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User Topic: Spouses/Partners Of Sex Addicts
newday2day
♀ Member
Member # 21318
Default  Posted: 1:33 PM, November 10th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi everyone! I'm sorry I've not been posting. I've been reading but have been in such a funk the last few days.

Welcome to the newcomers. I'm sorry you're here but you're found a great group of people! Keep reading and posting... it does help.

Does anyone else find that the weekend goes "ok" or sometimes even good for some moments but the moment I get back to work on Monday I'm in more of a funk then on Friday? I cannot stand this pattern. I feel ok on the weekends and then feel so down, confused, angry, and just plain tired by Monday morning. Is it from the 180 all weekend? Ideas?


BS 31
WS 36
Married 9/1/07
D Day #1 1/21/08 - personals ad response
D Day #2 5/15/08 - created 2 personals ads
D Day #3, 4, & 5 10/08 - personals ad response, phone sex, calling escort services
Newest D-Day 1/1/2010 - Will it ever end? This tim

Posts: 95 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Michigan
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 2:02 PM, November 10th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

newday2day - maybe on the weekend you are more preoccupied with happier things? I have bad and good times all the time, it doesn't seem to make a difference on the day.

I just read your profile--seems a lot like my H. Does yours realize it is a problem for you and does he seem to care--because it seems like he is just acting like it is no big deal. Does he realize it is not normal to be going


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 14912 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 2:06 PM, November 10th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sorry, not sure what happened, I wasn't finished with the last post. Does he realize it is not normal to be going to all these sites calling escorts and such? (My guess is that he does since he tries to hide them).

I'm sorry you are going thru this. I can understand your pain and especially feeling alone but you are not. I have to learn to come to this site more when I am feeling so alone because it is an awful feeling in your gut!

I also understand when kids are involved. If I did not have a child who thought the sun revolved around him, I doubt I would not be working on it so hard with mine either, because sexual addiction is a really hard thing to deal with and I am not sure I am strong enough. But my little girl had an abusive dad and even though this one has an addiction--he has been a very good father to her.

Leaves us in a mess, huh!


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 14912 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
newday2day
♀ Member
Member # 21318
Default  Posted: 2:31 PM, November 10th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The "kid weekends" are typically the best. I get lost in the kids and laughing with them. I truly have the best times during the time they're with us.

I suppose "alone" is the exact way I feel. I do read often but haven't been posting as must as I probably should. I just feel like everyone will get tired of my stupid thoughts. I guess that's ingrained in me from WH.

So here's a new one. First I installed a keylogger program this weekend that takes screen shots of what is going on, on my PC at home.

Anyway, I took my break at work and came back to my PC to notice that my WH was "online" on yahoo instant messenger. First he's NEVER visible. Second, he's at work.

So I sent him a message "where are you". He didn't answer so I called him. He "acted" like he had no idea. He said maybe I did it on my phone inadvertantly. WHATEVER! He asked me to log in to messenger so that he would log out. So I did. I have him logged in now so that I can see if he gets any messages (at this will happen for about 20 minutes until he gets home). It will be interesting to see.

Also, I will be able to check his phone tonight to see if he's been logging in. I think he's dumb enough to leave it on there. We'll see.

Either way I feel completely uncomfortable with this new "development". Maybe I'm just over thinking things but wouldn't you think it's odd??


BS 31
WS 36
Married 9/1/07
D Day #1 1/21/08 - personals ad response
D Day #2 5/15/08 - created 2 personals ads
D Day #3, 4, & 5 10/08 - personals ad response, phone sex, calling escort services
Newest D-Day 1/1/2010 - Will it ever end? This tim

Posts: 95 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Michigan
HoBeGone
♀ New Member
Member # 21567
Default  Posted: 2:41 PM, November 10th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


So here's a new one. First I installed a keylogger program this weekend that takes screen shots of what is going on, on my PC at home.

Anyway, I took my break at work and came back to my PC to notice that my WH was "online" on yahoo instant messenger. First he's NEVER visible. Second, he's at work.

