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User Topic: Spouses/Partners of Sex Addicts 3
OneTooMany?
♀ New Member
Member # 24672
Default  Posted: 10:03 PM, July 11th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((1 day)))

I am so sorry to hear your story and so glad you found this site. I have been here a week and have been helped so much.

HELP please! Victim of incest, bipolar, Unfaithful and SA???

My husband is a victim of sexual abuse (rape) in his childhood, was diagnosed with adult ADHD, depression, and dysthemia (which roughly translates to "strange soul" - whatever that means!), sought comfort through compulsive use of alcohol and prescription drugs, and acted out sexually throughout all of it. (Read my profile for details) Only now after the third d-day is he finally coming to terms with the fact that he is SA.

You may only know about the affair so far - full disclosure about his sexual acting out may only come through a guided meeting with a therapist. Try to seek out a CSAT - I know it has been incredibly helpful for us (again, we're only a week in, so time will tell...)

7yrsbetrayed is an excellent resource and any post you read from her will help a lot. I picked up a copy of Mending a Shattered Heart and am amazed with how many things apply to me. I had no idea the extent of my co-addiction to WH until I started reading this. It has a lot of information that will help you through this trying time.

Peace be with you during this difficult time.

~One


Married 13 years, betrayed many times. Have two wonderful kids and hoping we can still make this work.

"To love is not just to look at each other but to look together in the same direction." ~ Antoine de St. Exupery


Posts: 39 | Registered: Jul 2009
1 day at a time
♀ New Member
Member # 24787
Default  Posted: 11:14 PM, July 11th (Saturday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One: Thank you for your post. I read your profile and there are some eery similarities. I have a feeling that my husband is not being totally honest with himself and therefore cannot be honest with me. I think he has probably acted out sexually in the past, although I never even suspected it and he completely denies it. I also never suspected that his father was a child molester and his mother an abuser as well - huge surprise there. I began IC in January and the first thing I said to her was that "you might think I'm crazy, but I love my husband and I want to try to save my marriage". She told me that she thinks that is very courageous of me and that most women would have given up on their husbands by now. Although, since reading the posts on this site, I can see there are many women out there suffering as much and even more so than I. It does help to feel that I'm not so alone. I just wish that we could get a handle on at least one of his issues, although they all seem to somehow be joined together. There has become a recent pattern to his sickness: he says he knows what he does is wrong, that he's trying to get help (which he is)and that he never wants to be without me. A week later, he barely remembers uttering those words and talks about how we just can't work out and that he doesn't want to be with me, becomes verbally abusive and threatening (never physical though). He has moved out for several days at a time many times over the past couple of months and this is very unhealthy for my children. Everytime he moves out, he seems more and more desperate to come back. Also, the time between these mood swings is starting to lessen. His IC thinks he is starting to bottom out and she thinks that's what he needs to do. I now say to him that I don't care if he wants to be with the OW - go ahead. I'm done. He just can't do it. I don't think that's what he really wants. I think he likes the sneakiness of it, the inappropriateness of it. If he is "allowed" to be with her, then that takes all the meaning out of it. It is also a power thing for him. He explained to me that he is in complete control of their sexual relationship whereas he feels that I control our sexual relationship. Right now, I certainly do because we no longer have a sexual relationship. I love him and want to support him as long as he is willing to continue his therapy, but I will not longer allow myself to engage in a sexual relationship with a man who cannot be faithful to me. That is the boundary that I have set and I will try my damndest to stick to it. I learned that no matter how often he and I have sex, he is still unfullfilled. He is going to stray anyway so why put myself through that pain. He went to his first SA meeting today and said that he didn't feel like he fit in because he wasn't nearly as sexually compulsive as most of the men there. He did have a consultation with a CSAT prior to the meeting and he is going to another smaller group meeting this week. Whatever his diagnosis, I know he has a great amount of sexual dysfunction due to his abuse by his father. His IC also thinks he has disassociative issues. Boy, it just keeps getting better and better. When I think back to the day he told me about the affair though and all that has transpired since that time, I really do feel like he has come a long way. It does feel like two steps forward and one back sometimes, but at least he admits he has a problem and is actively undergoing treatment. Our biggest issue right now is how to provide the greatest amount of stability for the kids. Living with a husband and these issues takes such a toll on the "healthy" spouse. I have felt my sanity slipping away on so many days. Thankfully, counseling has been a lifesaver for me. For anyone who is not in counseling, it is the absolute one thing that I feel is a must, even if your SA spouse refuses to go.

