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User Topic: Long Term Affairs X I V
Lost Heart2
♀ Member
Member # 21793
Default  Posted: 10:24 AM, January 18th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you Shirley and BT. I am trying.

***
SoLost,
I agree with the others. Give him some time to compose himself. Send yourself the email but make sure you delete it from his sent box. I know this sounds so easy to say and your mind must be going every which direction...but try to slow it down, SoL. Just focus on the kids or work or a book or walking. At the same time, give yourself a short time to prepare yourself for either of his answers, knowing you dont have to make definite decisions about anything right now..makes sense? Just breathe and wait.

I hope with all my heart that he comes to through for you and himself.

Take the best of care, SoL.


LTA BS

Dday#1 02.06.06
Dday#2 28.11.06


Mind what you love. Mind how you are loved.


Posts: 471 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: London, UK
So Lost
♀ Member
Member # 16801
Default  Posted: 11:26 AM, January 18th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all. I don't think I have breathed yet. I have eaten nothing today. I went for a drive under the guise of having to get something for work.

He' down here now, so I can't prit it out. I will try if he doesn't delete it before work.


Me: BS
Wh: WS
Dday 10/28/07
LTA with coworker
Attempting Reconciliation
he is remorseful, I am willing, we'll see what happens

Posts: 671 | Registered: Oct 2007
Lost Heart2
♀ Member
Member # 21793
Default  Posted: 12:39 PM, January 18th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((SOLOST)))))))

Hang in there.


LTA BS

Dday#1 02.06.06
Dday#2 28.11.06


Mind what you love. Mind how you are loved.


Posts: 471 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: London, UK
So Lost
♀ Member
Member # 16801
Default  Posted: 1:20 PM, January 18th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It will tell you an incredible amount about who your H is now and what kind of husband he intends to be

Well, crap. So what if he doesn't tell me?
He left for work. Gave me a kiss, said I love you, acted as though nothing had happened. He never went back on email. I sent myself a copy and deleted that from his box.

He actually talked to me about another email he got last night. That would have been the perfect time. We were in our bedroom with no kids. But he didn't do it.

Part of me just knows that he won't tell me. Something is fishy with her knowing about the stethoscope. I also saw that he checked his voicemail late last night, but there were no calls either missed or received. That could have been nothing though b/c he often gets messages from me or family days after they were left.

I am just reeling. I have had two very large cups of tea. I needed something to wash the xanax down with. It is helping slightly but not really.

I work evenings tomorrow. I will either say something tomorrow night when I get home or the next morning. I don't know what I will say.

So how did she know about the stethoscope? I guess you're not going to tell me about the email? Anything I should know?

Why this shit all over again? It's been over a year.

I Can picture divorce. It is not the life I want. I don't even want a life right now.


Me: BS
Wh: WS
Dday 10/28/07
LTA with coworker
Attempting Reconciliation
he is remorseful, I am willing, we'll see what happens

Posts: 671 | Registered: Oct 2007
Whatnow28
♀ Member
Member # 19345
Default  Posted: 3:24 PM, January 18th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((SO LOST)))))

I just jumped on today and read what's been going on. I agree....give him some time. I can only imagine the anxiety you must have waiting & wondering. Hang in there. Keep talking to us....


ME: BW, 30 H: WH, 30 2 little boys

D-day 3/4/08 Whole "truth" from OW 3/12/08
Ow#1, 6 months PA
Ow#2, 2 years PA & EA

"It takes 3 seconds to say "I love you", 3 hours to explain it, & a lifetime to prove it".


Posts: 517 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: NE Coast
So Lost
♀ Member
Member # 16801
Default  Posted: 3:27 PM, January 18th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I really appreciate all the support.

My mind is racing.

I also see that it shows when you forward an email. Great. No idea how to get rid of that little info. He may not know what it means to have the arrow next to it though. He put the email in trash, I assume he thinks it's gone.

What else have I missed? It was not friendly, she almost sound angry that he has not paid attention to her or something. Like ok, now you can rest easy that I won't bother you anymore. Has she tried for his attention and he has said don't bother me??