So I sent him a message "where are you". He didn't answer so I called him. He "acted" like he had no idea. He said maybe I did it on my phone inadvertantly. WHATEVER! He asked me to log in to messenger so that he would log out. So I did. I have him logged in now so that I can see if he gets any messages (at this will happen for about 20 minutes until he gets home). It will be interesting to see.

Also, I will be able to check his phone tonight to see if he's been logging in. I think he's dumb enough to leave it on there. We'll see.

Either way I feel completely uncomfortable with this new "development". Maybe I'm just over thinking things but wouldn't you think it's odd??

I hope it's ok to "single you out" since this part of your post REALLY jumped out at me.

THIS is exactly what *I* don't want. I don't want to always feel like I need to check up on him. I don't always want to feel like as soon as I "catch" him doing something, he's going to go deeper underground. I don't always want to feel like I have NO CONTROL over MY OWN LIFE.

I swear - if it wasn't for my son (who also thinks his dad is the greatest thing EVER) .. I would have let him stay out back in August. It was at the "insistence" of the counselor that I let him back in (on the air mattress out in the living room, of course) but back into the house.

I hate this feeling of isolation. I laugh every time I go to the Psych (since this all happened) because he has me diagnosed with an "adjustment disorder" and I tell him EVERY time .. the ONLY thing I'm having trouble adjusting to is... my HUSBAND .. FUCKING other people. Other than that, I'm pretty well adjusted... Then he writes out my RX for ADs and sends me on my way.

I swear it's only been 3 months and yet it feels like a LIFETIME.

[This message edited by HoBeGone at 2:41 PM, November 10th (Monday)]


Me - 35F - BS - Smart, Beautiful, Faithful
Him - 29M - WS - Asshole, Diagnosed Sex Addict
Son - 5
Together 7.5 years, Married 5.5 years



Posts: 31 | Registered: Nov 2008
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 2:43 PM, November 10th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know, in a normal situation I would never give that a second thought, but in your and my situation--that would have me concerned because of past history. Just wait and see what happens, at least you should get some answers soon if he has a compulsion. Good luck and let me know!


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 14912 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
newday2day
♀ Member
Member # 21318
Default  Posted: 2:57 PM, November 10th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hope it's ok to "single you out" since this part of your post REALLY jumped out at me.

THIS is exactly what *I* don't want. I don't want to always feel like I need to check up on him. I don't always want to feel like as soon as I "catch" him doing something, he's going to go deeper underground. I don't always want to feel like I have NO CONTROL over MY OWN LIFE.

I hate this feeling of isolation. I laugh every time I go to the Psych (since this all happened) because he has me diagnosed with an "adjustment disorder" and I tell him EVERY time .. the ONLY thing I'm having trouble adjusting to is... my HUSBAND .. FUCKING other people. Other than that, I'm pretty well adjusted... Then he writes out my RX for ADs and sends me on my way.

That's funny that's what my IC says I have "adjustment disorder" WTF is that?? I was fine with life before my WH decided to be curious, bored, missing attention, any one of his NUMBEROUS excuses.

No worries in singling me out. I hate that every move he makes I question. Shoot I question him if he says he couldn't answer the phone because he was in the bathroom. It's truly a miserable way to live and I hate MYSELF every day for living like this.

I'm also VERY mad at myself right now for having called him. I have to learn to control these thoughts and not call and just watch. If I had watched I could have seen if it was a pattern. Now he will be TREMENDOUSLY careful.

I truly believe that I am also pushing my WH further under ground.


BS 31
WS 36
Married 9/1/07
D Day #1 1/21/08 - personals ad response
D Day #2 5/15/08 - created 2 personals ads
D Day #3, 4, & 5 10/08 - personals ad response, phone sex, calling escort services
Newest D-Day 1/1/2010 - Will it ever end? This tim

Posts: 95 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Michigan
HoBeGone
♀ New Member
Member # 21567
Default  Posted: 3:07 PM, November 10th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's funny that's what my IC says I have "adjustment disorder" WTF is that?? I was fine with life before my WH decided to be curious, bored, missing attention, any one of his NUMBEROUS excuses.

No worries in singling me out. I hate that every move he makes I question. Shoot I question him if he says he couldn't answer the phone because he was in the bathroom. It's truly a miserable way to live and I hate MYSELF every day for living like this.

