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User Topic: Long Term Affairs X I V
Whatnow28
♀ Member
Member # 19345
Default  Posted: 7:27 PM, February 3rd (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hello Tribe. I've been MIA- Just busy and not sure what to post...Seems like it's always some issue.

WH & I have been dieting which is going well. I'm still dreading Valentine's day. Thinking I should wait until the last minute or day to run out and buy him a card...see how that makes him feel! He's actually working that day so, I should try to keep myself busy.

Hope all is well with everyone.


ME: BW, 30 H: WH, 30 2 little boys

D-day 3/4/08 Whole "truth" from OW 3/12/08
Ow#1, 6 months PA
Ow#2, 2 years PA & EA

"It takes 3 seconds to say "I love you", 3 hours to explain it, & a lifetime to prove it".


Posts: 517 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: NE Coast
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 8:16 PM, February 3rd (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

AAAAGGGGHHHH! I just typed a really long post and lost it.

I read on one of the forums... can't recall which one or who the poster was... but he said he creates his post in Word or his email program so he can copy and paste to this little box that SI provides. I haven't tried it yet but if I feel a long one coming on, I will.

H just getting home. I'm hanging in there. So far, so good.

Warm hugs sent to the UK. We have at least 6 wks of winter on this side of the ocean. Guess I'll be looking at snow for a while yet and it's a really cold wind blowing outside. Hate to make the dog go out but he has to!

{{{LTA}}}


Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 5:30 AM, February 4th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi. Iíve been lurking occasionally (), when Iíve had the time and not had DSís or DH looking over my shoulder. I donít want the boys to see the site I go on, they might start making assumptions or asking questions. A part of me wants to bring them into the loop, but I just donít see how it would benefit anybody.

Hello to the newbies. Iím sorry to see you here, but there is a lot of excellent advice and support and whatever your circumstances, you can bet itís nothing we havenít read before! There is nothing too embarrassing or private or difficult to talk about. And if you want to vent, thatís ok too. My dday was way back in July 2006, I didnít find this place (in spite of all the googling!) until Oct/Nov 2007 when I was just about ready to throw in the towel. I could find nothing on LTAís and thought it wasnít worth carrying on. But weíre working on it.

I have IC in a short while. I just wanted to log in and let you know Iím ok. Kind of. Had all the pre-op stuff last week and everything was fine. Had the eyes tested and the mammogram a couple of months ago. Have read up on everything to be expected post-operatively. Have stressed out and debated to the Ďnth degree about the size of my boobs, but decided a 34C in the end. Have heard nothing but good stuff about my surgeon, which makes me faintly suspicious Ö.. And I go in next Tues (10th) for the op in the afternoon, coming home the next day and looking like Iíve been in the boxing ring.

I donít really want H to be around, but thereís not much I can do about that. Someoneís got to look after me for a while and I guess he should be him.

Better go, running late. Bbl.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
fadingmemories
♀ Member
Member # 20531
Default  Posted: 7:02 AM, February 4th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi All,
Just want to say I'm thinking of you. The next few months are full of long work hours.. I'm lurking and reading but I'm about 5 pages behind... Just want to say "hi" and I wish you all a nice day


Me BS
Him FWS
Married 25 Years† Together 31
LTA 12 years
DDay 4/11/08
R 2/14/09
"No matter if you think you can or you can't...either way you are right"
Scars do not form on the dying...
only on the survivors.



Posts: 315 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: North East
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 2:22 PM, February 4th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey UKG... so glad you unlurked to give us an update. Been wondering about you, sending good vibes across the ocean. Did the snow affect you? I read that our mayor was contacted about snow clearing!
http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/local/snowed-under_brits_get_advice_from_katz38992297.html#

Weepy... how are you doing?

FM... hello and thanks for the good wishes. FWH is on long work hours, his busiest time of the year and I'm trying not to let it stress me out as antiv.#2 looms on the wkend.

Cold weather ((1-15-09 The coldest weather has been recorded around the Wpg area, where temps on Tuesday night fell to -36C (-33F) with wind chills of -50C (-58F)) & stress make my health an issue so I'm doing my best to avoid going out and dwell on the good. I'm not always successful but I try.