Posts: 29 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Philadelphia
2br02b
♀ Member
Member # 19664
Default  Posted: 4:22 AM, July 12th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1 and One,
Welcome to the group; but sorry to see you both here. I can relate to both of your stories as we can all relate to each other's life situations on some level.

One, you said:

was diagnosed dysthemia (which roughly translates to "strange soul" - whatever that means!)

Oh that's nice - strange soul. My husband has a paraphilia known as autogynephilia meaning “love of oneself as a woman” and defined as a male’s propensity to be erotically aroused by the thought or image of himself as a woman. How's that for bizarre eh? Add the SA on to that and you have a fierce mess. So far, there has only been mention of childhood abuse. He's working his program - that's what matters.

I found that Recovery Nation was a fantastic resource for separating the man from the addiction. I did the free Partner's Workshop and it was an excellent program. I really feel it's been crucial in our ongoing reconciliation.

I am able to see him take so many baby steps - so immature and childlike - and I delight in those; as does he. In addition, I need to show him what acceptable and mature behavior looks like. Whether I like it or not, I am his moral compass.

Right now I am still working and waiting for forgiveness. It might come when I least expect it. Most of it has been forgiven but there are a couple things that keep me up late - like tonight - spinning my wheels.

I find meditation works best.
Medication too.


Me – 51
Him – 53 (and SA)
D-Day#1 – 9/19/1981
D-Day#2 – 11/23/2008
D-Day#3 - 6/6/09 (Actually D-Day!) - full disclosure given.
Forgiveness - 8/30/09
Married 29 years
2 adult children
Reconciling
2BR02B - that is the question.

Posts: 81 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Phoenix, AZ
7yrsbetrayed
♀ Member
Member # 10198
Default  Posted: 11:36 AM, July 12th (Sunday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I read a study online that says that BS can take over a year after SA starts sexual sobriety to begin to trust and be able to forgive. For those of you who are living with rSA, how long did it take you to reach that point?

Hi One,
First of all, I think "forgiveness" is BUNK. Read my profile for my take on it. I will never "forgive" my rSA, but I can and do accept that he is SA and I can and do choose to stay with him as long as he's sober and in recovery. I love him dearly despite his disease. But I don't forgive him (which for me equals "absolve him" for his choices) My take on forgiveness vs acceptance might help you.

The point at which I turned the corner and actually began trusting again, when I was able to look at him and separate the man I love from the disease didn't happen until last summer. At that point he'd been sober for 2 years.

Timeline:
DDay 1: 5/5/05
Found AFF account and some porn. He gaslighted me for 11 months.

DDay 2: 02/16/06
Found his new AFF account that he set up on Valentine's Day while my daughter and I were ill and staying with my parents so he could "work." Redoubled my efforts to prove that I was not crazy and that he was still screwing around. (Note: no diagnosis yet)

DDay 3: 4/11/06
Finally got confirmation of his secret email account, gained access and busted this whole thing wide open. His SA diagnosis came very shortly thereafter and he got sober on 8/29/06.