I just need to know. Oh, I need a drink or something. Maybe when the kids go to sleep. I am thankful I work at night tomorrow so I can sleep in a bit. I can also be awake when he gets home tonight which will give him another chance to tell me.

I'm sorry I am rambling. I have NO ONE irl to talk to and that is such a lonely feeling.


Me: BS
Wh: WS
Dday 10/28/07
LTA with coworker
Attempting Reconciliation
he is remorseful, I am willing, we'll see what happens

Posts: 671 | Registered: Oct 2007
Whatnow28
♀ Member
Member # 19345
Default  Posted: 3:45 PM, January 18th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It was not friendly, she almost sound angry that he has not paid attention to her or something. Like ok, now you can rest easy that I won't bother you anymore. Has she tried for his attention and he has said don't bother me??


It does sound a bit like that....but my worry would be if/when he's going to tell you....or if there is something you're missing. I'm so sorry. It's impossible to know....and to trust anything...


ME: BW, 30 H: WH, 30 2 little boys

D-day 3/4/08 Whole "truth" from OW 3/12/08
Ow#1, 6 months PA
Ow#2, 2 years PA & EA

"It takes 3 seconds to say "I love you", 3 hours to explain it, & a lifetime to prove it".


Posts: 517 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: NE Coast
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 4:38 PM, January 18th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Be careful with the alcohol and xanax, SoLost. You really need your wits about you in this, and if you're anything like me, drinking tends to throw me off my intentions.


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
So Lost
♀ Member
Member # 16801
Default  Posted: 5:24 PM, January 18th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah, I think no alcohol tonight. I took half a xanax quite a long time ago (this morning) and don't plan to take anymore. I only have taken it three times since dday, I know I can do this on my own.

Here's the email copied and pasted...

Well, I guess now that the stethescope is broke I have no reason to bother you, congratulations, you can rest easy that you are totally free of me. Have a nice life.

I keep analyzing it. Did they share the damn stethoscope (which btw, she should know how to spell since she just graduated nursing school)?? Was she asking for it back and that was the last thing? Did they run in to each other and she asked for it back and he told her it broke and was rude, hence the tone of the email?

I hate this obsessing. I hate it. But I can't help it.I need to know, and I may never. How do I know if he is ever honest with me?

BT, you are right. This will be the test. I am terrified he will fail, and yet at this point I think that is what I am expecting.


Me: BS
Wh: WS
Dday 10/28/07
LTA with coworker
Attempting Reconciliation
he is remorseful, I am willing, we'll see what happens

Posts: 671 | Registered: Oct 2007
So Lost
♀ Member
Member # 16801
Default  Posted: 5:26 PM, January 18th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Also, seems weird he lost his stethoscope recently for a few weeks and then someone found it again on the floor. I would have never noticed it missing, so not sure why he would tell me it was lost if it wasn't. The whole thing is confusing.


Me: BS
Wh: WS
Dday 10/28/07
LTA with coworker
Attempting Reconciliation
he is remorseful, I am willing, we'll see what happens

Posts: 671 | Registered: Oct 2007
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 5:56 PM, January 18th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

{{{So Lost}}} I know how hard it is to wait for FWH to be transparent and 'reveal' what you have discovered. I don't have an answer as I haven't figured out how to get my FWH to tell me about emails since he gave me his password. He assumes that I read all his email even when I haven't. And if I mention one that I am not comfortable with he tells me that he doesn't even read them! My FWH gets a lot of 'off colour' messages from both men & women. I've asked why these people send them to him and he 'doesn't know'.

Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
So Lost
♀ Member
Member # 16801
Default  Posted: 7:38 PM, January 18th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Now I am completely confused. H called from work to say goodnight to kids. Tells me right away that he had a "restricted call" on his phone at 2:30 pm that he was in the store and didn't hear.

So he tells me about this but not the email???? Why?

A missed call will not show up on the phone bill. He could have erased it and never told me. I don't think he knows that though.

And he has heard it ring when restrict and doesn't answer and tells me.