ETA: Hugs didn't show and link isn't 'clickable'. Sorry!

[This message edited by lostsuol at 2:25 PM, February 4th (Wednesday)]


Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 6:29 PM, February 4th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The UK has been snowed in. Kids are estactic! They have not seen proper snow before.

Um, weíre more used to the snow up here. I have a Subaru AWD and DH drives a Freelander 4x4. When we get snow (which we have every year), it only makes the local news. It snows on you soft southerners and itís national news! We have our snow shovel and our grit in the garage cos we know what to expect. And, er, our buses were running. And itís only been down to -5C or so the last few days, so that's ok.

Meanwhile, on the home front, things havenít been that brilliant. Ok, I guess, but not brilliant. Iíve been with UKg2 and her STBX has been bending FWHís ear about how hard done by he is. UKg2 has been talking to his XW, well wtf did he expect??? FWH canít understand how his bf has changed, how he speaks about UKg2 or his XW, how he has rewritten history, how he couldnít believe he was being unfaithful, that his bf didnít tell him and that, mostly, why his bf wonít listen to him. I just shake my head at it all. It makes me feel I could either just walk out and away or scream at and slap him. Selfish bastard.

At IC today, I realised (to go with all the other things I realised about H) that he doesnít manage crises very well. Oh heís fine in business, but on a personal and practical level, he flounders or simply doesnít do the right thing. His parents are pretty much the same and he saw years ago. Totally opposite to me and my parents. Iím just glad he hasnít had to deal with anything life threatening. So when he had his affair, he saw me as coping with pretty much everything and he, chicken shit that he is, escaped into his la-la land. And I resent that. Actually, Iím fucking angry about it. And about his trickle truth after. I mean, two years and I still didnít have the truth?? I know the picture I have isnít the real one and probably isnít anything like how it actually was, but he didnít have anything negative to say about her or about the affair other than it was unfinished dialogue, a huge mistake, a bad choice. How could he be so besotted with her and not want to leave, esp when he was actively looking for her. How can he say our m has not been a lie??? Jerk.

There are so many times when, like FSA, I wish I had never known about the affair. I wish he hadnít told me, turning my life upside down, changing me and us forever, giving me this hardened edge and a wariness that doesnít sit well within me. He went down south to fly out to Munich last Sunday. He made such a big deal about the exhibition ticket (got me to print it off for him), the online boarding pass, how he couldnít do the boarding pass for his colleague, about how he had booked the flights so he could travel when he wanted to. He rang for me to look up the hotel directions again (please, just get a satnav) when he drove past it. And I didnít want to think about where he was or where he was going, it only makes me think things like he would have stayed with OW on that Sunday night because she lives about an hour from the airport, or he would have Öoh, yk.

LostH, I had a long conversation with MIL this evening. I donít know why I bother. They both think we should just get back to where we were, sheís upset that I wonít wear a wedding ring esp as H is now (never worn one before), basically, that we should put his infidelity to one side and get on with things. Excuse me, OW has been a presence all my marriage and I only found out after 26yrs! Our m is now no longer a point for ANY discussion. No point. Diff generation who really had very few choices once míd. somehow, having the choice makes it more difficult, donít you think? Love the sound of your trip, btw! Go girl and ENJOY!

I was thinking the other day about my surgery costs. Conservatively it works out at £50 per night with OW. I think he should be happy to pay that, seeing as the company and the fucks were for free.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
fadingmemories
♀ Member
Member # 20531
Default  Posted: 7:04 PM, February 4th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OK...so I am now on page 21 and really trying to catch up.
I am so glad (and so sad)that I didn't read about the 100 one dollar bills 6 months ago!!!


Me BS
Him FWS
Married 25 Years† Together 31
LTA 12 years
DDay 4/11/08
R 2/14/09
"No matter if you think you can or you can't...either way you are right"
Scars do not form on the dying...
only on the survivors.



Posts: 315 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: North East
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 10:14 AM, February 5th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fading, I would love to have just handed out type written notes to the barmaids at her local pubs and eating establishments. But that wouldn't be fair to her BH.

