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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Npd Thread Part V II
norah
♀ Member
Member # 2531
Default  Posted: 5:39 PM, October 4th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sofresh,

I'm so sorry you're struggling. It's bad enough sometimes just trying to make it thru the day with life throwing us curveballs, but then on top of it all we've got to deal with these whirling wingnut N's....and their little games. Ugh!

Hang in there. Try and post when you can....we're here for you.

(((sofresh)))


lied,

Thanks. Believe me, I'm grateful for this job even tho I don't sound like it. It's the break I needed and it couldn't have happened at a better time. I was hitting an all time low and ready to just call it quits.

The great part about having a job now is knowing that N-freak can't use not making my car payment as control over me...I can make my own car payment. That was a huge stressor for me and a huge source of control for him.

He doesn't know that I have a job yet. So, I'm waiting for him to throw my car in my face to see if I'll back down on the settlement because he got layed off a few days ago.

The job is hard work and min wage, but it's a start and since I have alot of experience in this area, I can advance into management with no problem if I decide I want to stay. It's a good fall-back in case going back to school doesn't work out.

Best of all....it's moving forward and away from being used, abused and tormented by the N-freak.

Soon as the settlement & divorce is over it will be life-long no contact. I can spend the rest of my life N-free and living in peace.

May he rot in hell!

norah


Posts: 554 | Registered: Oct 2003 | From: USA
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 9:33 PM, October 5th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh man. It is going to be a day in court.

I got an email from jerkface asking (telling me) that it is the 'christian' thing to do to settle out of court and I should take 1/2 of the CS I am asking for.

Is he kidding? I mean seriously. I have no right to negotiate away the support the children should have been receiving. Hell I still don't even have financial disclosure from last year or this year and the only way I will get that is if I proceed. That was one of my requirements for 'considering' a settlement. I only have net income and not the gross income figure I need to even know what CS I should be getting.

I feel I so hate dealing with this jerk.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
norah
♀ Member
Member # 2531
Default  Posted: 11:35 PM, October 5th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((lied2)))

LOL. If your X wants to use "Christianity" to get out of paying CS he's totally off base on this one especially when Scripture tells one to take care of family. Seems he needs to brush up on his scripture.

Sorry you have to deal with this crud from him. Hang in there and keep doing what you feel is right for your children and ignore XH's scriptural badgering... for he knows not what he speaketh.

norah


Posts: 554 | Registered: Oct 2003 | From: USA
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 12:07 AM, October 6th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The whole thing makes me want to punch his lights out. I am so sick of being the one on the groud day in and day out with the 2 kids and then have him try and get me to negotiate away 1/2 of the extra support the kids are entitled.

Of course I am apparently still in a rage because of what he did 6+ years ago. I couldn't possibly be pissed that he has now gone from cheating on me to cheating the children not only of his time by abandoning them for his new life but now to knowingly try to pay less support.

I had to spend some time tonight going through old emails so in court I can show that he has been intimidating me in the past in regards to increases in support and a pattern of not providing info in a effort to avoid paying the support he is supposed to pay. I am going into all this pro se but have the advice on a lawyer on the whole thing. I also have done substantial research on this and have some legal stuff to back me in case I need it.

I think I am going to see if I can get a friend to go to court with me for moral support. I know how upset he makes me when I have to see him and having someone there will definitally help.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
sofresh
♀ Member
Member # 22912
Default  Posted: 7:36 AM, October 6th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lied2

I am going through the same. I thought he believed in God when I met him. I have been a christian for almost 10 years now...before we met.

He owes 680 in CS and wants me to settle for 460. He bought a 2009 Mercedes C300 4 matic at auction for $18,500. He has NEVER had a car that cost him more than $5,000. No doubt this has something to do with the OW's connections and her $$$.

I once said that I understood as a Christian that our life here is temporary and we live for God, not for our own happiness and he said then I should take him back because it was best for our son.

This was the week he convinced me to sleep with him even though I had been fighting off another false R for a week.

I so wanted to take him back so OW would see him leave her AGAIN...but I unlike him, have emotions. It was stupid of me to sleep with him...God knows how many others there are if he's willing to cheat on her. But I think I allowed it for two reasons 1) maybe she'd catch on 2)When is the next time I'm going to have sex?

And now...his claws are out...he has been nothing but pure evil after I told him I was no-longer willing to sit down with him and create a settlement.
This was my change of heart after helping him cheat on his new "love" and receiving a draft settlement from his attroney that contained nothing of what we had agreed on previously!!!!!!!!
I'm so mean


ME BW 30 & DS 14 mos.
STBXWH 38 sociopath, SA living with OW 25
D day #1
4 F/R's and corresponding D days
For unhealthy relationships, Dr Seuss would probably say to us…
“Be happy its over, don't cry because it happened”

Posts: 630 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: NY
veritas
♀ Member
Member # 3525
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, October 6th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

sofresh, you're the other woman now, which is not a good position to be in. It doesn't give you much of a moral high ground to stand on, and your NPD will undoubtedly use it against you.

lied2, ain't it always the way??? The Christian thing to do would be for him to pay what he owes!

norah, congrats on the new job!


Actions unmask what words disguise.
Love many; trust few; and always paddle your own canoe.
When you win, you teach; when you lose, you learn.

Posts: 10164 | Registered: Feb 2004
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 9:47 AM, October 6th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I had to laugh because the one line in the email is that I feel entitled to have the support. No shit sherlock. The law does say that the kids are entitled to be support by their parents according to their income. How he feels entitled to not pay that support to the children is what I don't get.

