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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Spouses/Partners of Sex Addicts II
Ingrid
♀ Member
Member # 20126
Default  Posted: 1:35 PM, February 12th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My SA hubby has been wanting to have sex lately, and I have not wanted to, at all. For I have been just too hurt beyond belief lately to even think of it. He cussed me out competely on Super Bowl Sunday, and he's doing nothing to help himself get over his sex addiction. Therefore, my soul, heart and body are just not there for him.

It would be IF he were working on things. I have tried to tell him this; he will not listen.

I still feel unsure about his whereabouts, which is another thing of concern for me. I saw on his bank statement a charge from a restaurant just one block away from his favorite strip club. This set me back about 3 months. Of course he denies anything, saying he was at the Home Depot there.

TODAY, I am asking him to take me again to the strip club, to see his favorite stripper. I NEED to see his heart detached from her and to see is reaction. He of course refused and stormed off just now. BUT, I need to go there to ascertain in my heart that it's truly over for him. If not, I have to ascertain otherwise.


Posts: 232 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: L.A. CA
lovedontlivehere
♀ Member
Member # 20055
Default  Posted: 1:45 PM, February 12th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

TODAY, I am asking him to take me again to the strip club, to see his favorite stripper. I NEED to see his heart detached from her and to see is reaction. He of course refused and stormed off just now. BUT, I need to go there to ascertain in my heart that it's truly over for him. If not, I have to ascertain otherwise.

I hope you are not pain shopping (i'm guilty of that).


Partner still wanking off into fantasy land.
*update* No longer together, but he was STABBED and now wants R. Whatever.

Posts: 1256 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Deep South
grownup
♀ Member
Member # 22285
Default  Posted: 2:21 PM, February 12th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lovely Ingrid,
And if you don't see the reaction you want?....

You can go to the club alone if you really want to see her. What is the purpose of him having to be with you? Are you expecting to be able to control how that meeing will go? You need to think this through a little more over what the possible outcomes of this will be.

Breathe, hon.


Me:44
Him:44 SA
Married:14 years
D-day: too many, final Nov 8, 2008
Separating ,he's on the run

Posts: 153 | Registered: Jan 2009 | From: alberta
Ingrid
♀ Member
Member # 20126
Default  Posted: 3:00 PM, February 12th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dear Friends:

Thank you. I don't believe I am "pain shopping"...so you may say, but "reality shopping".

I want/need to kno my hubby of 20 yrs. is OVER his joy ride whore for all time. I believe IF he is, he will do anything to show me and to prove it.

We just got out tax return prepared by our tax man, and hubby wants me to sign it. I, said I would not unless/until he takes me face to face with said whore, and expressed himself. He had a fit, as this is holding up our money. He said he "would not" and stormed out.

I feel however, after all he has put me thru this past year, that I deserve to have his repentence, now.

IF he is not willing to prove it, what does that show???? IF he cannot take me to the precious strip club, face the whore head on, then have me sign our taxes, what does that show?

Anyway, as you can all tell, yes, I am not over it yet. I need moreproof that my husband is, like he says he is.


Posts: 232 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: L.A. CA
gibbonsrose
♀ Member
Member # 16280
Default  Posted: 3:09 PM, February 12th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

TODAY, I am asking him to take me again to the strip club, to see his favorite stripper. I NEED to see his heart detached from her and to see his reaction. He of course refused and stormed off just now.

Refusal? Storming off?... I think that's your answer.

In addition to:

he's doing nothing to help himself get over his sex addiction.


Take care of yourself, hon. His actions are speaking volumes.


Me - Befuckled
WH - Limber at limbo *sigh*

Posts: 5040 | Registered: Sep 2007 | From: mountain transplant
Ingrid
♀ Member
Member # 20126
Default  Posted: 3:31 PM, February 12th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know. His actions ARE speaing volumes.

Clearly he is NOT repentent in the least, I feel if he truly was, he'd say "honey, I[d be glad to take you to the strip club or wherever, whatever you need to heal from MY screw up. HE is not saying that. He is completely mad and angry and has stormed off just now, accusing me of "blackmailing him" concerning our taxes.

Whatever. I really fe4l over all we've been thry this past year, IF I had a husband, truly repentent, he'd do anything, even go to the strip joint again, facing the stripper. He's been nothing but angry, defiant, etc. which makes me think, he's probably been back there.

I am soooo glad I have not given myself to this man recently. My intuition was good, thanks be to God.


Posts: 232 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: L.A. CA
lovedontlivehere
♀ Member
Member # 20055
Default  Posted: 3:44 PM, February 12th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you. I don't believe I am "pain shopping"...so you may say, but "reality shopping".