I'm also VERY mad at myself right now for having called him. I have to learn to control these thoughts and not call and just watch. If I had watched I could have seen if it was a pattern. Now he will be TREMENDOUSLY careful.

I truly believe that I am also pushing my WH further under ground.

Yep. I know EXACTLY how you feel. I wish I had just sat and waited to watch him dig himself a little deeper .. but it's like my emotions get the best of me and I'm like ... after EVERYTHING this mother fucker has put me thru .. and after he saw what I was (and am) capable of (like when I packed up all his stuff into white garbage bags, wrote on them in the biggest, blackest, boldest letters "I cheated on my wife" and threw them outside) Not to mention what I did to his OW .. is he SERIOUSLY fucking with me again?

Seriously? No really. Seriously?

"I don't know how it got there"
or yours with the "I accidentally logged myself in" ... PLEASE.

If I was stronger emotionally right now, I'd have thrown him out on his ass... I'm just not at that point yet - and when I am, there will be no looking back. No more "I'm sorry" no more "it'll never happen again" .. no more.

AND for once *I* will be sure that it will never happen again .... at least not ... TO ME.

I want so badly to get to that place. To the place where he is either TRULLY committed or I am truly confident enough to make the move.

[This message edited by HoBeGone at 3:08 PM, November 10th (Monday)]


Me - 35F - BS - Smart, Beautiful, Faithful
Him - 29M - WS - Asshole, Diagnosed Sex Addict
Son - 5
Together 7.5 years, Married 5.5 years



Posts: 31 | Registered: Nov 2008
newday2day
♀ Member
Member # 21318
Default  Posted: 3:11 PM, November 10th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

what I was (and am) capable of (like when I packed up all his stuff into white garbage bags, wrote on them in the biggest, blackest, boldest letters "I cheated on my wife" and threw them outside)

That's hysterical. I wish I had the balls! I get a affraid of my WH when he gets angry so I would be deathly affraid he would be furious. Shoot I'm affraid to install a VAR in our bedroom and livingroom in case he finds it. Sometimes I'm just not sure what his anger is capable of producing.

Maybe that's why I stay... fear??


BS 31
WS 36
Married 9/1/07
D Day #1 1/21/08 - personals ad response
D Day #2 5/15/08 - created 2 personals ads
D Day #3, 4, & 5 10/08 - personals ad response, phone sex, calling escort services
Newest D-Day 1/1/2010 - Will it ever end? This tim

Posts: 95 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Michigan
HoBeGone
♀ New Member
Member # 21567
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, November 10th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


That's hysterical. I wish I had the balls!

Well, I told him to come get his shit - and he refused .. he wanted to "work it out" and at that point I truly thought I was done (this was on my original DDay) ..

And since he's 'back' - I don't want to do the whole "throw him out" ... "take him back" .. lather, rinse, repeat thing - because I feel it will lose it's 'punch'


I get a affraid of my WH when he gets angry so I would be deathly affraid he would be furious. Shoot I'm affraid to install a VAR in our bedroom and livingroom in case he finds it. Sometimes I'm just not sure what his anger is capable of producing.

Maybe that's why I stay... fear??

Honestly ? I think that's why we ALL stay.

Fear of different things, but it's all fear.

I'm afraid of being without him. I've been doing a LOT of introspection in the past 3 months .. and I've realized that I get ALL of my validation from him.

Even after I found out and he "pursued" me .. I *LOVED* it. I loved the fact that he was "choosing" me over them. It felt like I "won" ... Like I was the 'better' person and he truly couldn't be "without me" (I know, I know .. I'm CLASSIC co-dep) - that's why seeing him text one of the OW about how he loved her and missed her ... cuts me to the core.

Even NOW (after finding the message to the OW) .. I secretly "light up" when he texts me and I get to "ignore" him. It's truly sick.


