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Fun & Games     Print Topic    
User Topic: SI quote thread- Vol 12
afraidshesgone
♀ Member
Member # 28625
Default  Posted: 1:01 PM, October 13th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

lorilooks reply to "what don't you miss" thread in D/S:

Having to do a friggin cartwheel and throw confetti everytime he did load of laundry. (load = put clothes in washer only)


Me, BW, old enough
D-Day dates.. tired of 'em Let's just say it happened, I'm over it and have moved on.....very happy

Despite my screen name, I am very much a woman and hell yeah I wish I could change that name to gladshesgone


Posts: 1765 | Registered: May 2010 | From: The Land of Guilder
punky
♀ Member
Member # 12233
Default  Posted: 6:52 PM, October 15th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wish there were "like" buttons on these...

My favorite "He's the douche, she's the bag..."

OMG...


Be a lion, not a mowess...
The Cowardly Lion

Posts: 11295 | Registered: Oct 2006 | From: A whole 'nother country
SourCherryDrops
♂ Member
Member # 25883
Default  Posted: 3:18 AM, October 20th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wish she felt as obligated to have sex with me as she did the OM.

a sidenote from atsenaotie in a thread about the effects of AD's on libido and sexdrive.


Me BS 37, Her STBX 34, 1*ONS, 1*EA 1*PA/EA, 2*PA
Heading for D after 9 mths of R

Posts: 1468 | Registered: Oct 2009 | From: Europe
booger bear
♀ Member
Member # 26584
Content  Posted: 12:38 AM, October 22nd (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

this is an amazing post by canigetoverthis ... from the D/S forum ... amazing strength from this woman ...

I've been divorced for a little over a year, after a long separation following my XH's last affair. (His 8th). I remember so well all the times I was a puddle on the floor, unable to move from the fetal position, scared out of my mind, a SAHM to 4 kids who hadn't been in the workforce in a very long time. Hindsight being what it is, healing and moving forward giving me clarity, and realizing I survived what I thought I never could, I have some insight I'd like to share. I hope it helps any of you that are where I was.
Over the 23 years he cheated, lied, gaslighted, got violent when confronted with his F*ups, etc., the main question I asked myself was 'WHY?' As I have lurked here for well over a year, (might even be 2, I can't remember - I was too embarrassed to post), I have read over and over the question of why. It seems that final closure can't come until we understand the why of it.

What I finally realized was there could be a myriad of 'reasons' that the WS may give, none of which have a whit to do with the BS, the state of the marriage, the economy, or the price of wheat in China. When you boil it down, the answer to the question of why is BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO. Think about that. They wouldn't have done it if they hadn't have wanted to. All that is involved in carrying on an affair, conscious choices, conscious lies, consciously betraying their spouses and loved ones ALL boils down to BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO. Once I realized that and let it really sink in, I didn't need any other answers. Any other answers are smoke and mirrors, excuses, etc. They WANTED to do it, they believed they were so special that they wouldn't get caught, and rationalized to themselves all the 'reasons why' they should be able to do what THEY WANTED TO DO.

I also learned how to be an excellent investigator. I caught my XWS in his last affair by hacking into his OW's own cell phone account, because he was calling her from payphones as he drove cross country for his trucking job. I was able to match the calls she received from truck stop payphones to when he was in that particular town. I spent hours and loads of energy investigating because I felt I just HAD to have undeniable proof in order to leave. The truth was, I didn't need that at all. All I needed to know was right in front of my face. He wasn't treating me with respect, dignity, or even an ounce of compassion. I was worth so much more than his treatment of me. The investigating drove me crazy - those heart racing, can't see, can't breathe moments when you discover something else. He was still going to do what he wanted to do regardless of what I found out or not. He would either want to be a good husband and human being and reconcile our marriage and family or he wouldn't. I didn't need the undeniable proof of his cheating to know that he was a piss poor husband and it didn't matter who he 'used' to be, it was who he was choosing to be NOW that mattered to my life right then. Once I put more energy into owning and celebrating my own worth, instead of fighting for somebody who didn't deserve it, who didn't deserve me, only then was I able to realize that I didn't need to prove anything other than what he had already willingly shown me.

So, I was married to an ass who cheated because he WANTED to, who lied because he WANTED to, who did all the rat bastard things he did all because he wanted to, and I realized that he didn't deserve me. He didn't get to have me. He didn't get to suck up anymore of my precious energy. I stepped off the crazy train and said no more.