I can understand what you mean. It's understandable to want to know what's really going on.

((((ingrid))))

I still feel unsure about his whereabouts, which is another thing of concern for me. I saw on his bank statement a charge from a restaurant just one block away from his favorite strip club.


Partner still wanking off into fantasy land.
*update* No longer together, but he was STABBED and now wants R. Whatever.

Posts: 1256 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Deep South
7yrsbetrayed
♀ Member
Member # 10198
Default  Posted: 6:23 PM, February 12th (Thursday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am asking him to take me again to the strip club, to see his favorite stripper. I NEED to see his heart detached from her and to see is reaction.

We just got out tax return prepared by our tax man, and hubby wants me to sign it. I, said I would not unless/until he takes me face to face with said whore, and expressed himself.

I think you are possibly pain shopping but you are most certainly being codependent and trying to control him.

He is right, you are trying to bribe him. That is never, ever, ever, ever, ever going to work. None of your attempts to manipulate him will work.

You need to set boundaries and consequences. You need to learn what those are and HOW to set them. The key being that you surrender the outcome. I've posted the link to the website that I found that explains it really well so many times I'm sure you can find it.

Your best hope right now is to find a good IC for yourself, someone who can help you with your codependence.

He's going to do what he's going to do and you cannot control it, you didn't cause it and you can't cure it. You have to work on you.


Me(44)
Him(46) arthurdent (rSA)
Married 12 yrs, together 15
Renewed Vows 12/19/08
One DD(8)
You can avoid reality but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.~Ayn Rand

Posts: 2167 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: Colorado
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 7:13 AM, February 13th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ingrid, what 7 yrs is saying is right. I have done the same things. I go back and forth, between detaching and building a life for myself, and then I get a glimmer of hope and boom - I am back to wanting to help him get better.

It makes you feel as though you are constantly in a tug of war with yourself. And it is doing horrible things to my poor old worn out body. I have panic attacks, migraines, irregular periods, all because of one man. That is giving him way too much power over my life!

Last night, he was giving me the "poor, pitiful me" act, he works so hard for a family he never sees, he doesn't know if we are ever going to be with him (he lives in another state for a job right now, and I have to go thru court for permission to move, but I withdrew the court date until he is in recovery).

So he is trying to manipulate me into going to court and all this, but I held my ground and told him, that I can no way move me and my DD in with him while he is not in recovery. I will not subject her to that. And he asked how I will know. I told him that he will no longer have the "addict" personality. That instead of me asking him how it is going, and if he is making any progress, he will volunteer it.

I believe if he truly "gets" it, and goes into recovery, he will want to talk about it, and be excited that he sees a better life, and will stop the lying, blaming, and get "real".

He says he is making progress, but we all know that he isn't going to make any real progress until he gets outside help. I am glad he is looking at his past in a more realistic way, and trying to deal with some of his demons, but he is so arrogant, thinking he can whiteknuckle his addiction by himself, when he can't even quit smoking.

I'm a little behind on getting my resume together, this week I have had horrible migraines, and I am a little scared of the job market when I can't trust my body anymore, but I know I need to keep moving forward.

Ingrid, I also understand why you feel you need to see the hooker. I would too. And I would want to see how my H reacts to her, but it seems like in your case, you already have the answer. I know my H isn't truly in recovery. For all I know, he is still acting out in some way, but I just can't worry about all his problems right now.

Once he is really getting it, and in recovery (if ever), then I will make him go for STD testing, and we can resume intimate relations at that time. But for now, we haven't had normal intimate relations in over a year. I feel like an old withered used-up hag, and sometimes the temptation of looking for something else is there, but I realize my heart is still with him for some stupid reason.

Oh well, this post was supposed to let you know you aren't alone in all your feelings, and then I went on about my pitiful morning--I need to get outside in the sunlight and I'll feel better!


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 14918 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
Eternaloptimist
♀ Member
Member # 15029
Default  Posted: 8:47 AM, February 13th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ingrid,

7years is right and I think you would do yourself a favor to take her advice. I've been where you are and I know how confusing it can seem when you think you're being strong and taking a stand, when it turns out you're still handing control over to him for your peace of mind (co-dependent behaviour). You'll know the difference when you just FEEL different. Healthy boundaries give you a certain peace -- unhealthy boundaries are fuelled by anger and vengeance.

NA,
I'm sorry you're going through a tough time but it really does sound like you're doing fine (perhaps it takes an outsider to see that??). You're dealing with a really tough situation with dignity and self-respect. Believe me, my own body feels like it's declaring mutiny (does anyone else get month-long periods??) so I know how disconcerting that can be. But I think there's been a real shift in your "inner" world that is serving you well.