I just don't know. I suspect he is going to say he opened it and then forgot about it. Whatever. How can anyone compartmentalize that well. You opened it, it was an email from your affair partner and you promised to tell your wife of any contact. You remember to tell me about the missed call.

Thoughts??


Me: BS
Wh: WS
Dday 10/28/07
LTA with coworker
Attempting Reconciliation
he is remorseful, I am willing, we'll see what happens

Posts: 671 | Registered: Oct 2007
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 7:25 AM, January 19th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SoL, I just want to come in quickly here before I dash off out. Going back to last week:
I need to be pulled out of this funk. To pull myself out. It has been for several months.

This doesn’t help. You are seeing everything from behind a negative grey veil. Do you think it’s possible that your H is too well aware of this and thinks that bringing up this email will only serve to distress you and set you back in your healing? Or is he actually not that aware that you are in a low state right now?
I Can picture divorce. It is not the life I want. I don't even want a life right now.

Don’t get too far ahead of yourself here, SoL.
He may view it as unnecessary to tell you if he doesn’t want to bring the affair up again, it was maybe a spiteful retort when her open invitation got rejected. That’s kind of how it comes across to me. His steth was busted, she lent him hers, or acquired one for him and all she got was a thanks. No more. How about just saying “is there a communication about a stethoscope you’d like to share with me?” and say it doesn’t matter about your reaction to it, you just have a “need to know”.

Btw, what's a "restricted call"?

LostH, I expect your H is well aware that there are plenty of people who would like to give up work. Have you asked him what it is about the job or the employers that make him feel this way? Does he feel undervalued in the workplace? A small cog in a wheel? If so, maybe it’s time to move on and find himself a new situation. Sometimes, just the action and experience of going out to interviews, putting his name down with headhunters, interacting and discussing his abilities will give him the boost he needs. I only say this b/c my H has interviewing down as a hobby!!! (Not really!) He’s going to meet with someone today to discuss job opportunities on their books and he is going for an interview tomorrow. He says it always helps to keep in with these people and there is never a down side to a friendly chat. He’s worked for this company since July, has no intention or desire to leave, but it’s all about opportunities. And it makes him feel good.

It’s a crap time of year and things are in the dumps for most companies. So, can you afford a little break sometime soon? Get away for a few days perhaps just the two of you? I think you need to have a talk about how you can both make things better for you and him. And look at what you do have and look at the person his is now and is working towards. That’s all on the positive side, isn’t it? I think age might be an issue. I know that FWH started his affair when he felt he had peaked in his career. Which wasn’t true, he was just stuck for too long and then along came “help me princess in the tower” MOW.

ETA, LostH, do you think he could feel undermined by you going out to work? Just a thought.

[This message edited by UKgirl at 7:27 AM, January 19th (Monday)]


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 8:06 AM, January 19th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have no reason to bother you

