believe he is being honest about me too. He did not love me. When I look back at how he behaved towards me all through our courtship,the M, etc, it is painfully obvious that he didnt love me...not in any meaningful way.

Now? I think he does love me on some level...but he also hates me. I am his mirror. When he looks at me, he sees how he has fucked up. Sometimes when things are good with us, I am sure he feels the love that he is capable of at this time.
He has said that he loves me now more than he could ever love anyone..and he knows that that is not enough.

Right now, I dont think he is feeling much love towards me. I can feel his resentment and anger. He doesnt have to say anything. I feel it. I also know that much of this is also due to his great dislike/hatred towards himself.Its all fucked up at this time. And I have to hold onto myself tight.

***
BT, thanks for that post.
It helped remind me that I am not failing when things get hard or if I am finding it difficult to cope; that I am only human.


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 11:30 AM, August 20th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

need to speak that truth to myself. To understand WHY I did this to myself. To learn and protect myself from me so I don't repeat that mistake. That is the beginning of speaking my truth.

Yay Shirley!!!
Light bulb moment.

(((((((Shirley))))))


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 11:40 AM, August 20th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, Shirley. Whatever that piece of your own personal puzzle is, you need to find it and fill that hole. I have no doubt that you will.


Lost my girl, hang in there.

MIG, I sometimes think we should all have to undergo six months of counseling (IC before we get married) and six months of MC after a year of marriage. It would save so much heartache and so many wasted years.


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
brooke4
♀ Member
Member # 13581
Default  Posted: 11:56 AM, August 20th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Hi LTAers,

It's my antiversary today (the dates on my profile are off as at the time I wrote it I had reason to believe the OW was looking for me here and I was feeling obsessive about protecting my privacy) and I'm going to try to get up the nerve to tell my story for the first time. We're still on vacation, so time is limited and it may be in bits and pieces.

My H and I met freshman year of college and clicked instantly. We were inseparable for two years and then he got restless and we (he) decided we should take a break. I now know he had met someone else. We broke up for about six months and then ended up getting back together.

After we graduated he went straight on to a masters program and I took a job. About a year into this, he once again decided we should break up--and yes, once again he had met someone else but I didn't know it. We stayed apart for a bit over a year during which we both dated other people. I ended up in a serious relationship with someone else (he was a few years older) but got cold feet when he started to talk about marriage. I ended that relationship and somehow or other reconnected with my H and we got back together.

He had finished graduate school and was getting ready to take a job. I was getting ready to start a graduate program and we decided that if we were going to be together we needed to be serious and committed. I had found the break ups pretty devastating and wasn't willing to bounce around like that. Looking back there was no grand, romantic proposal, just a decision about six months into getting back together, that we should get married. At the time this seemed very adult and mature to me. After being engaged for about 18 months we got married.

H worked while I did my masters and then went back to school again and I took a job. After that we both worked until, 6 years into our marriage, we had our first child.


Me: BS, 40, Him: WS 41
Married: 15 years
3 children
D-Day: 10/2005

Posts: 1483 | Registered: Feb 2007
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 11:59 AM, August 20th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

BT,
Only 6 months of IC before M???

I am thinking couple compatibility surveys; intensive PI reports detailing work and private lives; a couple of psych questionaiires..
Ok, now for the WS...

Seriously though, BT, looking back do you think it would have helped?
At that time, I was so up myself,(come on, I was a new social worker..I knew EVERYTHING about dysfunctional people ), and H was so adept at hiding who he was (we had 3 MC at diff times before MC and not one of them went down the infidelity route).

I just dont know if any kind of C would have helped us at that time. HE didnt even consider what he had going on with OW#1 as cheating (cos they werent sleeping together).

Somehow, at the risk of sounding fatalistic, I think me going through is part of some divine plan, and it happened for a reason.

Am I talking rubbish?
Its times like this I so wish I could have a drink and get solidly drunk.

***
Shirley
That lightbulb was HUGE for me. It was so very painful but very necessary for me to take the next step.
(and as usual, you are ahead of the game! )

Well done you.


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 12:02 PM, August 20th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((brooke))))

It is very brave of you to do this. Everytime I tried to write down the exact sequence of event for THe LTA Book, I break down, and I just quit.

Keep on plugging, Brooke. We are holding you.

((((Brooke)))


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
brooke4
♀ Member
Member # 13581
Default  Posted: 12:07 PM, August 20th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


OK. Breaking this up so people's eyes aren't glazing over.

We had what I had always thought was a very happy, unusually close, marriage. I stopped work after the children were born but kept a hand in, doing a little freelance stuff here and there when I could, and H's career really started to take off. As I said, I was doing a little freelancing, but basically I was a SAHM. My H's career was very demanding, a lot of travel and long hours, and for us to have a normal home life it really required me to be the person on the homefront. I didn't resent this as I really loved being a SAHM, but I would say I was sort of conflicted about the path my work had taken.

We were busy, as are most people with three young children, but happy. The kids were great and healthy, my H's career was going fantastically, we had common interests and fun. He was a good father. Things weren't perfect, but I would have rated our lives as really good.

About four years ago, we moved. H was offered a really great opportunity and we took it. Deep down I wasn't thrilled about it, I loved where we lived had a fantastic support system, great friends, a tight-knit school community, family close by. But I think, looking back, that although we never talked about it openly, I sensed that my H needed a change.