Now, I'd decided that I deserved so much better than he could give me with who he was choosing to be, but had no idea what to do regarding supporting my kids. It took me 18 months to get my ducks in a row, while he knew nothing of it. Whenever I did grocery shopping, I bought 2 of many of the items, and took $20 cash back off my debit card. I joined sites like pinching your pennies and used coupons and pocketed the savings. Anything extra, birthday gift money, etc., I pocketed. I paid utilities ahead, starting with $10 a month and moving up from there as I could. Since the man didn't open a bill, it was easy. I went back to school to do something that I love, under the guise that 'he worked too hard and I wanted to bring in some money so HE could enjoy himself. Luckily, the man isn't Einstein. I got into IC, under the guise of learning how to make things 'easier' for him, when in reality it was to heal, and learn the strength to take up for myself and my children. Of course, he paid for that. Two months after I graduated from my school program, I had him served when he wasn't expecting it.

I'm not saying this to toot my own horn, but rather to point out that when we empower ourselves, no matter our situation, we find our way out. It might take baby steps, but step by step you will get there. You become a good little actress, and do what you need to do for YOU. Did I feel guilty for the subterfuge? At times yes, but then I reminded myself that I was doing what I had to do to protect myself and my children and I kept moving forward.

You are worth so much, and your worth is NOT determined by what your WS, their family, or 'friends' that run from you think or say. It's inside of you and even if you can't find it, it hasn't left you. When you let that knowledge flood over you, you will find an inner strength that will amaze you. You become a warrior, but instead of fighting the losing battle of having a very damaged, broken, and selfish person validate you, you warrior through to validate yourself, to be there for yourself and your children. Unlike the anger that comes and goes and gives strength when it comes, this inner knowledge is different. It is steady because you KNOW you have value, you KNOW you didn't deserve what happened, but in spite of what has happened, you can always count on YOU. You have to be your own hero. Your WS isn't going to be or they would have by now. Trust yourself. Your self-esteem may be shaken or shattered, but YOU are still in there, waiting for you.

I can't think of a better person that deserves the beautiful YOU than YOU, can you?

I've lurked for so long that I feel as if I know each of you, even though you don't know me. I was just too embarrassed to post and to have to write it all down.. I mean.. 23 years of being cheated on with 8 affairs that I have proof of, who knows really how many there were. Thank you for the strength you gave me when you didn't even know I was here. I hope this post doesn't offend anybody. My intention is to give back what I received each time I needed help by you and received it.
Peace.

[This message edited by booger bear at 12:39 AM, October 22nd (Friday)]


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18812 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: OK - Hot as hell here !!!!!!
booger bear
♀ Member
Member # 26584
Content  Posted: 6:01 PM, October 22nd (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

ok this whole thread amazes me ... and the strength of this woman is awesome ...

here is the thread link ... please go read it ...

http://survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=378178


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18812 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: OK - Hot as hell here !!!!!!
booger bear
♀ Member
Member # 26584
Content  Posted: 9:16 PM, October 22nd (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, sounds like ******** could make an eclair outta a turd....and you were waiting with a napkin to wipe your mouth after chowin' down on that load of bullshit....

by augustseptember in a thread ... I will let mods put name in and thread if they want ...

but this line is spot on to me anyway ...

I can't help it ... they are all over the place tonight ...

"...Hmm.. how to word this and not have to ban mysel? What a pickle..."

said by a mod

[This message edited by booger bear at 11:47 PM, October 22nd (Friday)]


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18812 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: OK - Hot as hell here !!!!!!
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 9:04 PM, October 25th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I respect the mods here so much that if they were to ban me I wouldn’t even talk to myself…
Bigger in Off Topic in a thread about a banned member.


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 38057 | Registered: Sep 2007
booger bear
♀ Member
Member # 26584
Cool  Posted: 9:48 PM, October 26th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

wannbenormal said in a thread in general ...

Kick him in the dick and ask if that feels the same.


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18812 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: OK - Hot as hell here !!!!!!
booger bear
♀ Member
Member # 26584
Funny  Posted: 5:21 PM, October 27th (Wednesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

http://survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=378939

marzipan thread in D/S ...


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18812 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: OK - Hot as hell here !!!!!!
booger bear
♀ Member
Member # 26584
Funny  Posted: 10:11 PM, October 29th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been working out like a beast and going to the tanning bed. I changed my hairstyle. I went to the movies by myself on a Friday night. I went to Oktoberfest by myself two nights in a row. I usually don't pay a lot of attention to him.
So today I made cinnamon rolls...because I wanted them...and spousal unit made a comment about how sweet I was being, so domestic.

And I responded with, "Well, I figure if Bree VanDeCamp can land herself a 30 yr old stud with great hair it gives me something to shoot for."