Iím tired of FWH doing nothing for us. I was in the hairdressers today (well, my face is going to look awful, so my hair might at least look ok!) and they were talking about films. Australia, Slumdog, The Duchess. He just says to wait til they come out on DVD or on Sky. Going to the movies is going out and having a meal and enjoying being out! Same reason why people go to concerts even though you can get stuff on CD and online. Yet heíll go to a rugby match at Wembley Ė whatís different about that to watching it on tv? Iím fed up Ė no different places to eat, no days out, no holidays. To start with after dday, I was suggesting and organising so we would be doing things together. Then I met MOW and stopped. I know I sound like a moaning Minnie, but why canít he do it? I asked the same of MIL and she seemed to think I was punishing him because I said he could do it for MOW but not for me. And then she said about how she did everything Ė slight difference, FIL is deaf. And has vertigo so that walking in a straight line is an achievement. Has she still got her son on a pedestal?

I have given FWH a list of places I want to go, I had a list of restaurants we have never been to that I would like to try, I did have a list of films I wanted to see and got the events guides to the theatres (although with MOW having gone with WH to the theatre for a Shakespeare play birthday treat, Iím not so keen now). Nothing. Do I just say sod it and organise something for myself? After Tuesday, I canít even drive for two weeks and I doubt if Iíll want to be seen in public for at least a month. I bet he doesnít want to do anything weekend either, preferring a ďquiet time at homeĒ after his fractious journeys on the snow covered roads.

All I want is for him to do something for me. Not take it for granted that itís somehow my job to do the social diary. Golf and rugby, thatís all I get. Sometimes I feel Iím just not worth the effort and she was.

And am I wrong in saying Iím not married to him? I donít want to be his wife Ė that was what he was getting away from; the wife and domesticity. Which is another thing. When he was supposed to be in Munich, I was cleaning the oven (not done since the Xmas goose Ė ugh!), hob and surround, defrosting the chest freezer and then I would have to properly clean the floors instead of the usual once-over. He came home. The worst job in the world and he came home. He just doesnít get it. One part was pleased he was home and the other resentful. MOW never wore the perfume of bleach for him, did she. All part of the affair fallout.

Sorry. I disappear only to come back and boardhog moan.

[This message edited by UKgirl at 10:15 AM, February 5th (Thursday)]


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, February 5th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

All I want is for him to do something for me. Not take it for granted that itís somehow my job to do the social diary.

I donít want to be his wife Ė that was what he was getting away from; the wife and domesticity.

Sorry. I disappear only to come back and boardhog moan.

No apology needed, IMO. I have had all the same thoughts! Countless times. I resent so much that now he's asleep moments after 10p while he'd be online til after midnight with OW. Does that '2nd best' feeling ever go away? Lately I can't drag myself away from SI to do anything constructive. Lethargy is my companion. I want it to be different. I want to be the person I was before Dday but as my user name says, I'm 'lost'. Sadly, I was naively happy at home and had no problem filling my days with domestic or creative activities. I loved to share my passion with others. Now I isolate myself indoors, partly due to the weather but mostly because I don't want to subject anyone to my miserable mood.
I feel like I've aged 10 yrs in the last two! People used to comment on how young I looked... doesn't happen now.
There I go again. Empathizing with UKGirl turned into a vent of my own. I just want the carefree life that OW robbed me of. And I don't know how to get it (or me) back. I fear that the lovable me is gone and the person I've become may drive FWH away...

Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 3:12 PM, February 5th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I asked the same of MIL and she seemed to think I was punishing him because I said he could do it for MOW but not for me. And then she said about how she did everything Ė slight difference, FIL is deaf. And has vertigo so that walking in a straight line is an achievement. Has she still got her son on a pedestal?

UKG - you must know that looking for solace or advice from a doting MIL is a losing proposition. I know your MIL is not one of the "toxic" ones but she will always hold her son first in her heart and, yes, it does sound like he is still on a pedestal.

As far as wanting your H to just plan something, I know you have heard the Serenity Prayer on here enough times to have it memorized, but YOU can't change HIM. If he isn't going to do it, then he isn't. You can decide that it is acceptable and either plan something for you (either both of you or you alone) or you can call the game over. It sounds like he has *heard* you but isn't listening or doesn't believe it. Maybe, all the years of you doing everything made him think that you aren't planning anything because you don't want to do it?