7years -- how are things at your end?

And happy almost-Valentine's Day everyone! The gifts we give each other on this thread and this site are true gifts indeed.


Me: BS
Him: WS, SA
Married: 12 years
Three kids: 9-year-old D, 7-year-old S, 5-year-old D
D-Day #1: December 11, 2006 (LTA)
D-Day #2: June 17, 2007 (found out about SA)

Posts: 656 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Toronto
hope4tomorrow
♀ Member
Member # 21673
Default  Posted: 11:49 AM, February 13th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't have a lot of time to post on here having 3 little ones. I do read everyone's words and I do appreciate all that you write to each other. It really helps me to see what real recovery for us looks like.

(((Ingrid)))
(((NA)))


Me BW
Him WH-SA
Married 12 years
3 Beautiful girls 8 and under

Posts: 346 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: California
birdwatch
♀ Member
Member # 19978
Default  Posted: 12:32 PM, February 13th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ingrid,

7yearsbetrayed and Eternaloptimist, who are more veteran members of this Thread, have both given you great advice. Having said that, be gentle with yourself and realize that you have to progress through your own healing journey in your own time.

From a practical standpoint, it is wasted effort for you to meet the hooker. I know you want desperately for your husband to recognize his addiction and commit to treatment. But you know already know that that is not the case. So why would you bother checking up on something that you already know the answer to?

In addition, even if he were to act "appropriately" when you drag him to see the hooker, you know deep in your heart that he is likely seeing other hookers and engaging in other inappropriate activites. Any comfort that a confrontation with this particular hooker might give you is not real.

Having made comments on the practical side, there are deeper issues here. You cannot make someone change and you cannot control another person. You need to take care of yourself. You should address your own obessession to control, and your rage. We have all been through these emotions. Please seek counselling for yourself. Whether your husband recovers, and whether your marriage eventually survives, you need to rebuild yourself and your emotional well-being.

I have a suggestion. In your next post, do not write about your husband, his lack of recovery, or any thoughts about controling him. Instead, write about your anger, and your feelings of helplessness, fear and insecurity. This may be what you need to recognize your feelings. We are all here for you.

By the way, I do think there is an element of pain shopping in your case. I also think you wish to humiliate your husband. I spoke with my counsellor once, who asked me what would make me feel better. I said, I dare my husband to cheat again, so that I can catch him in the act with the OW, and I can give both of them a piece of my mind, break up with my husband right there, tell OW my husband is all hers because I don't want him anymore. I want the events to unfold in MY way, under MY control. My counsellor made the interesting observation that in that case, I would only feel better if my husband were to cheat again (so I can humiliate him back). What I told my counsellor was only said in a time of rage, so I did not mean it. But you may be able to identify with my thoughts and to recongize how unproductive humiliation is.

Goodness, I am incapable of writing succinctly, but I hope this post helps you Ingrid.

birdwatch

[This message edited by birdwatch at 12:37 PM, February 13th (Friday)]


* Known WS since 2001. Me: 37.
* D Day 1 - Mar 2008: Discovered cyber/phone sex, dating sites etc
* D Day 2 - May 2008: Discovered more "stuff". WS admitted to one A - my gut says > half a dozen.
* R'ing. IC & MC. WS is sex addict.

Posts: 377 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Toronto, Canada
Goldenrule
♀ Member
Member # 20242
Default  Posted: 12:24 AM, February 14th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Friends, I need some info please. This week my WH was confirmed a SA. Internet porn issues. See my profile for the WH story. His IC recomended IC for me because I'm a co-addict. In english terms, what does this really mean and entail?

I've just started reading "Mending a Shattered Heart" and am confused as to what this really means.

This is a whole new world for me ,and I'm scared, lost, and overwhelmed.

If the infidelities weren't enough, now this to deal with. I just don't know if I'm strong enough. Please help me.

Thanks to all of you, SI has been a lifesaver for me


BW-51
WH-49
2 CHILDREN
D-DAY 08-05-07
IT IS WHAT IT IS

Posts: 82 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: MA
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 6:33 AM, February 14th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

goldenrule - welcome to the thread (sorry you have to be here though).
What I know about SA so far (and there are other more veteran members that will be along shortly to help you, I'm sure)

It is an illness. When you really educate yourself, it will help you not take his acting out quite so personal, because it is not against you, it is his brokenness inside of him. (I have found it is impossible to not take it personal all the time, but it does help some). Many SA's were abused as children. They learn early on to develop very unhealthy behaviors to cope, such as lying, hiding, secrecy, a compulsion towards porn, which later escalates into more, and many times because of the betrayals that they are forced to endure, they end up with intimacy disorders.