For some strange reason he got mad. ROFLMAO

(He's 52 and bald)

said by Easy Does It ... in her thread in general ...


I am fiercely independent and I won’t apologize for it. I'd rather be single than settled.

Posts: 18812 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: OK - Hot as hell here !!!!!!
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 10:35 PM, October 30th (Saturday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been wasting time studying the "has she talked to him" trees in the "who gives a fuck, she sucked his dick" forest.

Geaux Tigers in General.

Too good not to be remembered!


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17535 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
Rise_Above
♀ Member
Member # 23674
Default  Posted: 9:51 AM, November 1st (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Stupidity knows no boundaries.

Meadhbh commenting on Freefallnochute's vent about parent's lack of protectiveness.


You can live the way you believe this is your opportunity to let your life be one that lights the way~F.Battistelli

*****
God's hand was an avocado branch


Posts: 14226 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: Chrys a lis
oldtimer97
♀ Member
Member # 2365
Default  Posted: 3:48 PM, November 4th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

JFO Sherman to Jeanne 11/02/10

The setting: Jeanne has nailed her WH & OW (classmate from 30 yrs ago), who have been cybering long distance on Facebook, etc., when she finds a text from OW on WH's hidden cell phone that said:

"1 more thing and your stalker girlfriend will leave you alone for the night. I want a sleepover for December so as we discussed I will go ahead and book a room if it's okay with you...sexy room! Love Peebs xoxo "

WH & OW conspire & OW contacts Jeanne by email twice to make "nice" & explain it all away as platonic. Over the course of the day, WH is continually calling & texting w/o any response from Jeanne.

The following is one of his last texts & then Sherman's response follows:

"Be real, you know how far they live from us, right?!"

I love the logic here, as if any woman more than a dick's length away is automatically unavailable.


“When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.”

― Maya Angelou


Posts: 3264 | Registered: Oct 2003 | From: Sunny Arizona
Dreamboat
♀ Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 1:41 AM, November 5th (Friday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love the logic here, as if any woman more than a dick's length away is automatically unavailable.

Hilarious!!!!


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17688 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
deena
♀ Member
Member # 27275
Default  Posted: 2:40 PM, November 7th (Sunday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

God only gave us enough blood to operate one head. If one is working, the other one isn't."

Quote from EasyDoesIt on stefanie thread "All men are unfaithful given the chance???" Nov 7 2010


Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's
better to leave them broken than to hurt
yourself putting it back together.


Posts: 3053 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Canada
aesir
♂ Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 10:01 AM, November 8th (Monday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Gosh I have this hammer that I'm holding,
and it keeps hitting me in the head.
Third hammer I've had that does that.
Can you help me figure out what's wrong with the hammer.

Inchoate quoting someone else, starting what is meant to be a serious thread in Wayward.

[This message edited by aesir at 11:09 AM, November 8th (Monday)]


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
Holly-Isis
♀ Member
Member # 13447
Default  Posted: 9:09 AM, November 9th (Tuesday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Or you could just have him show you on the doll where the bad patriarchy touched him.

LadyV in LuvingMe's thread on how her WH believes that to be a man, he has to cheat.


"Being in love" first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. *CS Lewis*

Posts: 11229 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: Just a fool in limbo
Rise_Above
♀ Member
Member # 23674
Default  Posted: 11:44 AM, November 11th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shallow people have shallow wounds.

aesir's answer to miadonna's question
And how do these celebrities move on so fast? A year later and everything is back to normal?


You can live the way you believe this is your opportunity to let your life be one that lights the way~F.Battistelli

*****
God's hand was an avocado branch


Posts: 14226 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: Chrys a lis
miadianna
♀ Member
Member # 10516
Default  Posted: 2:42 PM, November 11th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you Rise Above. I was thinking that quote deserved a place here.


Me: BS 53
Son: 27 years old
Daughter: 25 years old
D-day(s) 9/23/94 - 1/31/05
Divorced 4/10/08

Posts: 7482 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Illinois
willowiris
♀ Member
Member # 5372
Default  Posted: 3:56 PM, November 11th (Thursday), 2010View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The amazing Shellybeanz when I asked her if a guy really sent her a limp penis photo:

Yup....It laid there like roadkill ....kinda pathetic and motionless....I felt the desire to cover it up with a blanket, say a few words, and SWEAR I thought I heard Taps playing in the background there for a second....

OMG..I nearly spit out my drink on that one.


D-day 09/2004
Filed for divorce 9/2006

We accept the love we think we deserve. "The Perks of Being a Wallflower."


Posts: 12326 | Registered: Sep 2004 | From: Margaritaville
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