It sounds like she was looking for anything and any way to keep in touch with your H and that whatever the story is behind the stethoscope, that was her one means of doing so. Although I agree that he should have been completely open about whatever the story is behind this stethoscope, I can honestly say that from the tone of her email, he was in no way trying to keep any contact alive between them and possibly "broke" it himself in order to force an end to her "bothering" him.
As to why he didn't tell you of this yet, as so many of us here have experienced, our H's are conflict avoiders and mine for one absolutely hates any confrontation and avoids all and any references that might bring up a trigger. It's the worst thing they can do, not sharing an important thing like this because it just stirs up more doubt in their trustworthiness, but they can be so cowardly.
I do hope you can resolve this soon and finally have some peace. Take comfort in the fact that she now knows there is no place in his life for her anymore.
((((SL))))
LH - I am sorry that I haven't been around lately. I have actually gone "into my private cocoon" after my sister's near death episode. It was more than I was ready to handle. I am feeling stronger now, especially since she is stable. They are going to run a whole new series of tests (she has switched drs. and they want to do their own testing) and hopefully they will find a treatment that won't threaten her life like the previous one did.
Life can be so challenging. Just when I start to feel better about my M and think I may be over the worst of it, my sister comes so close to death I was certain I was going to lose her. It just left me with this fear of the unknown and a "what next" kind of insecurity. I always thought I was a lot tougher but since my H's LTA, I don't bounce back from life's challenges the way I used to.
I didn't mention this earlier but my DIL had an ultrasound and there was something that the drs. saw and were very concerned about. We spent an agonizing 2 weeks waiting for more tests and finally the results were that the baby is most probably healthy. My heart was breaking for them as they waited for the latest results. It was one of the reasons why I was so eager to come to London and be with them. (Of course it goes without saying that I was very excited to spend time with you and UKG. )
They have decided to come here instead (sorry but we'll have to wait until July now to meet IRL) and I am so anxious to spend time with them. Like I said, life is so challenging at times and when we are battling daily with this LTA crap, our ability to fight other battles is compromised.
Don't worry though, I am feeling stronger.
Now, how about you? Are you ready to share what you are feeling? Is it mostly your FOO issues that you are dealing with as you mentioned in your post or are there other issues you might want to share? I hope you'll reach out if you need to vent and you now you can always PM me. (((LH)))
BT - I'm happy to hear that your eye surgery went well. Looks like you must be doing better as you are posting more. We depend on your insight and good advice so you take care now and don't overdo the reading.
HS - I LOVE THE BOOK! Thank you for recommending Angle of Repose. I spent all of yesterday with my nose in it and after signing off I am going to finish it. I would love to hear your thoughts and what you felt was most significant to you.
Here's one passage that really struck me:
"We must be reconciled, for what we left behind us can never be ours again. We have lost our life . . . we must make a new life for ourselves here."
WOW - It brought tears to my eyes when I read this. How true is this for all of us???? It goes on to say,
"I fancied in all of them a lingering sentiment for the old home, a pathetic sense of being aliens in the new."
I can't speak for anyone else but I can tell you that this too really struck me because I know in order to fully heal I must let go of my idealized notions of what my life and M were like before I discovered my H's LTA and I must try to construct a new M and life for myself.
Again, thank you for recommending this book and do share your favorite passages and thoughts.
UKG - what can I say. That man is a complete and utter bastard. That he has not learned from his previous mistakes and that he continues to destroy lives is unbelievable. I can see how this would upset you especially since this is someone whom your H considers to be his friend. You know that is one of my continuing arguments with my H. The friends these men keep are definitely part of the problem. How can they hope to overcome their shortcomings if their peers are no better (and sometimes worse) than themselves? What standard are they using to judge their own behavior?
My H has a friend who just lately has been sending all kinds of inappropriate emails - naked women with their asses and breasts bouncing off the monitor. It is infuriating. I always check his email - part of our deal - and I told him that this is upsetting to me but he doesn't want to say anything to his friend. God forbid he loses face with the likes of him. so he told me to just delete them. So I did. Now he says I am acting like his mother and doesn't like that. WTF????
So now I don't open them and every time I see one coming in from this friend I get all pissy all over again. Men are freaking assholes. Grow the fuck up and stop acting like 15 year olds. This guy is in his 70's. Probably can't get it up anymore and now resorts to this for his pleasure. F'ing jackass!
Sorry UKG, didn't mean to go off in my own rant there but I just wanted to let you know that I agree that our H's and their friends can be complete asshats. Hugs to you to friend.


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
So Lost
♀ Member
Member # 16801
Default  Posted: 11:00 AM, January 19th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can't speak for anyone else but I can tell you that this too really struck me because I know in order to fully heal I must let go of my idealized notions of what my life and M were like before I discovered my H's LTA and I must try to construct a new M and life for myself.

That is so true and so heartbreaking at the same time. But a fact of life if we want to move forward.

Forgivenotforget, you sound good. Strong, knowing your battles and choosing them or not. I admire that.

I know you are all right in the sense that H has not done anything wrong per say with ow. He clearly did the opposite and she was not happy about it. But why not tell me?? To me, that is innately wrong. I was very clear on this subject.

I have to head to work now. When I get home I am going to chat for a couple minutes. If he doesn't say anything, then I am going to say...