My turning point was sometime in about July of 2008. So it was over 3 years from initial Dday and very close to 2 years from his sobriety date that I could feel trust and begin to separate the man from the disease. Keep in mind this was with extensive counseling.
~~~~~~
Fully intended to reply to all the newcomers too but my daughter just came to me saying she doesn't feel well and I touched her forehead and she's ON FIRE. Off to be a mom.

I'll be back when I can.

Love to all,
7


Me(44)
Him(46) arthurdent (rSA)
Married 12 yrs, together 15
Renewed Vows 12/19/08
One DD(8)
You can avoid reality but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.~Ayn Rand

Posts: 2167 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: Colorado
Iwillrecover
♀ Member
Member # 22329
Default  Posted: 6:14 PM, July 13th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi everyone, how are you all doing?

What a rollercoaster.

I haven't logged in in a while due to overwhelm from what we are dealing with. He now has nearly 60 days & we are both beginning our 4th step.

He has agreed to boundaries & formal disclosure & polygraph & that includes no contact with acting out partners.

He just told me his company requires him to go out of town & work closely with the woman he ended up in the bath with...the first time I discovered anything. His boss doesn't want me to go. I don't know what to do. It is part of his job & there are no jobs out there right now & he has to feed his children.

I know some men quit their jobs if they are willing to go to any lengths but what about his kids? He is already in bankruptcy.


Posts: 235 | Registered: Jan 2009
flowermom
♀ Member
Member # 23950
Question  Posted: 9:33 PM, July 13th (Monday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What Now? Where I am. My WH, SA is trying so hard, but does not think addiction counseling is needed. He thinks he has learned his lesson, and will not stray again. I am very afraid (no, I KNOW) he is hiding his head in the sand. He did not INTEND to hurt me. He did not INTEND for me to find out. He did not INTEND to give me herpes. He did not INTEND to spend so much of our money. But, he did. He is very sorry and full of remorse, but he makes statements which indicate that he really does not understand what is really going on. He thinks if things were livelier in the bedroom and "more Interesting" he would not have strayed or be tempted to stray. If I were not so "puritanical" he would not have gotten into the porn and hookers. During the big confrontation, he told me of his systematic plan that was underway to get me to join him in group sex, sex clubs and filming for the internet. Now he denies that he ever said anything like that. But now, his actions and words say that he is sorry and love me so very much. I believe he believes this- I believe he does love me- BUT after the shock of his father's death and the close call he had with divorce wears off, he will start to revert back to his old patterns. There are too many contradictions, too many questions and too many empty spaces. I love him, but I want to live more. He is killing me. Please let me know what you think. Am I wrong? Are my instincts failing me?


Me-BS WHSA, 3 wonderful kids, all grown.
Denial is not just a river in Egypt

Posts: 570 | Registered: May 2009 | From: South
SeekingHealing
♀ New Member
Member # 24617
Default  Posted: 5:51 AM, July 14th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, I'm not really sure where to post this, and it may be TMI... I think it was 7 that said in some post, somewhere (I've read so many I can't even begin to pinpoint anymore) that sex addiction is an intimacy disorder. That the addict has a problem being intimate with people in general, but also specifically during sex.

I thought, for 3 years that my husband and I were intimate. That we had a connection... and that sex was... a culmination or product of these things. He told me the other morning that he sees how deeply sex affects me, that it is extremely emotional for me. He said he can see it written all over my face. He then proceeded to tell me that he doesn't feel any of that (OUCH) and that he wants desperately to feel it. He was so close to crying (this man never cries. Only seen it happen once, and tear up twice since we've been together.) At first I was calm and understanding. I had suspected something of this nature for awhile.

Later that afternoon, I lost it. It hurt. I wasn't sure how I was ever going to be able to have sex with him again, knowing that it was just sex to him and that there was no connection. I told him that I thought we were intimate, but I guess I was wrong, and he responded "It is intimate for you." My response was "How can it be? Intimacy is a shared thing."