They have a lot of the same addict behaviors as other types of addicts (alcoholic, drug addict, etc...) only they use sex/porn in order to escape or numb their feelings.

There are a lot of good resources, for you to learn about all this, 7 yrs betrayed has some posts either on this thread or the Spouses/Parnters of Sex Addicts I thread--I suggest you read thru as many as you can, you will probably find a lot you can identify with, and some very useful information. You will also see the struggles that many of us go thru, and how we handle them (for good and bad!).

I think most of us end up as codependents. Cosa and S-anon are helpful to deal with that. In a nutshell, what a codependent is (and I am still learning), is someone who enables the addict by keeping their secrets or ignoring them, someone who tries hard to change or fix their partner, when in reality your partner is the only one who can change themselves (because it never works unless they really really want to change), and someone whose identity has gotten caught up with their spouse.

Going to a codependent group will help you detach, and start putting yourself first (a must for this!), and realize that your whole world does not need to revolve around your H.

If you aren't strong enough now, you will be. Don't worry. It is a process (sorry, it can be painful, but my IC tells me growth and healing always involve pain--so just think of how strong we are all getting!)

Please keep posting here as much as you need, there is an incredible group of strong and caring women here who will be able to give you much support!


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 14918 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 6:56 AM, February 14th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Eternaloptimist: Thank you for those words of encouragement.

(TMI if you get queasy about womens' functions)---I don't get month long periods, but they have been coming shorter (one was only 19 days apart! and my usual was always about 27 days), and this one was 2 weeks late and then when I did start--oh my gosh, I gushed for almost 2 days, and lost a bunch of clots! This month has been a tough one for some reason, and I have pretty much been living on Migraine Excedrin. I am starting to suspect that all this has thrown me into early perimenopause.

Plus, I think that glimmer of hope that I had that he finally realizes he has a problem, has faded into: he thinks he can do this himself, and he has no idea that it is not just about the stupid sex. He is still hiding and manipulating, major manipulating. And still has a lot of anger, which fuels this for him. So I really think he is just trying to do "just enough" to pretend that he has fixed himself. How stupid does he think I am?

Although, I do have him talking about this stuff more regularly without him crying that he can't take this anymore and he has to leave. But he keeps telling me I have to do "my part" and trust him that he is working on this.

Sorry, I seem to have gotten really good at the sarcasm stuff. It is how I deal with it and keep my sanity.

His mom called me last week and asked how we were doing, she told me she hopes we are okay, because she says he won't make it without me. Thanks for the guilt trip, MIL. I told her we'll see. Really tired of everyone trying to manipulate me.

Oh, and he told me he is doing all these things to be transparent, but he isn't doing "everything", plus I told him there is no way I can watch everything he does when he is down there. Again, I think he is just showing me what he wants me to see, and who knows where he is acting out now. He makes the cable bill and phone transparent, but how do I know there isn't another phone? Or magazines? Or how do I know where he is every minute of the day? I really don't.

I don't think he realizes he can't just steamroll his way over this like he has all his life, and that I am looking for a change in his whole personality. Counseling, counseling, counseling.

I did send him a 9 page letter thru the mail, showing him how devestating this is for me, with pages from Sexaholics Anonymous, Recovery Nation, and a couple other good informative websites. He won't like that, but he needs to get his head out of la-la land.

I won't settle for less! (Even though I am starving for physical attention!) At least I can cuddle with my puppies!


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 14918 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 8:06 AM, February 14th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Okay. Because I am at my do or die, this is it point, I wrote my letter to him. I am terribly nervous about sending it, because it is pretty much he fixes it or I am gone.

If there are any incredibly patient souls here that would be willing to read this (it is long!) and give me some gentle feedback on it, because again I am really nervous about it and I just started typing and wasn't sure where it was going, but it is straight from my heart, would you please PM me and I will send it to you.

I am not wanting to put this one up on the board, for lurkers and others to read, only other SI members who I know will have my best interest at heart.

Thank you in advance to anyone who is willing to take the time to read this and give me an opinion.


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 14918 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
Ingrid
♀ Member
Member # 20126
Default  Posted: 5:28 PM, February 14th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NA/Birdwatch and others:

"Ingrid, what 7 yrs is saying is right. I have done the same things. I go back and forth, between detaching and building a life for myself, and then I get a glimmer of hope and boom - I am back to wanting to help him get better."
It makes you feel as though you are constantly in a tug of war with yourself. And it is doing horrible things to my poor old worn out body. I have panic attacks, migraines, irregular periods, all because of one man. That is giving him way too much power over my life!"