"I know you don't want to be surprised or caught off guard. So when you get your story straight and want to tell me about the stethoscope, I'll be waiting."

and walk in to the other room. I want to give him a chance to think for a second without me watching the process. That was his excuse for lying before. He was caught off guard and went in to defensive mode.

I am just so hurt and angry about this that I am sick to my stomach. At some point I need to start eating again (I know, I know). Not that I can't stand to lose a bit, but this is not the way.


Me: BS
Wh: WS
Dday 10/28/07
LTA with coworker
Attempting Reconciliation
he is remorseful, I am willing, we'll see what happens

Posts: 671 | Registered: Oct 2007
BorrowTrouble
♀ Member
Member # 2435
Default  Posted: 1:56 PM, January 19th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SoLost,

I like your idea of giving him time to collect himself since he has asked for that (albeit indirectly) in the past. I might suggest being even more direct, because the way you have worded it sounds a bit like a challenge, and god knows these conflict avoiders do not respond well to challenges.

How about something completely factual. "I know you have had contact with OW and I would like to discuss it with you when you are ready."

That gives him time, keeps the whole arena open, and allows him to chose the time for the discussion. If you can say it completely calmly, even better.

BT


D-day 7/29/04.

Posts: 5711 | Registered: Oct 2003
Lost Heart2
♀ Member
Member # 21793
Default  Posted: 2:44 PM, January 19th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((SoLost)))))

Thinking of you...

I love BT's suggestion of being calm and non-confrontational,which might help with his anxiety levels. I find my H more open when I am more detached and hence calmer. I get like that when I remove myself from the now, and pretend I am talking to a client who doesnt have much inpact on my life. That works for me...sometimes..lol.

***
Fnf, I am such a worrywart. I am glad you are doing better, but you know you dont have to come here only when you are strong..give us a chance too to prop you up now and then.

I am disappointed we wont meet up but I am glad that your family is coming over...gives you a chance to spoil them in your own home.

***
Ukg,

LostH, do you think he could feel undermined by you going out to work? Just a thought

I dont think he feels undermined but I do get a feeling sometimes he feels a little put off that I am doing ok, KWIM?

But for the most part, I think he is disappointed in himself and his accomplishments (or lack thereof) and its proving a bitter pill to swallow. IC suggested that he may be going through a midlife crisis (heaven forbid!).

How are you feeling, UKg?

***
I told IC today that I dont really have anything to complain about - H is being a bit of a jerk but its ok; kids are fine, work is fine, heck even the extended family is ok...but I am feeling this underlying sadness and grief.
She reckons its because I have been off the rollercoaster for awhile and am allowing myself to feel the greater and older losses in my life.

We spoke about my recognising some of my PA behaviour in the M and I asked her whether I should be talking to H about this, cos the guilt is starting to seep through. However she advised against, saying that this would just knowingly be giving him a stick to beat me up with up, and that in itself would be a PA action.
So we are going to be dealing with these in IC, resolve them, allow myself to forgive myself for them first, before I bring them up with H.

Now whilst I can see the logic of this and how it is in my best interests, I am also feeling a bit hypocritical...how would I feel if H did the same? Mmmmm....not v happy at all!

My question to the Tribe, more specifically the older ones who are not dealing with the everyday chaos of the LTAs, is this:
Now I know not all of us have been perfect angels during the M...how are you coming to terms with your own (mis)behaviour during the M?


LTA BS

Dday#1 02.06.06
Dday#2 28.11.06


Mind what you love. Mind how you are loved.


Posts: 471 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: London, UK
forgivenotforget
♀ Member
Member # 11053
Default  Posted: 4:19 PM, January 19th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am such a worrywart

LH - It is comforting to know that you are out there thinking of me and sending me silent and powerful vibes and hugs.
Now, as to this question:
Now I know not all of us have been perfect angels during the M...how are you coming to terms with your own (mis)behaviour during the M?