He conceded and we moved on. Last night we had a knock down drag out fight about everything. Finally, after struggling to get him to finally understand where I'm coming from about his intent to cheat.... I broke down. I have never cried so hard in my life. I was drooling, and my nose was just.... well... it was messy. I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders. I couldn't keep my head up anymore. WH tried to comfort me... wiped my face and nose.... I told him I was done trying to get him to understand. I think he thought I meant that I was done for good... done with the marriage. I assured him that I wasn't. I asked him how my breakdown made him feel, what he saw. He told me that he didn't realize until then, just how badly I've been hurt.

Anyway, so I don't end up writing a novel... we went to bed. I had an idea (been having a lot of those lately) and initiated sex with him (here comes the TMI part.) I knew I was taking a chance at getting hurt, because of the lack of connection. I did it anyway.

While engaged with him... I told him to tell me what he was feeling. He described his physical pleasure to me (again... knowing there was no attachment.) Then he asked what I was feeling. I began what ended up being a very emotional description of everything I was feeling, from physical to emotional.

As he got closer to.... his climax, he closed his eyes. I allowed it for a bit, and then when it was obvious he was at the point of no return, I told him to open his eyes and look at me. Twice. He did... confusion and what looked like pain crossed his face and out of nowhere... well... he finished. (I can't believe I'm posting all of this... but I need some kind of validation...) I saw it. I saw emotion all over him! I don't know if there was a connection between us (I would like to think so... I, of course, felt it) but this is a step in the right direction, I think. I was thinking this and he said "What was THAT??" He has never felt anything like that before. He said he felt fear, anxiety, exuberance and other things he couldn't put into words. EMOTIONS! Maybe not a connection YET, but once again.... BABY STEPS. I didn't get hurt. I felt overjoyed that he felt something, for once!


Posts: 27 | Registered: Jun 2009
brokenheart10
♀ Member
Member # 23603
Default  Posted: 10:20 AM, July 14th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I need advise on love addiction. My WH has finally come to terms with the fact he is an addict. It's rush of the hunt, the new relationship, the admiration not the actual act of sex that he is addicted to. We live in So. Cal. Anyone know of any good treatment programs for this? He said he is willing to get any type of help he can. Does anyone have any experience with this?


me:42 BS
him:44.serial cheater
DD:12
Married: 16 years
Too many affairs
Too many false R's
D final: 10/17/11
he remarried 10/29/11

Posts: 227 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: So. Cal
broken11
♀ Member
Member # 23277
Default  Posted: 1:28 PM, July 14th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm falling apart. I signed my divorce petition this week and it's all too much. God this hurts. I miss my husband and friend, but I can't go on like this if he won't help himself.

broken10
I don't have much advice. My husband seems similar to yours except he wasn't willing to get the help. Have you looked into SLAA?


Me: BW 30
WH:30
D-day #2 2/26/09
Filed for the big D

Posts: 619 | Registered: Mar 2009
7yrsbetrayed
♀ Member
Member # 10198
Default  Posted: 4:52 PM, July 14th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I need advise on love addiction. My WH has finally come to terms with the fact he is an addict. It's rush of the hunt, the new relationship, the admiration not the actual act of sex that he is addicted to. We live in So. Cal. Anyone know of any good treatment programs for this? He said he is willing to get any type of help he can. Does anyone have any experience with this?

It's all considered sex addiction. There is no separate thing called "love addiction." He needs to see a CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) and go to SA (Sexaholics Anonymous) meetings. The chemicals released in his brain that give him his high are the same for everyone with this type of addiction. It is all the same thing. Period.

I've heard bad things about SLAA because it is full of women. Bad idea for men.


Me(44)
Him(46) arthurdent (rSA)
Married 12 yrs, together 15
Renewed Vows 12/19/08
One DD(8)
You can avoid reality but you cannot avoid the consequences of avoiding reality.~Ayn Rand

Posts: 2167 | Registered: Mar 2006 | From: Colorado
1 day at a time
♀ New Member
Member # 24787