We moved--and this was a major move--and for the first year things were tough.


Me: BS, 40, Him: WS 41
Married: 15 years
3 children
D-Day: 10/2005

Posts: 1483 | Registered: Feb 2007
brooke4
♀ Member
Member # 13581
Default  Posted: 12:19 PM, August 20th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


More.

I'd landed a really big work assignment right before we made the decision to move. My H was incredibly busy at work. Our youngest child got seriously, but not dangerously, ill. I was getting more behind on the work assignment by the day. But I basically handled the logistics of everything involved with the move. Everything. H just wasn't there.

We had a desperately hard first year. H hit the ground running, his life hardly changed. He was at the office all the time, traveling within 3 weeks, leaving me alone to get the children off to their new schools for the first time.

Everything was hard. TMI probably, but we were in a different country and it was a while before I was ready to drive (wrong side of the road ). The kids and I were sick a lot (new germ pool, the doctor blithely informed me, to be expected). Everything from where to buy the kids school shoes to finding doctors to getting around was a re-learning process. The kids were miserably homesick. I had no friends or support system. I was sick and depressed and, for the first time in my life, failing at work.

And H was just sort of gone, even when he was there. We started to argue a lot. He accused me of being miserable and refusing to see the positive of our lives. I felt overworked and exhausted, taken for granted, lonely, worried about the kids, and pissed off that he was so immersed in work--the blackberry was like a sixth finger.


Me: BS, 40, Him: WS 41
Married: 15 years
3 children
D-Day: 10/2005

Posts: 1483 | Registered: Feb 2007
mindisgone
♀ Member
Member # 17772
Default  Posted: 12:26 PM, August 20th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Somehow, at the risk of sounding fatalistic, I think me going through is part of some divine plan, and it happened for a reason.


I don't know about the pre-matital counselling BT, as LH said above is what i think, at least somedays. My H though has said more than once that as fucked up as he was i never stood a chance anyway . Like HS and most of you, i also have to fix myself, i nor none of us should have allowed ourselves to be treated so poorly.



too long a sacrifice can make a stone of the heart..

Posts: 678 | Registered: Jan 2008
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 12:31 PM, August 20th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Brooke - just jumped back on ....am here with hugs.

(((((brooke4)))))


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
brooke4
♀ Member
Member # 13581
Default  Posted: 12:38 PM, August 20th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


There were good times too. We had some nice family times, started settling in, making new friends, traveling, etc. But I was becoming more and more dissatisfied in the M, thinking more and more about career paths not taken, etc. I felt very un-heard in the marriage. I wondered peripherally a few times what would happen if I gave an ultimatum about things changing, but I don't think I every thought about it seriously.

Some people we were very close to were dealing with a particularly horrible (because of some other stuff they'd been through it was really awful) infidelity. I was very involved in providing support to them. Then another couple we were close to went through an A and broke up.

A year after we moved, we were at our vacation house. I felt like we were doing a ton of petty bickering, which was new to us, but I was conscious of being angry and resentful all the time. I felt like I was noticing that H had become very rigid with the kids. He'd never been a huge disciplinarian (having grown up with an incredibly strict father), but all of a sudden he was all over them. One day I heard him chewing out a subordinate on the phone for screwing something up. He sounded like an absolute entitled asshole--one of the guys he would have hated in the past. He had never, ever been like that, had always, despite being very successful been incredibly nice, particularly to anyone junior. I was feeling more and more like I didn't know him anymore.

One of the couples who had been going through the A was with us (we had a house full of guests, actually). One afternoon they and H took all the kids out to do something while I tried to catch up on work. I was thinking about how awful things were between our friends when I noticed that H had left his blackberry. I picked it up--literally thinking, thank god my H would never do anything like that--and for some reason that even now, I don't understand, dialed his office voice mail.

I knew the code to get into it, as I'd once checked it for him while he was driving, about two years previously, but I have a *very* good memory. He had one saved message and it was basically a phone sex message from his assistant at his office in our old city. I could not have been more shocked. I had absolutely no inkling. None. He had never had any missing time, never lost interest in sex, nothing.

I couldn't stop shaking. I had no car to get to where they had taken the kids, so I resigned myself to waiting for them to get back. I lasted about six seconds before calling a taxi. I would not be good as one of those BS's who sits on the evidence .

The ride must have taken like six minutes. The taxi driver would not shut up and I remember having a conversation with him while my mind was going in a thousand different directions. Was he in love with her? Was he planning to leave for her? I knew her and I couldn't imagine that, but then I clearly didn't know either of them. I had the taxi stop so I could vomit. That didn't shut the driver up, though. I couldn't seem to figure out whether this was all real or a dream. You hear people say that, but I mean it literally, I remember being confused by that. It was like the morning of 9/11. I felt the same way.


Me: BS, 40, Him: WS 41
Married: 15 years
3 children
D-Day: 10/2005

Posts: 1483 | Registered: Feb 2007
Lost Heart
♀ Member
Member # 11515
Default  Posted: 12:48 PM, August 20th (Wednesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((brooke))))

You are doing really well.


Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine

Posts: 2471 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: London
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