I blame them all on the devil (and we know who that is!!! ).
Seriously, I know my shortcomings, I know I have a bad temper and will defend myself to the death if feeling attacked (which many times I was during those years) but as I have said to my H and to all of you, nothing and I mean nothing that I ever did will compare to the degree of disrespect, lack of love and consideration and downright evil that his LTA demonstrated.
Yes, I was moody, I was angry, I was verbal when attacked. And more importantly, I walked away and lived my life separate from my H when I should have confronted him and demanded that we go to M C'ing. I took the easier path and ignored a zillion signs that my M was in deep, deep trouble. That is my regret.
ETA - This has been a major regret for me but I have to say that during those last 4 to 5 years I had so many wonderful times that when I look back at them now, I honestly never would have wanted to give them up. It was a heavy price to pay but these for me personally held so much satisfaction and to think instead that I might have been battling with the devastation of his A (remember they were going on longer than the period that I indulged myself in) instead of enjoying the wonderful times I had, well, I'm not so sure that I would have wanted it to be different. Sounds awful I guess, but in truth, the ideal would have been both of us enjoying our time together as well as our time apart. That was not to be.

[This message edited by forgivenotforget at 4:40 PM, January 19th (Monday)]


D-day - 12/23/05 LTA - 8 years.
"Love's a matter of trust and I just want to believe in us." M McBride

Posts: 1901 | Registered: Jun 2006 | From: A tunnel where I'm beginning to see the light
lovinlife
♀ Member
Member # 17863
Default  Posted: 6:33 PM, January 19th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Stopping in to say hello to everyone.

There has been ALOT going on it seems. I am sorry that there have been so many of you's struggling.

((((UKG))))... you are always welcome to visit my H and I. Always remember we have our cozy home away from home right in our driveway!

((((LH2))))

You do not need another thing to worry about!! Your H needs to just suck-it-up and stay in the job. Maybe when the economy picks up, but not now. Hope other things are going well.

((((FNF))))

I am keeping your sister and you in my prayers. It's really hard to deal with life threatening issues of those we love. Take care of yourself.

((((SL))))

I am sorry that there is no one IRL to talk to especially with your new concerns, but there are many here that care and are always happy to talk. I am keeping you in my thoughts and hoping there is a logical explanation for what has happened.

((((BT))))

Glad to hear that you are on the mend, you have been dearly missed.

Welcome to all the newbies

Life here in the Lovin household is good. We are all healthy and keeping busy. I have started my new journey to health, and have been keeping a food journal and going to the gym pretty much everyday!

This weekend was strange... my FWH took his Mom to the country (they have a cabin). It was the 1st time in almost a year and a half that he wasn't beside me in bed!! I had the hardest time sleeping and just couln't get comfy. I was missing him BIG time!

He came home early Sunday morning. He texted me when the got on the road and told me he loved me. It was good to have him back home, and I cooked some stew and we watched football together. When he came to bed that night he too said that he didn't sleep well and had missed me!!! We both got some sleep that night, but I also got some lovin...

Hoping that everyones struggles go away and health and happiness will find them.

Hang tough LTA tribe

Lovin


Together more than half our lives.

I am woman, hear me ROAR!!
What you accept, you teach!

Me 53, WS 54
Reconciled for life!
DD 24, DS 27


Posts: 1159 | Registered: Jan 2008 | From: Missouri
lovinlife
♀ Member
Member # 17863
Default  Posted: 6:41 PM, January 19th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Now I know not all of us have been perfect angels during the M...how are you coming to terms with your own (mis)behaviour during the M

LH,
I meant to comment on this. During MC I realized that it takes two to make it or break it, and I had to own up to my part. I was so busy with work and the kids and life and, and, and... you name it! Add to that I am, or was, the person taking care of my elderly parent. I just assumed that we (FWH & I) would eventually have our time! I admit to neglecting us. But like it was pointed out... it didn't give him the right to have an A!!

FWH has said that he didn't think I loved him or wanted him anymore. Just shows how our lack of communication also contributed!!


Together more than half our lives.

I am woman, hear me ROAR!!
What you accept, you teach!

Me 53, WS 54
Reconciled for life!
DD 24, DS 27


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