Default  Posted: 6:01 PM, July 14th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Flowermom: Is your husband bipolar? The back and forth you describe sounds a lot like my husband and he has been diagnosed bipolar.

Seeking help: Do you know if your husband has any sexual abuse and/or dysfunction in his childhood? His lack of emotion/intimacy during sex most likely comes from somewhere and if you could try to communicate about why he has this issue, that would be the first step to solving your problem. Don't worry about TMI. I believe that's the only way to get people to understand the true problem. It helps no one to hold back. Good luck.


Posts: 29 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Philadelphia
1 day at a time
♀ New Member
Member # 24787
Default  Posted: 6:05 PM, July 14th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Broken 11:

I am so sorry for your pain. I feel I may also be in your shoes one day and I truly cannot imagine it. The thing is, I already feel as though I lost my best friend and I think he no longer exists. It's so sad.


Posts: 29 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Philadelphia
1 day at a time
♀ New Member
Member # 24787
Default  Posted: 6:09 PM, July 14th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have read a lot of posts about people putting spyware/key loggers on their spouses computers. Can you guys give me some information about these programs; i.e., the best ones to use. Also, I do not have access to my husband's laptop. He has the entire thing password protected. Would one of these programs still be able to be installed on the laptop if I can't even log on to it? Please help!

Posts: 29 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Philadelphia
ScribblingMum
♀ Member
Member # 20097
Default  Posted: 8:49 PM, July 14th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

NeedstoRelate,

Hi...oh listen to these wise ladies...please...can you go to S-Anon? I also always tell women: what-would-you-want-if-this-was-your-daughter? You cannot tolerate this addiction..it WILL progress...read my sig. line...

Glad you found this forum...


~ScribblingMum~
D-D 1: 12/23/06 - Porn (dd bust him on-line)
D-D 2: 4-25-08 - Massage P.'s(new act. in pretend recov.)
D-D 3:9-9-08 Caught call m. girl
D-Day 4: 6/30/09 -: free MP g.f./prost.
D-Day 5: 1-10-10: new mp prost's.
~DONE!


Posts: 1529 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: S .CALIF.
flowermom
♀ Member
Member # 23950
Default  Posted: 9:40 PM, July 14th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have fully come to the realization that with someone who is a SA, there is no real recovery or sobriety until there is full realization and comprehension of what they are doing and have done. These people, who we love so much, get into the throes of this addiction and are willing to compromise every belief and standard they have held for their entire lives for the "fix". They will use their wives, children, families, fortunes, and very own lives for that one objective- an orgasm. They will increase the risk of the behavior to increase the excitement and intensity. They are enslaved by their own bodies, and become liars, robbers and cheats. They will lie about anything to protect their way of life- and risk everything- even the health, safety and trust of the ones they love. It is and always will be part of their lives, a shadow which follows them wherever they go. Even in recovery and long term sobriety, this specter is forever at their side, waiting or an opening, a moment of weakness, an opportunity. The partner must be forever aware, vigilant, careful. Even the most careful, loving relationship will have this shadow. There is chance for love, for redemption, for healing. But the work is hard, long term and never ends. Am I willing to pay that price? I am not even sure he is serious about this. His denial of issues and refusal to go to groups or a CSAC leaves me with small hope. The last chance has been used. There are no more left.

[This message edited by flowermom at 9:42 PM, July 14th (Tuesday)]


Me-BS WHSA, 3 wonderful kids, all grown.
Denial is not just a river in Egypt

Posts: 570 | Registered: May 2009 | From: South
ScribblingMum
♀ Member
Member # 20097
Default  Posted: 9:46 PM, July 14th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

discombobulated & broken11:

So sorry for your pain...I'm heading for divorce finally i think...am still processing all...WH is NPD also...

Forsakened/whatnowAZ: I haven't worked in 20 + years & am a SAHM also...no $$$, etc. i feel your same fear...but like 7 said...you would leave FOR your kids if need be...rather then keep them in a home w/ active sex addiction...