[This message edited by HoBeGone at 3:18 PM, November 10th (Monday)]


Me - 35F - BS - Smart, Beautiful, Faithful
Him - 29M - WS - Asshole, Diagnosed Sex Addict
Son - 5
Together 7.5 years, Married 5.5 years



Posts: 31 | Registered: Nov 2008
lovedontlivehere
♀ Member
Member # 20055
Default  Posted: 3:29 PM, November 10th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So much activity!!!

At the moment I'm just watching his activity. I caught him on Yahoo looking up personals, and I didn't say anything to him. Although I *might have* said something to Yahoo! staff. *evil laugh* I noticed that his ad is unsearchable, but I think someone he has viewed and is subscribed coul pull it up.

I've also wandering what he's doing on Messenger. One day he was out of town. I went to his PC (I swear I don't always get on to "snoop" lol), and I noticed his messenger was pulled up. A female or two had IM'ed him. He was on invisible. He says he's not on often, but now I wonder. I'm not necessarily against him chatting with other women in a friendly manner, but his behavior in the past makes me suspicious.

For now I'm just watching him. I had suspected for awhile he had been looking up profiles though.

I don't know how it got there-my favorite lie. I found a particular porn site on his PC, and he swore up and down
that he had NO IDEA how that got on his computer. It gets better-the url actually implied he was a MEMBER. Sometimes I think he thinks I'm stupid.

For us, it's not about weekends, it's about times of the month. We use FAB contraception. He treats me like a leper during certain times of the month. I don't recall being treated like that last year. I know for a fact he does his porn/hookers at these times. We can do other things than sex that are intimate, but he just doesn't want to touch me like that certain times of the month. It's like I'm diseased. Or maybe that's the issue-he not that into intimacy.


Partner still wanking off into fantasy land.
*update* No longer together, but he was STABBED and now wants R. Whatever.

Posts: 1256 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Deep South
1Forward1Back
♀ Member
Member # 11057
Default  Posted: 6:28 PM, November 10th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel ok on the weekends and then feel so down, confused, angry, and just plain tired by Monday morning. Is it from the 180 all weekend? Ideas?

I am not doing the 180 so I can't comment from personal experience, but I can imagine it would make me pretty tired. Doing the 180 with him in the house would absolutely throw me. I would have to move out, to be honest.

For me, I am grumpy by the end of the weekend and am glad to be going back to work. It would be better if a organization-fairy would have my laundry all done, ironed and organized for the week; that and the lunches too, but I do love my work.

This weekend was hard because I was and still am so upset with our IC/MC for dumping my H. The more I think of it, the more disgusted I am with him. He was totally unprofessional in his actions. At some point, I need to tell him this.

And we were doing so well with him in so many ways. How do you justify doing that?


Me: 60 Yrs. (BS)
Him: 60 Yrs.(FWH- life long sex addict)
-2 ONSs followed by an A-2005/06
-cheated while we were engaged
-seems to stray every 30 years or so
D-Day-June 10, 2006
Working on own recovery. His is his!
Married: 37 yrs. Grown ch

Posts: 966 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Canada
WantingtheTruth
♀ Member
Member # 20889
Default  Posted: 7:41 PM, November 10th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am feeling very sad today for some reason. Reading all of the posts from those of you trying to work it out with your spouses and the hurtful things you are forced to continue to experience makes me feel like I should be cheering instead of crying since my husband left me and I had no choices in the matter.

I read about each of you not feeling like you have any control over your life. I am not in reconciliation, my husband has told me nothing about his betrayals, but I am also most troubled by the lack of control that I have in what has occurred and in moving on. The way the divorce process works, I am bound to at least a year before a jury trial. My husband will push it that far to get a 50/50 split. We live in a "fair and equitable state" and infidelity is only cause for a divorce. I struggle with a 50/50 settlement since this does not represent financially what I have brought to the table. he sold his business and retired several years back. I have continued to work which has involved a lot of travel for me. He has been traveling for leisure, serving on 3different board of directors which gave him lots of reasons to be out of town and he has been spending "our money" on his trips, women, gifts, dinners, escorts, etc. Somehow that just does not seem fair.

He has moved on and I am still trying to find out the truth about my life. I know enough truths but need to know how far back my life was a lie.