All I want is for him to do something for me. Not take it for granted that itís somehow my job to do the social diary. Golf and rugby, thatís all I get.

If you don't want golf and rugby, don't go. If you like it but want to do something else, put it in writing. (e.g. Mr. UKG, I would be happy to accompany you to XYZ rugby match on the agreement that after, you will escort me to XYZ restaurant and XYZ movie. Are you in agreement?) Somtimes I think these Hs of ours are like mules. Then only understand something when you whack them between the eyes with a stick!


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 3:17 PM, February 5th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((lostsoul)))

Now I isolate myself indoors, partly due to the weather but mostly because I don't want to subject anyone to my miserable mood.

You are in Winnipeg, right? Isn't this like the coldest nastiest winter on record up there? Hell I am hundreds of miles south of you and we have been in the single digits for days. It makes going to the grocery store an artic expedition!!

Do you belong to any groups (recreation, sports, church, etc)? You would be amazed how much being around a group of people who share any passion of yours will help. You just need to take the first little baby step. Don't isolate yourself. Try to make a point to have some human interaction on a daily basis (BTW, I don't count our Hs in the "human" category!!! )

And, I am the queen boardhog/venter so nobody else can feel guilty at all.


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 3:20 PM, February 5th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just want the carefree life that OW robbed me of. And I don't know how to get it (or me) back. I fear that the lovable me is gone and the person I've become may drive FWH away...

I have that too. I have turned into someone I donít recognise. Well, Iíll be doing that on the outside too next week. Hey, a completely new person! Ta-dah! I always assumed the best of someone unless I found out otherwise, and then Iíd find excuses or reasons and feel sorry for them. Iím not one to confront or dig my heels in. all that has changed. An example: Last week I pulled out on a car that only had one offside front sidelight on in pretty dull conditions. All other vehicles had their full heads on. His car blocked the car behind, which I saw as a single full light and thought ďbikeĒ and pulled out. As I did registered the car in front of it, a sluggish Discovery TD5. I have a 3litre petrol Subaru, so I had no real bad feelings about it, loads of time. He hooted, flashed and then tail gated me. In town, I stopped in the middle of the road, leaving him nowhere to go, got out and indicated for him to open his window, just to tell him his light was out (Iíve had Discoís and know there is no light-out indicator on the dash). He opened it an inch, so I yanked open his door and told him about the light, he then went off on one at me backing down when it was apparent I was taking no shit from him and knew the law better than he did. He says ďokay, okay, keep your hair onĒ so I told him he was a dangerous driver and a w*nker and slammed his door shut, storming back to my own car to continue taking DS2 to work. I even called him a stupid c*** under my breath. Three years ago, I would have put myself in the wrong, mentally apologising. Not now.

But I do miss the person I was and the life I had the marriage I thought I had. I wonder how much of it was good for my H and whether or not he had times he was truly happy with me. I know I have to keep telling myself it wasnít about me, that I was not to blame for his choices, that he was a master at hiding and lying and keeping his double life. The business of not wanting to do domestic chores when he is around, of not wanting to be seen in walk the dog or gardening clothes, of seeing me ill, crying uncontrollably or in pain. I feel he has seen too much of me and itís not a pretty sight. I have nothing he doesnít know about, Iím as transparent as a piece of glass. And I donít like it.

I wish I could just let go of it and say if it wasnít enough for him, then thatís his problem and not mine. If he refuses to talk about things, thereís not much I can do.

But for now, let's share a big hug (((((lostsuol & me)))))


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 3:30 PM, February 5th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sorry shirley! We were cross-posting.

MIL means well, they both do. They just don't understand. And they find it really hard when they are with my parents, which they are quite a lot. My parents still talk about H in glowing terms. And me. And us. Which hurts them no end.

I have the Serenity Prayer. I also have a little quote which says something about it's not what you say or what you feel that counts, it's what you do. I do try. But, well, we all do. That's why we're here, i guess.

e.g. Mr. UKG, I would be happy to accompany you to XYZ rugby match on the agreement that after, you will escort me to XYZ restaurant and XYZ movie. Are you in agreement?