In the begin. my WH was "just into porn"...usually, this is all you KNOW about...I know that is hard to swallow...but it's true...

Brokenheart10: S. Calif. has Sexual Recovery Institute with Robert Weiss...if you can afford it...in L.A. AND tons of CSAT's...
Also, pm me...there are great S-anon groups in S. Calif.!!!!!

[This message edited by ScribblingMum at 9:48 PM, July 14th (Tuesday)]


~ScribblingMum~
D-D 1: 12/23/06 - Porn (dd bust him on-line)
D-D 2: 4-25-08 - Massage P.'s(new act. in pretend recov.)
D-D 3:9-9-08 Caught call m. girl
D-Day 4: 6/30/09 -: free MP g.f./prost.
D-Day 5: 1-10-10: new mp prost's.
~DONE!


Posts: 1529 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: S .CALIF.
ScribblingMum
♀ Member
Member # 20097
Default  Posted: 10:01 PM, July 14th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

HELP! My 15dd (special needs) is really close to her dad...& I just kicked him out again. He wants to SEE her. I told him he can't be alone w/ her while he's in active addiction or hanging w/ hookers. I did let her talk to him on her cell phone...

I feel like he needs to be SOBER before he can be w/ her...& prove it this time by polygraph! But this is so fecking tough for my daughter...she wants her dad...I'm so upset...my older dd won't speak to her dad until he truly turns his life around...as I just caught him again lying about everything & he has a girlfriend-hooker & never stopped acting out for very long at all...

WHAT would you do? How have some of you handles this if u were separated but the kids want to see their dad...?

PLEASE HELP ME...
thank you...


~ScribblingMum~
D-D 1: 12/23/06 - Porn (dd bust him on-line)
D-D 2: 4-25-08 - Massage P.'s(new act. in pretend recov.)
D-D 3:9-9-08 Caught call m. girl
D-Day 4: 6/30/09 -: free MP g.f./prost.
D-Day 5: 1-10-10: new mp prost's.
~DONE!


Posts: 1529 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: S .CALIF.
Melissa21
♀ Member
Member # 23555
Default  Posted: 10:40 PM, July 14th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Scribbling---

I am in a similar situation, but our child is 20 months. I just meet him at the park or something like that so he can see his son or out to lunch or dinner. He doesn't like it, but I think he understands my point even though he wont admit it.

He is also an alcholic so if he shows up drunk or even close I tell him to leave and come back when he is sober. He gets angry, but what can I do? It's best for my son this way.


DDay March 22, 2009.


Posts: 151 | Registered: Apr 2009 | From: USA
ScribblingMum
♀ Member
Member # 20097
Default  Posted: 11:07 PM, July 14th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Melissa,

Thanks...that's what I'm thinking...but it's going to be hard cuz i know my dd will want to go places w/ him...


~ScribblingMum~
D-D 1: 12/23/06 - Porn (dd bust him on-line)
D-D 2: 4-25-08 - Massage P.'s(new act. in pretend recov.)
D-D 3:9-9-08 Caught call m. girl
D-Day 4: 6/30/09 -: free MP g.f./prost.
D-Day 5: 1-10-10: new mp prost's.
~DONE!


Posts: 1529 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: S .CALIF.
OneTooMany?
♀ New Member
Member # 24672
Default  Posted: 11:30 PM, July 14th (Tuesday), 2009View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH is all over the place - manic and a know-it-all one minute, crying and depressed the next. He decided to tell my 13 year old son that he cheated on me while I was out with my daughter - my son called me from his cell crying his eyes out. I am so pissed at him for doing this!

We met with MC today, and I told her that I needed to set boundaries for what he can and can't say to the kids about his addiction. I told her that I'm not really capable right now of having him share a new disclosure piece every day - I need him to talk to his IC and allow me the safety of MC to reveal more to me. He flew off on this tangent about not feeling safe if he can't communicate with me openly - it's like he can't understand that it's TOO MUCH for me to deal with right now!

MC and IC have recommended a treatment facility. The one I called today is $40,000 for 35 days. I'm a teacher, so that's pretty much my annual salary. How can we do this? Even if insurance covers some (which they told me most won't when it's SA - all other addictions they would cover!) I don't know how I can afford to do this!

He's attending IC frequently (almost daily right now) and is attending SA meetings at least three times a week - is that enough? What did your spouses do to recover?

~One


Married 13 years, betrayed many times. Have two wonderful kids and hoping we can still make this work.

"To love is not just to look at each other but to look together in the same direction." ~ Antoine de St. Exupery


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