Why does this still hurt me so and when do I get angry? My therapist asked me a question last week that made some sense:

"Would I really want to have been in a relationship for 20 years that I was committed to for life that did not hurt so badly when it ended?"


The truth is easy to remember.
BW, 53, Divorcing WH
WH, 49, No truths, in denial
Married 14 years, together 20 years. Who is this man?

Posts: 91 | Registered: Sep 2008 | From: Georgia
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 7:48 PM, November 10th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1Forward1Back - I was under the impression that it is the clients decision when to end the counseling-and if you are still feeling you need it I would think that he would be willing to work with you a little longer. I would appreciate the honesty that he feels he can't go any further with you--but you are apparently still needing something and it should be his job to recommend someone else or do the work necessary to help you get what you need.


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 14912 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
1Forward1Back
♀ Member
Member # 11057
Default  Posted: 8:16 PM, November 10th (Monday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1Forward1Back - I was under the impression that it is the clients decision when to end the counseling-and if you are still feeling you need it I would think that he would be willing to work with you a little longer. I would appreciate the honesty that he feels he can't go any further with you--but you are apparently still needing something and it should be his job to recommend someone else or do the work necessary to help you get what you need.

Yeah, you'd think, huh!

But because FWH cannot hate Christianity and ALL things conservative, politically speaking, this IC thinks he needs to go elsewhere. No suggestions other than a particular church group that deals with ALL male addictions.

If it had been my H that had started the religious and political discussion, I could give this IC a break. But it wasn't. And I believe my H because the IC has done this to me before. I have just been able to tell him to shut the heck up and get to the topic at hand. FWH is a much more gentle in his manner than I am.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet, but I do know this IC/MC will hear from me about this at some point. He at least needs to hear that he is less than professional.


Me: 60 Yrs. (BS)
Him: 60 Yrs.(FWH- life long sex addict)
-2 ONSs followed by an A-2005/06
-cheated while we were engaged
-seems to stray every 30 years or so
D-Day-June 10, 2006
Working on own recovery. His is his!
Married: 37 yrs. Grown ch

Posts: 966 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: Canada
newday2day
♀ Member
Member # 21318
Default  Posted: 7:22 AM, November 11th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((WantingTheTruth)))

I'm so sorry you're sad. I cannot seem to get to the sad side of things and am just frickin' angry all the time. I really, truly want to strangle him.

However, when my first marriage ended for infidelity (see the pattern here ) I was terribly sad. I couldn't understand. Now mind you I was with my ex-husband since I was 17 and I was 25 at the time but that was basically all of my life and I was devastated. I couldn't understand. I wanted to understand. I stood by him, took care of him, financially support him (shoot I do these things with my WH... but anyway) and he screwed around on me. And wouldn't even tell me. We were in marriage counseling for nearly 6 months and it never came out. Deep down I knew something was WAY off and asked him numerous times but he never admitted it until someone "anonymously" called me one day and told me. That was it for me. He had already moved out for "space". I was so hurt I literally screamed and cried. I couldn't move.

I honestly wish I could get to the sadness so that I could move this process on. I hate being stuck in one emotion.

I'm sorry that you live in such an unfair state for divorce. I'm lucky to live in MI where there is no fault and w/o children it only takes 60 days (if it's worked out among the parties). I just cannot get strong enough to file. But I know w/o a doubt that I will get what I came in to the marriage with and what I provided. I've been the bread winner for my family since the start.

Sorry I couldn't be helpful with any words of encouragement. Hang in there.

[This message edited by newday2day at 7:24 AM, November 11th (Tuesday)]


BS 31
WS 36
Married 9/1/07
D Day #1 1/21/08 - personals ad response
D Day #2 5/15/08 - created 2 personals ads
D Day #3, 4, & 5 10/08 - personals ad response, phone sex, calling escort services
Newest D-Day 1/1/2010 - Will it ever end? This tim

Posts: 95 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Michigan
newday2day
♀ Member
Member # 21318
Default  Posted: 10:39 AM, November 11th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Alright so my STD test came back normal, as I stated last week but my pap came back "abnormal". Could this mean HPV??

My doctor's office is supposed to call me back. I'm quite scared right now. Tips? Ideas? Thoughts on what it could be?