YES---YES----thank you! I feel exactly this way! Like at times I am losing total control of my body.....sickness, headaches, panic attacks, (have needed to take a tranquilizer just lately----not then, but now, 9 months later....post traumatic stress" I guess....what is this?

I know I need to take care of myself, and I do, most of the time...then the hurt, anger and rage sets in again, and I'd rather die.

I wish I could feel as some confident women do, saying to me, "just forget about the loser, divorce him and move on...he made his choice when he cheated"........well, they;re super confident, have good careers, their whole lives are so very different from mine I guess.

One day at a time.

I never would have imagined that a beautiful, confident woman such as myself would be so insecure at times, and sooooo co-dependent. I hate it.

Have been reading the book by Melanie Beattie lately, "Co-Dependent No More". Parts of it were so painful to read, I had a panic attack reading it and even had to put it down. WOW!!!!

It's hard to work on ourselves.

I long for the day when I can be 100% confident again, that no matter what my husband chooses it won't matter any longer.

FYI: We never retreated back to the strip joint that day. I suppose I was testing him to see if he'd break down and take me there. I'm glad he did not. If I actually went there again, I would have felt awful, for we were already there together in Sept. It was terrible. He wrote her a letter saying he's never stepping foot in that den of hell again. Don't know if he has or notfor sure, but thanks to everyone reminding me I cannot control, or cure him.

Thank you all so much.

YourFriend....


Posts: 232 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: L.A. CA
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 5:36 PM, February 14th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's hard to work on ourselves

It absolutely is! But so very worthwhile!

When you get to the point that you have just had enough of the pain, that is when you will be able to let go. That is why I quit checking up. It is so painful for me, when I was checking his cellphone bills, or looking in his bathroom for hairs that were not his (ick), I would get so sick to my stomach, worrying that I would find something. Why on earth would I want to put myself thru that anymore?

It is one day at a time, and one tiny step at a time. And sooner, or later, something will click in your head telling you that enough is enough, you are worth more than this! He is not YOUR problem. He is HIS problem.

And if his decision in life is to spiral downward, I am certainly not going to let him take me along. I want to live. And have a good life. And today, I am so proud of myself, I got out in the 30 degree weather, and started jogging again! (sort of, I am so out of shape it was only about 10% jog and the rest walk, but I will get there!)

Little baby steps, one at a time!

ETA: Oh oh oh!!! When you take a baby step, be sure to pat yourself on the back, because you deserve it. And then post it on here and let us pat you on the back too! Because that is what support is all about!

[This message edited by NaiveAgain at 5:42 PM, February 14th (Saturday)]


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 14918 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
Ingrid
♀ Member
Member # 20126
Default  Posted: 5:48 PM, February 14th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I am certainly not going to let him take me along. I want to live. And have a good life. And today, I am so proud of myself, I got out in the 30 degree weather, and started jogging again! (sort of, I am so out of shape it was only about 10% jog and the rest walk, but I will get there!)"

That's so great NA!!!!! YAY!!!!

I was there where you are, but it's been up again/down again/ as I said I think I'm having post traumatic stress syndrome a bit.

When shortly after D/Day 5/08, I had so much support, etc., I was doing great. I lost 20 pounds, was exercising, had supportive friends/family...then everyone sort of dropped out of my my life.....everything was supposed to be back tonormal...then I slipped back.

Have been in a real depression for the past month or two now...so much so I haven't even been able to go to Al-Anon meetings. But, just in the past week, I think I'm coming of it ((again)). It's like a yo-yo at times. I wish so much I was stronger!

I wish in 5 years I'll look back saying, "what a fool I was getting myself all freaked out over it".......why look how it all turned out...whether good or bad"....I really believe everything works out for the best anyways.....when you put your faith in a Higher Power.

Why are we humans so weak????

LOL


Posts: 232 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: L.A. CA
NaiveAgain
♀ Member
Member # 20849
Default  Posted: 5:54 PM, February 14th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ingrid, I'm glad you are starting to come out of it again, and you have all of our support here, indefinitely, for as long as you need it. It is ridiculous for people to think you can get over something like this in a matter of months.

And I cycle too. I'm on an up again, after a pretty bad down a week or so ago. But it is two steps forward, one step back. I know there are more downs coming, but I will get thru them, with all the support and help I have here and with what I am trying to build in my life now.

We are weak because we are human. So isn't it amazing how resilient the human spirit can be, and how we can go thru so much and still come out standing!

Happy Valentines Day, to all the beautiful hearts out there!


Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

Posts: 14918 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Ohio
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