Now that's a great idea!

Comments have been made about me still being online. So I'll dish up dinner, moussaka (sp?) and salad.


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 4:23 PM, February 5th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

But for now, let's share a big hug (((((lostsuol & me)))))
Thanks UKG. And HS too! Maybe if I could change my 'outside' (boob lift and tummy tuck would help) my inside would feel different. But it's doubtful.
HS: It's actually -4C (-8 Windchill) today. I should go out but even retail therapy isn't tempting. Too much hearts and flowers in the mall.
I don't belong to any social groups. Daytime groups seem to be for "seniors" in the area. I'm too old for 'Moms' day out at the church. I feel like a misfit all around... like I'm dragging a huge load of p**p ("A" crap) behind me.
I want to run away from home. Only the crap follows me wherever I go.
There's been no talk of V-Day here. FWH is busy at work and goes out of town for a week the next day. Tomorrow and Saturday are days that my heart and brain want to forget. Or I want to forget that I have a heart and a brain. I'm not sure which...

Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 5:27 PM, February 5th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There's been no talk of V-Day here.

Well, there's no talk of it here either but that is because if he even mentioned it he would be back sleeping in the garage apt. again!!! No Valentine shit for me. I am past all the fantasy love of my life crap. I want a partner. Someone strong and faithful to be next to me on the path of life. I have three incredible daughters that are ready to launch into life. I don't want a fucking valentine, I want a faithful partner and a good father to my children (yes, still mine...not ours yet).

<can you tell I have had some wine>


So I'll dish up dinner, moussaka (sp?) and salad.

oooooohhhhh....I love moussaka. Did you make it? If so, can I get the recipe? Glad you liked the suggestion. If it doesn't work, I have the big fat 2x4 ready for him.


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
lostsuol
♀ Member
Member # 13706
Default  Posted: 6:51 PM, February 5th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Waaaaah! I want some wine. And some moussaka (sp?) and salad.

oooooohhhhh....I love moussaka. Did you make it? If so, can I get the recipe?
Me too. I've only eaten it out, never made it at home.

Posts: 808 | Registered: Feb 2007 | From: Canada
weepy
♀ Member
Member # 8790
Default  Posted: 8:09 AM, February 6th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Morning tribe. I know I've been MIA for quite a while now. I've been lurking in other forum, trying to give encouragement or clarification where I can to a few newbies.

For the most part, I've been well. Still can't deal with his negativity. Still flip out when he "thinks for me" or totally creates history or rewrites it. I still "hear" attacks when he criticizes someone or something I've been involved with.

The diet is going fair. I lost 10 lbs in January. Just enough to give me one more pair of jeans I now fit in. I have not yet gotten back to the gym, but that will happen soon.

Father and son have gone off for their annual ski weekend. It was quite tense before they left, but I'm looking forward to the peace and quiet and control of the remote! As a matter of fact, I'm going to pop in a "chick flick" as soon as I finish here.

Lost my part time job two weeks ago due to "we really can do your work ourselves" excuse. Guess I was fired. Unfortunately, I still have to be in contact with them because they screwed up my W2 for taxes and I accidently gave them Steve's Palm charger instead of the Blackberry charger. They're idiots, what can I say? But I'm still on unemployment and looking sporadically for work. I need to work on my motivation to get things done around the house. I think that might make me feel better. But I have the winter blahs, compounded by H's SAD, so the place looks like a trash pit.

I already put up dinners for the whole weekend (I made them food to take away and kept some myself) so I won't have to cook. DD is going to be with her future in-laws on Sunday and is going wedding dress shopping with a friend tomorrow. That means if we want to do something together, it will be tonight. But I have IC at 7:30 which kind of cramps things.

Just wanted to check in and give hugs to everyone. Life is going on, triggers are fewer and milder when they do happen. Trying to keep in the here and now to fix what's still making me keep my walls up. Don't know if they'll ever come down fully.


Dday: 9/12/05
M: 29 yrs( me anyway )
BS(me): 55 And I'm ok with that
FWS: 57- Multiple PAs, LTA 7? yrs.