BS 31
WS 36
Married 9/1/07
D Day #1 1/21/08 - personals ad response
D Day #2 5/15/08 - created 2 personals ads
D Day #3, 4, & 5 10/08 - personals ad response, phone sex, calling escort services
Newest D-Day 1/1/2010 - Will it ever end? This tim

Posts: 95 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Michigan
Newtwood
♀ Member
Member # 21154
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, November 11th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi to all the newcomers; so sorry you have to be here!

newday-I would ask the doc a million questions. Sometimes an abnormal pap turns out to be nothing-sometimes they repeat it and it's fine the next time-happened to me and my Mom. Just let your doc know your concerns.


Faithful Wife of 24+ yrs: Me
WS: Him
OW(s): AFF Skanks/GRANDMOTHERS!!!

Status: Struggling Everday to
Survive

what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another-Anatole France


Posts: 2181 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: North Carolina
HoBeGone
♀ New Member
Member # 21567
DOH!  Posted: 12:29 PM, November 11th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know I've just been "dumping" here and not really "giving" anything back .. but I'm just so overwhelmed ... and it helps to just "get it out" in hopes that others can relate.

I've been doing the 180 since I found out about the contact with OW on Nov 7 (the contact was actually in Oct)

We were supposed to go to counseling tomorrow (our regular appointment) and I had spoken to the counselor so he knew what to "expect" -

NOW my H has texted me that he is going to work over time tomorrow morning and can't make his appointment .. but he rescheduled for Thursday. *we see the counselor separately and jointly* and that I can keep my appointment for tomorrow if I want.

So I texted him back that he NEEDS to see the counselor MORE than he needs the OT (overtime).

He replied that he needs the money.

I replied "how sad for you" -

He replied that he knows he needs to see the counselor -and that THAT's why he rescheduled.

I texted him back that I would be keeping my appointment tomorrow AND joining him on Thursday... He hasn't replied.

I have a feeling that he's trying to avoid our "joint" meeting or whatever - and I *REFUSE* to allow him to avoid ANYTHING.

I had said to myself that I would deal with him (staying or going) on Wednesday and now he's "robbing" me of that opportunity.

I'm leaning towards just letting him go. I really don't want to live like this :(

If he would JUST FUCKING ADMIT IT .. maybe we could 'move past' it - I hate the fact that he's even DOING it - but to deny it and play me with the "I don't know how it got there" .. c'mon.

Does he not realize how smart, beautiful, talented and downright amazing I am ?

Or is it the fact that he DOES realize it and is intimidated by it.


[This message edited by HoBeGone at 12:38 PM, November 11th (Tuesday)]


Me - 35F - BS - Smart, Beautiful, Faithful
Him - 29M - WS - Asshole, Diagnosed Sex Addict
Son - 5
Together 7.5 years, Married 5.5 years



Posts: 31 | Registered: Nov 2008
newday2day
♀ Member
Member # 21318
Default  Posted: 4:07 PM, November 11th (Tuesday), 2008View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think my WH is really trying. I was off about the Yahoo Messenger thing yesterday. He could not have logged in because he had not yet accepted the terms and conditions (I checked while he was in the shower). So something was off yesterday and he was home with me when it was on again last night.

Also yesterday and today he has come directly home and worked on the house. He has not logged online. It used to be that as soon as he got home he would log on and spend his time online until about 5 minutes before I walked in the door.

Today he also sent me a text message simply saying "i love you". It's nice to see him finally trying. We'll see if it lasts. It still doesn't feel like he has a lot of remorse but maybe a little more these days.

I hope everyone is hanging in there. I've been trying to really focus at work today and did an ok job of it. Maybe tomorrow will be even better with my focus. I hope so because I was out control "surfing" the web and SI at work.


BS 31
WS 36
Married 9/1/07
D Day #1 1/21/08 - personals ad response
D Day #2 5/15/08 - created 2 personals ads
D Day #3, 4, & 5 10/08 - personals ad response, phone sex, calling escort services
Newest D-Day 1/1/2010 - Will it ever end? This tim

Posts: 95 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Michigan
Topic Posts: 1000
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