Oh and he thanked me for my prompt reply. Of course that comes 6 weeks after my reply.

All last night, as I could not sleep, I just have to be strong. I have nothing to lose because if I don't do this I won't get any more support.

Lucky I keep all my old emails because I can show him threatening me in the past if I try and get his support raised he will ask for money back and his income would decrease so I will get less support in the future. Between that and the good christain who is paying over 20% of his imcome to as charitable donations but not wanting to give money to his kids may not help his case any. Especially when he knows I make a fourth of his income. (and their household income is 7-8 times mine)


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 9:58 AM, October 6th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'll be thinking of you today and sending good thoughts your way. You're going to do GREAT!! Can't wait for the update.


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7925 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 10:12 AM, October 7th (Wednesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My friend just confirmed that she will come along for moral support.

Who wants to bet she is in for a show from my ex.? This is one friend who has not met my ex.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 1:55 PM, October 9th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Numbnuts emailed me this morning and wanted to make sure I got his email offering me 1/2 the CS he owes. He wants to make sure I understand his position on all this.

Since I already filed the court brief for court and it is in the process of being served I am sure he will get the message soon.

I am waiting for the explosion so I know he got it.

Tell me these idiots eventually go away and find a dark cave or something.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 8:51 PM, October 9th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((TRIBE)))
This is a hard place to be, i remember long ago, when i found myself on here...heh, the jaw-droppingness of it, yeah.

Still, I think this is one of the world's yep, the WORLD'S most valuable resources for those who are surviving contact w an NPD>

Like lied said, it's all about pattern recognition, as bucky fuller said, and he was a genius. Therefore, we all might be, are becoming, geniuses who recognize the pattern, and survive.
Thru eternity, it'd be my prayer for all.
Contact with my pet has caused me to change, and begin considering eternity, and all the books that'd be wrote.
again! (how high they must stack!)

It is because of this, and my finding SI and friends who have shared the front-line stories, that i
hug tribe.


Posts: 5976 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 9:28 PM, October 9th (Friday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hey JJCT

Hope you are doing well and your freak contact is minimal. :)


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
stupidstupidme
♀ Member
Member # 11888
Default  Posted: 9:08 AM, October 13th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have you all noticed that people like this cannot hide their true colors for any substantial length of time.

I am actually getting quite amused. I might buy him a backhoe for xmas.

Evidentally a shovel isn't enough...


Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength
August Wilson

Posts: 19682 | Registered: Aug 2006
Catwoman
♀ Member
Member # 1330
Default  Posted: 10:07 AM, October 13th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't forget the rope, SSM. He'll need quite a bit of it. Let's hope he's practiced his knots.

Cat


FBS: Married 20 years, 2 daughters 25 and 22. Divorced by the grace of GOD.
D-Days: 2/23/93; 10/11/97; 3/5/03
Ex & OW Broke up 12-10
"An erection does not count as personal growth."

Posts: 29469 | Registered: Apr 2003 | From: Massachusetts
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 11:55 PM, October 17th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just wanted to post this tidbit I found.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/1998/07/980720081130.htm

Sure does fit.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 6:40 PM, October 19th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Studies Find Narcissists Most Aggressive When Criticized

well no shit sherlock, bout time

listen lied, the rest of them are behind the curve...they're still tryin to understand it. the problem with them is
many of them
WELL, HOPEFULLY NONE OF THEM HAVE TO GO THROUGH SURVIVING...damn caps


SI is the repositor (like, how far ahead are we...like you just twigged to this dude?) After a hard drive crash, a thankful hugs for all, and a reminder.
Love wins. It really does.
(((TRIBE)))

jus so's you can keep puttin that one foot
forward! read up from the source @npd - si.

I lost all of my old stuff, history stuff that made my jaw do that thing, but it's ok,

hm
I think si has been that for long and long.
I'm glad and I hate it that you found your way here
but that's ok too, seing how i so strive to be
at one with my duality.


Posts: 5976 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 9:08 PM, October 19th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Losing an HDD is like losing an address book. Totally bites. My son's crashed in the summer and I had quite a bit stored on there. All gone too.

Numbnuts has to serve me papers at the latest by tomorrow. I am half wondering if I should be out when he expects me to be home. Considering he refused to answer his door all day the last time I tried to serve him.

It is so hard not to sink to their level.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
sadtoo
♀ Member
Member # 2027
Default  Posted: 2:20 PM, October 26th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Lied2)))
Thinking about you today. Sending good vibes. I'm sure everything will go fine.


It is what it is, not what we hope it can be.

When another woman takes your husband,
sometimes the best thing you can do for
yourself is to LET HER HAVE the worthless
bum.
OC born 2001
Divorced 2003
Remarried 2008 (New Guy)


Posts: 7925 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Iowa
lied2
♀ Member
Member # 1807
Default  Posted: 10:06 PM, October 26th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I posted in D/S forum.

It was not very productive but it did show me how totally messed up my ex is.

He just can't wrap his head around the idea that he has to follow the law and support his kids.


The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence. It is astro turf.

The essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.


A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.


Posts: 8196 | Registered: Aug 2003 | From: Ontario, Canada
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 10:34 PM, October 27th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If there ever was a theme-song for this thread...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7MuwPlOiNQ


Posts: 5976 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
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