Try not. Do or do not, there is no try. -- Yoda


Posts: 9340 | Registered: Nov 2005 | From: SE PA
UKgirl
♀ Member
Member # 17062
Default  Posted: 9:01 AM, February 6th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FWH has booked the weekend away!!!!! Going in an hour or so. He told me this morning. The boys will be fine, DS2 doesnít work weekends so he can be around for DS4. Weíre only going an hour or so from here to a spa hotel. Iím trying to be positive about it, but hoping itís not near where MOW lives. However, there is this niggling feeling. Iíll explain.

Last Monday, he was due to fly out to Munich on an early morning flight, so he went down on Sunday night, booking in to the hotel right on the airport complex. His flight was cancelled. However, he made such a big deal of being transparent, that it has made me suspicious, more so now he has booked the weekend away. He must have booked it jus a couple of days ago. Did he try to see MOW last Sunday night, but was thwarted by the weather? He got me to see all the stuff with the flights, the online boarding pass printout and the exhibition tickets, but I saw nothing on the hotel where he said he was staying. And he rang me from the motorway because he ďcouldnít find itĒ. Funny how he was just five minutes away. He rang me that night, said he was watching the football. And then he rang me in the morning to log on about flight cancellations Ė donít they have that sort of info at the hotel??? And now heís booked the weekend. What for? The first one since November 2006 that he has sorted for us.

Why do I feel like this? Am I wired up all wrong and seeing things that arenít there? Should I contact MOWísH and find out where she was supposed to be last Sunday night? Am I paranoid? Do I let it go?

Weepy, oh my. Sorry about the job loss. Hope something comes in soon. But well done on the weight loss. 10lb in January? Phew. Meanwhile, I think we should do a house swap. You can finish my hallway decor (hate those bare lightbulbs!) and start on the top floor and Iíll come over and declutter your house!

Okay, off to wonder what Iíve missed packing. Have a good weekend tribe, Iíll let you know how it goes.

ETA: Lostsuol & Shirley, I posted the recipe in F&G if you want to see how easy it is!

[This message edited by UKgirl at 9:06 AM, February 6th (Friday)]


D-Day: 30 July 2006 LTA: 5yrs
Me, BS, 56 y/o Him, WS, 57 y/o
MOW, pathetic ex-fiancee.
3 grown boys and one 18 y/o
I don't consider myself married anymore.
There are some words once spoken split the world in two. Before you say them and after.

Posts: 3328 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: UK
hurtshirley
Member
Member # 16197
Default  Posted: 10:08 AM, February 6th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FWH has booked the weekend away!!!!!

YEAHHHHHH Mr UKG!!!!

Why do I feel like this? Am I wired up all wrong and seeing things that arenít there?

Maybe you are scared because he is doing what you want and therefore, some walls may have to come down? Sounds like he is really trying with the transparency thing. And, if he WAS with her and he WAS calling you every 20 seconds to check, imagine how second rate she WOULD feel. But, I don't think this is a guilt thing. I think he is really trying.

Have fun and give us ALLLLL the gory details when you get back.


"Forgiveness is the grace by which you enable the other person to get up, and get up with dignity, to begin anew" Desmond Tutu

Posts: 2170 | Registered: Sep 2007
Lost Heart2
♀ Member
Member # 21793
Default  Posted: 11:55 AM, February 6th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

FWH has booked the weekend away


Way to go, Mr UKG!!!
Hope you have a blast, Sweetie.

****

Thinking I should wait until the last minute or day to run out and buy him a card...see how that makes him feel!

WN,
It will never be the same.
How about planning something just for you.
Like Shirley, I do not live in that fantasy world anymore. Even before, that world was made out of one...me. So I guess I am not missing anything. I could go on about how he treated her for Vday, whilst I got the "we are married so we dont need to do all that now" speech ever since...well..since we married, but it doesnt help me.

Rather plan to do something for your self. Love you.
:

***
(((((weepy))))

I am so sorry, my friend. Big big hugs.


LTA BS

Dday#1 02.06.06
Dday#2 28.11.06


Mind what you love. Mind how you are loved.


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